The Careful Fearless
by Cassadee Willows
Summary: Reid is guarded, emotionally battle scarred with years of insecurities that plague him. Taylor is left battered and broken after an unspoken tragic event. Both find themselves staying with Emily, where finding peace means finding all the pieces.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! I know I have a fan-fiction already going, which is actually where this short story came from. In writing my other fiction, I realized that I had a lot of kinks to work out in writing Reid's personality. This story came about as purely an exercise for that purpose. I put Reid in the most awkward situation I could possibly put him in, and then made it ten times more awkward. The chapters are fairly long, but there are only five.

A little bit about this story: I have no idea what made me decide to share this. This is a pure work of fiction, maybe even to the story line of Criminal Minds. (I don't believe Emily has any siblings. Correct me if I'm wrong.) It was just the most awkward situation I could think to put Reid in. This story is also not so much about a case, but, because I was working on Reid's personality specifically, about a relationship that is forced upon him.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters. It's a shame, because I'd be swimming in the dough if I did. However, I don't want that much responsibility. I do own Taylor and this specific story line, however. Muahaha!

**Chapter 1**

**Socially Inept Motormouth, Meet Taylor Prentiss**

"All right, Taylor, here we are. Feel free to make yourself at home. The fridge is fully stocked, there's fresh towels in the bathroom if you want to shower after the flight, and there's cable television, but no premium channels. And if you want to order something, just make sure you let me know so that there's no surprises when I get the bill." Emily opened the door to her apartment, letting the younger girl and all her suitcases enter first. Since she couldn't carry all of them in one swipe, Emily followed with the biggest one, naturally. But that's what sisters were for.

Taylor's only plans for the night were to get herself something to eat, a nice shower, and then turn on a movie she could fall asleep to. Emily knew her too well when she hit on all of those things, which was her favorite thing about her sister. No matter what kind of trouble she found herself in, Emily always understood her. Or at least she thought she did, until she was halfway in the door and stopped in her tracks.

"Who's he?" Sitting on the floor in the living room in front of the television was a tall, lanky man who looked like the life of the party passed him by on purpose.

"Taylor, that's Spencer Reid. He works with me. He's staying with me until he can go back to his apartment. Reid, this is my sister Taylor." Taylor didn't move. She was under the understanding that the coming days would only consist of herself and her sister. She hadn't come here on vacation. She needed Emily right now.

"Hi, Taylor." His voice was backward, and most of his greeting came in the gesture of him waving his hand at her. Great, he was one of those types.

"What's up?" Taylor waved back, mimicking his gesture as if to make fun of him, and then dropped her bag just outside of the kitchen and moved into it, rolling her eyes.

"Not too much, actually. You know, it inherently amazes me that even though cable advertises having over one hundred channels, there's virtually nothing on. In fact, some of the channels are music channels, and since you're paying for television I don't think they would qualify, which means your cable provider is lying to you, Emily. You should probably call them tomorrow morning and get your money back for the months you've paid for what they've advertised, when that isn't at all what you're getting. You may have to argue with them, but legally they would have no case. They've essentially lied to you about what you would be getting versus what you're paying for. In fact, if you'd like to hand me your phone, I'll call now for you." Taylor turned around, covering her mouth before smacking her head repeatedly off of the fridge. She may as well just give herself a headache now, because if she spent five more minutes around him, she was going to have one.

Emily walked over to Taylor, gently placing her hands on her shoulders to get her to stop. "Taylor, knock it off. He's going to notice. I know he's a bit much, but you'll get used to him. He's a really nice guy." She whispered, not wanting Reid to notice, knowing her sister's tolerance for people like him was not her forte. She almost had her when they caught Reid's attention.

"Is she okay? You know, hitting your head once can cause serious damage, such as a concussion, which can lead to other things. Doing it repeatedly can cause..." Emily cut in, knowing he wasn't helping the situation.

"Reid...I've got this." Emily took one hand off of Taylor's shoulder and held it up to metaphorically keep Reid in the living room where he was. He started to get up anyway.

"With all due respect, Emily, I don't think you do. It's not normal for someone to purposely hit their head off of something. This kind of behavior is sometimes exhibited in people suffering from ADHD or certain forms of OCD, although rare, and can more often be a sign of a serious, underlying medical or mental disorder. I think it would be in everyone's best interest to have her evaluated, if you haven't already." Reid had made his way over to the edge of the kitchen counter, intent on self-evaluating Taylor with his naked eye, intuition and several degrees. He was a doctor with a degree in psychology, after all, and although that barely made him a professional, he knew enough about what he was doing to be of help.

Feeling Reid getting closer, she stopped hitting her head and turned around, looking at Emily. "He's the genius one, isn't he?" This may have sounded like a compliment, but it was not. Emily knew this.

"He is." Spencer, however, did not.

"What? You've told her about me? You talk about me to your sister?" He was excited about this, a little more than he should be. Emily was sweet and he knew she wouldn't say anything bad about him, so he was beside himself that she would talk about him at all.

"Don't flatter yourself. She doesn't have to say much about you for me to think you're nuts. There's a lot to hate about you, Doctor Reid." Emily had told her just the same several times, so she thought she'd mock her and put Reid in his place in one go. The last thing she needed was to make nice with a socially inept motormouth.

"Taylor!" Emily was taken aback. She knew her sister had been through a lot and had guards up all over the place. Because of this, she was often brash, and didn't hold back on saying whatever came to her mind first, no matter what the cost.

It was a shame, because somehow Emily was prolifically hoping that the reasons for Taylor's guard would be what would let her connect to Reid. Lord knows they both could use a little companionship. Maybe she was wrong and this wouldn't be a good thing, yet end up leaving Taylor to pull away from her to brood on her own, while Reid gained another emotional scar.

"What?" Taylor threw her hands up, unsure of what she said that was wrong. She called it how she saw it.

"You promised you'd be nice while you were staying with me." Poor Reid was left to stand where he was stopped verbally in his tracks, while the two pretended he was never in the room. He didn't know what else to do with himself.

"And I was. I didn't say I hated him. I just said I thought he was nuts _after_ he said I needed evaluated for a mental disorder. Yell at him. I'm going to get a shower. Where should I put all my stuff?" Passing Emily, Taylor bent down to pick up her bags she had dropped. She'd carry what she could and get herself sorted out prior to her shower. She could use the alone time to wrap her mind around how she was going to stop her sharp shooting mouth from injuring the already fragile Reid that she had heard so much about. If there was one thing she hated, it was train wrecks, but mostly because she was one and could pity the fool.

"Okay, don't freak out but here's the thing; I actually don't have an extra bedroom for you to stay in. I was going to put you on the fold out couch and let you store your stuff in the closet by the door, but since Reid's here you're going to have to share the living room with him, and the closet with his stuff." Instead of hitting the roof, Taylor grabbed for her purse to look up a few things on her nifty, technically driven phone, and count the money in her wallet.

"You know what, I'm just going to go stay at a hotel. I saw one a few blocks down the street on our way here." Before Emily could rebuttal, she was already scrolling through the links for hotels in the area, trying to find the number so she could call and make reservations for herself. She had made her decision.

"Taylor, you will do no such thing. You came here to deal with some things, so you're going to stay here and do it where I can keep an eye on you, and you can have me to talk to whenever you feel the need to." Emily didn't want to give too much away about Taylor's personal state of mine, or her reason for being here with Reid in the room, but she knew she couldn't let her leave. If she were to be alone, it was possible the fears Emily had that caused her to bring here would play out.

"Which would be great if it was just you and me, but it's not. I'm not really in the mood to partake in sharing and caring with a psychoanalyzing genius with five million degrees, who thinks I need evaluated already, so I'll pass on your offer." She wouldn't have endured a monotonous flight had she thought she was going to have to share the house with someone other than her sister, far more a man. She'd rather be alone than around him.

"Taylor, don't do this. You're fine here. You're safe, and Reid is a good guy. He's not going to invade your privacy, and he'll leave us alone to talk if you need to talk. He'll give us space." Reid felt completely uncomfortable.

It wasn't he that asked Emily if he could stay at her house, but Emily who had offered upon finding out that he had nowhere to stay for the only week the whole team had off during the year. He was forewarned that her sister would be coming and was interested to meet another piece of the lovely Emily's family. Had he known his being there would have caused so many problems, he would have tried to wiggle his way into someone else's home, or scrape together every last dime that wasn't going to his mother's treatment to stay at a hotel.

"Space? I have to share a fold out couch and a closet with him! How is that giving me space? What am I going to have to share with him next, a toothbrush? Are you going to marry us off by the end of the week? Because if I remember correctly, it was you that told me I should never sleep in a bed with someone of the opposite sex unless we were in a serious, monogamous relationship. I'm pretty sure I'd rather skip that train altogether. No offense, Reid." Contrary to popular belief, Taylor was far from a bitch. Although she called it like she saw it, she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings on purpose. Reid just happened to be in the path of an loaded gun under fire.

"Offense taken. That term is an oxymoron. You can't say something offensive and then add no offense, because that in itself indicates that you know you've already offended the person, but you want to excuse yourself from any blame. And I believe when your sister said that you weren't to sleep with someone you weren't in a relationship with, she meant engage in sexual intercourse, not to lie dormant next to someone." As with most things, Reid skipped over the social part of the conversation and focused merely on what he knew. Some habits couldn't be broken, or dogs taught new tricks.

"Reid..." Emily tried to warn him, knowing Taylor was at her breaking point and she was about to go off and erupt all over his tame, and well meaning demeanor.

"No shit, Sherlock. Thank you ever so much for that explanation. And while the peanut gallery is in session, let me just ask you a question. Is it possible that you currently have no place to live because you annoyed the hell out of your neighbors by constantly condescending them and belittling them with your ever superior genius, so they threatened that you either leave or they kick your scrawny ass into kingdom come? Because the way I understand it, you're not too agile on your feet, so I'm sure they could snap you like a twig and you'd have no defense." Taylor forced a smile and fluttered her eyes, sarcastically showing how polite and happy she could be. She had all she could take and didn't need her sister telling her to calm down one more time. She was perfectly calm, as calm as she can be while pissed off.

"Actually, I think most people in my building know I work for the FBI, and would be intelligent enough to not threaten me knowing I could arrest them for threatening a Federal Agent. Therefore, your hypothesis is, quite frankly, weak at best. I would also never consciously condescend or belittle anyone who did not talk down to me first, nor did I do it to you just now, since that's what you seemed to be implying. I was merely correcting your inability to recognize the fault of your own speech. And if you must know, I had a cooking incident in my apartment and am not allowed to move back in until the damage is repaired. Nearly everything I own perished, and parts of my place have to be gutted, so I apologize for needing somewhere to stay." Emily found herself a little surprised to see Reid defending himself against her sharp tongued sister. The only time she had seen him set off was when he was shooting up with Dilaudid, or under extreme emotional distress. He had been fine all day, so she knew that his persnickety attitude was purely against Taylor.

"Some genius you are. I'll call you when I get checked in." Without wanting to hear more from Reid and have more stress added to her life, Taylor decided she'd throw her bags out the door and make reservations from out in the hallway. Scratch that, she'd make them from the lobby of the apartment building, as far away from this circus as she could get.

"Now hold on. Taylor, you're not going anywhere. I'm going to have to put my foot down on this one and pull the big sister card." Emily reached out and took the phone and purse out of Taylor's hand while her defenses were down, as she tried to gather her other suitcases in one fell swoop. It was nearly impossible considering all the luggage she had.

"More like the mom card." Taylor's eyes narrowed, and then flinched between Emily and Reid. She felt like the world was against her, and she was shoveling through the same old bullshit.

"Hey, that's not fair. You know I'm not like her." Emily stayed calm, her voice strong but sweet. She knew you caught more flies with honey than vinegar. Taylor had been through a lot, and she saw no reason to exacerbate her stress by yelling at her.

"You're not like her? Emily, you want me to share a pull out couch with some...some...some...with _him_! If you like him enough to let him stay here, you share the couch with him! This is exactly what mom would do; put me second to someone she worked with! She did it all the time when we were kids!" It took years for Emily to get past the way her mother had treated her in order to "build character," as she would put it. Taylor was nearly ten years her junior, and was still struggling to find a balance between smooth, shiny armor, and armor with spikes.

"Reid, can you excuse us for a minute?" Seeing the personal direction this was going in, Emily decided to break away from Reid. Only now was she understanding just how uncomfortable it was to be under his microscope like Taylor had been earlier.

Emily led Taylor back toward the door, and then to the left into the bathroom, where she closed the door. What she failed to realize, having never been the party to an argument in her apartment of which she lived alone, was that the walls were thin and Reid would still be able to hear every part of their conversation.

"Taylor, you know I'm not mom and I'm not trying to be like her. I'm just helping a friend. I know you were hoping for some us time, and we're still going to have that. I know sharing a pull out couch with someone you don't know is uncomfortable, but Reid's not a normal guy. He doesn't have the sexual urges that other guys do. He looks at you and sees his co-worker's sister, not a sex object. If anything, he's more uncomfortable with this than you are, and I bet you anything he'll sleep on the floor without you having to ask him to." Emily got her point across, but then realized just how miserable that was to say. There was nothing natural about it. It was one thing to talk about the sexual urges of an unsub, but a total other when it came to a co-worker. "Wow, this is an uncomfortable conversation that I never thought I'd have to have about Reid, and especially not with my sister."

Not paying much attention, Taylor moved her hand across the bathroom sink of which she had been leaning, picking up shaving cream and handing it to Emily. "Is there something else you'd like to share with me? Or should I say, is there something else you'd like to let me know I'll be sharing?"

"Not really." Taylor had all she could take, and she was a smart girl. There was no need for Emily to tell her what she already knew, what with her hating being condescended so much.

"So you weren't planning on telling me that since my living quarters for the next week is going to be on the lower floor, I'm also going to have to share a bathroom with Reid?" The thought grossed her out. She didn't care how clean cut Reid looked in his geeky sweater vest and ugly tie. He was still a boy and had no bathroom manners. Hell, he couldn't even make a meal without almost burning down his apartment. What one had to do with the other, she didn't know and she didn't care

"I was hoping we could skip that part. If it really makes you uncomfortable, you can share my bathroom." It would be seemingly more of an inconvenience for Taylor to have to lug her essentials, such as clothing to change into after her showers, up and down the stairs, but if it's what she wanted to do in order to avoid sharing a bathroom, it's what she would be allowed to do.

"Can I share your bed, too?" Sarcasm twisted its way back into the conversation, because she already knew the answer she was going to get. If it would have been an option, it would have been offered up already.

"It's a full bed. We wouldn't both fit." Emily never saw a point in buying a bed made for two when it was always just her. It just made her feel more lonely.

"Then can I pay for a hotel room for Reid?" She knew the answer to this as well, but she had to try. It seemed logical.

"Taylor, drop it. Reid is staying here and so are you. I'm positive neither of you will die from the experience. In fact, it could be good for the both of you. Now let's get out of the bathroom before we make Reid feel like we're conspiring against him. He's a sensitive guy, you know." Emily opened the door, ushering Taylor out. Taylor was reluctant, but had come to the conclusion that she was stuck where she was. It didn't mean she had to be happy about it.

"You have a seriously skewed view of the meaning of the words _good _and _sensitive_." Defeated and out of the bathroom, Taylor decided to shuffle through her stuff to find a change of clothes so she could get a shower. She'd forego dinner for now, especially around the accidental arsonist, and settle for a pizza with the money she wouldn't be using for a hotel room, much to her dismay.

"Actually, the word good is defined as being satisfactory in quality. Seeing as it's unlikely the situation will be either better or worse in quality due to human nature and the factor that we both have a close relationship with your sister, therefore not wanting to cause any kind of permanent rift, forcing us to try to bring out a civil personality, the situation would, by definition, be good for us. A lot of people confuse the word good to mean something exemplary. It's a common mistake. As for the word sensitive, it's defined as having perception through senses, so technically every human being is sensitive in one way or another, so your sister was right." Reid paused for a moment, unsure of why both were staring at him wide eyed. He had to admit, he was slightly intimidated. The look on their faces was not comforting. "What? I could hear you through the wall. If you want to talk privately you may want to leave the apartment next time, or even go upstairs."

"You're obnoxious. Do you know that?" It's not that Taylor didn't want to like Reid, she just wanted him to be human. Her faith in humanity was failing slowly, and she couldn't take someone who thought he was superior. She doubt he tried to play God, but with a mind like his it obviously came natural.

"No, although people have often described me as being a lot to handle. Mostly that was just my dad, but it's been said occasionally since he left." Emily hadn't told Taylor anything too personal about Reid, but Taylor suddenly found herself feeling a pang of sadness for him. No matter how obnoxious he was, it hardly seemed fair that his father left. Although she didn't know the circumstances, there was never an excuse for a father to walk out on his child, no matter what their age.

"You know, on second thought, forget the shower. I'm going to go get something to eat. I think I saw some restaurants on my way in." Taylor didn't want to feel anything for anyone right now, except sorry for herself, and mostly only because that's all she knew how to feel.

She had gone numb and shut down. Sticking around here was sure to be an emotional whirlwind, even if she were alone in the shower. Even then, she doubted she'd get the peace she was looking for. The only way to keep her mind from going comatose was to continue to change it, and go somewhere that she could be alone with just herself and time to think. She may as well kill two birds with one stone.

"Ooh, can I come with you? I'm starving, and one of my favorite restaurants is just around the corner from here. I always feel awkward sitting by myself at a place that only has tables for four or more. I was going to order in from there, but since you're going out to eat it makes sense that we would go together. It also gives me a chance to introduce you to true Italian cuisine. A lot of the pastas used in their dishes are actually shipped over from Italy." Without waiting for an answer to a question that was rhetorical only to him, Reid started over to the coat closet to reach for his jacket, since fall brought a chill to the air. He was quickly shot down.

"No. See you later." Without grabbing any extra clothing, or caring enough for herself to do so, she walked out the door with only her purse in hand, and into the hallway where she could think.

Reid hadn't had time to react. He was still in the process of putting on his jacket, his brian not catching up that he couldn't follow her anyway. This is where Emily came in. "Reid, let her go."

"Was it something I said?" Genuinely clueless Reid stood. But honestly in disbelief was Emily.

"I think it was everything you said. Why are you being so competitive with her?" She hadn't expected this out of Reid. The comment about the lack of integrity of cable providers was everything she expected, but his constant knee-jerk reaction to bring forth his knowledge before his personality left something to be desired.

"I didn't realize I was. I was just being myself." He could lie to himself so easily when there was no one else there to call his bluff. The problem was, Emily wasn't afraid to do so, just gently.

"No, you were being the person you are when you're working with an opposing law enforcement agency and have something to prove. You have nothing to prove to her, and to her you were being competitive. You don't always have to be right, you know?" All Reid had was knowing more than others, considering he wasn't particular confident in himself. It was something that had shown since the day Emily had known him, but got worse once Gideon left and let him down.

"I know. I think she hates me." Reid started to show some real, raw emotion. He didn't want to be hated. In fact, he wished everyone would like him, and didn't realize that facts weren't going to do that for him.

"She doesn't hate you, but she's been through a lot and she didn't expect to come here and have to share her space and time with you. You had that working against you from the get-go, and then you went at her with your intellectual guard up. It didn't help the situation. She's just really uncomfortable in her own skin right now, and the situation isn't helping." Emily made sure to specify that she was also finding discomfort in her own skin so that Reid could hash out the information inside of his own head and know that they were more alike than he could see on the surface.

She wanted him to be comfortable with her and drop his guard just enough to start to let her in, forcing Taylor to drop hers, too. She had asked Reid to stay with her for a reason, seeing an opportunity for the pair to have someone to emotionally understand them in a way that, unfortunately, she couldn't understand either of them. If they would stop being guarded and stubborn, they'd realize what she could already see before physically putting two and two together.

"I'm not exactly comfortable with this either. The last time I shared a bed with a girl was the sixth of never. I know it's platonic, but I'm with Taylor. Sharing a bed often represents a more physical aspect in a relationship, especially with society the way it is today, and although we would know we were only in the same bed for sleeping purposes, there's nothing about it that would feel kosher." Emily was resorting to the fact that there was more to Reid than his intellectual persona showed, and maybe she had misjudged him. It was possible he was the first person to slide under her finely tuned radar for profiling, because being a profiler himself, he knew how to fake things just right.

"I told you she was coming, though, when I invited you to stay here. You knew you were going to have to share the pull out couch with her, and you said that you were okay with that." Emily nonchalantly got a bottle of water out of her refrigerator, her throat dry from all the talking in circles she felt that she was doing. In her mind, this idea had been great and met with low resistance. Reality rarely met expectations.

"I thought I was, but it turns out I'm not just some genius co-worker that only thinks about cases, work and the errors in science fictions movies. I have feelings, too. I'm a man, too." Choking on her water, Emily set it down on the counter. It's not that she didn't think of Reid as a man, a kid maybe at times, but she didn't realize he thought of himself past the sexual capacity of a twelve year old. He just never seemed to hold much interest in anything past sending a look or two a pretty girl's way.

"Doctor Reid, what are you saying here? Should I be concerned for my sister?" She doubted she should be, but she also thought she knew him better. Was he looking at her sister as sex object? Was he capable of that

"Not at all. I'm simply saying that as a man it's unfair to expect me to be treated like a prepubescent boy. I know I'm a behind socially and romantically, but that doesn't mean I don't have urges and feelings, too. I know what I'm attracted to and who turns me on. Chemistry is a science that doesn't necessarily require a long term relationship, or extensive knowledge of the person before it's created. I would never act upon those urges. I have more control over myself than that, and quite honestly, I wouldn't even know what to do, but you can't expect me to not notice what I'm drawn to, and not feel uncomfortable being at that close of a proximity to it. It would be unfair." Emily was torn. On one hand her work grown friendship and admiration for the good Doctor only allowed her to see him as a colleague and a naive boy, which was a discredit to who he really was. On the other, she couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. Had he just said, without really saying, that he was sexually attracted to her sister?

"I'm sorry, Reid. I didn't meant to offend you, but I also don't know if I'm the right person to talk to about this. Maybe Taylor's right and I should send you to a hotel, or we could call Morgan and see if you could stay with him. He would be a good person to talk to about this sort of thing." When in doubt, send him to someone who could understand. Morgan was a bit of a mentor to Reid, and he should be the first person he talked to. It couldn't hurt to get a man's point of view on this.

"That won't work. He went to the Caribbean for the week. Something about wanting to avoid the chilly weather and meet some hot, hot honeys." Just when Emily thought it was safe to get something to drink again, he went and said that.

"Oh...promise me you'll never, ever say that again." She was seeing a completely different side of him that she didn't anticipate when inviting him to stay with her. Maybe she should have expected that, but she hadn't.

"Promise." Realizing his error and how bad it sounded when a little sexually inexperienced white boy repeated the words of a smooth colored one, he made a promise he could keep.

"Now, what am I going to do with you for the week? More importantly, what am I going to do about you and Taylor?" Reid shrugged.

"Nothing. You had an original plan and I think it would be best to stick with it. If Taylor is as uncomfortable with sharing the couch with me as you say, I'll sleep in the chair or on the floor. If she's not, I'll keep on my side of the bed and she'll surely stay on hers. I don't see a problem with this." Reid finally took a seat on one of Emily's bar stools, relaxing his stance for the first time since Taylor had walked through the door. This let Emily know that he was unconsciously comfortable with the idea, and had absolutely no intentions of deviating off of any innocent ideas he had prior to meeting her.

"You are a strange, little man, because I see at least a dozen problems with this." She never thought Ried would be the one person who she'd feel wonky about allowing her sister around, but it was turning out that way. His absence in noticing this was uncanny.

"Because you're looking at this from society's angle. If you drop that and think of this in terms of the people who are involved, you'll revert back to your initial feeling about the situation." Emily nodded and then sighed. When he put it that way, he was correct.

"Yes, but I made that decision prior to knowing you found my sister hot." She and her sister looked very similar, and Reid had never shown any interest in her. Of course, her sister was more his age and had youth on her side. Not to mention no two people looked exactly alike, and it could be the smallest thing that triggered someone's interest.

"I didn't say that I found her hot. I simply said that I was sexually attracted to her. If you don't trust me, I'll go and find somewhere else to stay. I mean, I don't know where. Everyone else is either away for their vacation or wouldn't have room for me in their homes, and I don't have money for a hotel, but it's okay. I'll figure it out." Reid wasn't trying to play hardball. This, again, was his brutal honesty for the situation shining through.

"No, Reid, you're right. Although it creeps me out that you are attracted to my sister, I do trust you. I know that you wouldn't look at her objectively, far more put a move on her. You can stay and we'll work with the mantra that it will all work out in the end." She did trust Reid, and she knew that the last thing her sister wanted was to be touched by some stranger she barely knew. She didn't even want to try to bond with him in any way, shape, or form. The person who was going to have the worst end of the stick would most likely be him and his sexual attraction. She felt badly for him, but at least she knew nothing would happen.

"I never really got that saying, mostly because it's untrue more often than not. People inherently want to think that things work out in the end, but often find that they're convincing themselves that it worked out by pointing out a small event filled with joy that came out of it, but usually they're just lying to themselves. The overall situation, however, did not work out as the person had wanted or anticipated." If he kept this up, Taylor wasn't going to be the only one running out of the house just to get away from him. Heck, Emily may be encouraging, and then joining Taylor in that hotel room.

"Okay, if you're going to stay here, you really need to knock that off. Come on, I know you're hungry. What do you say you and I head to your favorite restaurant and get something to eat?" It was the least she could do after the she created a situation that was far more awkward than anticipated, not to mention emotionally difficult on Reid, what with finding out someone he's sexually attracted to wants nothing but to be far away from him.

"No offense, Emily, but I'm not really in the mood to go anymore. Thanks anyway. I think I'm just going to get a shower before your sister gets back, and then I'll figure out what I want to eat. Maybe I'll even order take out from the restaurant I like , like I was originally planning." And just like that Reid went from zero to insulting again.

Emily tried to shake it off, thinking it was suspicious for Reid to take a second shower that day, and surely hoping it wasn't being done just because of the way his sexual parts felt for her sister. She knew most likely it was, but he didn't realize it. He just knew he wanted a shower, but not the reason behind it. If he came out wearing some kind of cologne, she was pulling the plug on the whole thing, including looking at Reid like a normal, non animal like kid ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone! First off, I wanted to thank all of you who added my story to their favorites or put the story on their alerts. I completely appreciate it and am honored. I also want to thank my lone reviewer.

SSAFunbar – Thank you for the review! I have to start off by saying that I wish there was an FBI agent named SSA Funbar, and I wish I worked with them. I'd get nothing done and get fired, but it would so be worth it. Funbar is just, well, a fun name. I appreciate you taking the time to review!

I also assure all of you all that I am working on the third chapter for Dolls of the Night. This chapter is taking me a little longer for a few reasons. I didn't feel like I was writing Reid to the best of my ability, or as true to the character as I felt I could get, so I took some time to work on this side project as a way to work out all the kinks in the way I write Reid. I think it will benefit Dolls of the Night.

Also, it was my birthday this week, and that sounds like a much more lame excuse than it did in my head. I've been run ragged with activities and my health is definitely not happy about that. It's going to take me a little bit longer to get the chapter where I like it, but the story has not been forgotten or traded out for this one. This story was merely a self-exercise.

**Chapter 2**

**The Monsters Under Her Bed**

It was nearly three hours before Taylor returned to the apartment. She ate first, walked the streets second, and then returned with a takeaway bag when she was good and ready. She had to knock on the door, as she had not received a key on her way out. If she would have known what had gone on in the house since she left, she would have rethought this seemingly poor decision.

While Taylor was out, Reid never did get around to eating. What he did do was clean the living room, lifting up every little thing and dusting in the places where Emily hadn't had a chance due to her grueling job. He seemed to be meticulous, maybe even OCD about the whole thing. He even took a ridiculous amount of time picking out nicer, softer sheets for the pull out couch, and getting it ready for the nightfall that was coming quickly.

It was at this point that Emily decided to take some action. Nothing Reid was doing was conscious. It was just happening, which led her to believe that, although he thought he wouldn't know what to do when it came to putting the moves on a woman, unconsciously it was possible he very well could. She hadn't wanted to think of her sister and Reid as two random sociological statistics, but was being shown otherwise. Although she knew Taylor wouldn't cave, she didn't think Reid needed any more sexual confusion or rejection than he had already received in his life.

With this in mind, she decided to leave the house to drive to the nearest store and pick up a blow up mattress. She had a spare bedroom that she used as an office. It was tiny, so much so that the smallest of blow up mattresses would hardly fit in there, but in no way would it fit in her room at all, so she was working with what she had. She felt it best.

Taylor knocked on the door loud and hard, unhappy when it wasn't opened immediately. She had a short fuse and did not even want to go back in there. If it was just she and her sister, she would want nothing but to be in there. But it wasn't and she had to deal with Reid. She found herself feeling horribly for how harsh she was toward him, and although she doubted that would change, she promised to keep her guard up while trying to make an effort to not eat his head off again, even if he did deserve it.

Finally, the door was opened, but not by who she had expected. "Oh, it's you. Here, I brought you something." She shoved the takeaway bag into Reid's hands, and then pushed her way past him like it was nothing, not even a sweet gesture.

"Uh, thank you. What is it?" After her earlier attitude, he wasn't sure how safe it was to open it, or if he was misjudging her immensely and unnecessarily.

"It's pasta. I got at the Italian place around the corner. It was the only one I saw, so I assumed it was the same place you went to." Reid opened the box, walking toward the kitchen for some silverware. It wouldn't have mattered if it was or not at this point, because he had forgotten just how hungry he was until he smelled the food.

"It is, thank you. I can tell by the way it smells. Italian pasta has a more...you don't care about that. What do I owe you?" Afraid she might bite again, he figured he wouldn't push it and ask her why she had done it. She didn't seem to want to be forthcoming with anything she did, and while she was gone, he had accepted he wasn't going to understand her and made a conscience effort to bend to her liking. It wasn't his strong suit, though, and he was sure he'd slip up.

"What do you mean?" She turned from rooting through her things, looking for some pajamas she could wear to bed and call it a day, to glare at him so he knew he was playing with fire.

"How much did you pay for the pasta? I'd like to pay you back." Before he could eat, he knew it would be proper to hand her some cash. He started to get up to go for his wallet in his bag on the other side of the room when he was shut down.

"I don't want you to." Taylor struck out, offended. Even when trying to do something nice, he still condescended her. She decided to just ignore it and go talk to her sister, but she didn't see her downstairs, or hear her walking upstairs. "Hey, where's my sister?"

"She went to the store to get a blow up mattress to put in her office. I think she's uncomfortable with us sharing the pull out couch. She should be back in a little while. The traffic lights around here are on an unusually long timer due to the amount of traffic they receive during the day, but at night when it lightens, the timers stay the same. Since the closest store is exactly 4.3 miles from here, and she has to go through seven traffic lights, I estimate, depending on the time it takes her to shop, she will most likely be gone another hour, give or take a few minutes." Reid, pleased with himself for no longer being condescending, yet helpful, sat down to enjoy his food. Eating was easy, but getting rid of his defenses and stopping himself from using his intellect to cover up his insecurities was not.

"Fascinating. My sister finally grows a conscious and decides to give me a space away from you, but in order to do that she leaves me with you. I hate my life." This was the worst thing that could have happened. And even worse yet, she'd take her stuff up to the office, wherever that was, if she didn't have the horrible feeling that something was going to go wrong with her sister's new plan just because it could.

"Your entire life, or just this part of it? Because if you hate your entire life that could explain why you're mentally imbalanced. Don't get me wrong, I no longer think you're crazy, but it's not natural for someone to have such a gloomy outlook on the world unless given a reason. Hating your whole life would be a reason." Reid legitimately thought he was being helpful again. The only helpful thing here would be if he could see inside the minds of others. Hell, he could do just about everything else.

"Fine, then I hate my whole life." More than that, she hated the last few years and this conversation in general. She wasn't here on a pleasure trip, and he surely wasn't helping to make it pleasurable.

"Are you sure?" Reid stopped eating, looking up to study her as she stood there as if she wanted to do something with herself, but she just wasn't sure what.

"If that's what it takes to get you to shut up, then yes, I'm sure." Reid was stumped, not knowing what to say. He knew what he wanted to say, but his brain, almost as if it knew better, shut down for a moment. That moment was long enough for Taylor to catch her window. "I'm going to get a shower. Locking the door makes me feel trapped, so don't walk in on me or anything, or else I'll think you're a pervert."

"I'm not a pervert, actually. To be a pervert I would have..." Taylor took off for the bathroom, slamming the door shut before she was forced to listen to him rant. She couldn't take it any longer. Meanwhile, Reid sat offended.

As soon as the door was shut and her thoughts surrounding her with no way out the closed door, Taylor broke down, shoving her little body between the bathtub / shower combo and the toilet. She laid her head between her legs to pad some of the noise, and she cried as silently as she could. The last thing she needed was Reid busting in on her at the sound of her sorrow to make sure she was okay. He seemed the type, and even she couldn't think his helpfulness was perverted, but it still wouldn't stop her from telling him it was just to get him to back off of her. She needed Emily right now, not some high horsed genius. She knew it wasn't his fault and he couldn't help himself, but she couldn't help that she just wanted to smack him open-palmed over the head when he started talking.

Taylor must have sat on that cold bathroom floor for upwards of ten minutes. Just when the tear flow started to stem, she decided she would get into the shower. Slowly, she got up, starting the water and adjusting the temperature. When she was satisfied, she stripped down reluctantly. She had to turn away from the mirror flanking the opposing wall, as not to have to look at herself. That was one thing she couldn't do now.

Another was that she couldn't get totally naked. It was hard enough for her to take the essentials off, but she felt vulnerable without her undergarments. She still couldn't handle feeling that way after all this time, so she decided to leave them on. They would get wet, but she didn't care; it didn't matter. Not only could she not lock the door because she felt afraid and trapped, but there was a boy outside of that door, and it was hard enough to feel vulnerable alone. She came to Emily to help her cure this, to feel safe, and now she felt more horrible about herself than she had in awhile because of on stupid, completely harmless boy. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but he was still a boy, so the knowing became null and void when memories of fear took over. Taking her outside the toxic environment that broke her did everything but help her overcome her insecurities and fears. It was circumstantial.

Once in the shower, Taylor grabbed for a washcloth off the inner rack. She took to the half used body wash, hoping it was her sister's, but wondering if it belonged to Reid since it was already in the shower. She didn't care, though. It came from a bottle, untouched and clean on her body. She used more than she should, nearly the rest of it, and spent as much time as she could before the small water heater poured cold water over her body. Then she stayed in another ten minutes, scrubbing harshly, almost rubbing her own skin raw. It was all she could do to feel clean.

When she finally got out, she reached for a clean towel, and then began to go through the bottom of the sink to look for some cream for her agitated skin. Finding none should have been bad enough, but then it occurred to her when she went to grab for her pajamas, that she hadn't brought any in with her in her haste to get away from Reid's rant. The whole situation proved more than she could take, and she lost it again, only this time it was worse.

"Emily! Emily! EMILY! EMILY! EMILY!" Taylor screamed, louder and faster each time she called her sister's name. But no one was answering back; not at first, and then a knock at the door came.

"Taylor, she's not back yet." Reid's voice was soft, gentle, as now he was confirming any suspicions he previously had that there was something mentally wrong with her. It just wasn't in the chronic way that he thought.

"Why not?" She screamed, hatred in her voice. Not for Reid, but for the situation.

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry. But I can call her if you want, and tell her to come back." It was all he could offer up. Now, suddenly, he found himself regretting the decision to stay with Emily, but only because he hadn't realized what he was getting himself into. With as well balanced as Emily was, he expected her sister to be the same.

"Don't you dare!" She growled at him again. He jumped back a little, but ultimately calmed his nerves and talked himself out of treating her like an unsub. She wasn't acting this way because she had malice in her heart, but because she was scared. She'd be more likely to jump away from him than start a fight.

"Oh...okay. I just...can I help you with anything?" With no other option he could think of, and no other reason why she'd be viscously calling out to her sister, he offered up the last thing he had. Oddly, this seemed to calm her.

"I...I need some clothes. I left mine out there in my bag. And some cream. Do you know if my sister has any cream anywhere?" Her voice grew as soft as the tone Reid had initially used when approaching her through the door. She still hadn't opened it, but considering how thin they both already knew the walls were, they were each easily heard.

"I don't, but I have some. Here, let me get it for you." Reid quietly walked away, feeling more badly for her in each passing moment. He went to his bags first, reaching for his cream for her to have, and then walked over to her bags. There were several, and there was no good way to find out which one had her clothes in it without rooting through them all or asking. He chose the less invasive latter. "Taylor, I'm sorry, but which bag would you like me to bring you?"

"It doesn't matter." She had packed in a hurry, throwing so much of her life into those bags that she wasn't even sure herself where she had thrown it. She'd just take whichever one he picked up and wish for the best. For Reid's own sake, he picked the largest one, as it seemed most likely to hold clothing.

"Taylor, I have the things you've requested. I'm just going to leave them at the door. I wouldn't want to be a pervert or anything." Reid knocked once and then left the things just outside of the door.

"I'm sorry." Taylor couldn't let him get away. His job wasn't done, and as she heard his footsteps start to fade away, she called after him quietly.

"Excuse me?" Reid turned, not sure if he had quite heard what he thought he had. It was so quiet that he thought he could possibly be imagining it.

"I'm sorry for insinuating you were a pervert. But...I'm not done...I need your help still. I need you to hand my things in to me." Reid thought this an odd request, but also thought the better of arguing with her over it.

He walked back to the door, not sure if he should pop it open or not, because that would, by her definition, officially make him a pervert. Although she had just apologized for that, she may suddenly find herself compelled to take it back if he did, in fact, open the door. He didn't have to wait long to figure out what to do, as just as his footsteps stopped, she turned the knob and popped the door open herself.

He heard her scurry backwards, and saw not a site of her in the bathroom, not even in the mirror; not that he was looking. It was then he knew she was hiding behind the door, making sure there was no possible way for him to see her or touch her. He knew then that she wasn't mentally bothered or afraid because something was wrong with her, but because someone had done this to her. Things were finally starting to make sense, although there were still many unanswered questions that he wasn't sure it was his place to ask.

Without a word, he placed the things far enough inside the door so that the door could easily swing shut, but was careful not to place his head as far in the door so she knew he wasn't trying to look. For good measure, he even closed his eyes. If she was watching him through an angle in the mirror, she'd be able to see he was being respectful. She'd know there was nothing about him that was perverted. He was even as careful as to shut the door behind him.

Taylor waited until his footsteps stopped, and then debated for a hot second locking the door. She decided she still wasn't strong enough to conquer her own fears and do so. She dug through her bag first, finding herself a pair of black pajamas, some slippers, and another unmatching set of undergarments. She dried herself off as much as she could without taking off her undergarments, and then quickly took off first her bra, replacing it instantly with the other, and then her underwear, doing the same. She didn't like to be naked, even when she was the only one in the room.

Although she was dressed, another wave of panic quickly hit Taylor. Now that she had a wet pair of undergarments, what would she do with them with a man in the house? She did the only thing she could, and wrapped them tightly inside of her towel. Then, making sure she was completely covered, she tossed open the door. From where she was standing she couldn't see Reid, and not knowing where he was frightened her, so she called out to him. She didn't like surprises.

"Reid? Reid, where are you?" She paused for a moment, but when there was still no response, she began to panic like she had earlier when her sister didn't answer back, fearing she had been left alone. "REID!"

"I'm here. I'm right here, Taylor. I was just throwing out the box to my food and didn't hear you. I'm sorry. Is there something I can help you with?" She heard his voice before she saw his face peak around the corner of the kitchen.

"No. I just need to know where the washing machine is." She bit a little, glad he had answered back, but not happy about anything right now, especially not knowing where he was. She didn't feels safe this way.

"Umm...I really don't know. I haven't had to use it. Why?" Seeing as he was most likely in better shape than her socially, he began to drop his guard a little, making a full attempt to be more sociable and not use his intellect as a shield. She needed shielded more than he did from an evil he was unaware of.

"It's none of your business." Her voice stayed steady, not getting louder or quieter. There was no reason to yell. She was simply too tired.

"Taylor, I'd like to help you, but you have to stop snapping at me. It's not going to get you anywhere, and I'm not going to hurt you." Immediately, Reid knew he had taken the wrong approach with her and this was going to blow up in his face. He may be a profiler, but he was human, too. Just like everyone else.

"Says you!" This time her voice did raise, and she felt herself on the verge of tears again. She hadn't only wanted to be away from Reid because she was uncomfortable with an unknown male presence, but because she needed that alone time to allow her tears to run and eventually dry out.

"And I'm sure your sister has told you I'm harmless as well. If she's told you anything about me like you insinuate that she has, then you would know that. If you don't trust me, trust her." For the first time, even for just an instant, Taylor really looked at Reid, and directly into his eyes. He knew that he had her, and that she couldn't argue what he had just said.

"I just need to know where the washing machine is." This time her voice went soft, her eyes diverting away from Reid.

"I'll find out for you. Let me just open some doors and see if there's one in the unit." She nodded, unsure if Reid had seen her or not. It wouldn't have mattered if he had. He was already on the search. He felt bad snooping through someone else's house, but it didn't take him long to find something. "Taylor, do you need an actual washing machine, or just a place to store your dirty clothing?"

"Just a place to store my clothing." She was at the mercy of Reid if she was unwilling to leave her undergarments unattended in the bathroom and she knew it. It made her sheepish.

"There's a clothes hamper in the linen cupboard over here. Will that do?" She swallowed hard, feeling relieved.

"That will be fine." She turned to gather her things, making sure to pick up Reid's bottle of cream first.

"Would you like me to put the clothes in there for you?" To most people, it would have made sense that for a woman to not want a strange man handling her clothing. To Reid, it was just being nice.

"NO!" She snapped again, feeling no longer at Reid's mercy, only now she did feel a little guilty for taking things out on him. "Please go away now."

Reid obeyed. He didn't know that it wasn't that Taylor wanted him gone, but that she didn't want him to see what she had in her hands. She was hurting him; the object of his unconscious sexual affection treating him like nothing but a chew toy, something she could beat up and not care if she put it back together again. He knew, though, that it wasn't him that truly needed put back together again.

Taylor exited the bathroom, taking her undergarments wrapped in the towel, as well as the rest of her dirty clothing, and tossing it into the clothes hamper through the door that Reid had left open. Once she was sure everything was properly covered, that Reid couldn't see what she wore closest to her body, she walked over to where he was standing near the kitchen counter, unsure what else to do with himself, and carefully handed him his cream. "Thank you."

"Oh, you're welcome. I'm just going to set it back in the bathroom in case you need it again. You can feel free to use it." He hadn't quite expected that from her. She was hot and cold, and even as a profiler he couldn't predict her next move or mood.

"Thank you." Reid nodded, heading toward the bathroom she had just exited. "You must think I'm a bitch."

Reid stopped dead in his tracks, turning slowly to face her. She was full of surprises. "No. But I am curious as to why you only seem to wear black. I'm not expert in woman's clothing, but I do shop in stores that sell clothing of both sexes. It couldn't have been easy to find black pajamas. Usually women's pajamas are full of color and whimsy. It's...just an observation."

This was his underhanded way of trying to find out what was going on with her. No one wore all black unless they were going to a funeral, which she certainly was not doing. He knew lest he ask plain out, he would not be greeted warmly with an answer. He feared that he may have gone too far...again.

"It slims me." Instead of yelling, which he had half expected, she chose to become sarcastic again. He found he'd prefer that to her bite.

"But you're not fat. You don't need slimming." She was but a small girl, an observation he noticed early on. In order to hide his confusion over why she would have said that, he popped in the bathroom, setting the cream down, and then came back toward her, surprised she had still said nothing.

Instead of finding the words, she reached to him as he got nearer to her. He jerked back a little, not sure why she would want to touch him, but then convinced himself that he already knew she wasn't dangerous. Not that he really wanted to be randomly touched by someone he didn't know, but maybe it would help her.

He didn't know what he had expected from her, but it wasn't what she did. She reached up slowly, tussling his hair, a smile so faint crossing her face that he wasn't even sure he had seen it. It was gone just as quickly as her hand was, and he wasn't sure what to make out of it. He didn't have time to think it out, though, before she went to being gruff.

"So, FBI big shot, do you carry a gun?" Her tenderness changed in an instant, almost as if she had two personalities, although she didn't profile as someone who would be susceptible to that.

"At work." He was taken aback by her for what seemed like the millionth time tonight. Why would she ask that?

"So you don't have it with you now?" She seemed angry about this, no longer questioning him, but more like accusing him of being stupid for not keeping it with him.

"No. I don't bring the morbidity of work home with me. It's just a personal preference." Reid found work hard enough, and his nightmares even harder. The last thing he needed was to be staring down the barrel of a gun in his own home.

"Does my sister keep a gun in the house?" Surely Emily was smarter than him, she thought. She had to be. Who would become an FBI agent just to leave their gun at work? Just to not be able to readily protect themselves?

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably. She could." Come to think of it, he'd never seen her leave her gun in the desk drawer. They were permitted to carry their firearms home, as long as they brought them back for each shift.

"Are you a good shooter?" If anything would happen, if her worst fears would come true, she was now left knowing that her only hope might be this goon. Actually, that wasn't fair. He probably wasn't a goon. It still didn't stop her from thinking it.

"I wouldn't exactly say that, but I can hit the target if I have to, though it may take a couple of tries." It was never a secret that Reid's shot left a lot to be desired. No matter how much Hotch had worked with him, it still wasn't his strong suit. "I don't really like guns." He wasn't sure why he had said that. It just felt better to hide his own forthcoming by lying, but he didn't know why. He never felt the need to do it before.

"Great. Because that makes sense. I think you're missing the entire point of being an FBI agent." It was a little known fact that the reason Emily got into FBI wasn't only because she felt like it was her legacy, but because she felt she needed to protect herself and others from the monsters under the bed.

"Maybe, but I got into it to save people's lives, and I think I'm doing a pretty fair job of that." Reid was groomed for this job. With his intelligence, there was never another option for him. He got into it to help people because he felt like he had to, and that was the only reason for him. Sometimes one reason is all it takes.

"Whatever blows your skirt up. So, where does my sister keep her board games?" Taylor just needed something to keep her mind off of how much she felt as if she could cry, and how much she just wanted to be alone. Anything to put her into her own little world.

"I don't wear a skirt, and I don't know. As I said before, I haven't been here very long. I haven't had a reason to go rooting through her closets." Reid couldn't figure out why he was suddenly the expert on things in Emily's house. However, her having to ask let him know that this was her first trip to Emily's apartment. Why now?

"I'm sure they're somewhere. She and I played board games all the time when we were kids. Plus, my sister likes to throw dinner parties, and board games are great icebreakers." She didn't know if her sister still threw dinner parties, not with her schedule, but she knew what her sister used to like. The past five years had been a lot of phone calls and no visits. For some reason, there was never time.

Without a second thought, Taylor started rooting through her sister's closets and cupboards. It would make more sense for the board games to be downstairs where they were easily accessible if she had company over. For all she knew, maybe there were no board games, but she knew who her sister used to be and hoped. A little persistence paid off, as she found them in the bottom cupboard on the backside of the kitchen island, facing the living room. She pushed a few aside until she found one she liked, standing up with it.

"Ah, Go, that's a good game. Do you want me to help you set it up, and then we can get started?" Since virtually all board games were two players, Reid had only assumed her suggesting a board game was her way of telling him they would be playing one. He hadn't gotten much of a choice with her so far, so why start now?

"You're not going to play with me." She said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She wanted out of her head, not sitting face to face with the man she was still unsure of.

"You can't just play Go by yourself. That defeats the entire purpose of the game!" To Reid, this was ludicrous. She was nuts.

"Yes, I can. Watch me." She passed Reid with the game, never flinching, and then set it down in the middle of the open couch bed, and began to ready it for play.

"Excuse me, but if you're going to play a game all by yourself in front of the television, what am I supposed to do? I promised Emily I would stay on the lower level, and in case you haven't noticed, it's not that large of a space. I can't think of anything else that I could really do with myself." It wasn't that Reid was a fan of television, but there was really nothing else for him to do. He'd read a book, but he had failed to bring one in the haste to remove himself from his house, and Emily's either didn't interest him, or he had already read them.

"Take a shower." She didn't care if he did it or not. It was the only thing she could think to suggest.

"Why? Do I smell? Because I've already done that. But if I smell I can do it again." Suddenly Reid found himself subconscious again. He had taken a shower for a reason, even using just a little bit of cologne that Morgan had given him for his last birthday to "try and attract the ladies." He thought he smelled fine, but if he didn't, he would get clean again.

"Not my problem. Now shut up. I need to concentrate." She didn't bother to answer him. The suggestion was nothing if rhetorical. That's when she caught Reid out of the corner of her eye doing the exact opposite of showering, and lashed out. "What are you doing?"

"I'm putting your bags away. I already told you, I need something to do. And besides that, I don't really handle clutter well. It's nothing against you, but your bags are disturbing me by just sitting here." Taylor rolled her eyes as she made her first move. Only he would be bothered by a few bags in someone else's house.

"You've got problems." One of them was not shutting up when asked. The only way she would get him to would be to let him go and she knew this. At least then he'd be occupied.

"Oh, he knows. Don't worry." Both Taylor and Reid's heads shot up, surprised they hadn't heard the door being unlatched. With all attention on Emily, she saw this as her chance to do more than just pick on Reid. "I know I was gone forever. I'm sorry it took me so long, but I had to swing by the office."

"Why? We have the week off. There's not any work there." With Emily having been gone well over three hours, something was definitely suspicious. Even with the amount of red lights and shopping time included, it's likely she would have spent at least half of the alloted time at the office. She knew Taylor needed her, and without work to do, it simply made no sense.

"It's personal, Reid." She wasn't in the mood to get into it, so she cut him off his curiosity in its tracks, and then tried to change the subject. "What are you doing over there, Taylor?"

Emily smiled, happy that her sister was doing something to occupy her time, other than sulking or trying to hide from Reid. In a way, she was just surprised Taylor had come back so soon. She half expected her back late at night when she knew Reid would be in bed, and then she would sneak into Emily's room and wake her up for some girl talk.

"Playing Go." Although no one would shut up to let her, she wouldn't mouth off at her sister the way she would Reid. It was a simple question with a simple answer.

"Reid, why don't you play with her? You're good at Go." Emily set down her purchase on the kitchen counter, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm great at Go, but she doesn't want me to play with her." Reid expected a response back, but when she didn't immediately offer one up, he rebutted. "Why don't you let me help you set up that mattress. It looks like a two person job."

Emily was going to tell him it wasn't, but as soon as she looked into his face she could see what he was getting at. He wanted to talk. "Sure. We should probably do that now. It's getting late."

Taylor wasn't oblivious to what was going on. She knew they were going to talk about her, but eventually it had to happen. At least she could have the peace she craved for awhile so that she could play her game. Little miracles.

Reid and Emily left the room and went upstairs, Emily in the lead with her purchase in hand. As soon as they got up there and inside the office, Emily closed the door. Reid didn't waste a second.

"I know this really isn't any of my business, but I'm concerned about your sister. I take it she's not just here to visit. What happened to her?" Normally Reid wouldn't be so blunt, but considering the somewhat hostile situation he had been put into blindly when Emily's sister arrived, and ever since, he felt he was entitled to ask.

"I knew you would eventually catch on, but I'm sorry to say that I can't tell you." Part of Emily wished that Reid would figure it out on his own, between his profiling skills and psychology knowledge, and then use his gentle demeanor to put her back together again, without her realizing he was even helping her. Apparently, that was just a pipe dream.

"Why not?" Reid was indignant. He felt he had the right to know, although he had admittedly faked humility when he said it wasn't any of his business. He had been placed right smack dab in the middle of this, and felt that because of that, it was.

"It's not my story to tell. If she wants you to know, she'll talk to you." Taylor was never one to really talk to anyone but Emily, and even at times she hid things from her. She needed a friend her own age, outside of the family, and with Reid's sweetheart personality, he seemed like a shoo-in. If she was going to warm up to anyone, it would be him.

"It's unlikely." That may have been the understatement of the year. Every time she warmed up to him, she shut him back down.

"Maybe, but I can't betray her confidence. I know she's probably giving you a hard time, and I'm sorry for that, but she's been through a lot. Please try to understand." Emily knew what she had done was wrong. She shouldn't have knowingly put Reid in this position.

She was doing what was right for her sister, thinking it would help Reid's social inabilities, because Taylor always knew how to bring out the best in people, but maybe she had made a mistake. Maybe she had set Reid up to get chewed up and spit back out again. Maybe her sister was no longer able to be the person she once was. Maybe what had happened to her had ruined everything beautiful about her.

"I am, but she's making it rather difficult." He was wrong. This was the understatement of the year. The prior was just the understatement of the month.

"I figured and I'm sorry. She can be a pistol sometimes." Taylor always had that straight-shooter attitude about her, but normally it just existed to cover up her sweet side, the side she thought would be taken advantage of if she showed it too much. Now, though, may have been different. "Look, why don't you go back downstairs and just sit with her, watch television, do whatever you want without interrupting her immediate space. She won't appreciate it, but it might help just knowing you're there. She may have acted like she was okay with the two of us leaving her alone, but she's not. I also know that she's not going to want to sleep alone, as much as she's threw a hissy fit about it. She's just bothered to have to share a bed with a boy, when she was hoping to share one with me."

"Then why did you go get her the blow up mattress if you knew she wasn't going to use it?" Reid was beginning to think these people were just crazy. Maybe not certifiable, but he'd probably never look at Emily the same way again. Her believing in the story of the fallen star was one thing, but this was a real life other.

"So that she knew she could be alone if she needed to, and have her own space. And because you're probably going to need it." Reid had slept in a lot of odd places on cases, and in a lot of weird positions, including curled up on the couch in his mom's room at the sanatorium, and in various places on the plane, but this was ridiculous. There was no way that thing was going to be comfortable, or he was going to fit on it without falling off, or lying in a position that could permanently deform his back. The thing was made for a girl, not a tall man.

"Why? You just said she wasn't going to want to be alone. The both of you can't fit into your bed. That just leaves me to stay with her. I can't be two places at once, and you're setting up the mattress up here, not in the living room." Reid couldn't wrap his mind around this kind of illogical logic. Who was this person he had worked with for the past several years?

"Not exactly. She's going to need me sooner or later tonight. I'll probably end up sleeping on the pull out couch with her, and you'll end up in here. No offense, but I really don't want you sleeping in my bed."

"Why not? Do I smell? I smell, don't I?" Then he lifted open his shirt, stuck his head in it, and smelled. Emily didn't get him either. Maybe they should really draw the line at inviting each other to stay at their houses. It was very awkward.

"I don't know, Reid. I'm not going to smell you." She was already close enough to him that she figured she'd smell a stench coming off of him, but all she smelled was cologne. Reid's idea of a reasonable amount of cologne and everyone else's was not the same. She'd have to have a talk with Morgan about teaching Reid how much cologne to properly put on if he was going to buy it for him.

"Your sister told me to get a shower, so she must think I smell. And then you go and say that. I already showered, but I'll do it again if I have to." Without waiting for an answer, Reid got up to go back downstairs and shower again. He had convinced himself of something and was now in his own world.

"Reid! Reid! Hey, Reid, stop where you are. You probably don't need to shower again. Most likely Taylor was just trying to get rid of you for awhile so you would stop talking, and I just don't like people sleeping in my bed. It's just a thing. It was nothing against you. I promise." His face changed and he seemed to calm down. Would now be a bad time to tell him he could take a wash cloth and get some of that cologne off? Probably. She would refrain. If it was as bad as she thought it was, Taylor would let him know.

"You know, that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better." Rarely was Reid outright complimented, so it was easier for him to take something as an insult, than to realize that it was just a personal preference for someone. Knowing this, Emily tried again.

"Well, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. But do you know how many germs can be passed from one person to another just by sleeping in their bed?" She was winging it, but she had to figure that having one's body curled up inside of someone else's sheets couldn't be healthy for either party. It was bad enough when it was a romantic choice, but another when it was a co-worker. That was just a little creepy and too close for comfort for her.

"Actually..." Emily put her hand up, exhaustedly cutting him off. He hadn't stopped doing that since last night. He truly was a lot to handle, even in a social setting.

"Don't answer that. I forgot you would actually know that. Why don't you just go downstairs and do something...anything with yourself. I'm going to stay up here and finish up the bed, and then get myself ready for bed. If you need me, just yell." She hoped no one needed her, at least not Reid. Her sister was one thing, but he was a grown man who was unrelated to her. Somehow, she thought she'd be more likely to hear from him first. In fact, before he even got out of the room, he opened his mouth to say something, but Emily caught him. "Just go."

Reid headed back down the stairs, feeling uncomfortable. Since Emily told him he could watch television, and she was the owner of the house, that's what he was going to do. However, once he was halfway down the stairs, he could see that Taylor had entered a new state of mind. Instead of sitting there quizzically playing Go, she seemed angry. Maybe this wasn't such a change from what he had been getting out of her, but mostly she had just been acting hurt.

"Are you...all right?" Reid got closer to her, intending on sitting on a chair adjacent to where she was placed. He probably shouldn't have asked, but it just came out.

"No! I'm stuck! How stupid do you have to be to not be able to play a game of Go against yourself?" What Reid saw as anger was really frustration. He also saw she had at least a half dozen moves she could make, and in a clear state of mind, could imagine she probably would. It wasn't that she was stupid, or a bad player, but whatever was making her so bottled up was injuring her ability to concentrate on a game that was nothing but.

Reid was going to say something, but he didn't know what to say. She had told him before his genius was condescending, and he didn't want to act that way by telling her he could help her. Although he meant well, she could interpret it incorrectly, and he didn't want to come off as offensive. So there they sat, him in all his awkwardness, and her in complete frustration, trying to figure out why she was too stupid to be able to play a game against herself. What was wrong with her? Finally, unable to take it anymore and determined to finish something since her world went dark, she turned to Reid to break the silence.

"So, Genius, you said you were great at Go." She turned to him, looking him in the eyes for only the second time since they'd met. He took her smart ass comment as a scared little girl asking for help in the only way she knew how.

"I am. And I think if you take the black game piece and move it over to here, you should have plenty of space to continue the game." Not ready to admit defeat quite yet, although she already had, she snapped back.

"What if black doesn't go next." Reid was unfazed.

"It does. I can tell by your board." At first Taylor was taken back, but her brain caught up with her quickly, and she stared at him in disbelief.

"You are good." She snorted, finally seeing these alleged talents that her sister had told her about. He was border lining on being Rain Man.

"It comes with being a genius, I guess." He had always been good at certain things. Chess was something he had to learn to be better at, but once you've see the whole board in every way possible, every other game seemed simple.

"So, Genius, what other games are you good at?" He couldn't be good at everything. Emily said he was, but he would have to prove himself to Taylor. She wasn't as easy going as Emily.

"Chess, poker, mostly anything strategic." She nodded, smirking. She liked a challenge, and it sounded like he was giving her one. But because she was lacking any control in her life, she needed to do things her way.

"How about Monopoly?" It had been a long favorite of her sister's and herself for many years. Since the game was strategic as much as it was luck, and Reid was new to it, he was either going to be good at it, or she was going to pummel him. Being the reigning champ from Emily's and her last game that lasted nearly three days, she was fully prepared to take no prisoners.

"What's Monopoly?" She cackled out loud and not at all on purpose. She hadn't realize there was anyone left on this earth that didn't know what Monopoly was.

"Ahaha! Perfect! Go get it and I'll show you!" It was going to be a very long night, but for the first time in awhile, without even realizing it, Taylor's mind wasn't on what happened to her or why she was there. And Reid's wasn't on being uncomfortable or self conscious. Maybe Emily's plan was working just the way she hoped it would, and when everyone least expected it.


	3. Chapter 3

I just want to start out by saying that there are completely delightful people on this board. So delightful, in fact, that I passed delighted miles back. Your words, support, and adding this story to your favorites has given me the warm and fuzzies. Those are still awesome, right?

This chapter will be a little more Emily centric than Reid centric, however, it starts to unravel what happened to Taylor, and gives you all a better understanding as to why she bites so hard. This will also come in useful in the next chapter.

And I feel like a loser for having to say this again, but I am still working on Dolls of the Night. I didn't intend for this chapter to take so long. I have the plot mapped out, but I hit a snag when it came to realizing that, because of the way the BAU operates and the things they would have to ask Lo, it would force some things to come out a little sooner than I wanted them to, which means I have to be careful about how I arrange things. There will be a big reveal in this story, but I don't want to give it away too soon. I'm taking a break to proofread this, and then go back to it with a clear head. It's basically done, but I just have to figure out how happy I am with the way it unraveled and go from there.

Also, if general updates get a little sparse, I am having issues with my internet via the neighbor girl who keeps trying to hack my wireless. It's causing me all kinds of issues, so much so that I can't always use my own internet. If I disappear, thats why, but I'll be back, possibly with the help of the police. And, to add to the fun, I think I mentioned before that I'm having medical issues. I'm having a flair up, so sitting up for any amount of time to type properly...not happening. I'm a barrel of monkeys, folks.

Phasha18 – Thank you for the review, my friend! I can totes picture it, too. It made me laugh, so it totally had to go into the story. (This could get dangerous if those are my guidelines.)

KateEatsCake – Thank you for the review! Let me start by saying that I, too, love cake, so your name made me giggle in the good way, and end with thanking you for your wonderful compliment on the story!

SSAFunbar – Thanks for the second review, and thank you! I have the last chapter all lined up, but I haven't totally finished it yet because I'm waiting to re-read these chapters and make sure I have it plotted and designed how I want it exactly. I doubt there will be more chapters, but if I can't figure out my little dilemma in Dolls of the Night, it's always possible I will write something just to keep my Reid writing skills fully in tune. It took me about five different rewrites to figure out a game that I thought he would not really know about, and also not know how to play, but could still try to insert logic into. You'll see how that comes into play in this chapter.

Spark17 – Thanks for the wonderfully long review! Oh my goodness, I'm sorry I guilted you into reviewing. I promise I wasn't trying, although I completely appreciate your review! I'm glad you like the story! I initially wasn't even going to post it, but it's awesome people like you that make me glad I did. I also appreciate your comment about having Reid and Prentiss done pretty well, because that is totally what I was trying to do when working on this little exercise of a story, so it means a lot to me when someone tells me that I am successful! (Here come the warm and fuzzies again.) At times, I think I forget Reid has the ability to bite or come across as cranky because of his social unawareness, but in those moments of clarity it's what made me decide to have Taylor push his buttons. This chapter will break the cycle of Taylor's abuse in a way that ends with Reid being the more fired up party. It will also start to get into a little more about what happened to Taylor. Hopefully, you will like Taylor when you get to know a little more about her. Also, I think I would one hundred percent love to see Reid go balls out when he meets a girl who is cute on the show, and kind of just tell everyone he's attracted to her and go about his merry way. I think that's what inspired him to say what he did to Emily.

**Chapter 3**

**A Chip In the Armor**

Emily must have been more tired than she thought. After she got out of the shower, she sat down on her bed for what was supposed to be just a few minutes, and instead ended up falling asleep. Since she fell asleep in her towel, she was glad no one had come up to check on her, especially not Reid.

When she was awoken at half past three in the morning, she immediately panicked, worried because she had fallen asleep, and concerned about what could be happening. Then she listened for a moment and realized she had been woken by what sounded like laughter. More specifically, Taylor's laughter. She was surprised, to say the least, but didn't want to count on anything. She lay awake in her room, quiet, trying to figure out what was going on downstairs and why her sister would still be awake, laughing alone. Then another sound caught her ear.

"You cheated!" She listened in, concerned about the tone in Reid's voice. Then she heard her sister laughing like a little girl.

"I did not! It's not possible to cheat at Candy Land!" Taylor countered back in a voice that sounded just as heated, but it only took her moments to realize that it was not. It was playful. She hadn't known Reid well enough to know that he really was flabbergasted.

"But you won five games in a row! I've won zero!" This time Emily giggled. She'd never known Reid to lose at anything. There was a lot to hate about him.

"Yet you kept playing with me. That will be five candy bars." Emily just kept smiling, happy that her sister was finally sounding lighthearted about something, and possibly opening up to someone. It was small, and she was only doing it because she was winning, but it was something. Taylor wasn't relying on her, and had done just fine while she had slept.

"But...I want those candy bars!" Emily was imagining Reid on the playground, arguing with kindergartners over candy at his age, because that was a lot like what this sounded like. And Reid would do that.

"You're the one who said we should play for candy. Hand over my candy. They were Emily's to begin with." Both Emily and Taylor had quite the sweet tooth. Unfortunately, she had forgotten Reid did, too. He must not have eaten any yet, or he would probably be locked in the bathroom.

"That's when I thought we were playing something I was going to win!" Reid was always a sore loser, most likely because no one ever taught him how to lose, because he never did, unless it was to Gideon. No one had to.

"Let's see, we tried to play Monopoly, and you were winning that, but we had to stop because you couldn't get over how the prices of the properties were impossibly inaccurate. We moved on to Life, where you insisted that I cheated. Which, by the way, was also impossible, because Life is a game of chance. We moved on to Candy Land, a game for small children, just to prove to you that I didn't cheat, and that's when you decided to bet candy in honor of the game. You lost your candy and now it's mine. And are you saying it's okay to take my candy, but it's not okay for me to take yours?" Emily heard them word for word, trying to stifle her laughter because she knew they would hear it. It wasn't that she was laughing too loudly, or they were yelling, although it was a playfully heated conversation, but noise traveled in her house.

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" This time Emily full out lost it into her pillow. That was exactly like Reid to say that. Now she knew she had to quietly get a glimpse of this. Reid, so serious and beside himself, and her sister, not realizing this and playing back just as hard.

"You're a sore loser." Emily giggled again, wishing she had a video camera to show this to the rest of the team when break was over. No one was going to believe he actually lost to anyone but Gideon, and at anything as ridiculous as Candy Land. Hell, it'd be hard for them to believe he had even dumbed himself down to playing Candy Land.

"That's because I never lose." Emily reached the top of the stairs, peaking her head around the wall just in time to see her sister raise an eyebrow. "Okay, I've lost at chess to an agent that used to be on our team, but that doesn't count."

"It does count, and get used to it!" Reid gasped. It looked hilariously dramatic until you realized that it actually was and that was just Reid. It was kind of sad, really.

"No! I refuse!" He said this as if it were so preposterous of her to suggest such a thing.

"Too bad! I rule, you drool!" Although Taylor was acting completely childish, hers was in a joking manner. Reid's was not, and it was laughable. Emily was unsure she had seen either connecting with anyone outside of their very small comfort zone before now.

"I do not drool, and I detest that saying!" Once again, Reid took the saying literally, wiping his mouth. He heard the saying, he just couldn't generalize it.

"I rule, you drool. You fool, you drool!" Emily got slightly careless with her laughter, and quickly tried to cover it up, but it was too late.

"Emily, make it stop! Tell her I don't have to give her my candy bars!" Emily wasn't surprised Reid had seen her. He had probably knew she was standing there the whole time. Reid was good for that.

"Reid, you're lactose intolerant and those are pure milk chocolate. You'd be doing yourself a favor to just hand over your candy bars." Reid was unpleasant when in digestive distress. And if he made her house unlivable because of it, he would be staying at some hotel. Any hotel. It didn't matter. He knew better.

"But they're my candy bars!" As was shown by the way he had them sitting next to him, but as far away from Taylor as possible. He was being possessive.

"Technically they're mine, and again, they have chocolate in them. Chocolate is made from dairy. Do yourself a and your digestive system a favor. I don't have any antacids in the house." Reid sighed, knowing he was going to be in for a very long night if he downed them.

"Fine." Reluctantly, he handed the candy to Taylor, but not before he tried to pull it away from her before her hands could take it. She was too fast for him, though.

"Thank you. Now, I think it's time for the two of you to go to bed. It's 3:30 in the morning." Not that this wasn't funny, but Reid was cranky without his sleep. She didn't know how Taylor would act, but being as she had been generally miserable, no sleep couldn't be good.

"I don't think you can really tell us when to go to bed. We're adults. We don't have a bedtime." Stunned, Emily tried to hold in her laughter. She didn't know if she should be amused, upset, or offended.

"Are you talking back to me, Reid?" It wasn't that Reid never talked back, but she had only known him to do it when he was under the influence of Diladid, or didn't realize otherwise.

"I don't know. Maybe." Nope, he definitely knew exactly what he said.

"Reid!" Now Emily had to really control her laughter. It was interesting to watch his own face as he debated exactly what he had meant by that. He said it so absolutely, though.

"He's right." Taylor spoke a little more timidly, but she, too, knew exactly what she was saying.

"Oh, don't you gang up on me, too. I don't want to be the bad guy here." This wasn't what she had in mind when she wished for Reid and Taylor to get along, not what she had in mind at all.

"You're not. It's just...I...I don't know if I can sleep. It's not that I don't want to, but every time I close my eyes... Have you found out anything yet?" The pure thought of darkness sent shivers through Taylor's spine. She was exhausted. She wanted to sleep. She couldn't, not unless she wanted night terrors and tears.

"Not yet. I got my boss to sign off on an official letter today requesting they send us the video footage so that Garcia can run it through her facial recognition program. I'll check the office tomorrow to see if it arrived." Reid stood quiet for a moment, listening and observing actions, profiling his own friends. Whatever happened went far past any magnitude he could have thought. He wondered why Hotch was allowed to know without knowing Taylor, when he wasn't. He wanted to help, too.

"They've tried that already." Taylor knew this was the first thing that was done, but no one could make out anything clearly enough to run it through the system.

"Yes, but not with Garcia's program. If he's done anything wrong ever in his life that put his mugshot into any criminal system, she'll find out who he is." Garcia could do things no other law enforcement tech could. She had complete faith the program would give Emily the evidence she needed to help her sister.

"It's been so long. Will it even matter?" Nearly six months had passed since the incident that left her completely broken. She lived in fear every day, but the case was most likely cold by now.

"Yes, it will matter. It's only been as long as it has because I needed to legally clear this with my boss, but I had to wait until you were here and better so that we could move on it immediately if we got any leads. We're going to need you to positively identify the person and to be a witness in court. You couldn't in the position you were in." Reid's curiosity was growing, but the women had made it clear that it was personal, and he was not to ask too many questions when it came to Taylor. If she wanted him to know what was going on, she'd tell him herself, just like Emily had said. He tried to observe and keep his mouth shut, but it was difficult.

"Emily, can I watch a movie?" Reid watched Taylor's demeanor change; how she went from the facade of a stronger woman earlier today, to needing to lean on Emily and act like a child. If she began to trust Reid, it's likely she would lean on him, too.

"I would rather you sleep, but considering the circumstances, sure. The DVDs are in the bottom drawer of the television stand. Reid, if you're ready to go to sleep you're welcome to the blow up mattress upstairs." Emily watched Taylor's reaction to this just as hard as Reid did. Then Emily waited to see if Reid was as predictable as she thought.

"No, I'm okay, actually. Thank you. I think I'd like to watch a movie, too, if Taylor doesn't mind." And like that knight in shining armor, the dorky, non confident one who was still finding himself, he swooped in and chose not to leave Taylor alone, seeing as that's what she needed, just like Emily thought he would.

And also just like Emily thought, he lied, playing it off like he wasn't exhausted and it was his choice. Looking at Taylor, Emily knew that even she could see right through it, but she had gained respect for Reid and a little more trust since he had done so, and never spoke a word otherwise.

"All right you two. Just keep it down so I can sleep, okay?" Both nodded obediently, like two little kids, while Emily went back upstairs to sleep.

Nearly immediately after hitting the pillow, Emily fell back to sleep. It was all the better since she had her alarm set for the same time it would be set for when she had to go into work. That was because she was going into work tomorrow, first thing, to catch Garcia before she got into the bump and grind of the day. Unlike the rest of the team, Garcia didn't get the same week long vacation. She would be there just like she was every other work day, and if she got too into what she was doing, it would be difficult to break her concentration. Emily just hoped the video files were there in the morning.

It seemed as if she had barely laid her head down when her alarm went off. She got up surprisingly fast, this hour seeming a natural time to awake. She quickly hit her alarm so that it wouldn't wake the hopefully sleeping pair downstairs. She didn't want to go down there until she had to and risk either waking them up, or find out they were still awake and get further waylaid. She would make as little noise as possible, the least often as possible.

She scurried around to get ready carefully, glad she had showered the night before. She put on casual clothing, as she wouldn't be going into the office just to leave on a case again. Her business there wasn't as official as Hotch's signature had made it seem. She was welcome to find the information she needed on her own time since the team had not invited in, although she was permitted to use Garcia whenever she could catch her.

Clothed, beautified and ready for the day, she grabbed her purse and set off quietly down the stairs, deciding to grab a bagel from her favorite coffee shop on the way in, rather than make breakfast and disturb Reid and Taylor. She peaked around the corner and immediately saw the pair was asleep, however, she couldn't quite believe her eyes. She tiptoed down the stairs, not wanting to wake them, so she could get a better look, and make sure it wasn't glasses that she needed.

On the television, the DVD menu played on repeat, indicating they had fallen asleep during the movie and it reverted back to the menu. That wasn't the surprising thing. And what was surprising was not just that Taylor seemed to be sleeping soundly, almost peacefully, but the way she was sleeping. Both Reid and Taylor were on the pull out couch like they had been when they woke her up at three thirty. And just like then, Candy Land was still sprawled out in the middle of it.

But then there was Taylor and Reid, both scrunched up at the top part of the couch. Reid was wedged between the pillows against the back of the couch and the arm of the couch. Taylor was lying with her body against his, her head on his chest with a blanket around her. From the looks of it, she had fallen asleep first, cozying herself into Reid for either protection, or she fell that way, and he, not wanting to disturb her, or for her to be cold, placed a blanket over her and then fell asleep himself.

Emily's first instinct was to wake her and make sure she realized what she was doing, and that she was comfortable with that. Then again, she knew once her sister came to trust Reid, she would cling to him fast. She was just looking for someone, anyone, outside of what she was used to to cling to after what she'd been through. She was desperate for that. She needed that. She needed someone unbiased to tell her story to from the start, and someone who wouldn't judge. Reid was all of those things. Taylor could be that back to him. She was just hoping they would both see it, but mainly that Taylor would let her guard down so she could realize it, and Reid could see it. It helped that Emily trusted him. It allowed her to let her guard down just enough that he could slide in without trying, and she hoped it worked the opposite way, too.

On the way out the door, she grabbed her keys, confident that Taylor wouldn't be in an uproar in her absence if she did happen to wake up before she got back, and that she wouldn't give Reid such a hard time today. Maybe she'd even accidentally boost his confidence on purpose. If leaving them alone for the little bit of time she had yesterday, judging by the wonders it did, today could only be a good thing.

After her morning pit-stop, she found her way into the office. She walked through the bullpen and back the hallway to where she knew Garcia would be. Something told her today would be lucky for her. She hoped that feeling was right, because God knows her sister needed the peace of mind.

"Good morning, Garcia." Emily spoke casually, not wanting to point out the unusual factor of her being there. She knew Garcia would focus on it enough.

"Is that my favorite female profiler I hear? Sugar, what are you doing here? It's your week off. You're supposed to do anything but come into work. Should I make you a cheery reminder memo?" Garcia must have just gotten in, her computers still booting up. While they did that, she went for her bright pink Post-it notepad.

"That won't be necessary. I'm actually not here for work purposes. I'm here to see you to ask a personal favor." Garcia's face turned serious as she looked away from her fuzzy pen to Emily.

"Sure. Anything. Hit me with it." Just that quickly she refocused herself to her monitors. She was ready to work.

"Hotch signed off on a request for a surveillance video from the Chicago Police Department. I was wondering if you got it yet." Garcia's hands were typing before she even started talking.

"Give me one minute and I will check." It didn't take her a minute. She had it nearly instantly. "Yep, I've got it right here. What am I doing with it?"

"I need you to run the unsub through your facial recognition program. Chicago PD tried, but came up empty." Garcia clicked on the link to the video, allowing it to download onto her computer.

"Ah, but they're not me." Garcia was sure of herself, but with every reason to be. She quickly opened the video and began to watch it, unaware of the horrors it held. She had seen a lot of things, but surely nothing like this.

"Exactly." As curious as Emily was, she didn't know if she actually wanted to see the video. She couldn't take her eyes off of it, though.

"Oh...oh my God! Oh my God! I...I thought you said this was personal." Garcia hit the stop button on the video quickly, unable to watch any more. She backed it up to the best angle of the unsub's face, and pretended she hadn't seen the rest.

"It is. The girl in the video is my sister." Garcia began a facial recognition search, and then turned to Emily.

"Oh my God, Emily, is she okay?" Garcia's mouth hung open, unable to hide her shock. It was bad enough to see a video this graphic, this violent, but to learn the person in it was nearest and dearest to her nearest and dearest was a whole other ball game. To her, this was nearly as bad as seeing Reid on that screen, beaten and broken after being kidnapped.

"Physically, but not mentally. Not yet. She's staying with me until I know she's safe." Garcia resisted the urge to hug Emily, but mostly because, by now, Emily was seated beside her and it would be awkwardly difficult.

"I'm so sorry. Do you mind if I ask how long ago this was?" Garcia knew she would not be able to get the image out of her mind soon. She could imagine it was a billion times worse for the victim.

"Almost six months." Violence was one thing Garcia didn't understand. She always saw the good in people, and knew that Emily was one of the best. Why would anyone do this? Emily wondered the same.

"Oh, Emily. Is there anything you need? Is there anything I can do to help? I'm sure I can take a few days off if you need me. Kevin is fully trained..." Emily cut her off before she got into one of her rants. She was already out of her chair and grabbing for her coat.

"Just this, thank you." Emily reached her hand out to stop Garcia from her frenzy. Garcia almost looked disappointed when she realized she wasn't needed, but if this was what Emily thought she could do best, it's what she would do.

"Of course. You know, this could take awhile. You should go be with her." Garcia could do three people's jobs at once. It wasn't fair to make Emily stay where she wasn't needed.

"She's at my house with Reid. I know she's safe, so I'd rather wait here to see if you find anything, if you don't mind." Emily was caught between a rock and a hard place. She had promised she'd be there for her sister, however, she felt the only way to help her was to catch the bastard who had harmed her, which meant she'd do more good here. From what she had seen this morning, she hoped that, as long as she was with Reid, she would be okay.

"Sure, but I have some other work to do while this runs its search. I might not be a lot of fun." Emily chuckled. If there was anyone she could count on for fun, it was Garcia, which was also another reason she didn't want to leave. She just didn't like the admit that reason.

"Oh, Garcia, you're always fun." Emily reached out and shoved her arm lightly. If Garcia couldn't lighten up, neither could she, and she needed that right now.

"True, but today I have to file all kinds of paperwork that JJ would have normally done. You know, I thought I'd enjoy doing her job more, but the paperwork isn't so delightful. It's like it breeds. One little piece turns to seven, and before I know it I'm buried in it." Garcia didn't like paperwork, at least not the kind on actual paper. If it was something she could do through her system, she would appreciate it more, but this was actual, physical paper.

"I'd be happy to help you with it." It kept Emily's hands busy, and gave her something to do.

"And I'd be happy to accept that help, but you're not even supposed to be here. I'm not going to make you work on your week off. Sit. Stay. Here, play with my Bop-It." Emily took the contraption out of Garcia's hands and laughed, and then set it back down on the desk. It was just like Garcia to have this in her office.

"And I'm not going to let you do this all yourself. Hand it over. You just focus on finding the unsub from the video. He looks young, so maybe you could check some online yearbooks from the Chicago area and see if you get a match while you're checking the criminal databases." Emily had yet to see the video, but now that she had, the first thing that struck her about the unsub was something Garcia would most likely not have noticed.

The unsub seemed young, which was obvious to the naked eye, but what wasn't were his movements, the way he presented himself. With everything put together in her mind, she had an inkling that he may be a high school student. It didn't give her any idea as to the motive, but her profiling skills may have helped them ID him just a bit quicker.

Garcia went to work, focusing in her own little world. Emily started to go through a bunch of paperwork that she thought would make more sense to her than it did. What JJ had done was obviously out of her league. She didn't realize how different filing case files and reports was from JJ's having to cover everything they didn't. She didn't realize there was that much else to cover. She tried as best as she could to make heads or tails out of what she was doing, but she was failing miserably. Luckily, before she had a chance to admit this to Garcia, Garcia spoke up.

"Emily..." Her voice was hesitant. "I searched some yearbooks and found someone who I thought looked like the unsub. I put the yearbook picture into my facial recognition program and ran it against the video. My program says it's him. It's a positive match."

Emily moved her chair closer to Garcia to get a good look. "Can you print that out for me? I want to take it back to my sister for an ID. She said she saw his face, but she was never able to describe it to anyone. She kept questioning herself, but I think she was just afraid. If I can get her a picture, then I can tell by her reaction if it's the right person or not."

"Sure. Just so you know, his name is Dante Rogue. He's seventeen as of last week, and he lives in Evanston. I hope he's the right guy and the police can catch him." The paper printed out and Garcia reached for it, handing it to Emily.

"Me, too, Garcia. Thank you for this." Emily took it from her and looked it over. Maybe her sister could finally find enough peace to pick up all the pieces.

"Sure. Keep me posted, okay? And tell your sister I send my condolences, and if either of you need anything, you know where to find me. I'm cooler than Reid. Don't forget that." Emily laughed as she grabbed her own jacket and headed for the door.

"Oh, believe me, I won't. Have a good day." She waved as she left

"You too." Garcia called after her, left to feel empty and sad inside that anyone would do something like that. She hoped Emily was handling things okay, as she really didn't ask about her.

Emily began to head home, wondering what Taylor and Reid were doing, and if they were even up yet. If she would have known the conversation going on back home, she probably would have driven faster to get there.

Reid had woken up around an hour ago, before Taylor. He had never woken up with a woman before, regardless of the situation. He wasn't sure what the proper protocol was, and being as backward as he was, he decided to just sit there until she woke up. He didn't know how much time he had to waste, so he began to occupy his mind with anything he could. One was paying more attention to Taylor than he knew he should have, but she was beautiful to him. She'd never have to know he was watching her sleep, and he'd never have to be embarrassed about it.

This would have worked out well if Reid hadn't made one fatal mistake. He got so interested in her that he decided to touch her. It wasn't inappropriate, he was just moving the hair out of her face, but he woke her. She moved a few times, twisting and turning, before fluttering her eyes open and seeing where she was. She quickly sat up, pulling her shirt down over her arms, but not before Reid got a look at them. This, of course, ruined his "good morning."

"Does your sister know you cut yourself?" Most people would have tried hard not to say that, but not Reid. He saw the deep marks on her wrists and jumped right in.

"I would hope so. She's the one who worked to bust me out of rehab and fly me out here so that I'd be away from Chicago." Quickly, Taylor moved to get off of the couch and away from Reid. She would make herself some tea and remember to put on shirts that would hopefully not betray her like this one had.

"What's in Chicago that's so bad?" That was the most she had given Reid about what happened, and he wanted to know more. Maybe if he caught her once she had just gotten up and her guard wasn't fully up yet, she'd give him a little something.

"What the hell happened to you that makes you want to throw your insecurities on me? You're only confident when you're pointing out how I'm not." The problem with Reid that Taylor didn't know was that you didn't ask him something with the intention of getting him to shut up. He didn't get that. He'd answer instead.

"My dad left me to take care of my schizophrenic mom when I was child. I had to act in her welfare and commit her to a sanatorium against her will when I turned eighteen. I was harassed all through school for being the youngest one in all my classes. Then I joined the FBI to make something out of myself, and ended up getting kidnapped and tortured. That developed into a drug problem..." Taylor cut in, unable to take the pain he was resonating on top of her own.

"Someone made me feel ugly, so I made my body look as ugly as I felt. Besides that, it helped with the emotional pain." Every little scar she made only became a reminder of what happened to her, instead of a way to help her forget. There was nothing beautiful left.

"But you're not ugly. You're beautiful, and you shouldn't let anyone else make you feel like you're not. I don't know what happened to you, but I have a degree in psychology, and if you trust me, then I would like to help you. I would suggest going to a licensed professional, but you don't seem like the type who's going to trust a stranger, and I don't think I'm a stranger to you anymore." In fact, he already knew by her body language that she was starting to trust him.

If she wasn't, she would have made a point to sleep as far away from him as she could, even if she stayed in the same room so she wasn't alone. Instead, she sat close to him, therefore falling sleep on him. And she slept almost six straight hours without nightmares, something that she didn't seem to think she'd be able to do last night.

"I'm not. And I know you were watching me sleep, so I don't know if I should believe a creep." Taylor was hanging by a string, trying to shove anything she could back at him. The only thing she hated worse than talking about what happened to her, was letting anyone in.

"I'm not a creep. I woke up before you and didn't want to wake you by moving. You were the only beautiful thing to look at, so...I looked at you. I didn't mean to offend you." Reid couldn't believe that had just come out of his mouth. Although it was true, he was normally more bottled up when it came to the ladies. But this felt okay.

"You didn't." She was so quiet, over running the water into the tea kettle, that he was unsure he had heard her. He thought for a minute, and knew that he had.

"Then if I didn't offend you, why did you call me a creep?" He was also quiet, curious, and not understanding his feelings, or the way she was reacting to him. He may be a profiler, but he couldn't read that.

"I don't know." She twitched when she said that, and he knew instantly she was lying.

"Yes, you do." He had to admit, he wanted to know for personal reasons.

"Fine, I do, but I don't want to talk about it." She shoved the kettle onto the stove and turned it on. She didn't want to talk about her, her feelings, or how him saying she was beautiful made her feel. She believed him. That was hard enough. She had been let down so many times.

"Why?" It seemed silly to Reid. She had no reason to lie. Why would she?

"Because I don't." Taylor was becoming continually frustrated, so much so that she felt she could cry.

"I got that, but there has to be a reason. If you can't even give me a reason for why you don't want to talk about you making me feel like I offended you when I didn't, then it's unlikely you'll ever be able to talk about what happened to you. You have a lot of walls up, and you're very guarded. This is a small thing I'm asking you to explain to me. Think of it like an exercise. If you can reach down deep enough into yourself to tell me why you felt the need to make me feel inferior if it wasn't what you were actually feeling, then it begins to open doors to you becoming more comfortable with yourself. If you do that, eventually you'll be able to talk about what happened." That, and he just really wanted to know. It bothered him that he couldn't read her. He felt like something was wrong with him.

"Fine, you want to know what happened to me? I was..." Just as Taylor was about to tell him to keep him from getting in any deeper than he already was by just being him, by being honest, and by her knowing she could trust and believe in him, Emily walked in.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello Lovelies! I'm sorry for not updating for so long. I had a health scare that has deterred me from being able to do so. I'm still going through some tests, so bear with me and I promise I will get back on track with both this, and Dolls of the Night, as soon as humanely possible. I am also working on a little Christmas treat, so assuming my health decides to somewhat like me again and hold on there, you should all be seeing that very soon. Thanks for reading!

P.S. - This chapter is either going to get me exiled or loved. I'm going to be scared, just in case.

AngelEyes46 – Thanks for the review! I appreciate your wonderful words and am glad you are enjoying the story.

SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review...again! You are consistent, my friend! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter doesn't quite explain what happened to her, but the next one will. You're partially right.

KateEatsCake – Thank you for the review! I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to update. Here is more! Thank you for wanting more!

**Chapter 4**

**Let It Ride**

Immediately upon walking in, Emily noticed the inquisitive look on Reid's face, and the tense look on Taylor's face as she turned to face her. She knew she had walked in on a hot, hot conversation. Despite the looks on their faces, she was the one who felt awkward.

"Am I interrupting something?" She came over and sat her purse on the edge of the kitchen counter near Taylor so that she could take off her jacket.

"No!" Taylor yelled, but at the exact same time, as if in stereo, Reid yelled the exact opposite.

"Okay. I'm just going to ignore that little moment the two of you had and ask if I can talk to Taylor privately for a moment." Emily put her jacket in the coat cupboard while she waited for Reid to leave the room.

"Sure." Reid's face was sincere, but he didn't leave the room. Not that he had anywhere to go but in the hallway. Emily wanted to make sure he was out of the apartment totally so that he definitely couldn't hear them.

"Reid, that means you..." Taylor put up her hand in a motion dismissing what Emily was going to say, while snorting.

"Oh, leave him. He's just going to ask you a hundred questions regarding why he has to leave anyway. Then he'll ask another hundred and five after we've had our talk that he's been excluded from. It's easier just to leave him in the room." Out of the corner of her eye she could see that Reid was going to ask a question, because why wouldn't he? It had to be stopped. "As long as he doesn't talk."

"Do you hear that, Reid? Don't talk." Reid gave Emily a dirty look and went to open his mouth. "Hey, I didn't say it. She did. You should listen to her. She might yell at you if you don't."

"And don't ask why." Taylor threw in her last two cents that zipped Reid's lips...for now.

"Taylor, I went to see Penelope Garcia. She's our tech analyst for the BAU. She received the video from Chicago P.D. and ran it through her program. She got a match. I need you to look at a picture for me and tell me if this was the guy who...the guy you saw." Because Reid was standing there, Emily held back from saying what she wanted to say.

She then dug in her purse and pulled out the picture that Garcia had printed out for her. She carefully handed it to Taylor, having a gut feeling that it was going to be the guy. She was afraid for her sister to see the picture. You would think she would be prepared for her reaction after dealing with victims' families on a weekly basis, but the truth was, there was no stock reaction. And this was her sister. This was personal.

At first, Taylor just stared at the picture, her breathing hitching in her throat and becoming heavier and heavier. Before she knew it, her breathing indicated she was crying, only her face stayed strong, stern, and there were no tears to be found. It was as if she was hyperventilating, only she seemed to be holding her own just fine. Emily didn't know what to do, other than stand there and watch her. She was too heartsick to interrupt her, not knowing if this was something she needed to go through to come with terms with seeing the picture in front of her, or if she should interrupt. All she knew was that she had her answer.

"Taylor, maybe you should sit down. Why don't you...why don't you sit down." Seeing that Emily wasn't going to intervene, Reid decided to, gently walking over and taking Taylor by her arm. Taylor's body fell into him, surprising him, but he was still able to gently lead him over to the couch and sit her down while he sat next to her.

Reid then put his hand up, motioning for Emily to come and join them. If there was one thing he was good at, it was being a mediator. In this case, he didn't have all the facts, but he had enough to be the gentle, outside party that tried to make things seem at least a little bit okay. Before Emily came over, she pulled something else out of her purse. As she sat down, Reid could see what it was that she had.

"Taylor, I think there's something that Emily needs you to sign. It's an official statement saying that this is the man who you saw. Can you do that for her?" Reid motioned for Emily to hand him the pen, and when she did, he physically put it into Taylor's hand. She seemed dead inside, especially in her eyes, and she reached over almost robotically to sign the papers.

"Thank you, Taylor. I'm just going to make a phone call to Garcia to let her know we have a positive ID, and then we'll handle it from there." Emily knew she was treating her sister like a run of the mill victim, but she couldn't help it. The little, frightened girl inside, the one who probably felt dead now, felt more like one of her victims than her own sister. It scared her, but she was thankful that Reid was there to fill in the gaps where she couldn't.

Emily lifted herself from the couch and went out into the hallway, wanting to make sure that her sister heard none of the conversation, however, she figured in the state she was in, she would most likely tune it out. Once out in the hallway, she thought the better of it and propped the door open slightly to make sure she could keep an eye on her, while keeping her voice down. She dialed her phone, waiting for a response on the other end.

"Penelope Garcia, knower of all things wonderful and some not. How can I make your day?" This is normally where Emily would appreciate Garcia's wit and sense of humor, but not today. There were more pressing matters at hand.

"Garcia, it's Emily. We have a positive ID on the facial recognition you ran earlier." Emily's voice was stiff, glum at best. She was relieved that they knew who the perpetrator was, but afraid for her sister. She still hadn't moved, and she was shaking a little now.

"I was hoping you would say that, because I already contacted Chicago PD to let them know I found a match. I'm legally obligated to and what not, so forgive me for putting the metaphorical cart before the also metaphorical horse. They told me that if your sister is able to positively ID the unsub as Dante Rogue, that you should let them know right away, and they're requesting your help in bringing him in." Emily's voice got a little louder as disbelief hit, so she moved herself a few more paces around the corner and away from the door.

"What? My help? He's a teenager in high school. It shouldn't be that hard to catch him. Besides, this isn't an official case for me. I can't just go out there." She held her hand over the side of her mouth opposite of the phone, trying to keep the volume down as she peeked back in the apartment. Reid was trying to reach out to Taylor, but he kept pulling away, like he wasn't sure if he should. His mouth was running, though, and she didn't seem to mind. She almost seemed soothed by it. That had to be a first.

"You can if they request you, which is exactly what they are doing." Garcia was a little chipper about this, but she was like that towards everything. She just knew Emily was one of the best at catching the bad guys, and she needed to know the man who violated her sister so horribly was in custody. She knew it would feel good to Emily to be the one to take him in.

"Why? Don't they have their own FBI?" They were Chicago. They should. She couldn't just leave her sister to fly out there, as much as she wanted to be the one who brought the guy in, to know he was off the streets. To know her sister was safe, that the monsters Emily herself had spent years running from were no longer under the bed.

"They do, but they're not you. The police pulled some cold case files from the last two years and found that they matched the same M.O. as your sister's case, only without the video camera and the other girls died. They have reason to believe the same guy is responsible for all of the incidents, and they don't feel that they are properly equipped to bring him in. They think he's highly dangerous and will likely kill whomever he can if he knows they're coming after him. They want a profiler to come out and get inside his head so you can play that little mind game you guys do so well so that they can bring him in peacefully. We're the only branch of the FBI that profiles, so they need someone from here, and they're requesting you since you're so familiar with the case and can profile Dante on the plane ride in so you'll be prepared when you hit the ground. I also already called Hotch and he said if this is the guy he would sign off on it. You should land around the time the arrest warrant comes in, you know...if you choose to go." It never occurred to Garcia that she was crossing a line, only that she was helping. Her job was to do everything she could as quickly and efficiently as she could.

"Do I get a choice? This kid isn't a kid, he's a monster. I can't take the risk that he'd do this to anyone else. If they think they need me and Hotch is going to sign off on it, I'll go out." Given the new information, Emily knew she had to go.

She knew she looked a good bit like her sister. It should spark something inside of Dante and she should be able to bait him fairly easily, and do exactly what Garcia said, trick him into being arrested, based on the profile she had subconsciously built on him. The kid wasn't smart, just dangerous. The problem was, she didn't think she could leave Taylor for that long. All Taylor wanted was to be with her. How would she do if she were to be gone for what would hopefully be just a day, but could be more?

"Okey dokey, I will call them back, let them know you're coming, get Hotch to sign off and have the jet ready to go in an hour." Emily went to hit the end call button on her phone, figuring Garcia was done talking, but then she piped back in. "Oh, oh, before you go, is there anything we can do for your sister? Do you want me to stay with her while you're gone? Hotch said that she could come and stay with him and Jack, but he also said if she'd rather be around a woman that he would sign off for me to take the rest of the day off and stay with her. I can think of at least twenty happy things that we could do together to boost her spirits. And you know that JJ would help if you needed her to. I already called her, just in case."

Emily thought for a minute, wondering what she should do, and if Reid was the best choice of people to leave her sister with. Sure, she thought they could each learn something from each other and find companionship, but she didn't know if Reid had the emotional capability to take care of her in her greatest time of need. Hotch was a good option, but he had his hands full with Jack and deserved a week alone with him. Besides that, she wasn't sure how Taylor would take to his authoritative male attitude. She didn't think that's what Taylor needed right now.

Garcia was the sweetest girl in the world, but she may be a little too chipper for her sister. Plus, it was likely she'd try to teach Taylor how to knit so that she could keep her hands and mind busy, and that would blow up horribly in her face. If worse came to worst and Taylor was frightened, Garcia also wasn't the protective kind. She could try her best, but she couldn't shoot a gun, and she couldn't be authoritative enough.

JJ had the mix of everything Taylor needed. She was authoritative enough, female, and could give Taylor the emotional support she needed. However, with JJ's new job, it meant she was not off this week, which would leave Taylor home alone with Henry and William all day, and that wasn't a good option either. She weighed in her mind what she was going to do, when she saw her sister react in a way that she thought she wouldn't, at least not with any male, for a long time.

Reid had been talking to her the entire time Emily had been in the hallway, or at least for the duration of the time she had been watching them. Finally, he got the courage to reach out to her, his hand gently touching her shoulder. Almost instantly, she leaned into him, turning so her head was hidden in his shoulder. Emily could tell by the way her sister's body was shaking that she was crying. For a moment, Reid was dumbfounded as to what to do, but after a few moments he caught his bearings and moved his arms, wrapping them around her and lightly patting her back. She didn't know he had it in him. Look at that, he was a real boy.

"Penelope Garcia, you are a girl wonder. I would ask you if you know that, but I know you do. Thank you for everything, but I think she's going to be fine with Reid." Even Emily couldn't believe the words coming out of her own mouth.

"Wait just one minute, did you just say Reid? I mean, I know you said Reid was with her before, and that was weird enough, but it was only for a little while. Are you sure she'll be okay with him for that long? Because if I was violated and still recovering like she was, I might be tempted to hit him over the head with a frying pan when he goes into one of his know it all rants that he doesn't realize he's doing. Maybe that's just me." Emily laughed a little too loudly, drawing attention to herself from Reid, but not Taylor. She slipped herself back out of the doorway and let it shut.

"It's not just you, but she's seemed to take to him. I know, it's weird to me too." Weird wasn't the word. Seeing Reid react to another human being as if he were human was indescribable. She always knew deep down inside that he had it in him. She just didn't know if he knew that. He should be proud of himself.

"All right, whatever you say, Sugar. Penelope Garcia out." She didn't question it. She just hung up. She couldn't even go there.

Emily took a moment before pushing the door open and re-entering her apartment. She knew if she stopped to watch the way her sister was trusting Reid, she'd second guess going in there, but she had to. Reid, again, reacted to her, where Taylor didn't. She made sure to speak gently, as not to surprise her sister too badly.

"Hey guys, Chicago PD requested a profiler to come out and help apprehend the unsub. They want me specifically, and Garcia already cleared it with Hotch." Emily paused for a beat, waiting for Taylor to look at her so could make her understand exactly what was going on. She was also careful not to use Dante's name, as to keep her sister separated as much as she could from identifying this monster as a real human being. "Taylor, I'm going to go to Chicago and catch this guy, if you're okay staying here with Reid. If everything goes smoothly I should be back by tomorrow, then you won't have to be afraid anymore. If I go, will you be okay here with Reid? If you're not, I won't go."

"Reid won't hurt me, but I can never...I can't even close my eyes with him still out there. Catch him, Emily. Go catch him for me. Just...can you leave Reid with a gun? You know...just in case." Emily was shocked that her sister would even want to be near one, or want one in the house after what happened to her. But she was a smart girl and knew sometimes the only way to defend yourself is to fight back with the one thing that you couldn't defend yourself against before.

"Wow, you've definitely never seen Reid shoot. This is against my better judgement, but I keep a gun hidden upstairs in the shoebox in my cupboard. It's already loaded if you need you. I'm going to grab my go-bag and head out now. Reid, I should probably ask you this before I go. Are you okay with this?" Reid nodded, not taking a second thought to this.

"Yeah, I'm fine with it. Go, Emily. We'll be okay." His voice was soft and reassuring, so much so that Taylor sunk her head back into his shoulder.

"Take good care of her while I'm gone." Reid's eyes were sincere, as he met Emily's.

"That's a promise." Emily closed her eyes, taking a moment for herself so that she didn't cry. The last thing she wanted to do was leave Taylor, yet she somehow knew she was safe in Reid's hands.

"Thanks, Reid. I love you, Taylor. When I come back you won't have to be afraid anymore. My cell phone is on, so if you need anything you just call me." With her go bag from the coat closet in hand, Emily shut the door, laying her hand on it for a moment, afraid to let go. And just like that, she was gone, leaving Reid and Taylor to their own devices.

Not a lot changed between the two in the few hours post Emily's leaving. Taylor cried like she hadn't known anyone to cry before, and Reid just let her. Tears were something he knew all too well, but only in the privacy of his own home when he was alone. He cried like she was crying now when he was a boy, and he cried every time a case went wrong with the BAU. And all those times, all he wished for was someone to hold him and let him know it was okay, like he was doing with her. From personal experience, he learned how to fill in the human gaps where his genius wouldn't let him.

As the late fall sun started to leave the sky, it seemed as if Taylor was all cried out. She brought her head from his shoulder, numb, her breathing now barely audible. She looked up at Reid to see he was watching her every move, but not like he was studying her for human behavioral purposes. More like because he cared. She noted this.

"Thank you." She couldn't look in his eyes when she said it, but not because of him. She was still so insecure with herself. "I'm just...I'm going to go and get a shower." She didn't want to explain to him why, but she needed to wash the tears from her face and the sadness from her body.

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?" Taylor thought for an moment. She knew she should be hungry, but she wasn't. The last thing she wanted was to eat. It would only turn her stomach sour.

"I don't think you cooking is a good idea, and no, I'm not hungry. But if you are, I'm sure my sister has takeout menus somewhere. She's not much of a cook herself." Taylor turned, continuing towards the bathroom as Reid called after her.

"I'll, uh, try not to be insulted by that and keep that in mind." Taylor was going to fight back, to tell him that he was the one who almost burned down his apartment cooking, but truth be told, she just didn't have it in her anymore. He was sweet, naive and non understanding of many things, and because of that he didn't deserve to be harassed any more than she already had. He hadn't deserved that, either.

Taylor used up all the hot water in the shower, and when it turned cold, she stayed in for another twenty minutes, hoping that she could wash her past down the drain and freeze any bad thoughts in their tracks. She wanted more than anything not to remember what happened to her, but it was a part of her now. She wanted to reverse that part. She wanted something sweet, something gentle, some kind of human interaction that would prove to her not all of life was bad. Something just for her.

This time when Taylor came out of the shower, she came out knowing she hadn't brought clothes in with her. Truth be told, she hadn't thought about it going in, but now that she knew she had no clothing, she was going to face her fears and find out if Reid was true to some of the things he had said to her. She wanted to know for a fact that someone in this world wasn't a liar, other than her sister. She wanted it proven to her. There was only one way to have that happen, and she thought for some reason that she trusted Reid enough to test this on him. She felt in her heart she would get the results she was looking for. It was almost painstakingly obvious that he was incapable of a good, undetected lie.

Slowly, she came out of the bathroom, an oversized towel wrapped around her body, covering less than she had been diligent to cover in the last six months. She hadn't been able to show this much skin, to even see herself that way except for in the shower, and even in there she focused on the water, not her body. Now, she was going to have to face someone else. At one time in her life she would have been bold enough to do this, but not now. But she was facing it. She was trying.

Once out of the bathroom, she was surprised to see Reid not eating, yet sitting on the couch messing with the Candy Land board that they had never picked up. He was picking it up, inspecting the board and the pieces as if he expected there was a way to rig the game for cheating. The next thing that came out of her mouth, especially considering the circumstances, was a surprise even to her. But it was part of her trying.

"You must think I'm really a piece of work. First I spend a day smarting off to you, then I lean on you crying, and now I'm out here in a towel after I made you get me my bags yesterday." Taylor approached Reid, standing just feet from him, making him look up at her. He instantly became so nervous that his palms started sweating.

"I...I don't think you're crazy I just...you should put some clothes on. I don't necessarily know why you don't have any clothes on." Try as he might, Reid couldn't contain his nerves, and his voice started to waver. This was one situation he had never been in, nor did he know how to handle.

"Well, you were right, I am crazy. I have psych ward papers to prove it and everything, but I guess you'd be crazy, too, if you were me." She paused for a moment, gauging his reaction before continuing on. "Did you mean it earlier when you said I was beautiful?" Reid wanted to take his eyes off of her, to be polite, but he just couldn't. They wandered over her slender body, over the towel. He couldn't help it. Maybe he was a pervert and a creep, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Yes. Of course I did. I wouldn't lie." His voice was coming out husky, almost at a whisper just so he could get that out.

"Do you still feel that way...after seeing me like this?" Taylor's voice shook now. The way Reid's eyes wandered her body told her he wasn't lying, but she was still afraid he'd say he was. It didn't matter the reason, whether it be because he was trying to hide what his eyes were portraying. She couldn't handle it.

"Yes." His breathing was now getting heavy, almost catching up to the way Taylor's was when she saw the picture. He wanted to excuse himself, but he didn't know when the right moment would be to do that without offending her.

"But I'm...I'm cut all over. I'm hideous." It wasn't just her wrists she had cut, as she never intended to kill herself. She was just trying to cause enough pain to block out everything else, so she cut anywhere she could, trying to find the most harmful place to make the rest of her go numb.

"You're not." Reid couldn't understand how anyone as beautiful as her could be considered hideous. He was turned on, a new rarity for him. The cuts didn't make her less beautiful, they just added to her story.

"This isn't ugly enough for you?" Taylor got angry, pushing him to try and elicit the response she didn't want to hear, but Reid didn't waver.

"No. It's not ugly at all. I meant what I said before. You're beautiful. Your body is beautiful just the way it is. I think it's sad that you don't think you're beautiful and you don't love your body. And so does Emily. She thinks all of this is your way of trying to kill yourself." Reid found a way to get out what he wanted to say and change the subject a little, for his own sake, but it wasn't likely it would last. It took everything in him, and he only did it because he was hoping if he could convince her of the beauty he saw, she would put some clothes on. He wasn't sure that's what he wanted, though.

"It's not, and let's not talk about her right now, because you wouldn't love my body either if you saw me naked. This...it isn't even the worst of it." She had one scar, just one in particular, that she hadn't let anyone see, except the doctors that had worked on her. In rehab she would kick and scream if anyone tried to get near it, so help them God.

"I would still love your body. But I...I don't think I'm qualified to make that observation. I've uh...this is embarrassing, but I've never seen a woman naked before." Reid never had to tell anyone that, although everyone on his team automatically knew. But women didn't. He never got a chance to get that far with a woman, or get in a position where he had to give up that information. He felt he had to now.

"Never?" Taylor's breathing not got slightly heavier. She knew one hundred percent, without a doubt, that Reid hadn't been lying to her, and that he was gentle and sweet. In all her life, she had never had that. She, had been battered pretty badly, and that left more scars than the ones that could be seen.

"Never." Reid swallowed hard, uncomfortable with having to admit that, but unsure of where this was going. Instead of focusing on himself or the situation, afraid he might burst, he attempted to try to sway the topic back on her, but it blew up in his face terribly. "I know that you're uncomfortable in your skin...the black clothes, the way you didn't want to me to see you in a towel yesterday. I'm uncomfortable, too, so I understand that, and if you want to talk about the way you feel, then why don't you go and put some clothes ...

Taylor interrupted him, not wanting to hear another one of his speeches, ignoring what he said and picking up where she last left off. "Do you want to?" Taylor was so crazy inside her own head now that she didn't know what she was saying. She didn't care. She didn't think it out. She just said what came to mind, what she wanted, to someone she knew she could trust in.

"Yeah." His voice came out nervous, high pitched. He had to take a moment to get control of it. "Yes. I'm curious, you know. Just like any other guy. But I promised your sister that nothing inappropriate would happen between the two of us, because I kind of told her I was attracted to you and she took that the wrong way. I have no plans of breaking that promise."

"Stop talking about my sister and come here." Taylor's voice was soft, almost baby doll like. Reid didn't move, not because he wanted to insult her, but because he was too afraid. So saw this in him, but at that moment when her eyes met his, she saw something else she hadn't previously read. "You have sad eyes. You've been hurt, too, possibly worse than I have. I can see it."

She didn't think there was anyone in this world that had been the victim of as much true evil as she had. Not after what happened to her, and not after the few domestic incidents she had happen in her life, when she thought she had met Prince Charming. She was engaged once. Hell, she even made it down the aisle. It wasn't to someone like Reid, though. She didn't think anyone was like him from the moment she met him. And now, looking into his eyes, she knew no one was. He was heavily damaged. He needed the same that she did, a little tenderness and a lot of understanding. She had a lot of that to give, and she knew he would too, what with understanding how it feels to be as beaten down as she was.

She was in good hands, so she reached out for them. Reid's breathing increased more, so much so that even she could hear it. She grabbed his hand and pulled it toward her, latching it onto her towel while she dropped it with her other hand, leaving it in his own. There she stood, a kind of vulnerable she had never been before and never knew she could be. Her worst scar was there for him to see, yet he didn't look at it or focus on it. His eyes were all over her. His hands were frozen.

"Reid." Taylor called out gently, wanting to draw his attention to her eyes to see where this may go. Letting go with him emotionally was easy, but she still couldn't bring herself to tell him what happened, and since he wasn't focusing on the most prominent scar, she decided she wouldn't just now. She'd let it ride.

"You can call me Spencer." He said that more like it were a question, his eyes still unable to meet hers. He tried, he really did, but he was like a teenage boy, a normal one, and his hormones were taking over. What he said didn't mean a lot to him anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me that before? I don't want to call you by the wrong name." She swallowed hard now, knowing where this is going.

"I didn't think you were ready." His answer was automatic, the intelligent part of his brain working overtime to override the hormones automatically.

"Am I ready now, Spencer?" This finally got his attention and he was suddenly able to look up into her eyes, his brain taking back control.

"Yes." He nodded, too, just for extra emphasis.

"Then what are you ready for, Spencer?" If she had to be ready for something, so did he. She knew what he wanted, and she was going to give it to him and see where it took her.

Bending down gently, Taylor brought herself to Reid's level, still fully naked. She leaned in and began to kiss him, gently at first, just seeing if he was as gentle and naive as she thought. He tried to kiss back, but was having trouble finding the rhythm. This was enough to let her know she was in good hands, and as she slowly got him to find his natural ability, she noticed he didn't speed up, or become hungry for her. In fact, his hands weren't on her body, so she made it a point to put them there, grabbing them and moving them over the parts of her body they were allowed, showing him what to do. And that's exactly what he did, repeating the pattern.

This went on for awhile, comfortable, sweet, gentle, tender, everything that Taylor wanted. More than that, she felt safe being this close to him, and safe knowing he wasn't going to harm her. She moved away from him a little and began to unbutton his shirt. She wanted more from him.

"I, uh...don't think we should...I don't know..." Reid stuttered between breaths, wanting everything she was doing and going to do, but too embarrassed to admit it.

"That's what I'm here for. Just relax. Unless you don't want this, then you can alway say no and I'll stop. But only if you really don't want this, not if you're just trying to do the right thing. This is the right thing for me. This is what I need. I showed you my scars. I want you to show me yours. Maybe together we can send them both condolences." She continued to unbutton his shirt, knowing he wouldn't protest.

This was what he wanted, and this is what she could give him. He gave her the gentility, and she gave him humility. She was more than willing to be patient, to not embarrass him and to teach if he was willing to just be himself, his sweet, tender self. More than anything it's what she needed; to know that human beings weren't all horrible, rough and painful. She needed something true, and there wasn't a bad bone in his body. He was one of a kind, and she wondered if she was dreaming or if he was actually real. She would pinch herself, but her emotional scars were bad enough that she knew this had to be real. Besides that, it was completely cliche and she didn't get along well with sad cliches.

Taylor was careful. She went slow. Not only for herself, but for Reid, too. She wanted to make sure that, if any time he became uncomfortable with the situation and decided he wanted an out, that she gave him ample time to make that known. But as each new phase passed, he only seemed to indulge more. There were times he got embarrassed and he obviously didn't know what he was doing, but as soon as she started to touch him, everything else slipped away. He couldn't think of anything but what was happening, and he just listened to her voice and the kind way she explained what she was doing. She would tell him first, and then talk him through it.

Things progressed further, and she made one request. She needed to feel safe, unopened to the world. This made things a little more difficult, and she had to convince Reid that it was impossible for him to do anything wrong. Everyone did things differently and everyone deserved a chance to learn, and that's what she gave him.

The whole ordeal didn't take long, he was too excited, but it was his first time and she expected that. It wasn't about the gratification for her, but about knowing that someone didn't just want in her pants, or to violate her. Someone actually wanted to be with her because they found her attractive. Someone needed her to show them what to do, and knew she needed them to make sure she was safe. Someone actually gave her what she needed while she was able to give them the exact thing back. It was give and take. It was fair. In making love, all she had ever known was a lot of war.

And in the fight that was the one for her life, her sanity, and putting together the pieces she thought may have never been there in the first place, she found a safe haven, a solace, even if just for a little while. And as she snuggled against an already sleeping Reid, kicking Candy Land all over the floor, for the first time in a long while she saw a little ray of hope shine across the infinite darkness that had become her life.


	5. Chapter 5

A big thanks goes out to everyone for reading, reviewing and favoriting this story. You all are completely near and dear to my heart. And for those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas! (And while we're on the subject, I posted a Christmas story titled The December Grifter.) I know some of you have requested that I go on with this story, but I honestly don't know where else to go with it. This started out as an exercise to get Reid down pat, and to be honest, I'm surprised anyone read this at all. Chances are I won't be adding more to this, but you never know with me. One day I could wake up with an idea and just tinker with it for fun. And no, I haven't forgotten about Dolls of the Night. That story is like my pet that needs nurtured to perfection before being released. Right now, chapter three is still being nursed and it's being a jerk about it, but I'm getting there.

KateEatsCake - Thanks for the review! Also, thank you for the well wishes. My health sucks in general, so little emergencies really set me behind in writing, which I totally apologize for. Thank you so much for reading!

Gibbsgirlie08 – Thanks for the review! I'm glad you love their interaction. It's fun to write Reid reacting to someone outside of the BAU.

EunHee Kim – Thanks for the review! It's kind words like yours that inspire me to keep writing.

SSAFunbar – Ah, my loyal reviewer! Thank you for that! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story as much as you did! Thank you for the well wishes and, who knows, one day I may find a reason to add something to this story just for you. No promises, though, but I will try to come up with something awesome!

**Chapter 5**

**House of Cards**

Reid awoke in the middle of the night, crawling out of bed and pacing, not once, but twice. Taylor felt him both times, and knew that something was eating him. She tried to watch him in the dark and pretend like she was asleep. He never knew the difference until the third time he got up and she decided to nip it in the bud. Not only was it disturbing her sleep, but she was actually worried about him.

"Spencer." Taylor waited a beat while he jumped a little, and then turned to face her from looking out the windows flanking Emily's apartment. "Are you okay?"

"I really don't have an answer to that." He looked quizzically at her, like she held the answer he was looking for, yet he wasn't willing to get any closer to her.

"It was your first time. It's natural that you'd be confused. Do you need some time alone?" Taylor knew that after her first time she had a million questions run through her head, as she slipped out of the other person's bed and apartment in the dark of night, never to speak again. The biggest question she asked herself is why did she do that?

"I don't know that either." He turned away from her and went back to looking out the window.

"Do you know if you regret what we did...what happened?" Taylor couldn't imagine looking him in the eye through the perilous darkness while she asked this question, so him turning around was all the better.

"No. No, I don't. Not at all. I just don't really know what I expected it to be like, but it wasn't that." Reid's voice got high pitched, and he seemed shocked that she would ask that.

"Oh, honey, it never is. As long as it didn't suck for you..." Taylor tried out the other question that she had. He still didn't look at her.

"Suck? No! No...is that what you? No. It was...it felt..." Reid searched for the words, but he didn't know the right thing to say. Some words may make it seem like it wasn't good enough, and others may make him sound desperate.

"Don't strain yourself. If you enjoyed it, you'll never find the right words." Taylor was hoping that was the case. She was the only one who knew what she was doing, and it was her job to make it good for him, not visa versa.

"I definitely enjoyed, but did you?" Reid turned around again, but only for a moment. This was his most hesitant question.

"Spencer, come here." Taylor patted the couch next to her, but he didn't move, so she tried again, her voice soft. "Come here. Is that what you're worried about?"

"Well, yeah. In society it's always the man's job to perform to the woman's satisfaction sexually, and I don't really feel like I did that for you." Taylor patted the place next to her again, and finally Reid pulled away from the window and began to concede.

"Spencer, it was your first time. No one expects you to know what you're doing your first time. It was my job to take care of you. I'm just worried that I didn't do that for you." At this, Reid finally laid down next to her. She wrapped his arm around him, kissing his neck for reassurance.

"What? No! You did! It was...I didn't think I'd ever get to that point in my life. No one really wanted to take the time with me after they realized that I was unintentionally a know it all who didn't know a thing about love. To have someone care enough to want to go that far with me and then to take their time to show me what to do...it was unexpected." Taylor laid her head into his shoulder, closing her eyes. She desperately wanted to sleep, but not without him near.

"Sometimes unexpected is good. This was one of those times." She kissed his shoulder lightly, trying to lull him into relaxation, stripping away his insecurities and worries like he had unknowingly done for her. "I'm tired and I don't think I can sleep without you here."

"Still having nightmares?" Reid brought his hand up and ran it through Taylor's hair and over the back of her head. It even took him by surprise that he would know to do that in order to comfort someone.

"I wonder if they'll ever stop." Taylor rested, nuzzling her nose against Reid's neck, and her arms around his stomach and chest. This is how she intended to sleep if he would let her get some and go back to sleep himself.

"I wonder that, too." Reid himself yawned, seeming tired but questioning of all things that went on with his body tonight. It was clear he was fighting his own exhaustion through a hopeless battle with his head.

"Well, maybe if you keep me close they will, at least for a little while. I didn't have any last night and it was nice. I would like to repeat that cycle again." Taylor yawned a little dramatically for extra emphasis, so that Reid would hopefully catch the hint and go to sleep. When he didn't, she figured she'd just put an end to the games. "Go to sleep, Spencer."

Things got quiet for several minutes, and she wondered if he was really asleep or just pretending to be to appease her. She moved her head a little and he busted out with a snore. Just one, like her movement had caused him to make a freight train like sound. As soon as she stopped, he stopped. She moved again. The same thing happened. She started to giggle and almost made a game out of it, before she caught herself and realized she'd wake him up. After deciding to lay still to avoid this, it only took mere minutes for her to fall asleep as well.

Morning rolled around all too quickly and the pair was still fast asleep. Garcia, however, was not. She also wasn't expecting what she was about to get, as she turned the key in Emily's door and entered the apartment.

"Yoo-hoo, my lovelies, the one and only Garcia is here to check on..." She walked into the apartment, but as she got past the entryway and into the kitchen, she saw the two lying there, Taylor's naked back toward her. She could figure out the rest. "Ah! No! No! I did not just see that! It's okay. I didn't just see what I thought I saw!"

Garcia started to freak out, as she turned away from them, covering her eyes and pacing back and forth, only seeing through a little spot she left between her fingers. She was scarred for life. It was bad enough seeing Taylor's naked back, but seeing Reid shirtless with his clothes about was just too much. It was more information than she ever wanted to know about him. If it was Morgan, it would have been okay, but only if he was just naked, not naked with another girl.

Garcia started to calm down, still talking to herself. She kept taking deep, dramatic breaths. She started to take it all in, deciding that she was more shocked that it was Reid who was with the girl, than the fact that she found two people post sex. With anyone else she could expect this, or see this coming, even, but with Reid, it just wasn't something she could predict. She thought it was hinky enough that Reid was being trusted with Emily's only sister, but then to find that he actually bonded with her was just frightening, especially with his social skills.

Slowly, the pair started to come around and realize someone was in the house. Taylor, ironically enough, came around first. She had never met Garcia, so instantly se began to lose her shit, shaking Reid vigorously to wake him. Garcia was still talking to herself, unaware that was going on. As soon as Reid woke up and came out of is grogginess, he looked over and instantly knew who the person was.

"Garcia?" He didn't know if he was more in shock that she was there, or that they were caught. Here they were foolishly thinking they would be alone for awhile, and they should have known better.

"The Garcia?" In an almost comedic moment, Taylor turned and questioned Reid calmly, knowing who Garcia was from her sister. This wasn't how she expected to meet her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my lovelies. Emily gave me a key and she told me to come and make sure the two of you were all right before I went into work this morning. I'm so sorry. I should have knocked or something. I just...I didn't think I would be interrupting this. Oh, I'm sorry!" She still held her hand to her face, wondering how long she'd have to continue to do this. "Is everyone decent? Can I turn around yet? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have listened to Emily when she said, 'just go right in. It will be fine. No one will mind.' I mind! I really, really mind!"

"Emily!" Reid reacted first, Taylor having turned back around to hide her embarrassed face from Garcia.

"Yes, Emily told me..." This is when Garcia heard something in front of her and gently dropped her hands, jumping when she saw that it wasn't Reid or Taylor. "Emily! Oh, oh my gosh. Look, my lovelies, Emily is home! Why don't we just go out in the hallway, because I have to talk to you about this argument Morgan and I are having. You know, girl stuff."

"Garcia, you and Morgan aren't having an argument. He's on vacation for a week and unreachable. What's going on?" Emily tried to get around Garcia, but she stepped in front of her before she got far enough to see what was going on.

"I wasn't watching where I was going when I came in and I...I broke your vase and the kids are cleaning it up, but I really don't want you to see it and hate me." Garcia couldn't look Emily in the eyes when she said this, and it didn't take a profiler to know she was lying. She was a horrible liar.

"I don't have a vase. Garcia?" Emily stared her down, waiting for an answer. Garcia knew she had lost, and was doing everything she could to try and keep Emily away from the living room just long enough for the pair to get dressed.

"Emily, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have walked in without knocking, and please don't blame the kids. I just...and...what are you doing back so soon?" Her brain was working fast enough, but one top notch thought came through. Maybe this could stall her.

"We caught the guy. I went in prepared, and they had two districts of police to back me. With the evidence presented to him, he confessed without even lawyering up. Easy in, easy out." Garcia dropped her guard while Emily answered, just long enough for Emily to slide past her. Emily knew it would work. Unfortunately, noting could have prepared her for what she was about to see.

"Oh my God, Emily! Turn around! Turn around!" There was Taylor, standing facing what used to be just Garcia's back, giving Emily a full frontal, while she tried to find something to throw on, since her clothes weren't in the immediate area. She settled for Reid's shirt. It was better than her towel.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Reid had to say something for the sake of it, but the high pitched shakiness mixed into a bad lie made it so not even the least perceptive person could believe it.

"No, it is what it looks like, but we just didn't think you'd be home so soon." Because the lie was so bad, Taylor knew she had to cut in with the truth. Not that it wasn't obvious, but usually if she fessed up her sister went easier on her.

"I see that." Emily raised an eyebrow, while her sister threw on her shirt on top of her naked body. Reid, thank God, had his back turned to her and the light was all wrong for his reflection to show in her windows. He was also trying to dress himself.

"Just because you're home earlier than expected doesn't mean this is any of your business. We're both almost thirty." At least that's how old Taylor had picked up that Reid was from Emily telling her all about him.

"I know. I know. And it's not that, it's just that you're very fragile right now and this is all new to Reid. I think it was a poor choice that wasn't well thought out and I just don't want either of you to get hurt." Emily sighed. Taylor knew her sister wasn't mad, but the problem was that she couldn't tell what the emotion was that she was conveying, and she feared it was disappointment.

"I'm not hurt. It was great from me." Taylor reached over and smacked Reid over his naked arm, glad that's all she had smacked. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Garcia slowly backing towards the door.

"Not helping, Reid." Emily held her finger up, saying what Taylor had implied with a smack. As glad as Taylor was to have had last night, she wondered how she ever fell for a guy who had no sensor on when it was the wrong, most awkward moment to say something.

"I think I'm just going go. It was nice...it was interesting meeting you, Taylor." Before anyone could tell her to stop, Garcia fumbled over her words, her feet, and then was out the door. Apparently, this just wasn't her scene. Garcia didn't specialize in awkward, but if it was any other agent but Reid that was in this situation, she may have handled it a little better. She didn't know if she should cheer for him, giggle, or just run, so she chose the one that couldn't get her in trouble.

"Wow, I didn't think anything could scare Garcia." Reid finally found all of his clothes, but was forced to be shirtless due to Taylor, turning to face Emily.

He was a little embarrassed to be sans a shirt around her, but the real problem was much worse, so he dealt with it. At first, he seemed completely embarrassed, but now it had settled in that he was caught, and he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder over it. Emily knew inside he was metaphorically shaking in his boots, but he often became overly confident when trying to cover that up. She had no plans on going too hard on him.

"Neither did I. Congratulations, you two, you've managed to scar Garcia for life." She sighed, setting down her purse. After the day she had yesterday, she was hoping to sneak in the house and go to sleep, but she had no such luck. Now she had to deal with this, since the two of them were up and previously indispose.

"Don't look at me. She started it." Her eyes had inexplicably fallen on Reid without even her realizing it, almost like she was accusing him. She wasn't, but usually where there was sex, there was a horny boy, and to her defense, Reid had been just that upon first meeting Taylor, although he had shrugged it off in the face of Emily.

"Reid, this isn't third grade. It doesn't matter who started it or how it happened. It takes two people to have sex and...oh my God, I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you. You're almost thirty. You should know that it takes two people and both are at fault. For a genius, you surely miss the most obvious things." Give Reid a book and he could tell you the contents of it in under an hour. Give Reid real life and he panicked.

"I wasn't blaming her. I was merely letting you know that I didn't initiate this, therefore, you should know that I didn't intend to deviate from my plan of keeping things platonic between the two of us. When she came on to me, I admit, I caved, but I figured that it was okay since I hadn't started things." Even he knew his logic was severely lacking in the, well, logic department, but everyone knew boys got stupid over sex. And Reid was still that; a boy.

"Men, denying responsibility for their actions since their creation." Emily rolled her eyes, moving into the kitchen to start a cup of coffee. She could tell she was going to need it with the way this morning was already going. "I'm not mad, Reid. I'm a little surprised, and I'm a little amused. To be honest, I didn't think you had the sexual capacity of someone your age, and I didn't think my sister would touch you with a ten foot pole, considering her circumstances. What I did know was that there was something very broken inside of the both of you, and I have to say that I was hoping you two would bond. Maybe not like this, but to say that I didn't manipulate the situation by allowing Reid to stay here would be a lie. And, as it turns out, Taylor, your little joke about me trying to marry the two of you off by the end of the week backfired. You went from not even wanting to share a bed with him, to sleeping with him, and I had nothing to do with that. I wasn't even here."

"Well played." Taylor started a sarcastic slow clap for her sister and the way she took and then denied responsibility, just like she was accusing Reid of doing. Reid, not getting the significance of that or wanting to ask, butted in with his own thoughts.

"Does this mean I still get to keep my family jewels?" Emily was glad she was turned around carefully scooping coffee into the pot, because she couldn't stop the way her face broke to save her life. In all her years of working with Reid, she never thought she'd hear him talk about his family jewels. Normally he was more up front about that, but never touched the subject of his own genitalia. It was a shame it hadn't stayed that way.

"For now." Emily sighed, composing herself and turning around to speak to the two of them, directing the conversation at Reid first. "Reid, I'm really not mad about this. I know that you're both adults. I just...I don't want to see Taylor get hurt again. She's had enough chaos in her life and enough pain. There's a lot of good about the two of you. You're both uncomfortable in your own skin, you've both been heavily scarred, and you both understand that in each other. But there's a lot of bad, too. I can't think of anyone else who would be nicer to my sister than you, but I also can't think of anyone else who could unintentionally hurt her more and not even realize it. I mean no offense to you, Reid, but you're not the most socially aware person. I'm probably getting ahead of myself, though, because it was probably just one night. I know how you kids are these days."

"Really, Emily? Just...really? You're pulling the 'I know how you kids are these days' card? That's really lame." Taylor told Emily a lot of things, but this wasn't something she really wanted to talk about with her. All her life she had been looking for something that was just her own, and, for the first time, last night was just that.

She didn't know where this thing with Reid was going, or if there even was a thing. If it went nowhere, she hadn't even figured out if that mattered to her yet. All she knew was that last night gave her a security and gentility that she never knew existed, and that it was what it was. She just wanted to hold on to that for as long as possible. Moments like that didn't come along in her life. Until now, they had never bothered to exist.

"It is, isn't it? It's just...as much as I have a fierce need to protect you, it took me finding the two of you together to realize that I can't. I brought you here, and I plan on letting you stay here until you're good and ready to be alone, and I'll be here for you to talk to or lean on, but ultimately you're going to make your own decisions and your own mistakes. I'm not saying sleeping with Reid was a mistake, but this is something you're going to have to figure out on your own. Whatever the two of you decide to do is fine with me, but I'd rather stay out of it. Reid's my coworker and I respect him and appreciate his mind, so if the card I have to pull in order to not rock the boat is a lame card, it's the one I'm going to pull." Emily knew the trouble Taylor had with men, and she also knew Reid was a good guy. If she told Taylor that, though, it would likely collapse whatever was happening like it was a house of cards.

She didn't want to do that, because something told her that Reid had the gentility and understanding that she needed, and Taylor, for the first time in her life, might be able to just stick around long enough to enjoy that. And, if in the process, she ended up taking care of Reid and giving him the attention he truly needed and deserved, then she wouldn't count that as a bad thing. To her, they were an asset to each other; complimentary.

"Listen, not to change the subject, but we caught the guy, Taylor. We followed him home from school, he was alone, and we apprehended him. He confessed to what he did to you, and a few other things. He's going to go away for a very long time, but you're going to have to testify at his trial. I'll be there with you. Since I was involved in apprehending him, I'll have to be there for work anyway, but I just wanted to let you know. You're safe now." Emily saw a pause in the conversation, and since Reid never paused to shut up, she took the cue that everyone was done dwelling on what happened last night. She needed to change the subject, and she needed to do it quickly. She needed to get the white elephant in the room, the one that was trying to hide behind two emotionally naked people, out in the open.

"A few other things. What few other things? What else did he do, Emily?" Taylor could tell that, whatever it was, Emily didn't want to give it away. "I'm going to have to hear it at the trial, so I'd rather you just tell me now. It would be less devastating than having to listen to him recall the accounts of what he did to others. If it's worse than what he did to me...I just can't imagine."

"I'll tell you, but we're going to have to go to another room, or you're going to have to tell Reid what happened to you, because this is something that's going to hit too close to home. It's impossible to tell you without revealing what happened to you. And I hate to say this, but you might want Reid to lean on when you find out. He has a degree is psychology, you know." Emily didn't honestly know how Taylor was going to react to the news she was going to drop on her, but she did think she would need someone to go through this with, and since Emily already had a heads up, it seemed as if she would be too hardened to the situation. She needed someone else just as vulnerable, who hadn't had time to swallow the severity of it.

"It's been said." Taylor sighed deeply, knowing she had reached the end of the line with this lie and coverup. She trusted Reid enough to let him inside of her, and to see her naked when she was too afraid to look at herself that way. It seemed silly not to trust him with an outer truth. "I think we should sit down."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I can go out in the hallway for awhile." Taylor shook her head, physically leading Reid to the couch where they had made love, and sat him down on it, the bed still open and reeking of their sweat from last night. It was a reminder that she could trust him, and she was going to need that.

Before talking, Taylor grabbed Reid's hand, because she had a feeling she was going to need to squeeze it for reassurance while she retold her tale. Emily stood back, pouring her coffee and watching from her place in the kitchen. She didn't want to interrupt. She had to let Taylor fly at some point, and this was her way of doing that. If she could take the step she took last night in healing, she knew she could do this, too. She just had to let her.

"Six months ago I was leaving my apartment at night. I walked out the back door and was on my way to the car. The back lot is secluded and there wasn't anyone around. This guy came out of nowhere. Before I really knew what was happening, I felt this horrible pain in my chest, and then I felt blood. Things started to go dark, and I kept telling myself to just stay awake and I would be okay. But it wasn't okay. He wasn't done with me. He came over and he pushed me to the ground, and he started to undo...he raped me. All I could think was 'oh God, this is how I'm going to die; by bleeding out through a gunshot wound while being raped on a cold, unimaginative parking lot.' And that's when I realized that he wouldn't be raping me if he thought I was alive. He thought I was dead already, so I played dead. I fought to not choke on the blood coming out of my throat, I closed my eyes, I tuned everything out and just kept telling myself to stay awake, to just get through it. If I could just get through this, I would be okay. I wasn't going to die in that parking lot that night. I don't know how long I laid there, but what I do remember is someone coming out and someone yelling. I started to black out after that, so I don't know what happened, but I woke up in the hospital. After I was released, I was sent to a rehab facility. I started cutting when I just wanted to find something to take the edge off of the emotional pain. When I was still there after several months and not getting better, that's when Emily sent for me. When I was told I was flying here to be with her, I packed my things so fast and I got on that plane. The treatment center didn't want to let me go. They didn't think I'd be okay, but a family member can legally sign me out of there, and Emily filled out a papers and faxed it to them, so they had to let me go. And you know all the rest." Instead of breaking the story up, just telling Reid what happened to her, she spelled it all out for him. She knew he asked a lot of questions, and she was hoping this would void them and save them time. She just wanted to get it out and go on with her life.

The two of them just sat there, neither saying anything. Emily had expected that this would be the place where Reid would come in, only he didn't. She had never seen him speechless before, but she didn't hate it. However, if something wasn't said soon, she was afraid she would crack. It had been a long night. She was tired and she was heartbroken over everything. She just wanted to keep from crying in front of her sister. If she could do that, if she could still be her rock, that's all she wanted.

"It was your apartment manager to came out. He had installed security cameras just a few days before because he was worried someone was going to get hurt, which is how we were able to identify the attacker. Security happened to catch what happened to you on the cameras and called him. He came out and scared the attacker and called 911. I know you don't remember this, but I was there with you in the hospital for a week, but you weren't awake for any of it. I would have stayed longer, until you woke up, and I would have brought you back here sooner, but I couldn't. I tried to get more time off, but it just wasn't possible. I wanted to bring you out here sooner, but I needed to know that I had time dedicated to you and just you. That's why it took so long and I'm sorry for that. I was just worried that you would...I was worried you were going to terminate yourself in that facility, but at least there were people there to watch you. If I wasn't here, I just didn't know what could happen, so I had to wait until I was here. I also didn't intend for Reid to be here, but we've already talked about that." Emily poured another cup of coffee and took it to Reid. She knew Taylor wouldn't drink it, but was surprised when Reid didn't touch it. "Reid, say something."

It seemed trivial to be worried about Reid at a time like this, but she was. There were very few times she'd seen him freeze up as a reaction, and those times had not been good. It was usually when a life was ended in front of him. And maybe that's why he was sitting there the way he was. In a way, Taylor's was, and if anyone understood that, it was Reid's analytical mind putting things together in a way that only he could understand, and spitting it back out like a computer.

"I...I don't know how you got through something like that." After all the people he had profiled and the survivors he had talked to, he thought he had heard everything. But being raped after being shot, and breathing through it had to be the worst thing he had ever heard. If it wasn't, he didn't want to remember the worst thing he chose to forget.

"I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I never thought I'd be thankful for them, but if it wasn't for them, I don't think I would have. That wasn't the first time I've been raped. I had been date raped before. But it was the first time I had been shot. Having been raped before, or forced into sex, I already knew how to ignore that, how to space out and pretend it wasn't happening. So really, all I had to do was focus on not dying." She had tried so hard not to remember that night, or her past. That's why she took the medication she was given in the facility. It made her forget.

When it started to wear off, she started to cut. But she knew that was no way to live, and so did the facility, so they began to take her off of it, and she began to shut down. Now, she was rebooting all over again. It felt different than she thought it would. It made her feel free. She knew this was because of the people she was beginning again with, and she didn't know if he wanted to be apart from her sister like she was before. She didn't know if she wanted to lose whatever it was she and Reid had.

"Nobody is going to hurt you like that again. If anyone ever does, you call me." Taylor smirked and let out a little cry at the same time. It was one thing when Emily told her that, but completely different when someone like Reid did.

Emily wanted to interject and tell Reid to calm down, but she had never seen him this vehemently set on protecting someone. Since it was her sister, she had no plans to stop him.

"What if I don't want to call you because someone is hurting me? What if I want to call you so that I can hear your voice?" Taylor sunk her head into Reid's neck. It was a safe place to hide, but it made him uncomfortable around Emily.

"Then you should still call me." He spoke, and then looked up at Emily to make sure what he said was okay. He still didn't want to betray her. He had known her longer and he understood the order of sisters. She just nodded.

"He's a good guy, Taylor. You should give him a chance." Emily broke her own rule of not wanting to get involved.

She could tell Reid was already emotionally invested in her sister, however, she had never expected this was just physical for him. If it were, he would have sexually been with someone sooner, because there had been a few girls here and there that he'd made googly eyes at. Maybe her saying that would make Taylor go the other way, but she hoped it would reassure her that whatever she felt last night that had made her drop her guard with Reid was verified.

"Are you going to tell me about those other things that guy did, or are you going to pretend like you and Spencer are comfortable being in the same room together like this?" Taylor just wanted to change the subject. She appreciated Emily's two cents, but she still wanted to keep something just for herself. She wanted to be selfish for once.

"Taylor, he did what he did to you to eight other girls. They weren't lucky enough to have video cameras capture what happened to them. It was his M.O. Had he known there were video cameras where you were, he wouldn't have attacked you. And the only reason he didn't know was because they had just been put in." Taylor could tell this was about more than him attacking these girls. She knew because she knew what was supposed to happen to her, what would have if it hadn't been for those video cameras.

"The other girls didn't make it, did they?" If Emily wouldn't have answered her, she still would have known.

"No. I'm sorry. You were the only one that did. If it helps, we believe he killed because he was too insubordinate to interact with women who were alive. He was a coward." The room grew silent again, the discomfort of being found out being far less painful than this.

"No, that does not help. And if that was the case, why didn't he wear a mask?" Taylor never got that, because that's the part that haunted her the most. She knew his face, but she couldn't recall it completely, which haunted her worse than just knowing, just being able to help the police with a composite sketch. It wasn't until Emily showed her the picture that she really knew, and in its own way, it calmed her knowing that the police knew his face, too.

"Probably because he wanted to convince himself that he had power over these women. If they saw him before they died, that would stick with them. He could kill them knowing they knew who he was and he got away with it, and that probably has more to do with why he raped them than anything. The rape was probably an afterthought. He started out just wanting to feel power over a woman, and found it turned him on. Instead of masturbating to get off, he had the real thing right in front of him and no one around to find out. If he had no record, he could easily get away with it. Even if the police did find DNA, they had nothing to match it to." Reid analyzing what happened to her was too much. She wanted off of the subject.

If she was going to keep something just for herself, she needed him not to talk about her like she was a victim, or another BAU case. It was okay that Emily did because she had to now that she was involved professionally in the case, but she couldn't stomach Reid doing it, too. She just wanted to be treated like Taylor, the girl he slept with and hopefully cared about, not another name on a page of a police report.

"Oh God, it's official, my misfortune has turned into a BAU case." She tried to mumble, falling back on being bitterly sarcastic just to get through the situation without using her skill of flight, as opposed to fight.

"Actually, it's a little more than misfortune. Misfortune is defined as bad luck. I don't think luck had anything to do with this. You were specifically targeted and almost murdered. That would qualify more as a tragedy than anything else." At the same time, both Emily and Taylor moaned, Taylor removing her hand from Reid's before they both dropped their heads in their hands.

"Oh, you're not going to start this again, are you?" Taylor shook her head, speaking through disbelief. She thought they were over this part of their relationship, but, as it turns out, it wasn't a phase in their relationship. He was actually like this.

"Start what?" Both girls laughed, but then quickly groaned again. They weren't sure what the proper sentiment was here.

"He doesn't even know he's doing it, does he?" Taylor lifted her head and then extended her hands out toward him, showcasing him like she was Vanna White and he was the letter board. It was more out of sarcasm than anything.

"No, that he doesn't." Emily pulled her head from her hands and shook her head. It was time for her to get some sleep before she ended up in a pile of shits and giggles because she was so tired. If she did that, it would be like giving Reid permission to be oblivious.

"Doing what? What am I doing?" Reid was flustered, even going as far to pull away from Taylor as if he were insulted, hoping she'd just tell him.

"You know what, I'm going to go to bed. I'm exhausted. Good luck with him. Here, you might need this." Emily got off the chair, handing her coffee over to Taylor. She needed it more than Emily was going to. She was going to need more than that to deal with him this early, too. If Taylor was around him long enough, she'd learn to become a coffee drinker like the rest of the team.

"Oh, huh uh, I'm going to throw some clothes on and go get something to eat." Taylor got up and started searching for actual clothes to wear. It was about that time in the morning where she knew she wasn't getting back to sleep, so she better eat something and attempt to fake her way through the day.

"Why is everyone leaving me all of a sudden? What did I do?" Emily climbed the stairs silently, and Taylor searched her bags for her own clothes, ignoring Reid completely. "Guys, really, what did I do?"

"Here, short bus, throw on these clothes and come with me." In the process, she grabbed some of Reid's clothes and threw them his way, going to the bathroom to put hers on. This time, though, she left the door open. The monster wasn't on the other side of it, it was inside of her, and she was on the road to chasing it away.

"Wait, what's a short bus? I'm not short, and I don't even look like a bus. I resent that comment. It implies I'm a large, yellow, inanimate object." Taylor collapsed in a fit of laughter. She, in fact, had not compared him to a bus. She hadn't even thought of it. But hearing him compare himself to a bus was pure gold.

"Yeah, I'm just going to be in the lobby. Catch up with me when you figure it out." It took her a few minutes to contain her laughter and get her clothes on, but when she did, she composed her attitude and walked out of the bathroom as cool as a cucumber, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing Emily's keys off of the counter. Reid was almost dressed, so he'd catch up soon enough.

"Emily, what's a short bus? Emily!" Taylor was out the door in a blur, spitting laughter the whole way. Reid was left with no other choice but to call after Emily, who was also struggling to stop her own laughter.

"Just go with her. You'll figure it out eventually." She knew this was a truthful statement, but not a helpful one. She couldn't be helpful right now.

Frustrated with the lack of an answer, Reid threw his shirt on as quickly as humanely possible, not bothering to grab his wallet or any other thing in his fluster to find out what he missed. As he ran down the hall after Taylor, wondering if she really would be waiting in the lobby when he got there, he realized he wasn't just chasing down another girl. He was chasing his heart.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello everyone! Because of all of your amazing reviews and your wonderful gift of time that you've put into reading this story, I decided to continue it. I'm going to be honest, though, I had no intentions of doing that. This story was just done to work out the character of Reid, and I hadn't even intended on sharing it. I'm not going to lie, I'm totally flying by the seat of my pants on this. It's either going to come out really well, or it's going to suck. I am not totally sure where I'm going with this yet, so please bear with me. I will figure it out as I go along, it just may take me longer to update while doing that. Any suggestions, ideas, or commentary on where you would like to see this go are definitely appreciated and will absolutely be considered. I have some ideas on where to take this, but I can always use reader input. That's why I'm writing on here, because you guys are amazing at giving input and I take it all to heart. You all own my heart._

_Just a little note: I toyed with the idea of making this about her trial. Ultimately, I couldn't find a direction I was happy with when it came to that. Since the trial was in Chicago, there didn't seem to be a good balance of Reid in the story, and I was afraid that, since it was a Reid based story, that would really put a damper on it. This takes place around a year after the last chapter left off. The trial will be mentioned, talked about, and referred to in moderation throughout. Hopefully the coming chapters will clear up some things about Taylor's behavior. I always have a little backstory about my characters in order to really know who they are and write them, even if the full backstory doesn't matter. I decided to play with that, and I hope you all like it._

_Phasha18 – Thanks for the review! Thank you for just always being awesome. I can't wait to read more of your stories! You always crack me up._

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! Here is the more you requested. I hope the rest of this story lives up to your love for the first part of the story._

_SpemilyFan – Thanks for the review! I am just finding out about how many people are Spencer with Emily fans. I had no idea! All I know is that I'm obviously behind on a trend, and they're my two favorite characters on the show. I definitely want to try and keep the funny moments, because Taylor is a bittersweet girl, and I want to make sure that this reflects not only who she is now, but who she used to be. Hopefully this will make more sense in the coming chapters. _

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review! Happy belated Christmas to you, too, and Happy New Year! Thank you so much for being one of the awesome, faithful readers that encouraged me to continue working on this. I hope you like it. _

**Chapter 6**

**Secrets of a Little Angel**

Reid sat facing Taylor, the candlelight from the restaurant dancing lightly over all her best features. Then again, he couldn't find any feature that wasn't stunning. He didn't know a lot about romance, not more than he had read in books or been encouraged by Morgan, but the candlelight restaurant always returned as a classic time and again. He was trying. He knew Taylor was aware and would appreciate him for it, although she may give him a hard time about it irregardless. It was in her blood.

He and Taylor had remained in touch since the night they spent together nearly a year ago. It dismayed him that they had not remained close friends, or, more specifically, lovers like he had wanted. But it wasn't because he believed she didn't want it, too. Only days after that night, the same night of her attacker's capture, she was forced back to Chicago to begin undergoing evaluation in order to determine if she was competent to stand trial considering her post attack breakdown.

Emily, worried for her well being of being back in that place alone, took an extended leave of absence to be with her. Taylor went through a lot in that time; rigorous psych evaluations, followed by a trial that was drug out due to the jury's inability to decide if the unsub should be charged as an adult or a minor. Everything from Taylor's mental state, to her reputation, to every reminder of that night was drug through the mud only to end in the unsub subsequently committing suicide partway through the trial.

At this point, it had been nearly a year since Reid had seen Taylor, physically touched her and looked into her beautiful eyes. They stayed in touch on the phone, but as the trial got harder, her phone calls to him dwindled, and eventually she stopped picking up the phone altogether. Emily stepped in and made sure to call Reid so he knew what was going on and knew that her sister wasn't rejecting him. She was rejecting life and fighting not to shut down. Emily was upset by this, knowing that Reid could lift her spirits, but she was so conflicted with everything going on that she didn't push it. Emily knew she still cared about Reid and didn't want him to give up on her, and she didn't want Reid to get his heart broken, so she mediated with phone calls and updates when she could.

As soon as the case was over and Taylor was removed from the sharp clawed grasps of scrutiny, Emily helped her pack up her entire life so she could leave it behind and truly start over in Virginia. The road trip to her new home with all her things, everything from the apartment she paid for and kept through her time in rehab and stayed in with Emily during the trial, packed up in a U-Haul was a long one. It was freeing for Taylor to know she was leaving that life behind, and for the first time since she had been forced back to Chicago, Emily started to see some life in her sister again. By the time they hit the Ohio border, Taylor was already asking about Reid, and Emily knew that had to be a good sign.

They had only been back a week, but Emily wasted no time making sure Taylor got a rush of Reid through her veins, however she decided it best to do that. She didn't question it or think it icky anymore, she just knew he was good for her sister, and they were good for each other. Although she had encouraged it, she let Taylor make the phone call to Reid, which she did nearly immediately, partially due to all of Emily's little reminders of the time they spent together. Reid wanted to see her right away upon returning from the case he was on, just like Emily knew he would, and she would also be lying if she didn't admit to making the reservation and giving Reid a few hints about what kind of flowers her sister liked. She'd also be lying if she didn't admit that she liked them together.

Taylor found herself uselessly playing with her hair, her nails, and picking invisible lint off of the dress that Emily lent her for their special evening out. She was nervous, worried that she had changed too much in the year she had been gone, and not for the better due to the circumstances. She was worried Reid wouldn't like her anymore, or the person she became. She could already tell he was no different than the boy she took all innocence from. He was sweet, naive, and had the same heart. And he still would never think of hurting her. None of these things did she like more or less than the other.

"You're quiet. Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?" Reid hadn't been nervous prior to them getting together, which surprised him, but after the way she took care of him that night, he knew he had nothing to worry about with her. Someone who didn't really care for him wouldn't be as patient with him as she was.

Now, though, his nerves were getting the best of him. She always talked, she always had something to say, even if it was smart assed. He missed that. Although she held his hand as they walked the ten blocks from the apartment to the restaurant together, and she held it across the table now, she didn't speak much. He had a lot of things he wanted to ask her and he wanted to say to her, but he didn't want to over talk. Although Emily seemed sure of it, he didn't know if she even still felt the same way like he did.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's me." She squeezed his hand,then decided to break their connection for the first time that night. At that, Reid felt the whole energy of the two beings change.

"Am I about to get the 'it's not you, it's me,' speech? Because I don't know if I can handle that." He swallowed hard, never realizing just how much he cared about her until this moment. Love hurt. At least he thought this was love.

"No, you're not. At least not in that way. I don't want you to think that my feelings for you have changed. They haven't. But I've changed, and I don't want to put too much pressure on you, or to make you think you're forced to deal with it." She leaned forward in her chair, bringing her butt out of it for just a moment, long enough to reach across the table and touch his face before sitting back down.

"What are you saying? Do you want to try to be with me, or is that too much for you right now? Am I expecting too much? I've never had a real girlfriend before, so I don't know what I'm doing, and I apologize if I'm making this hard on you or doing something I shouldn't. I don't even know if you want to be my girlfriend, so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself." Reid stopped himself, knowing the treatment he got from Taylor when he ranted. Secretly, he loved her reaction, but he wasn't sure this was the best time to bring that out in her.

It wasn't the ranting that she hated, it was the useless information that her mind couldn't process that got under her skin, but she wouldn't tell him that. Not now, at least. She'd wait for the most awkward time she could think of and then pop it on him and use it as leverage. For what yet, she wasn't sure, but she'd find something. She liked toying with him, but meant no harm.

"You're adorable. And I do want to be with you. I know you haven't had a real girlfriend, and that doesn't matter to me. You know I'm patient. I'm just afraid that I'm asking too much out of you to ask you to be patient with me. I'm a mess right now. I'm going to be a mess for awhile. I don't know if this will change your mind about anything, but it's fair that I tell you that you deserve better than this; than the handful I am right now." She did what she did best and pushed Reid away, all the while telling herself that this was for his own good. She was simply giving him an out.

"I don't want anything but this." Reid was never sure of anything emotional in his life. Ask him a logical question, or to give up a fact about something and he could do that in his sleep. But this was different, and the worst part was, he wasn't sure why he was sure of this. He just knew he was.

"You can do better than a mess of a dreamer." She wanted to be honest. She wanted him to know that.

"I can't." He knew better. In his thirty years, no one had so much as batted an eyelash at him after they got to know him.

"You can." The part that hurt Reid the most about this was that she looked him directly in the eyes when she said this. It was like a bullet to the heart. She wasn't feeling much better about this, but she was merely a better actress.

"I can't, and I wouldn't want to try. You're what I want. I'm sure." Even if he had other girls pining after him like Morgan did, he was sure when he met her that his heart would change its mind. There was just something about her.

"Now I remember exactly how that night happened. In all the mess of the last few months, I started to forget how we ended up tangled in the sheets and accosting a Candy Land board with our body parts, but it's all becoming so clear again." At night, that was all she had hung onto, at least at first. Those memories were all the good she had. But then, as the fear of the case crept into her mind, those memories were consumed by an evil that caused the good to tuck itself deep inside her mind just so it could live.

"I never forgot about that night, not one part of it." This was one of the few times Reid was truly thankful for his eidetic memory. It gave him something to look forward to at night, and to keep him going when Taylor wasn't around. But it wasn't without its flaws. Those memories haunted him sometimes.

"You also have an eidetic memory." He smiled, having just thought that same thing. It was like they were connected and she could read his mind.

"Even without it, I'm sure that's something I would never forget." His memory didn't do too bad either; it hadn't failed him yet. The things he felt that night would also stick with him, because he knew he had never felt that way before.

"You haven't waited all year for me just because I was that good, have you?" Reid laughed, thinking back on how his life had pretty much been one big dry spell.

"It's not like I had any other offers." He tried his hand at teasing her by using the truth. It wasn't something his wit was used to, but he wanted to keep up with her. He was afraid he would bore her if he could not.

"Oh, you're going to play it like that, are you?" She taunted him, but then her voice turned sweet, sincerity filling her being. "You know, I don't get that. You're a catch. Girls don't know what they're missing out on."

"Yeah, well, tell them that." Girls took one look at every other guy around them and never even saw Reid. They didn't get the memo, most likely because he didn't think he was anything special. Taylor knew better.

"No. I kind of want to keep you to myself. I don't like sharing and I don't like cheaters." This sounded possessive, maybe a little scary, and although she made a joke out of it, she meant it, too. She didn't want to scare him away, but she only joked about the things she truly cared about, and she would never consider him hers. He was still his own person, just one she didn't want to share romantically.

"But you cheat at board games." Another thing he also never forgot was having his ass whooped by her. No one had ever cleaned the floor with him like that. You would think the passion that came along with that night would override him losing, but no. Not Reid.

"Just because someone kicks your heiny at board games does not mean they're cheating. It's virtually impossible to cheat at board games, and completely impossible to cheat at Candy Land. You're just jealous of my mad skills." Or her mad luck. There was no way to strategize in most board games. Lady Luck just had to be your wing women.

"You should play Chess with me sometime." She raised her eyebrow, having gone through many a match with Emily.

"Oh, you're on!" Her voice was cocky in an attempt to psych his mild demeanor out. He knew his chess skills, so he wasn't worried.

"You're not going to beat me." His voice was just as cocky, but not on purpose. He just knew how good he was. He knew the facts.

"I am." She leaned forward, putting on her best poker face over the candlelight. She looked far from scary. If anything, the candlelight just relit her soft features to perfection.

"I wouldn't bet on that. The odds of you winning against a genius who has memorized every strategical move for every board possible in the back of his eidetic memory..." She held up her hand, cutting him off by opening it and then closing it as if it were his mouth. He took the hint.

"Which immediately means I'm going to. If I win, you have to spend the night learning all the things I like. If you win, I spend the night doing all the things you like to you, and helping you figure out what they are." As she said this, she already knew that if she even had a prayer of beating him, she'd let him win anyway. She wanted to do all the things he liked, to help him learn what he liked. That was more important to her than getting what she wanted.

"Do couples actually do that?" Reid always thought this was a myth. He didn't know much about the sex lives of a normal adult, just a few things he read, but even then he thought a lot of things were just myths to make someone's sex life sound more invigorating.

"Believe it or not, they do. Besides, we're adults. We can do whatever we want." This may have been one of her more ironic statements. As much as she told herself and Emily that, sometimes she wondered if deep down they both weren't little kids lost in the confusion of life.

"I don't think we should try telling your sister that again. That didn't go over well the first time. And I don't think we should try to do what we did last time at your sister's again either. She likes me now. She may not if she catches us and we scar her for life." The last thing he needed was an awkward situation at work. He didn't need to sit across the desk and know Emily had seen him naked before. He didn't think she'd appreciate that mental image, either.

"Then where do you suggest we do it?" She had nowhere else to stay but with Emily. She didn't know the exacts of Reid's living arrangement, just that he had burned himself out of his apartment. For all she knew, he was probably living in a nursing home where they cooked for him and checked on him a million times a day to make sure he didn't wreck anything. Sometimes the smartest people had the least common sense.

"I have an apartment. I live alone." He would leer at her suggestively, but he didn't know how to do it without coming across super creepy. Instead, he just became extremely awkward, wondering why he didn't have any smooth moves, and if he crossed the line.

"Do you think we could go back there now?" Although their food had just come, she didn't want to be in a quiet room faking smiles when she could be completely alone with him.

"You've hardly touched your dinner. I don't see where there's a rush." Taylor looked down, hiding her little smile from Reid so she wouldn't have to explain it to him. This was one big reminder of how she fell for him so hard, so fast. Most guys would have had the check already and been shoving her in their car, but not him. He wanted to eat and he wanted her to eat. Sex wasn't front and center in his mind.

"Look at you over there always thinking strategically. I'm done eating. We should just go." She lifted her hand onto the table, reaching across and grabbing for his free hand that wasn't occupied by his fork. She was trying to connect with him again like she had done earlier. He recognized the change, but was unsure how to react, other than simply setting his fork down and letting the reality hit him that he was just no good at this.

"Was the food bad? Did you not like this restaurant?" The thought hadn't even crossed Taylor's mind. She didn't imagine his would go there, because the place was nearly amazing without him, but with him it was perfect.

"No. Oh, no, Spencer, it's not that. The restaurant is amazing. You chose a great place. It's just...it's me. I'm just not that hungry tonight, that's all. But hey, I'll take it in a box and warm it up later, I promise." She wanted him to know that she did want her food. She just wanted him more.

"Can I finish eating, then? This is really good." Reid was a little dense sometimes, or, as Morgan would tell him, he had a thick skull. He was at a restaurant. You ate there. You stayed until you were finished. This wasn't rocket science, especially to a boy who had no social graces by no fault of his own.

"Spencer..." Her voice was desperate now, pleading and giving out the first sign that, as much as she tried to hide it, something was really wrong. This went far past the trauma she had been through in the past months. "You and I may only have tonight."

Reid put his fork down, putting his hand up immediately to signal the waitress. The place was almost empty and impossibly quiet. As soon as she looked his way he choked out asking for the check.

"I don't want to just have tonight with you. If this is about me not wanting to go back to my apartment until I finish eating, I'm sorry. I'm trying here, but there's a lot of things I don't understand about dating and sex. I'm fixing that now, though." Reid thought he was doing everything wrong, worried that his inexperience would lose him the girl. That's all he could think about while she was gone; how he had a better chance of screwing up and losing her when she was in front of him, and how he didn't know what to do with her when she was.

"Spencer, this doesn't have anything to do with you wanting to finish your dinner. I have to go away for awhile in the morning. When I came back, you might not want to be with me anymore." Taylor couldn't help but wonder if Reid thought she was full of secrets. Deep down, she knew it was the guilt that was eating at her and causing her to think this. Deep down, she was full of another secret that could crush anything they had.

"Away? Again? Why? You just got back." Reid skipped over what she had last said, convinced nothing would make him not want to be with her. He fell for her in the worst situation, and nothing was going to change that. He was more worried about why she was leaving him when he felt like he had just gotten her back.

"I know. Spencer, what did Emily tell you about me prior to us meeting?" Taylor prayed he knew her secret, but she also knew it was too good to be true that he would. Her sister was protective of that secret. If she didn't tell him about what happened to her a year ago, prior to inviting him to stay at her house, she wouldn't have told him this.

"Nothing really. She's pretty quiet about her private life. I knew she had a sister, but I didn't know anything past that." Just then, the waitress brought the box Reid had requested. "Thank you."

"Living in Chicago wasn't a conscious decision. I moved there because I had to." She made full eye contact with him when she spoke. She wasn't going to break it. She wanted him to know exactly how serious she was and how much she never meant to hurt him. The rest was up to him.

"Why?" Reid began putting his food in the box, breaking his eye contact with her. He wasn't worried that she would lie to him about anything, or keep anything from him. If he only knew.

"Spencer, I have a daughter." This made him stop what he was doing and look up at her before even he realized his own reaction. His eyes met with hers again, and she felt safe to keep staring into them. "I should have told you, I know. I was so messed up when I met you. I came to Emily's to heal, and to do that I had to be a terrible mother and focus on myself. I took that too far by getting involved with you without telling you first. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore."

"This changes nothing, I just don't understand why having a daughter made you have to live in Chicago, why she didn't come back with you, and why you're leaving again." Reid was taken aback by her having a daughter, sure, but he didn't understand why she thought that would change the way he felt about her, or him wanting to see her. Sometimes women just didn't make sense.

"You're not mad? You don't hate me?" Taylor breathed out heavily, fighting back tears of relief and confusion. As much as Reid didn't understand why this news would change anything, she didn't understand why it didn't.

"No. I feel the same way about you that I did an hour ago. I just don't understand what's going on and why you didn't tell me." Reid was more curious than anything. He knew she meant him no ill will. There were a lot of things that told him that, one being the way she came to him that night, so needy and vulnerable, so open. She wouldn't have done this unless she had to, and certainly not to hurt him.

"Can we go back to your place and talk about this. Please? The situation is really complicated. I don't want to take you back to your place to have sex...I just think I'd rather talk about it there than at the restaurant." Even though he was making steps to leave the restaurant, she was trying to hurry him along before emotions overtook her. She knew this was going to be hard, but she didn't anticipate it would be this hard, because she didn't realize she felt as strongly about him as she did.

"You don't want to have sex with me anymore? You don't like me anymore?" Leave it to Reid to skip over any important part of that conversation and think he was being dumped. And yet, Taylor enjoyed his socially inept ass.

"No, Spencer, I would love to take you back to your place and have sex with you all night, but if that happens we will never talk about this, and I have to leave in the morning. I'll be back, but you deserve to know the truth before I go, instead of sitting around and wondering what's going on while I'm gone. Please understand that I never meant to hurt you or keep anything from you. It's not about that. It's just...the situation concerning my daughter isn't good, and it breaks my heart every time I breathe. After I was attacked, I could barely hold myself together, and bringing up what was going on with her would have pretty much guaranteed my suicide. I was selfish to come onto you the way I did without telling you the whole truth, and I was vulnerable in so many ways then. But it's not excuse and I know that. I'm not trying to make an excuse. I want you to know that I really care about you and I know what I did was wrong." She was near tears, coming closer with each word she spoke. Her voice begged with him, desperate to make him understand she didn't want anything but to leave here with him and find some understanding within him. The last thing she wanted to do was lose him.

"Taylor, I'm not mad at you. I'm not even upset with you. I'm a profiler, I read people for a living. I know you are sincerely upset about this and everything you're saying to me is true. I know you didn't do this to hurt me, which is what worries me. Since you weren't trying to hide this from me, something must really be wrong. I want to be there for you and your daughter if you'll let me. You just have to let me in and tell me what's going on. I can't help you if you don't. If anything, I'm worried you won't want me after you see me with kids. For some reason, they just don't like me all that much." Although the comment was unexpected and off color, Taylor was thankful for it. It gave her a chance to remember why she liked him, and how he made her life. It also gave her a chance to get in a dig. Picking on people always made her feel better, as long as they knew she was doing it merely in jest.

"It's because you try to give them a bunch of useless information and explain things to them when they just want to play with you." If she were a kid, she was sure she would do whatever it took to avoid riding her bike near his house. He was just that guy, but it didn't mean kids didn't like him. It just meant that he didn't know how to interact with kids.

"How do you know?" Part of him was offended, but the other part anxious for an answer, like she may have just solved some huge mystery for him.

"Because you do it to me. I'm an adult and it's annoying. If I were a kid, I'd think you were the most boring, weirdest person in the world because I couldn't follow a thing you were saying. At least when you can follow what you're saying it makes you a lot more likable." It didn't make him any less annoying, but to the right person, it made him completely adorable as long as he didn't do it in your darkest hour. Then he just deserved to be smacked.

"What happens if your daughter doesn't like me? Will you not want to be with me anymore?" Taylor thought it was interesting that he was the one panicking over this. She was the one who told him she had a daughter and admitted to keeping things from him, yet he was worried. The two made a very special pair. Probably not the good kind of special; more like the paste eating kind, but special none the less.

"Spencer, I don't know that she's really going to be able to make an opinion about you." Just that quickly, Taylor found herself choking back tears, desperate for Reid to finish packing his food in that damn box so they could leave.

"What do you mean?" Reid knew kids were opinionated. If they weren't they'd like him more. He was about to go into some rant about how it was unlikely a kid would not be able to make an opinion about him, but Taylor read that in him and put a stop to it before they got into the darker side of things and she flooded the restaurant with tears.

"Let's just go back to your place and talk. I'll explain it all there." The last thing she wanted to do was lose the first thing to make her feel free, happy, and like a woman instead of an emotional and physical punching bag. Even though he said it changed nothing, she knew once he heard the whole truth, it could. If she learned one thing in life, it was never to get her hopes up. Her life had betrayed her before.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey everyone! Thank you for all of your feedback on the new chapter. I know I went in a bizarre, unexpected direction with this, and I was wondering how it was going to fly. Actually, I have no idea what it is about this story that everyone seems to like, so when I say I'm flying by the seat of my pants writing this, I truly mean it. I have yet to figure out what it is that you al like about this story, so that I can keep on giving you all what you want. I know that sounds funny, but it's honest. I'm way more attached to both the characters and the story line of my other two stories, and yet this seems to be a favorite, and I seriously have sat here every day since I posted it and tried to figure out why. Yeah guys, I have no life. Every chapter I kind of cross my fingers and hope it goes over well. I'm a little unsure of where I'm going with the next chapter, and by a little, I mean completely. Comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcome. And if anyone can explain to me what it is about this story that you all seem to like; is it that there's no case to this story? Is it that it's it's about their personal lives? I really don't know! - maybe I can use that to target the next few chapters a little better. It may take me awhile to write the next chapter since I have no idea where I'm going, but I'm hoping by announcing this that a great idea will strike me at three am and I will be out here writing like a maniac on Adderall. Reverse psychology, it's not just for animate objects. Thank you all for reading and you own my heart!_

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review! Your enthusiasm for this story makes you one of my favorite readers. You reviews and your username always make me want to bake you a cake because you're awesome. I shall continue this story, but I shall not know where I'm actually going with this until the light comes on and I write something that feels right. I promise I will try to not let this go into the suck zone._

_SpemilyFan – Thanks for the review! I'm sorry for the cliffhanger. Hindsight really is 20/20, because I never even realized that I was mean and left it that way! Thank you for the feedback on how I'm writing Reid. Getting his character correct was my main reason for writing this story, so it's so encouraging and appreciated that you let me know I am doing that! Thank you!_

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! You would think after all of your reviews that your username would not still make me laugh, but it does. It makes me laugh in the good way, though. It's too cute. Wait, wait, you had a million possibilities in your mind! Can I borrow your mind? Because I had nada for this. I just kind of wrote and then hoped it all came out in the wash, which backed me into a little corner now, but I'll figure it out. Thank you for continually reviewing this. It's people like you voicing your opinion that made me continue with this. I'm a sucker for chapter requesting peer pressure. _

_Also, thank you for taking a little vacation to my profile. The best way I can explain my novel at this point, without giving too much away, is that I like to write off-color, off the beaten path characters that find a way to get into your heart. (See: Taylor Prentiss from this story, Melinda Jolene from The December Grifter, and Alona from Dolls of the Night.) It's kind of my niche. The novel is full of these kinds of characters, but focuses around one girl who has lived through abuse and the ignorance of her parents who never really wanted her, only to find out that the love of her life was the first person who was always there for her, but the last person who she thought she was good enough for. And it's a ridiculous, fun and slightly racy comedy. I really don't know what else to say but that without laying out the whole plot line, and for now I'm being a little secretive about that until it's totally finished. _

_Garbriella – Thanks for the review! Aw, thank you so much for liking the story! Also, thank you for your feedback on how I am writing Reid. It means so much to me and helps me to become a better writer, so I am appreciative to you for that! I, too, heart Reid. I do not plan on forgetting about this story, however, sometimes I do stupid stuff like that. If I do, I completely encourage you to go to my profile and bug me about it. I will not be offended whatsoever. I do have some health problems, so I may disappear for awhile due to that, but even still I will be honest and tell you that. Sometimes when I go through those issues, I just need someone to light a fire under my butt to get me writing again. And if it looks like I'm not going to finish this, I totally encourage all caps yelling and name calling. Seriously, I'm okay with that. Because I definitely don't want to let this story fall wayward to the land of half done stories. I love your name, by the way. _

_LeedsUK – Thanks for the review! It's awesome readers like you that make this story worth continuing, even if I may be temporarily bald and sitting in the corner with a bag of chips tearing my hair out until I decide where I'm going with this. Just kidding about that last part...I hope. Thank you. _

**Chapter 7 **

**A Life Betrayed**

The walk back to Reid's apartment was a tough one. Reid had his little way of attempting to pry things out of Taylor as they walked, but she kept quiet, looking up at the stars, hoping it would connect her to her daughter in some kind of way. But she knew better. They were all just on borrowed time.

Reid had never had a women in his apartment before. In any of his previous and short lived romantic trysts, he had met them at their house, gone out in public, and watched as nothing developed further. Not even his female team members had been inside of his apartment. It was his sacred place, the place that he could be as nerdy as he wanted and no one could pick on him for it. If he only knew that Taylor was just as nervous about going into his apartment, knowing the significance of opening up a place to her where they could be alone, he would have felt a little better.

They entered his building, an old apartment that fit the town. The elevator was small, confining, because of this. Taylor already felt like the walls were caving in, and this surely wasn't helping. By the time they reached the second floor, and his apartment, she felt as if she were being crushed by the weight of everything she had to say, and by the walls that weighed just that much. Knowing she was locked up tight in an apartment with Reid should have made her feel safe and comforted, but instead made her feel suffocated.

Before Taylor could get more than ten feet in the door, Reid had split from her, apologizing profusely for the condition of the apartment, while he scurried around to tidy things up, leaving her standing there baffled. His apartment was the cleanest place she'd ever seen, meticulously spotless from dust to items, a place for everything and everything in its place. She had no idea what he was so flipped out about, or what he was even trying to pick up. To her, it just looked like he was moving one well placed thing to another well placed area. Yep, he was definitely unusual. And she had to wonder, if he was this picky, what he thought of Emily's also immaculately clean-to-her eyes apartment. Leaving Candy Land out that night must have killed him.

Finally, when he was done obsessing over everything, but not yet done apologizing, he invited her to sit on the couch. He apologized again for the mess, and then once she sat down he apologized for the place not being woman friendly, as there had never been a woman inside of it. He also apologized because his furniture was older, a little more antique, but in great shape either way. It took her several minutes to get him to stop apologizing, because it was his place and he was allowed to do whatever he wished. Part of her knew his lasting obsession was only due to being nervous about what he was going to hear.

Unable to take his constant chatter, but unsurprised by it, Taylor took the initiative to put her hand in his, stopping him, and saying what she needed to say before she lost her nerve, or he talked and talked until she kissed him to get him to stop and things went wayward. She had to do this. She took a deep breath, but it didn't help. Forcing down her instinct of flight, she spoke.

"Spencer, look at me." She waited for a moment until he stopped talking, knowing things were serious. He couldn't hide his fear of hearing the inevitable by chattering anymore. "Before we get into this, I need you to understand that I've not had an easy life. What happened to me last year was the least of my problems, which is what made it my mental breaking point. I haven't always been this deep, dark, depressed, hidden secrets kind of girl. I don't expect you to look at me the same after you hear this."

"Taylor, I already told you that this changes nothing for me. I like the girl you are now. Whatever or whoever you were is in your past." Reid had a very straightforward, one track mind way of thinking. He saw what was in the now, and that's all that mattered to him. He took people for what they are, not what they were or would be, except with an unsub, because that's what his job forced him to see, which may be why he was this way.

"I'm glad you said that, because I used to be married. This is something I usually keep to myself and I try to forget." When people asked, she always said she had never been married, she had never loved, and her love life had been heavily troubled. Only the last part of that was true, but she never cared about anyone enough to let them know the truth. Reid was different.

"Why? Marriage means love. Why wouldn't you want to tell people you were loved?" Reid knew that if it were him, he would shout it from the rooftops that he was once in love, despite how it ended. Part of him always believed he was unlovable, and because he believed that, he thought everyone else did, too. Like everyone could see that he was less than perfect and a little different. He would want people to know he wasn't.

"When I was twenty-two I walked down the aisle with my high school sweetheart. We were just out of college and both just employed. I had saved up enough money to open my own little antique shop with my degree in general appraisal and business. He was working as a computer technician. Emily helped us come up with the money down to get a cute little house in a nice neighborhood. We paid her back quickly, and we had our own little happy life where ends met and we were fortunate. By twenty three I was pregnant. We knew we wanted to have a baby right away, so we were excited. Things were good. I thought we had everything we wanted." Taylor ignored his question and just explained, while he just listened. That's all she wanted from him.

She had to pause, though, to try to choke back the memories and the demons that had haunted her all these years. It was hard airing them out with someone there who resonated love, the same thing she thought her husband had for her, but learned that it was conditional. She knew Reid's wasn't.

"What happened?" Taylor had to put her head down for a moment to hide her tears, and when she did this Reid lifted his hand, running it through her hair. He was hesitant, but he felt like it was the right thing to do. He was working purely on instinct, not on experience.

"Pretty early on in the pregnancy I started having issues. The whole pregnancy ended up being troubled, but we knew early on that the baby would most likely have some problems. This is where my husband and I reached our impasse. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy, not only for my own health, but because he didn't want a baby that wasn't perfect. I completely disagreed, because I believe all babies are little gifts from heaven. We fought, and then we fought harder, until one day while I was on bed rest, he never came home from work. I knew what had happened. I knew he had left me. I did the only thing I could and threw all of his stuff away, changed the locks, and tried to go on with my life." It was clear that trying to go on meant that she had simply erased him out of her life and never dealt with it, which was something that would haunt her over and over in her life, and force her into all the bad habits she found. But she learned from it, it just took awhile.

"He just left you? Just like that? While you were pregnant?" There were many things that Reid heard that he couldn't believe, but they were situational. What was different here was that he knew the person who had been hurt, who had been left in the cold, and because of that he just couldn't understand who would do a thing like that to her.

"Yes, and he never looked back. He never contacted me, not even to try to get his stuff back. When I tried to contact him, he had already changed his cell phone number. I haven't heard from him since. But the worst part was that I realized early on that without him, I couldn't provide my baby with the life she deserved. My store was doing good, but it was still in its first couple of years, and still a baby itself. I knew that between the house payment, business expenses, and living expenses that there was no way I could properly afford to give my baby what she needed. I also knew that I couldn't spend the time with her that she deserved. In order to have money for the essentials, I had to be at the store. I was the only employee and I couldn't afford to pay another one. It was bad enough I was on bed rest and losing money on the store while I was pregnant, but to pay someone else then or after I had the baby was out of the question. Even if I sold the store, I would have to get another job, and who knew what I'd end up with. I looked for a new job, but there was nothing available that fit my degree at that time, and nobody wanted to hire someone who was expecting. Emily gave me the option to move in with her, but she was working for the FBI at the time. She would be gone all day and I would still have to leave my baby with a sitter. I was afraid no one would understand that she was different, because we knew she was going to be. No one would take care of her like she needed taken care of. I was forced to make the hardest decision I've ever made." She would never make a harder decision. To say getting shot and raped was easier than that would be an understatement.

"You gave her up?" Taylor nodded her head at first, unable to speak. She shifted her body on the couch, fully facing Reid. She kept a little bit of distance between the two, but really she just wanted to fall into him. His arm was there, lying gently on her arm now that she had turned, ready and waiting for when she needed to.

"I never wanted to, Spencer. I would have rather died than willingly give her up, but I had no choice. I had to do what was best for her. I loved her more than I loved myself. I still do. I always will. She was the only thing that mattered." Finally, Taylor couldn't stand to hold her own body weight. She fell into Reid's shoulder, him turning so she could be have her head in his chest.

She held back her tears, but she still tried to find a safe place against him. She wanted the wave of sadness to pass her quickly so that she could explain to Reid why she had done what she had done, to rectify it to not only him, even though she would never have to, but to her own mind. She still struggled with her decision six years later. It took her time to compose herself, but all the while Reid rubbed her back, telling her it was okay, to take her time, that he was there, that he was never going anywhere, and that when she was ready to talk again, he was there to listen. Because of his understanding, she finally found the strength to continue with her story, her body held on its own.

"I tried with her for a few months, Spencer. I really did try, but I knew nearly immediately that it wasn't working. She was showing signs of being different early on, and I was too tired to run the store to make money for us, and too tired to be a good mother because I had to run the store, and she had to come to the store with me. She cried and she hated it, because it was drafty and people were noisy. It was awful for both of us. I contacted an agency that dealt with open adoptions. I knew I wanted to have the option to be part of her life, and this was the only way I could do it while knowing she was being taken care of by two loving parents. It took a few months of patience, searching, and Emily padding my paycheck to make things work out, but finally the agency found a couple that was suited for my daughter. I met them and they were perfect. They had been married for ten years, were both fairly wealthy, and both wanted kids from point one. The wife had some medical problems and couldn't have kids, and she decided that when she adopted, she wanted to adopt a child that had some special needs, too. They were the sweetest people you would ever want to meet. They had love, and enough money to make sure my baby had everything she could ever want or need. But they were from Chicago and I wasn't." Taylor began to get choked up again. It was the memories of that day, of finally finding someone and just knowing they were right, and the emotion that overtook that memory that caused her to get choked up.

"Is that how you ended up there?" Taylor moved her hands from her face, her hair, and picking at her clothes just for comfort, into Reid's. She was trusting that he would hold her up long enough to tell this, and not let her fall or feel less than. It was like he was a part of her with the way he filled in what she needed to say when she couldn't, and the way he made things easier for her.

"Yes. When I found out they were from Chicago, I wondered why I had ever done an open adoption, because I thought I was going to get my heart broken. They were going to take her back to Chicago and send me updates and pictures every few months, and that was just supposed to be good enough. That was worse than never knowing, in a lot of ways. But that's not what happened, though. They told me they wanted me in her life for all the milestones and they would never keep me from her. In fact, it was their idea, and they are the ones who had their lawyer write that into the adoption papers. They even gave me the option to move to Chicago on their dime, and stay with them until I could get on my feet out there." There were times where Taylor would stop talking merely because she couldn't anymore. She needed a minute, a breather, and Reid struggled to fill those gaps with words that didn't feel like stock answers.

"They sound like amazing people." She squeezed his hands, maybe a little too hard, trying to pick up some of his energy and borrow it for herself. There was something about him that read hope, even if he wasn't too sure of himself. She needed that.

"They are. They were." She looked away from him, not wanting him to focus on that like she knew he could. This was an elegant tale of tragedy, and she'd get to that in time. "I moved out with them right away, and waited for my house and my shop to sell. I spent a few weeks when I first got out there pricing the market for a new shop, but I knew I was in over my head there. I could never afford an apartment and a shop in Chicago, so I went back to school for the first thing I knew I could get a job in, nursing. I didn't want to, but there were no jobs in my field still and I had to make my life work there. When I got the money from the sell of my house, I paid for my schooling and put a down payment on my apartment. When the shop sold, I put the money back for a rainy day, and promised if that day never came that I would keep it and open another shop. My nursing job was just temporary. I would reopen my shop again one day."

"You never got to?" Reid put his hand up to her face, and she fell into it, resting her head against it. He used his thumb to gently caress his face, wondering if he was doing anything wrong, or if he was really soothing her.

" No. This is where everything should have been perfect, but once I was out on my own in Chicago, I began to sink. I loved Chicago, but I hated my life there. Things were too expensive, I missed my house, I missed my job, I hated being a nurse and I missed my sister. There were just too many things I hated, and one of the biggest ones was still that I had to give my daughter up. I went to see her nearly every day, but she still wasn't mine. She had built a life with someone else, the life I was supposed to have, and it killed me. I couldn't take the pain, so I turned to guys to take it away. I thought that they would fill the gaps where I wasn't whole. I know now that only you can make yourself whole, and I wish I would have known it then. Desperate and broken girls attract abusive, authoritative guys, and that's what happened to me. I didn't feel like I was worth anything more than that." There was still a hole in her heart where hope used to be. She had found herself, but she didn't know who she would be with someone else if she was ever lucky enough to find someone who was worth it. She was learning again with Reid, but she was scared. She had her doubts that she'd mess up, not that he would hurt her, though, and that was one of the hardest things about her new reality.

"You are. You can't let what someone has done to you in your past reflect that. Your husband was a coward. You weren't. If you were, you would have had an abortion just to make him happy." She wanted to lift her head from his hand, to kiss Reid with everything she had, but she knew what would happen, and it was a deflection. Although it was meant with nothing but love, she knew where she would push it to lead just to get out of telling her story, and because she wanted to.

"I know, but I still felt useless. For a few years I let myself be beat down, and then one day I was visiting my daughter. She rarely makes eye contact, but for some reason she just sat and stared at me that day for the longest time, like she could see right through me. I felt naked around her, like she knew what I was doing to myself by dating these guys, and like she was...I don't know, Spencer. It was like she was disappointed in me. That day turned me around. I went to therapy when I could afford to, and group meetings when I couldn't. I stopped living like I wasn't alive. I started to see hope again. I was getting my life together and I had almost saved enough money to open the antique shop again, and then..." She couldn't speak anymore. Her voice had given out on her, and although she didn't visibly seem to be crying, she began to choke.

"You were attacked." Reid filled in the blanks, already reading her and where she was going with that.

"Yes. All that work, all that time, all that money I saved, it was gone. My insurance wouldn't pay for me to be in the treatment center, so I had to use my own money. I went through everything I had and I watched everything around me crumble. I couldn't visit my daughter while I was in the treatment center, and she was the one I was going to see that night when I was attacked. I wondered if she remembered me, or if she hated me for not showing up anymore. I was sinking. The attack triggered everything bad that had happened to me to come back, to break me down, to hurt me. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I knew I needed the help. I knew I would have killed myself had I not gone to that treatment center. For the first time in my life, having a daughter wasn't enough, because now the fact that she wasn't really mine was all that mattered. Everything bad was all I saw. That's when I realized I had never focused on myself, not since my husband left me, and I had to do that now. That's when I found you, and everything just started to change so quickly. You made me realize I was worth it, that I was whole on my own, and that I could love. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be leaving tomorrow." Reid had a lot to do with her recovery, more than she initially thought. He had given her hope and had taken her for what she was that night, nothing more and nothing less. He accepted all her scars. He made her realize she was whole and always had been, which changed her perspective on life and made her want to try again.

"That doesn't really make me feel too special." He didn't want her to leave, and the thought that he was the reason that she was in any way, shape, or form bared down hard on him. He just wanted to keep her right there with him.

"No. No! I didn't mean it like that. Me leaving tomorrow is a good thing, and I will be back." She just hoped he'd still be there. Everything he said and did proved he would, but she was still scared. She had been betrayed before.

"Why are you leaving anyway? You didn't really explain that part." She reached her hand up to his, pulling it away from her face and taking it into hers. This was the hardest part of anything she had said yet, because it cemented the reality that things were going to change drastically, but it was also the happiest.

"Six months ago, my daughter's adoptive family passed away. They had told me a few years ago that if they died they were appointing me as the legal guardian of my daughter. It was in their will. I never expected them to die, though, you know. And then when they did, I found out they left me so much more than that. They left everything to me. Their families had money and they didn't need anything, so they thought I could use their money to raise the daughter they had so lovingly raised as their own. It wasn't that easy, though. Because of what I had been through, and because I was in the middle of a trial, my daughter became a ward of the state until I was went through psych evaluation after psych evaluation, and Emily filled out a mountain of paperwork attesting that I was stable enough to have custody of my own daughter. They finally agreed that I was stable enough to take custody of her, but since I wanted to move back here with her, I had to move all my stuff back here, and then a social worker had to come out and approve the living arrangement. We spent this week busting ass and unpacking so everything was perfect for the social worker. She even made the second bedroom into my daughter's room. The social worker came out yesterday and approved the living arrangements. I heard back from the state of Chicago today and I can come get her tomorrow and bring her home." Home. She would finally have her daughter and they would make a home. It seemed too good to be true, and she kept expecting to wake up from this dream.

"That's incredible, Taylor. Congratulations." He didn't know if his words expressed the correct sentiment, but he didn't know what else to say. This is what she wanted. This is what she deserved. All of it just confused him when it came to finding where it left them.

"Thank you. I'm scared, you know, and not just because I haven't ever had the chance to be a real mom before, but because there's a catch to me bringing her home. I have six months to find my own place and get settled into it with her, or she goes back to Chicago to be a ward of the state. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I have no money for a place. I will be getting money from her adoptive parent's estate, and I'll be able to sell their house for more money, but I was told when they passed that it could take a year or longer for the money to be released. I can't wait for the money. Emily's already helping me and I know I'm tapping her out. She can't give more than she already is. I have to figure things out now, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I refuse to lose her again." It was nice for her to have come so far in this conversation, from the point where she was scared and shaky about retelling her story, to where she was confiding her most vulnerable places to him.

"I can help you. If it's money you need, I can give it to you and you can pay me back whenever you get the money from the estate." Taylor knew he didn't have a lot of money. She knew the range of what her sister made, and Emily had family money to fall back on if things got bad and she had to grovel to mom, something Taylor herself refused to do. As far as she knew, Reid didn't. Either way, she would never take his hard earned money.

"No, Spencer, I would never take your money. I...I would never do that, but thank you. You are so sweet, so amazing. Sometimes I wonder if you're even real." She felt like she should pinch herself, but she was afraid if she did that she would find none of this was real and it would all go away. She just wanted to hold on to the hope of having her daughter in her life awhile longer before she woke up, if this was but a dream that knew how to taunt her every want.

"There's nothing special about me, and I don't have a lot to give you, but I can scale back on things to help you." If she were to wake up and find this all a dream, the best she could wish is for her heart to stop beating, because she couldn't imagine living any other way after this. There was someone willing to give up his own wants and needs for hers, and she couldn't imagine why anyone would want to do that for her. Her own husband didn't even care.

"Spencer, no, but thank you." She looked him straight in the eyes. She was firm, but not hurtful, wanting him to know she was serious and in no way would be taking anything from him. The fact that he had even offered was more than enough.

"What are you going to do, then?" Reid worried that everything she wanted would crash around her. He would still be there, he wasn't leaving, but he wondered what would happen to her if she lost what she had always wanted. He couldn't bear to lose her, and as selfish as that sounded, it was the only truth he knew right now.

"I don't know. I'll figure it out. I already enrolled her in a special needs school here, so I'll have the days to work. I don't know if I'll be able to get a nursing shift during those hours, but I'm sure I can get something, and I'll do the best I can." A sinking feeling came over her. What if her best wasn't enough? That's all she could wonder over and over.

Part of her hated herself for fighting so hard to get her daughter back, for attending the psych evaluations and getting her hopes up. What if she still couldn't give her daughter what she needed, a better life than she could have with a family? Maybe she was the one being selfish, doing the wrong thing. Maybe she would be better off giving her up for adoption, because she wasn't more financially stable than she was back then. But she had love. She had all the love in the world and she wasn't going to give up this opportunity to try. She just knew she had to keep her wits about her, and if she saw herself getting in over her head and finding she couldn't give her daughter everything she deserved, she had to remember what she had to do. And she had to hope if it came to that, that she would still find a way to breathe without her.

"Can I ask you two things?" Throughout everything she had told, Reid's one track mind found he never got an answer to the one question that plagued him since they were at the restaurant, and another that her behavior brought forth.

"You can ask me anything, Spencer." There wasn't much left in her to hide from him. She had purged it all to him, and she still wondered how she did it, how she let her guard down. She tried not to question it, though, because the moment was special and different from anything she'd ever known.

"You never did say what was wrong with her, what made her different. And you never said her name." Reid was careful how he presented his questions, not asking them, yet inquiring about what he was curious about. That way, she wouldn't feel she had to answer them if she just couldn't. He didn't know what was going through her mind right now, and he didn't want to push her further than she could be pushed. She had to have a lot going on emotionally inside of her now, and he didn't want to break her anymore than she already was.

"She's heavily autistic. She sees the world a little differently than everyone else, and no one understands her because of that, but I think she's a beautiful little angel who knows more about the world than any jaded adult. And her name is Cecilia. It means blind in Latin, because I was hoping she would be blind to every inconsiderate person who treated her like less of a person because of her disabilities, and that she would persevere over them. I don't say her name because it hurts too much. It's like, if I'm just talking about her as my daughter, in abstract, it makes this less real, less painful." Cecilia. She hadn't heard herself say that in years, at least not when she wasn't talking directly to her. She couldn't use terms like dear or sweetie. It would only confuse her special mind. Outside of that, the name only floated in her head but never through her lips.

"But she's yours now, all yours. You don't have to be afraid to say her name anymore. I won't let her be taken away from you. I don't care what I have to do, between your sister and me, we'll make this work. I promise." He was a young boy making big promises to a girl he barely knew, but he wouldn't promise her the world if he could only offer her a city.

"I believe you both will try to the best of your ability, but you can't money appear. I'm just going to have to do a lot of praying. I'm getting a second chance at everything I've ever wanted, and I think there's something to that. If I just keep hoping, and wishing and praying as hard as I did for this to happen, I believe it won't all fall apart on me. If all of that got me this far, it wouldn't have done so just to rip her away from me again. I just have to have a little faith." Sometimes that's all there was left. When you stripped everything away, the hope, the dreams, the overtime at work just to get what you want, nothing else mattered but faith. Sometimes you just had to blindly rely on something, while continuing to do all you could to make things work out.

"Do you want me to go with you tomorrow to get her? I can take some time off of work. Hotch, our team leader, has a son and I'm sure he would understand..." Reid was worried about her going alone this emotional, but she quickly cut in, having to say his name a few times to get him to stop talking.

"Spencer...Spencer, I appreciate this, all of this, but I would rather the team not know. I just want to keep this between us. They don't even know me and I don't want to make things awkward for Emily. Besides that, it's better if I go alone. There's not a lot of things my daughter knows, but fortunately I am one of them. With the way she is, it takes her a long time of being around someone to form an opinion of them, or even care about them being around her. I don't want to confuse her by adding someone she's never met into the picture, and moving her to somewhere she's never known all in one day. She's already confused enough. I'm hoping that if I go alone and she sees me, and just me, that maybe she'll be able to trust me enough to make this transition easier on her. But there's something else I need you to do for me, if you're okay with that." She moved closer to him, wanting to take in everything she could about him and this night. Things were about to change more drastically than even she could imagine, and in case she lost him through it, in case it became too much for him, she wanted to know that, even just for one night, she had felt something true.

"Of course. Whatever you need." He would do anything for her. He was almost sure he would give up his own apartment and put that money toward a cute little house where they could live as a family. But he knew it was too soon for that, that he couldn't put all his eggs in one basket, and that, if he did, he may scare her away after what she'd been through. He didn't want to ruin this for anyone, especially not himself, and he didn't want to make her life harder.

"Can we just spend tonight together? Just two adults, alone, willing and able to do whatever they want. I'm going to be a full time mom soon, and I don't know when the next time we're going to be alone like this is going to be." Her mind had been reeling since she had seen him again with all the things she wanted to do to him. She'd rather make love to him than talk about everything she just had, but she did it hoping that the reward at the end wouldn't only be finding out she could trust someone with what had plagued her the most, but she could feel what she felt on that night a year ago all over again.

"Under one condition." Taylor tensed up, wondering if she had said or done something that made Reid change his mind. She knew this could happen, but she never wanted it to and she was scared. "You play that game of chess with me."

Taylor cracked a smile, feeling a little naughty and not being able to wait to let him win so she could give him back all the love he had just shown her. "You're on."


	8. Chapter 8

_I apologize for the lack of updates. I'm several chapters ahead on writing this story, but not so much on proofreading. Therefore, oddly enough, I did get on one of those rolls where I wrote like a maniac, but then I quickly fell behind on proofing and posting. I have been in and out of the hospital and doctor's offices with health problems over the last two and a half weeks, and I have more appointments coming up this week so that they can hopefully figure out what's going on, so please bear with me. I promise I am doing the best I can and I don't want to let you guys down. You all own my heart. Also, regardless of all of the above, I finally had someone explain to me what it was you all liked about the story, so I'm working on making this story better now that I understand what it is you all like. I like to please. Hopefully this chapter will reflect that. If not, feel free to tell me, you guys. _

_Phasha18 – Thanks, as always, for the review! *Pokes tongue out at you, too.* Thanks for being a sounding board for my stories! _

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review! Mostly Reid, indeed. (Sorry, I didn't mean to rhyme.) *Whispers* He is my favorite part of the story, too. I like the challenge that writing his character presents. It's a workout. _

_SpemilyFan – Thanks for the review! I'm going to virtually hug you right now, and it will probably be awkward, because virtual hugs always are, and I apologize. What I like about writing Reid is that he's a challenge. What I hate about writing Reid is that he's a challenge. I was concerned with how I presented the last chapter, as if no one could really be as understanding as he was, and I struggled with that. As lightly touched upon on the show, he has all the signs of Aspergers and also some of mild autism, which would leave him with a somewhat one track mind. (I did some research on this before taking a crack at his character.) If he likes someone, he likes someone, period. There's no gray area with him. I was trying to write to what I thought would fit his character, and then became concerned that it just made him seem unreal and inhuman. Your review made me feel much more secure in the way that I wrote him, and I appreciate the helpful and awesome feedback. _

_Also, it took me awhile to try to figure out her story, and then I gave up and just started writing and that's what came out, being as I didn't plan on continuing this story and had to write it around what I had already written about her. I may have cried in frustration once or twice. So I am glad you like it. Thank you! I'm still working out what is to come of Taylor, Reid and Cecilia together, but I have some ideas and snippets, so hopefully it all works out and comes together. (It's sad that I'm the author and I'm saying that, I know.) Also, I'm sure if Taylor were a real person she would thank you for pulling for her. I know I do. _

_MorbidMuch – Thanks for the review! I both appreciate and completely agree with your review, and also thank you for being so honest. In a lot of ways, I wish the story would have stayed what it was, because I was completely happy with it, but then I decided to go on and I feel like maybe it lost a little magic, so I appreciate you saying something. Thank you. _

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! It took me a moment to stop laughing when you said you like a little Reid-effect or none at all. I have the mind of a sixteen year old boy. It's really terrible and I apologize for it. All of your suggestions are really helpful. I got on a roll for the next three chapters, and I haven't used your ideas yet, but I will in upcoming chapters, so I really, really appreciate your ideas. Also, I completely forgot about Reid's sleight of hand. It's amazing that you mentioned that because I can use that as a tool for he and Cecilia's relationship. All kids love magic. It's better than the circus; no clowns. I wish I would have thought of the idea you had about him making money appear from behind her ear. I can work with his sleight of hand, oh yes, yes I can, so thank you for mentioning that. It's going to be super cute, too, because Taylor doesn't know about it. _

_Thank you for your input about what it is that you like about the story. That is ever so helpful as well. I am glad that it holds your interest. I hope that I continue to do that. If the story slips, please let me know, because I am trying to make this the best that it can be. _

_Aww, thank you so much! I will definitely let you know when it's finished, and the promise I'm making to all interested is that, even if it doesn't get published, they will get a copy. I'm also working on a paranormal thriller, mixed with a little bit of a totally human love story, too. We'll see which one beats the other one up to get to the finish line first. My brain is swimming. _

_MegalegU - Thanks for the review! Thank you so much for all the wonderful compliments! I appreciate your sweetness! I have the most amazing readers, I really do, and you are so definitely one. Also, thank you for the input on how I wrote Reid. Oddly enough, I started writing this story only to work out how I wrote the character of Reid, because I felt that I was struggling with writing him and I wanted to get it right for my other story. I did work extremely hard on writing him, but I still wondered if he was coming across how he should have been, so your input on that is so important to me and so appreciated. _

**Chapter 8**

**Time, Patience and Compassion**

This night, this time, much like other things in Taylor's life, didn't go how she had expected it to go. Luckily, Reid tended to have the exact same issues, so basically everything was going just how it should be. Although the plight was noble, the pair only got about halfway through their game of chess. Taylor couldn't control herself anymore, and Reid was so deep into the game that he hardly noticed. In fact, he was genuinely disgruntled when she removed herself from her seat next to him and began to kiss behind his ear, disrupting his game. He complained, he griped, and then she reached her foot up and purposely kicked the chess board off the coffee table. When he didn't go after it, she figured she finally had him right where she wanted him.

Her favorite thing about Reid was his awkwardness and resilience to enjoying what was going on around him without overanalyzing it first. She'd tell him that, but she knew it would get her nothing but a mind numbing speech that she was, quite frankly, too intent on her current goal to care about. While he ranted about protection, pulling the blinds to his lovely apartment, and not doing anything loud enough for the neighbors to hear, she was pulling protection from her purse, moving him into another room, and surveying the room before reminding him his bed backed up to the spare bedroom's wall, not a neighbor's, with a bathroom on the other side of the bedroom for extra noise protection.

Eventually, she just told him to shut up or she'd spank him. Apparently he liked that, because he didn't shut up. Not the whole way through the deed, which was awkward enough. She went on with what she was doing, telling herself that this was not any more awkward than their first time, or when Garcia caught them together, followed by Emily, and explanations and confessions. She should really learn that thinking these things is just asking for it in her life.

When everything was said and done, the stark reality of the situation began to set in. Taylor couldn't stop thinking about all the lasts that this night held, instead of all the firsts that tomorrow would hold. This was the last time she'd be alone with Reid in his apartment without having her mind fully set on Cecilia. This was the last time it would just be she and him before she became a full time mom. This is the last night she could stay overnight alone with him in his apartment and not have to worry about anything other than how tight he held her.

She had thought about leaving, as not to let herself fall into this false sense of reality, but she couldn't. Something was keeping her there. She knew that it was him and how he was the only thing that had truly ever been hers without strings, or conditions, without expectations or judgements. With him, she was naked in more ways than one, but that's how she was most comfortable with him. He was like a rare bird, captivating and beautiful, asking for you to understand it instead of try to capture it and break its wing so it could no longer fly away. Reid couldn't be kept, just simply understood, and if you could do that, he would give it back tenfold in an agreement of the hearts unparalleled to anything she knew she'd ever find.

She spent a long time in Reid's bathroom afterwards. She told him she was getting cleaned up, and he even gave her his own nighttime sweats and a t-shirt to throw on, but she really spent most of her time staring at herself in the mirror. It was the ultimate showdown. She was wondering if she could see far enough inside of herself to see the truth in a situation she was so caught up in. She wanted to see if she was being selfish, if she was thinking with her heart and not her mind, and if she was foolish. She wanted to see what someone else saw when they looked at her. She felt like she could never truly know herself until she could do that.

One thing about Reid was that he didn't hover. He was protective of her, but in a way that he respectfed her boundaries. He knew she was in the bathroom, that she had not left, and although he heard a faint crying from his place in the bedroom, he knew if she wanted him to console her, she'd come out and stop crying alone. He let her go, leaving her to sort herself out, to get cleaned up, to deal with what she needed to. He knew she needed time to figure things out, to be alone for a little while, and when she was done she would come back to him. Patience was not a virtue Reid was so familiar with, but he waited in bed, trying to read a book in French that he had picked up from the chic book store around the corner. All he was doing was tracing pages.

Eventually Taylor came out of the bathroom wearing the clothes he had given her, just like he knew she would. She laid down in bed next to him. She faced him, moving into him and putting her head into his neck. At least she tried to, but he pulled away. Panic started to fill her veins, wondering what she did wrong, expecting a goodbye. Instead, she felt his eyes on her and nothing but love. She closed hers for a moment to gather her thoughts, before pulling back and looking him in the eyes.

"You're looking at me like we're about to have a serious talk." She could help but smile, her voice playful. She would do anything to break up the silence caused by her elephant in the room.

"I've just been thinking, and I don't know that I'm the best thing for you and your daughter." He brought his hand up, running it through her hair as she lay facing him on the pillow. Those were the last words he wanted to say. After all, he had been so worried about her leaving him, but now he couldn't help but worry that maybe he was being selfish by trying to keep her from finding the best thing for her.

"Oh, we are." She laughed nervously, trying to smile, because she didn't do well with tension. Indicative to this were the words that came out of her mouth next. "Look, if I'm that bad in bed, just tell me. I'm a big girl. I can take it."

But she couldn't, not really, because she knew that wasn't what this was about. She didn't want to think about where this was going. She just wanted to wake up next to him and know she had one perfect night before things got complicated. She wanted to hold on to that during those nights where Cecilia wouldn't sleep, or she'd have nightmares and cry, or when she wondered if she was good enough to be a mom. At least she could reference this night and know she was good enough for someone, and it would give her hope.

"It's not about that, Taylor, and you can't deflect what I'm trying to tell you by putting your emotional guard up. We need to be realistic about this. I meant it when I said that I wasn't going anywhere, not unless you wanted me to. I don't want you to think that's what this is about. But you're heading into a new phase of your life, possibly the most important phase of your life. You're going to have a daughter to care for, and you deserve the best person for the both of you. I don't think I am that." It had struck him while she told her story, and it plagued him enough that he thought about it while they were together. But it was while she was in the bathroom collecting herself and crying, while he listened and knew he couldn't console her like she needed, that it slammed into him like a freight train.

"Why would you say something like that? That hurts me." Taylor's reaction was not pleasant, and angry, at best. She reached up, snatching Reid's hand out of her hair and throwing it toward him, leaving him speechless. She began to get out of bed. "If you don't want me, I'll just go."

Reid was too afraid to reach for her, to pull her back down into bed. This was the first time he had found himself in this situation and he didn't know what to do, but he thought touching her, trying to force her back in bed would be bad, especially after what she had been through. His only weapon and prayer were words, so he took a deep breath and prepared to share something he hoped to shield her from.

"My mom is in a sanitarium." Taylor paused for a moment from searching for her clothes on his floor, wanting to change into them and leave his behind, so she could go back to Emily's and cut all ties with him. He had her attention. "She's schizophrenic. She raised me herself and I know how hard it is to have a schizophrenic parent, because you end up taking care of them. There's no one there when you need them. You're it. It's a reversed relationship, because they depend on you. Schizophrenia can also be genetic."

"_That's_ what you're worried about?" Taylor sat back down on the bed, looking at him like that was the saddest thing she had ever heard. But she was relieved, because, for once, the harsh words weren't meant toward her. Something wasn't her fault and she hadn't done anything wrong like she had felt she had so often in the past.

"I don't know if my mental state will progress to schizophrenia, but my mind scares me, and I know I'm prone to it. It would be hard enough if it were just the two of us, but it's not just the two of us. You have a daughter, one with her own disorder, and you don't need mine on top of that. I would be a remarkably bad influence on her if the worst happened." Fully convinced by now that this wasn't about her, she pulled back the covers a little more and slid into them, resuming her original position, but now running her hand through Reid's short hair, trying to comfort him.

"You're banking on a maybe, Spencer." She didn't know what it was like to be inside of his mind, and she wasn't going to insult him by pretending to. She merely pointed out what he had addressed, that nothing was set in stone.

"A maybe is all I have. There's no guarantee, no chart to follow that will tell me if I will inherit her schizophrenia. There's been signs before that I may. I know it's possible, fitting maybe, with what I do." Reid always felt it would be an ironic, yet fitting end to his career. The outcast profiler who was granted leniency on nearly every physical task known to the FBI just so he could be part of it because of his asset of a mind, goes down in flames when schizophrenia takes it over. His job broke most people, but in this case, he'd break himself out of the job.

"So what, you're supposed to deny yourself love and happiness because of a maybe?" Taylor knew from experience that it was unfair to count yourself out because of your past. It was Spencer, in fact, that taught her that unknowingly. She wasn't about to let him give up on himself. Not if she could help it.

"I'm just being fair to you, and realistic to what I deserve and don't." When Taylor first sat down with him again, her heart was bruised from the way his had been beaten around; in his past and from himself. But suddenly something came over her, and she couldn't help but become angry and pensive.

"You're not being fair to me. Not by a long shot. You're not even being fair to yourself! How could you even think you don't deserve love? You took a very battered girl with a broken heart, in every sense of the word, and you loved her enough that she loved herself again. Anyone who has the time, patience and compassion to do that deserves anything that someone is willing to give back. _Everything_, Spencer." Taylor took her hand away from Reid, sitting up in such a fast motion that it took a moment for Reid's mind to register what had just happened.

"You're mad?" It was both a statement and a question, although it sounded more like the latter. He was unable to move, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Heck yeah, I'm mad! No, you know what, I'm pissed. I'm pissed that you have such a low opinion of yourself, that you're so insecure with something that hasn't even happened yet and may never, that you can't let yourself be happy. Why won't you allow yourself to be happy?" Taylor was so vehement about the way she felt about Reid and about the kind of stable, incredible person he was, that she seriously believed she could get into an argument she'd later regret with him. He was still trying to figure out what was going on.

"You're mad because I'm not happy, by no fault of your own?" He was piecing it together slowly, but it was never going to click for him. Morgan was right, girls were complicated. He was starting to understand why Morgan avoided relationships.

"Yes! Yes I am!" At this point, she got back out of bed, standing up and stomping her foot on the floor in an indignant, childlike manner.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Reid shot up from his lying down position in bed, to sit up, like it would help the blood flow to his brain so he could think this out better or something. In truth, he didn't know why he did it. It was just an automatic reaction.

"Then stop thinking about it!' This time when she yelled, her voice softened and she broke into a little laugh at the end, remembering yet again what it was about Reid that made him so appealing to her. It was this right here.

"What? Why are you laughing? I thought you were mad at me!" Reid's voice wreaked of desperation and confusion. His tone still hadn't changed. He was still stuck in the world of two minutes ago.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm mad that you're pushing me away. I wish that you could see inside of yourself what I see in you." Taylor shook her head, sitting back down on the bed and reaching her hand out to Reid's face, brushing it lightly.

"The feeling is mutual." He reached his hand up, putting it over hers as if it was protecting it, protecting her.

"But I'm trying and you're not. That's the difference. I know this is going to be hard, and things are going to change drastically. That's why I was honest and up front with you, and I gave you an out. My life is changing, and something big is coming into it. You're still you. Even after telling me what you have, it just doesn't matter to me. I like you. I want you in my life, but more important than that, I want you to give yourself a chance at this kind of a life, one where you know love and happiness. If you can't give yourself a chance, I can't be with you." She looked him in his eyes, trying to get her point across. All she wanted was him, nothing more. She was getting her daughter back, the man who attacked her could never attack anyone again, and although she had more problems than she knew what to do with, her life finally felt like it was going to work out. Without Reid, she would start rethinking everything.

"Are you breaking up with me?" He clenched his hand around hers, putting his fingers between hers and pulling her hand away from his face, upset, hurt and confused.

"What did you say your IQ was again?" Taylor giggled, moving closer to him, intent on having her way with him again. As sad as it sounded, his obliviousness turned her on and made her want to teach him things.

"187, but I'm unsure of what that has to do with the conversation." Reid moved away. Him not understanding what he was missing made him frustrated and awaiting an explanation. It was incredible two people so different found a way to come together, which was all Reid could keep thinking about. Was he just too different for her, for anyone?

"Of course you are." Reid had since let go of Taylor's hand, so she reached up, patting him on the head as if he were the cutest little child she had ever seen. "I'm doing the opposite of breaking up with you. In fact, I'm doing you favor. I'm forcing you to give yourself a chance, and not allowing you to say no."

"You can't actually do that. I don't belong to you, so I am entitled to say no if I would like. There's nothing you can do to stop me. You may be more physically fit than I am. In fact, most likely you are, but I deal with the most twisted minds on the planet on a weekly basis, and you've been physically and emotionally abused and almost murdered, so it's unlikely you would strike out at me, therefore giving me room to deny the situation, whether you meant for it to be this way or not." This time, Taylor backed away from Reid, giving her room to exercise her flair for the dramatic.

"Oh my gosh!" Taylor fell back into the bed, drama dripping from every movement and every inch of her body. She crashed lightly into the pillow and closed her eyes, playing faint.

"What? Are you okay?" Reid's mind, although intelligent, didn't pause to find logic in crisis. He was fine assuming she had a heart attack, or a coronary, or the sex had killed her. Either way.

"No. No, I am not okay. You are a lot of a work. You're a full time job, Buddy. I should be getting paid more to do this." She shot up off of the bed, drama continuing to fall from her lips. She nearly scared Reid right off of his end of the bed, having to put her hand out and grab his arm to make sure he didn't face plant the floor.

"You're...not getting paid at all." Reid skipped being frustrated in confusion, and went straight to stone cold stumped. The change in conversation was too much for his brain to handle with dignity.

"Oh, you don't think? What do you call what we just did? I'm pretty sure that's illegal in several countries." Still having her hand on his arm, Taylor pulled him closer, trying to get him to give his body over to her again. She was going to enjoy him as much as she could, if only he'd actually let her. That was the challenge.

Reid began to open his mouth to say something, but then he took a deep breath and stopped. His facial expression changed in five different ways before opening his mouth again, perplexed and thoughtful. "It might be. Some countries have extremely strict laws about what sexual acts are permitted and which ones aren't. In fact, in some countries you could go to jail for lewd sex acts."

She used his body as an anchor for her own, moving so that her mouth was at his ear before talking. "I bet you never thought you'd break the law."

"Since there's no ban on what sex acts can be performed in the privacy of ones home in the United States, save for any specific bondage acts where the person is ultimately strangled or deceased at the end, I technically didn't." Reid obviously skipped the part of life where you learn when someone is coming on to you and trying to be sexy. Most others girl would leave and give up. Taylor would just harass him lovingly about his shortcomings.

"You are really a killjoy. You just come right in and suck the fun right out of everything. I'm going to call you the fun sucker." She pulled away from him, successfully pouting while picking on him, hoping that it would bring him to her, that he would want to comfort her and she would have him right there where she wanted him.

"That could be misconstrued several different ways." Mentally, Taylor was doing the face palm. Physically, she was determined to complete her conquest. She had never not been able to seduce a man, which had been her problem all along; her problem with herself, the way she got in trouble. She knew she didn't have to do this with Reid, but for the first time, she was seducing someone because she wanted to, not because she felt she had to just to keep someone around, even when they were hurting her.

"Well, as long as you know what way I mean it, that's all that matters to me." He just stared at her, his eyes doing the shrugging for him. She pulled him toward her, finally at her wits end and exasperated. "Oh my God, will you just come here!"

"But we just got dressed and..." Before she had a chance to begin to undress him, he spoke. She pulled her hands away from his pants and sighed. Even the most patient of people had their limit.

"You know, considering the permanent stick up your ass, I'm surprised at how adventurous you are in bed." She was trying to give him a minute to come back to her so that she could continue with what she was doing. This was meant to be a stated fact, but instead came out as frustrated and slightly annoyed.

"It's not on purpose. I just do whatever you tell me." His voice matched her annoyance, almost as if he were not happy about their sex life, which wasn't true, and Taylor knew that, but it was that comment that made her realize she just wasn't going to mess with him. She wanted what she wanted, and she wasn't used to getting it from anyone but him, so excuse her for wanting to take advantage of that on her last night before everything changed.

"As any good man should. Come on, clothes off." She lunged at him again, but he moved backwards, almost landing himself on the floor again and causing injury. That one would be a little difficult to explain at work the next day.

"But we just got dressed..." He rebutted with the same response as before, confused as to why she wanted him to get undressed again. He had a lot to learn, which may have been the understatement of the year.

"We've been over that." She reached her hand at him again, but quickly noticed the blank look in his eyes, and decided to try to reason with him with her womanly charms. Really, she should have known better. "Fine, I will get naked and you just go on and be anal over there. I can take care of myself."

She began to strip off his pants that she was wearing, hoping that once he saw her naked body, she wouldn't have to do anything herself. He had to have hormones, right?

"What's that supposed to mean?" She shook her head, sighed, and got off the bed to finish taking the pants off. She surrendered.

"Okay, you know what, this is where I cry uncle. I am going to get something to drink, make myself a snack, and if you're not naked when I come back, I'm sleeping on the couch." She gave him an ultimatum. She hoped his hormones kicked in sometime soon. If they didn't, at least she wouldn't be hungry anymore. Call her a guy, but sex could make one that way.

"Will you make me something, too?" She laughed sarcastically, nearly performing the feared giggle snort when doing so.

"No." Her voice was just as sarcastic as her laugh, and she threw her hands over her chest, crossing them, as she started around the bed to leave the room.

"But it's my food." She laughed to herself, and shook her head, as she walked through the doorway.

"Don't care." She spat back at him, still sarcastic, but playfully.

"You're half naked." This time she had to stop in the hallway and lean against the wall for a moment. She had no idea what her being in only a t-shirt, which, by the way, fully covered her, had to do with her making food. It scared her that he did.

"Don't care about that either." She fluffed him off, coming out of the hall and entering the living room and kitchen combo.

He would either listen to her, follow her and more stupid would ensue, or she would realize she was going to have times when she was alone while with him, because he was never going to understand things the way others would. Unfortunately, for the first time she has doubts and fears about their relationship, because she thought, with the way he worked, she was going to find it being the latter one before the former two.


	9. Chapter 9

_A huge thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, adding this to your alerts and the like. You all own my heart. I toyed with the idea for this chapter for awhile, racking my brain for an idea of how to pull this together. I argued with this chapter, told it to go to heck, wrote it six different ways, and generally confused myself at least six times. In the end, I still don't know how it's going to go over. I may be walking a fragile line here. Please let me know what you think. I'm on the fence about this entire chapter all on its lonesome, but I think it works for the bigger picture. _

_SSAFunbar – Ah, my faithful reviewer! Thanks for the review! Yes, it's the dreaded giggle snort. To be fair, I don't think Taylor is the kind of girl who could beat Reid at chess, but she'd give him a heck of a run for his money. Soon Cecilia will come into the picture, and I think the results will be interesting. _

**Chapter 9**

**Run With Wild Horses**

Taylor had been in the kitchen for several minutes, hoping that Reid would come after her, or hoping to hear movement from his bedroom. She heard neither. She assumed he wasn't dead. She'd like to think she was more perceptive than that. He just simply wasn't coming after her or wasn't complying to her demands. She had confused him into a state where he simply couldn't do anything but lie there, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do with her. She was feeling lonely and he was feeling confused, something that was destined to haunt their relationship if they couldn't figure out how to deal with it.

Taylor sat on one of the bar stools surrounding the countertop that separated the living area from the kitchen, her eyes darting around the apartment. It was a pristine place, where everything nearly seemed like it belonged in a museum. She surveyed it, and for just a moment she was jealous. It was beautiful here, fantastic, in fact, and she couldn't imagine what he was paying for it. All she knew was that this was the kind of place that Cecilia deserved to be in, and the kind of place she couldn't afford for them. Her survival instincts pushed through inside of her, saddening her because she was finding herself wanting to ask Reid if she and Cecila could move in with him. He had the room, an extra bedroom and a guest bathroom just for her. She knew she couldn't do that, though. She couldn't saddle him like that, and she couldn't rely on him by putting all her eggs in one basket. She had to find herself with Cecilia, before she could fully let him into their blended life.

With her cup of coffee, she sat surrounded by her thoughts and nothing else. Her legs were crossed, her eyes tired, but her thoughts running through her mind faster than she could fully process. Just as she was in her deepest form of thought, a knocking sound interrupted them. She nearly jumped out of her skin, her body lifting up by default, coffee spilling all over his expensive looking chairs and his wooden floor, probably ruining it all.

"Holy eff! Shit! Damn it!" She hadn't meant to scream, but that's what had come out. It wasn't just the liquid mess spilling all over the place that made her yell, but she had felt a fear she didn't know she could still feel.

Demons haunted her, ones she thought she had left behind, and when she heard that sound, in her mind, she was hearing the gunshot that rang out and ended at her chest. It took her back to a place she knew she'd never stop visiting, at least not completely.

Reid heard the knocking and he heard her yell. She didn't have to verbalize to him what had scared her, he already knew. He did have a degree in psychology, and he dealt with victims on a daily basis. He got up quickly, missing his shirt, as he had just begun to think that, since she had not returned yet, she was serious about sleeping on the couch. Before Taylor could pull herself together or stop screaming, Reid was in front of her, grabbing her arms from flailing about as a reaction to her downfall, and wrapping them around himself.

"It's okay. It's fine, I'm right here. It was just the door. I'm right here." Reid pulled her into him, rubbing her back gently, holding her tightly and whispering in her ear. When he didn't try, he had the right instincts.

"I know that! I know what it was! I'm not going to be able to do this! I'm not strong enough! And I think I ruined your floor!" She pulled away from him, visibly upset, lashing out and feeling sick all the same. He just kept looking her in the eyes, his face sympathetic and soothing.

"Don't worry about my floor. It's just a floor. It can be fixed. I'll clean up this up later. Right now, we need to worry about you, and possibly find out who's knocking on my door at this hour at night." He reached out his hand, putting it around her waist and pulling her gently along with him toward the door, putting his face to the peephole. "It's just your sister, Taylor. She was probably just worried about you. You did turn your phone earlier. We should let her in, okay?"

By we, he meant her, since she was the one closest to the doorknob. She shook her head, wiping her eyes to clear the tears of fear, and trying to pull herself together now that she knew who it was. It was settling in that she had nothing to worry about. She unlocked the door, turning the knob and allowing her sister to enter.

"Oh, again?" As soon as Emily entered the apartment, she saw Taylor in what was obviously Reid's shirt and only Reid's shirt, and Reid without one. She whined, her voice becoming distraught and a little bewildered. She never wanted to catch them in a compromising position again.

"It's not like that." Reid defended himself much in the same way that he had the first time they had been caught. Emily believed him no more now than she did then. Only this time, Taylor didn't pitch in to clarify.

"Don't try that again on me, please. I know my sister didn't come here to play board games with you. I'm onto that excuse." She reached up and tousled Reid's hair, and he suddenly knew where Taylor had gotten that from. It would forever creep him out every time Emily did it from now on in.

"We _had _sex. We're _weren't _having sex just now." Taylor's voice was cold and rude toward her sister. Instead of sticking around, she turned and went back into Reid's bedroom, lying down on his bed to escape from them and deal with the pain and the fears she had just experienced.

"What's going on with her? Did you piss her off?" Emily crinkled her face, becoming worried, and speaking quietly in hopes that Taylor wouldn't hear her.

"I don't know. I think she's just scared." Reid stepped further into the apartment, motioning for Emily to follow him. "Have a seat."

"You don't know? And why do you think she's scared? What happened that would make you think that?" Emily took her jacket off, draping it over the back of the couch where Reid and Taylor had sat and talked earlier. But she didn't know that. In fact, she didn't know what Reid knew and didn't, and what Taylor had told him and hadn't. She was careful with what she said, no wanting to give away Taylor's secret, but also trying to pry out of Reid what he knew.

"She came out here to get something drink after she confused me with her sexual lingo. She was quiet out here, and I just let her go, because she was in my bathroom for a long time earlier, and she seemed to have been crying. I knew she had gone in there to be away from me. I didn't want to disturb her if she needed time by being out here. After you knocked on the door, she started screaming..."

"_I _scared her. She was out here thinking, and when I knocked on the door it reminded her of the sound of a gunshot." Reid nodded, not knowing anything to say that would wipe the look of guilt off of Emily's face. She looked away from him, also uncomfortable, trying to focus on the world that was Dr. Reid, when she noticed the puddle all over Reid's chair and floor.

"Did she spill her drink all over the place?" Reid nodded again, and she caught it out of the corner of her eye. "I'll clean it up before it ruins your floor."

"Leave it. I'd like to talk to you since you're here." The floor, the spilled drink, that was the furthest thing from Reid's mind. He couldn't have cared less what happened to his floor, contrary to how he had seemed earlier when he was cleaning an already clean apartment. Something about Taylor did that to him. It made him care only for her.

"This is a really nice place. You don't want your floor to be ruined." Emily tried to get up, knowing she had to find out what Reid knew, and if her sister didn't tell him, she had to step in and be honest with him. Everything about his actions, the look in his eyes, and the way he was when it came to her sister let her know he loved her, whether he realized it or not. She had to be fair to him.

"Emily." Reid reached out, grabbing onto her arm before she had a chance to make it the whole way off of the couch. "Please, sit back down. How did you find out where I live, anyway?"

"The sexiest hacker in the world. When Taylor didn't come home, I figured she had come here to be with you. I called, but both of your phones were off. I was going to just leave her go. I know she's safe with you, and I know she's an adult who can make her own decision. Heck, I think I was more excited about her date tonight than she was, but that's only because she was nervous. I need to know if she talked to you tonight." She hadn't intended to dive right in the way she had, but with Taylor hiding out, it was now or never.

"About her daughter? She did." They were on the same page, but it didn't make it anymore comfortable. They both felt like they were talking behind Taylor's back, something that neither wanted to do, but they knew they needed to.

"And what do you think about all of this?" Reid was a lot of great things, but she didn't know if he was a man who could handle a mentally fragile woman with a child. He had been amazing with Taylor, more than Emily could ever ask for, and he'd done more for her than Emily could do herself. She appreciated him, but she also found it a little unfair to weigh him down with the responsibility that Taylor was about to.

"It doesn't change the way I feel about Taylor. I'm not going anywhere unless she wants me to. I just...I'm worried that she's not ready for this. I know she can do this, that's not the issue, but..." Reid hesitated to say what he wanted to, afraid he was out of line, but he had to be honest with Emily since Taylor and Cecilia would be living with her.

"She hasn't had enough time to heal since was attacked?" Reid nodded again, feeling as if he were betraying Taylor by admitting to that, which is why he had paused. He was hoping Emily would say it, so he didn't have to.

"The way she reacted when you knocked on the door...when I got out here she was shaking and still screaming, but mostly she was just scared. I'm worried she can't take care of herself if she's alone yet. One day she'll be able to. I don't doubt that for a minute, but she just needs time. It hasn't been long enough yet. What happens if she breaks down like that with her daughter in the house?" Although the two had tried to keep their voices down, it was just a matter of time before Taylor made her way back out to them on her own. She didn't want to be with anyone right now, but she didn't want to be alone, either. She just wanted to not be afraid, to not feel like she was weak.

"I don't know. I don't think I can do this. I don't think I'm making the right decision for her. I'm not strong enough." Taylor had heard every word, although they hadn't wanted her to. When their voices got quiet, she crept out and stood at the opening of the hallway, leaning against where the living room wall met the hall wall. Both Reid and Emily turned to face her, the truth and tears written all over her face.

"You're more than strong enough, and you're going to be an amazing mother, but you do need time to heal." The profiler in Emily came out, but so did the big sister. She wanted to smooth things over and make them all right. Taylor didn't believe her. The look on her face said it all. "Listen, I wouldn't have fought as hard as I did for you, or filled out papers saying you were the one who should be raising Cecilia if you weren't. I wouldn't do that to you, because I know you only want what is best for her. You are what is best for her, Taylor. But you just need a lot more time to heal before you're going to be able to do this alone."

"She doesn't know anyone but me. She's going to be scared around anyone else." Her body shifted, but she didn't move from the place she was at, putting up an invisible wall between herself, and her sister and Reid.

"She's knows me. Not well, but enough. I'm here for you, you know that. I can take more time off work if you need me to be home with you, that way, if something like this happens, I'll be there. We'll pick up the pieces together." Emily wasn't worried, not like Taylor was. She was scared that Taylor would have her moments, but she knew Taylor would be an amazing mom. She had been before, but life dealt her a horrible hand. It wasn't her fault, and this wasn't either, so she wasn't going to let her lose her daughter again over something she had no control over.

"But I'll still scare her by that time. You can't keep taking off of work because of me. You love your job, you should go back. You're giving up your life for me and I don't want that...from either of you. Besides, what are you going to do when my six months is up and I have to have a permanent, approved residence for her? I don't even know what I'm going to do then." Tears were running down her cheeks, but she was crying silently. Everything inside of her said she couldn't do this.

"We'll sell my apartment. We'll get a nice house together with the money from the sell. It will be a permanent residence for all of us, three bedrooms, the picket fence, everything you want, you'll have." Taylor shook her head, appreciating that her sister was doing what she had always done, trying to give her the fairy tale at her own expense. There comes a time, though, when one couldn't continue to impair someone else's life.

"We can't afford that." Taylor wasn't dumb. She knew the area was expensive, and although Emily had a prime apartment overlooking The Capitol Building, she still couldn't afford a house like that with what she would sell her apartment for. People bought apartments here because they couldn't afford houses.

"We can. I'm not above going to Mom if I really have to. I know you won't, and I used to feel the same way, but we've mad our amends and she has some things to make up to us." It would kill Emily to ask her mom for money, and Taylor knew that, but the thing was, it wouldn't kill their mom. She would happily do it if it meant the well being of her girls. It's just that Taylor had cut contact with her as much as possible many, many years ago, and she knew it would feel like blood money to her.

"I don't want any of that! I don't want you to change your life for me." Taylor started to flip out again, her body shaking, her hands flailing in all directions, although she didn't know why. She didn't know if she was hurt, mad, or upset at them, or herself. She just knew the way her body was automatically reacting wasn't good.

"Then I'll change mine, and we'll make it work." Reid got up from where he was, walking over to her and doing what he had done earlier, wrapping her arms around him, and his around her, rubbing her back gently. He wanted her to know he was there, and he was serious.

"No! I don't want that, either. This isn't your problem, it's mine. Let's just say what we're all thinking. I may want Cecilia more than anything in the world, and I may be the best person for her, but I'm not stable enough right now to bring her home. I don't care what those psychologist said. I believed them, too, until twenty minutes ago. She needs someone else, someone who hasn't been traumatized the way I have. I thought I had my second chance with her. I just really don't want to give her up this time. I don't want to have my heart broken again." This time she let out a whimper, fully letting go and crying into Reid. She had buried her head in his chest, his small stature all she had to protect her from the rest of the world. She never thought she'd rely on someone like this again, not after her husband left her, but she was, and she thought that nothing short of a miracle.

"You're not going to have to. I have a degree in psychology, and I agree with them. Whether you need time or not, it doesn't take away from the fact that you are ready to raise a daughter. You just need some help until enough time has passed for you to feel secure again. I don't know when that will be, but the time will come. You shouldn't have to lose out on your chance to be a mother because of that, because no one would be a better, more loving mother than you. If you don't believe the other psychologists, I know you trust me. Please believe me." She pulled herself out of his chest at her own will. Reid took the opportunity to lean down and kiss her on the forehead, before sliding around her and putting his arm behind her. "Come on."

Reid managed to calm Taylor down some, getting her to the couch to sit with him. She curled up next to him, not caring that her sister was there. This wasn't an intimate moment, this was a moment of finding safety. He put his around around her, but not before grabbing a blanket off of the back of the couch and wrapping it around her. She had to be chilly in just his t-shirt. All stayed quiet after that for several minutes, allowing Taylor to fall into a certain calmness, until Emily broke the silence.

"You're really good with her, Spencer." Emily didn't mean to say it, and at first she hadn't realized she had said it out loud. She was more in awe than anything, and couldn't help herself. She had never seen Reid act so human. She knew that he was right for her sister, but maybe not even she saw why or just how good, until now.

Whether he'd admit it or even knew it, he loved her. And she was pretty sure she loved him, too, but neither would say it. Neither should. It was too soon and they had to be sure. She didn't want either of them to end up broken. She would feel like the guilty party, as she had introduced them. She never thought anything would develop between them, and although she was glad it had, now that she saw what was going on in front of her own eyes, she really hoped this didn't fail, because she didn't know who she should be more worried about if it did. Her sister, who found a way to fall into every pothole that life had to offer by zero fault of her own, or Reid, who managed to navigate his world alone, but found himself getting beat down at every corner.

"You guys, I think I have an idea. While we were sitting here, I was thinking..." With the moment between them making Emily uncomfortable, she took the opportunity to get a jab in at Reid, feeling awkward about falling into the emotional pattern she had earlier when she had complimented him. They were still colleagues, regardless.

"Of course you were." Reid raised an eyebrow at her, trying not to profile her, but seeing what she was doing, how she was trying to not get too emotional with him, eventually leading her into being non professional.

"Funny. Emily, what do you know about the woman of whom you succeeded?" Reid didn't realize he was doing it, but while talking, he was gently rubbing Taylor's arm, soothing her, but paying no attention to her other than that, speaking straight to Emily.

"Not much. Just that she chose to leave the team on her own recognizance." It was often that Emily had no idea where Reid was going with something, but this time she couldn't even take a stab in the dark. She wondered if he knew where he was going with this.

"Her name was Elle Greenaway. After she left the BAU, she decided to leave law enforcement altogether. She makes her money freelance writing about her experiences in law enforcement for different magazines. She even has her own column in one. She also runs an online forum where she helps kids and young adults who were marred by sexual abuse, or their parents were killed in the line of duty, by answering their questions and directing them to where they can get the proper help." Emily raised an eyebrow, not in the mood to sit here and listen to him go on about something at this hour of night. Although he was talking only to her, she was unamused that her sister hadn't piped in with one of her smart ass comments she was so famous for. She could come in handy right now.

"What are you saying?" She wanted her voice to come out as deadpan, to let Reid know he needed to get to the point. She couldn't help it, though. She had always wondered about the woman who came before her, although she still didn't see what it had to do with the situation.

"I'm saying that she works from home and her life revolves around helping people. I'm the only one she's kept in touch with, and it's not often, but if I asked her, I'm sure she would be willing to stay with Taylor and Cecilia when we couldn't. Her schedule would certainly allow for it." Reid sometimes wondered what it was about him that made Elle want to stay in touch with only him, and with no one else. The only conclusion he was ever able to come to was that she remembered the night the two spoke in her hotel room before she made a fateful, career ending decision, and figured she could trust him.

"Why would you think she would want to stay with someone she's never even met? Especially when it doesn't exactly sound like the two of you are close friends." Emily was skeptical about this, at best. It seemed like Reid searched his mind for any old harebrained idea, and chose the only person he could think of to fill the void for Taylor. It was the consequence of focusing on your job, and not having many friends.

"Because she was targeted and shot, too, in her home, by one of our unsubs. She almost died. If that wasn't enough, she's am expert in sex crimes. I almost guarantee you if she knew Taylor's story and the situation, she would offer to stay with her before I could even ask her to. It's the kind of person she is." He was already trying to mentally recall where he had left his cell phone when clothes fell about the floor. He had picked his clothing up and organized it while Taylor was in the bathroom, not wanting her to see his place as a mess, even if she's the one who helped make it. His pocket was absent of his cell phone, so it must have slid somewhere. Always thinking, that Spencer Reid.

"Wait a minute, you said she was shot? Are you sure she's stable enough to stay with Taylor? What if she reacts just the same as Taylor does to certain triggers?" Emily's face fell. She trusted Reid, and mostly trusted his judgement in people, despite his naivety that he still carried with him like an old friend. She saw the way he looked at Taylor and knew he'd never hurt her, but this was something she was thinking twice about. She could see where he found the two would be a match, but she could also see this going terribly wrong.

"The odds of her doing that are nearly negligible. Although Elle once suffered from a broken psyche, I'm confident it was a thing of the past, and that having Taylor be around someone who can relate to her in a way we can't would be good for her." Reid's mind was racing, thinking about what he would say to Elle when he called, how he would present it. He knew this was a fortunate situation for Taylor, and she'd be lucky to have Elle around to learn from. He didn't even notice Emily's skepticism in his euphoria of being right.

"Reid, I don't even know this woman. Neither does Taylor, and you know how she is. She's only going to get worse when she has a daughter to protect. How confident are you that this woman is really stable after what happened to her? Reid, there can be no shade of gray in this. You have to know for sure that she can handle this and she's not going to spook at triggered memories. I don't know how you can be sure of anything like that. You're too smart to put that kind of confidence into something you know has no finite pattern, no status quo for how someone will heal." Emily knew that there were no guarantees with anyone who had been traumatized the way her sister and Elle had. As profilers, it was both of their jobs to know that. Reid was going off a basic profile, but what worried her the most was that he was too personally involved to have done a profile on her in the first place.

"I counseled her after she left the team. She's a strong woman, but she didn't know how to deal with this on her own, and found she was unable to talk to a stranger about what had happened to her. She called me a few weeks after she resigned, and asked me if we could get together. I offered to take her out to coffee, and she proved to me that it was deeper than that. I guess she felt it was easy to talk to me since I already knew what happened, and part of her healing was not having to relive it with someone she didn't even know. We got together for "coffee" around my schedule for a little over a year, until I knew Elle was fine in regards to what happened to her. She was just looking for someone to talk to. I thought she was beginning to develop an unhealthy attachment to me, that she was beginning to rely on me too much, so I recommended to her a guy I knew. Eventually she stopped calling me every week, but it's still nice to check in with each other from time to time." Emily raised an eyebrow, and Reid knew what she was thinking. He just shook his head, denying anything had happened between them. He couldn't imagine being remotely romantically interesting in Elle, or she in him. She was just suffering from transference.

"If you're the one who cleared her, who decided she was mentally stable, then I trust you, but I don't know that Taylor will, though." A hurt look crossed Reid's face. Emily acknowledged it by quickly back tracking over what she had just said. "I...I don't mean that I think she won't trust you, but she probably won't trust someone she doesn't know. I'd like to meet this woman, to get a feel for her, but unfortunately Taylor is leaving tomorrow and I have to go back to work, so there's no time. I'm going to have to put my faith in you, Dr. Reid. I know where you work if you let me down."

"That's reassuring." Reid's voice was off put, a little offended, but he finally came down off of his high horse and was beginning to see Emily's side of things, and where her doubts originated from.

"I didn't mean it that way." Emily gave him a half smile, trying to reassure his insecurities that she was just picking on him about the last part.

"I think I know that. I'll call Elle in the morning, if you're sure you're okay with that." Now that he saw Emily's side of things, his mind was racing back and forth a million miles a minute, wondering why she gave him a little bit of room for grace. He saw the way her attitude changed with him because of Taylor, and the way she was putting this in his hands, when he didn't even know if he trusted himself completely.

"You shouldn't be asking me that. You should be asking Taylor. I'm surprised with her mouth, that she hasn't weighed in on this." Emily appreciated that Reid had spoken to her and only to her this whole time.

It let Emily know that he knew she was on the same page as him; looking out for Taylor's well being and best interests. He wanted to speak with someone with a clear mind, someone who knew more about Taylor than he thought Taylor may know about herself, and make sure she was comfortable. Ultimately, though, Taylor wasn't about to do anything she didn't want to, so she had to agree to it for this to work.

"I would, but I think she might be sleeping. I think she has been for awhile." Reid noticed her breathing evening out almost immediately after she fell against him. He knew she had to be tired with the way her mind was running in circles, spinning to make sense of the way life had crashed into her suddenly.

"Taylor." Emily reached over and touched her sister's shoulder. She didn't even flinch at this, too wrapped up in the blanket, and Reid, to care. "I think she is. Huh, how about that. Reid, I trust you. I see how you treat my sister, how you got through when no one else could, not even me. If anything, I'm jealous of you."

"What? Of me? Why?" He had always been the one jealous of everyone around him. No one was ever jealous of the socially awkward nerd that couldn't keep up with anyone around him. In fact, he found himself jealous of Emily many times, and her natural understanding of the world around her. This felt backwards to him.

"Look at the way she's lying up against you. She has her hand around your waist, indicating she trusts you; that you're her safety zone. The way she her fingers wrapped around your shirt indicates that she's not only protecting you, but also marking you, saying that you're hers and she doesn't want you to go away. The way she's sleeping after being as frightened as she was, after having the worst memories of her life triggered, speaks for itself." Emily watched her sister, not able to remove her eyes from how peaceful she looked. Her sister always had a wild streak, she was always unsettled. You could see it in her even when she slept, that she wanted to run with the wild horses just to say she was free. Now, you would never be able to tell. Maybe that's no longer what she wanted. What she wanted, she had her arm around.

"I don't know why she likes me." Reid hadn't meant to say anything, but it just came out. He was thinking out loud, prepared to lose her at any moment, despite the way she was acting toward him.

"Me either, but she does." Emily pried her eyes away from her sister to look Reid in the eye. She smiled when she saw the shocked, cold look on his face; maybe even an offended look. "Reid, I'm kidding. You're a great guy. I'm not going to lie and say I hoped this would happen, because work is going to be awfully awkward when I finally return tomorrow. But I will say that I always hoped she would fall for a guy who looked at her like she was the only thing he saw in the world. Someone who wanted to vehemently protect her and stand by her side when the chips were down. You've far surpassed that just by being her rock, by getting her through something I didn't know if I could even get her through. You came into her life blind, and you were the only one who could see the true her. She had never been stripped away to her core like she was when I brought her to stay with me, and you didn't take advantage of that. I assume she's told you about her past, and that bastard of a husband she was married to. I wanted so hard to protect her from any guy like that again, and I never thought I'd feel secure with anyone she was with again, but with you I know she's safe. You still have a lot to learn about her, and the road ahead is scarier and becoming harder than the road behind, but I have no doubt that, if you stay with her, if you show her that you're there for her, you will get it back tenfold plus. She's a great girl, Reid. I can't tell you what to do, and I know you're about to come into a lot of responsibility that you shouldn't have to shoulder, but for the first time in my life, I feel like something might be right about love."

"Love? No one said anything about love. I don't even know what love feels like." Reid was running his mouth, afraid of what Emily was saying, afraid she had gotten the wrong impression, but more afraid that she was right. He hadn't put much thought into it, only knowing he felt what he felt and was fine with it, but what if he did feel more than he wanted to admit? He wouldn't know until they were truly together in a real relationship, and time had passed, but Emily had the potential to be right.

"That's what they all say." Emily smiled, sure of herself. Reid's reaction, the way he was unsure of his self, proved to her what she already knew. He loved her. He just didn't know it this soon in the relationship. The feeling went both ways.

"They? Who's they?" Reid rarely liked when someone mentioned the nameless, faceless, ominous they. It was like keeping up with the Joneses. If you didn't know who they were specifically, you could never really keep up with them.

"All the people who are in love for the first time, new and special, and know it's too soon to admit it, even though they feel it." Reid just looked at her and scrunched up his face. "What? You're not the only one who can be right about things. You'll see."

"Why did you come here at midnight again?" Reid tried to change the subject quickly, thinking of the only thing he could to say. Sure, Emily had told him how she got there, but not really why she was there. He knew her saying she was there to talk to him was why she was there in that moment, since they were alone, and not why she had come. Anything to throw the conversation on herwas good enough for him.

"To collect my sister and make sure she got enough sleep so she was awake enough to make the drive tomorrow. Like I said before, I know she's safe here with you, but I also know the things her Reid-loving mind wants to do when she's with you, even though I'd like to erase that knowledge from my mind. If she was here with you all night, I knew she'd be severely lacking in sleep. It's a mom thing to do, I know." Even Emily rolled her eyes at that. She promised she would never be as overprotective as her mother was, or try to micromanage the things her sister did. Now here she was, and even though it was for her own good, it was probably knowing that was the reason she was doing what she was that made it worse. She hated when her mom gave her that reason.

"Wait, you were going to take her home with you and make her sleep because she's driving?" Reid said this in question form. Emily studied him for a moment, until she was sure he had confused her, and possibly his own self.

"What part confused you?" Maybe it was the hour of night it was. Everything and everyone seemed to dim a little after the sun fell from the sky, but especially after it had hidden itself for awhile.

"No, I'm not confused. I guess I just didn't realize she was driving. I mean, if I think about it, I think I already knew that, but you saying that made me realize just how much I don't like that idea. It's easily a fifteen hour drive on a good day. Factor in any inclement weather conditions, mixed with her speed, traffic, how may rest stops she makes, and her level of exhaustion and awareness, it could easily take her upwards of eighteen hours. She didn't specify if she was planning on making the trip up in one day, but regardless, I don't particularly feel secure in her making that drive alone. There's a number of things that could happen to her. You know, you do the same job that I do. If this is about her not having the money to fly..." Emily cut in, not allowing his rant to go any further. It was likely he would never stop, as was normal when Reid got on a roll.

"It's not. She's worried about Cecilia. She's never been on a plane before, and the adjustment is going to be hard enough on her as it is. She doesn't even know how she's going to do on that long of a car ride, forget putting her on a plane. She's afraid it will terrify her. Plus, she's going to be bringing a bunch of Cecilia's things back. I told her I'd at least fly her out there and pay for her to rent a vehicle for the drive back, but she wasn't having it. I caved and told her she could take my vehicle. It should give her enough room to haul Cecilia's current possessions back, the one's she's been surviving with in state care, enough to make her feel comfortable. The rest she's planning on having shipped down when the estate is settled, but she can't touch it until then. Between you and me, I don't like this either, not one bit. I think she's just asking for trouble, and the behavior she displayed tonight scared me even more." Emily paused, looking up to focus on Reid. "Reid, is there any way you could ask her if you could go along? I hate to ask you this, it's wrong of me, but I've already tried with her. She doesn't want me to go with her. I wanted to ask you before, but we got a little sidetracked."

"Oh, I already did. I, too, got shut down. She was pretty dead set on going alone." He hadn't liked it then, but he liked it less now. Knowing Emily was also worried brought no peace to his mind.

"I thought that may be the case. I didn't like it before, and after tonight I'm seriously starting to have second opinions about a lot of things with her." Emily tried not to admit it, and she tried to handle this rationally, while standing gently in Taylor's corner, but she couldn't deny it any longer. Everything was rushing into her as she realized tomorrow was coming fast, and her fears were very real.

"Things other than her being a mom?" Emily's face was as white as a ghost, her eyes distant.

"I'm not worried about her being a mom; she'll be amazing at it and every part of the last six years of her life have worked up to this point. Everything she's done has revolved around it. I'm worried about her being alone, and about all the things that could trigger another episode like tonight. I'm worried that because of that, she's not going to be able to get a job, and she won't be able to hold up her end of what her social worker expects. She needs time, but the state doesn't care about time. Time doesn't raise a child." Part of the deal with the social worker was that she would have a solid job, one that could sustain she and Cecilia comfortably, and she had to do it in six months.

Emily knew that Taylor had talked about going back to being a nurse, hoping to work the same as hours as Cecilia was in school, but now she didn't even think she was going to be able to do that. It was funny to think that just this morning, she had so much hope for her sister. She truly thought she was fine. She didn't even see this in her future. It made her wonder what else she had missed, what else happened right under her nose, or other signs she showed of still being panicked, that she had missed. She felt guilty, if nothing else.

"No, but support does, and she has that. As far as Taylor working, honestly Emily, I think if she's pushed into it now, too soon, it's possible she's going to shut herself down inside just to be able to deal with her own fears. She'll still be a great mom, and outwardly she'll seem fine, but she's not going to be herself and none of us want that for her. She was talking about going back to being a nurse, but after tonight I'm worried she'll see herself in every victim that comes through that door, and unfortunately there's a lot of bad people out there, a lot of people who will be admitted after being harmed by another person." Reid had thought this initially, but he didn't want to burst her bubble by saying anything. He was hoping if he had a few days to think while she was gone, he could come up with something more than half baked to pitch at her, and hopefully talk her into. Everything was coming to a head here and now, and decisions had to be made immediately, instead.

"What's she going to do, though, Reid? If she doesn't work, she loses Cecilia. If she goes back to work, she may suffer from emotional turmoil she won't recover from. Then there's the fact that even if you do get Elle to stay with her, she's not a babysitter. It's one thing to ask her to stay with Taylor and Cecilia when we can't, but it's another to expect her to watch a heavily autistic child on her own." It was rhetorical question; in fact, everything she said was rhetorical, no come back needed, a panicked moment in Emily's mind. "Maybe she shouldn't even go tomorrow."

"I...I don't agree with that, Emily. I think she has to, for her. I know where you're coming from, and I'm not saying that I totally disagree with it, but I know from her emotions and her body language that she doesn't just want this, she needs this. This is a defining moment for her entire existence and being. If she's denied this, I'm concerned she'll suffer more emotional damage than she would if she went and retrieved Cecilia tomorrow. I think maybe we're looking at this wrong. Instead of taking her to the job, maybe she needs us to bring the job to her. That way, she could be home all the time with Cecilia, but still bringing in money, which would insure her no further issues with social services." Reid was thoughtful again, and Emily was becoming worried about all the over thinking he was doing tonight. His brain had to have a limit before explosion, right?

"You don't listen to the news or read newspapers, do you?" Reid pursed his lips together, pausing to ponder this as if she had asked him to name the seven dwarves in alphabetical order, and then ultimately shook his head.

"No. I've been in law enforcement long enough to know that most of the things reported on the news are false to some degree. Just look at the way JJ would spin things for our team to make sure that, if the unsub was watching the news, he only heard what we needed him to hear in order to catch him. Since I generally don't learn anything from the news, I don't watch it." Despite working with Reid for years, he somehow found a way to surprise her at least once per conversation. She tried to not show it, but even after all this time, her poker face wasn't fine tuned.

"You are...really boring. How my crazy sister fell for you, I am positive I will never understand, but that's beyond the point. I'm assuming since you don't watch the news, you're also oblivious to the fact that the economy has taken a pretty hard hit. Jobs aren't easy to find to begin with, but jobs at home where people can raise their kids, they're almost impossible to find." Reid nodded, not understanding at first. He had to absorb the information. He was primped and primed for the job he had, and because of that, it came easily to him. In his minds, jobs always came easy to people. He had to process that everyone wasn't him and he was, well, wrong. That was hard enough to swallow.

"I have to think about this some more. Perhaps I hadn't thought this out as well as I wanted to." He sighed, feeling like tonight was filled with the stench of pure fail, but he smelled sex on himself and on Taylor, so somehow that balanced everything out to a hope of a better morning.

As for Emily, on the other hand, he wasn't so sure. She seemed more worried than Taylor about all of this, possibly because she was thinking it out more than Taylor was. Things were always clearer from the outside looking in. But he didn't have the answers he wished he did. Things weren't going to be easy, not by a long shot, and he, too, wondered if things would all work out in the end. He didn't like not having all the answers.

"Perhaps, but I'm done thinking for the night. I need to get some sleep, and you should, too. We both have work in the morning." The more Emily thought it out, every time she brought it up, it hurt her more. Part of her wanted to shut down what was going to happen tomorrow, but she knew she'd only blame herself and she should, as it would be all her fault.

She's the one who fought for Taylor, who stood up for her and encouraged her, and even filled out paperwork on Taylor's behalf. She's the one who wanted to see this happen for Taylor more than anything, especially knowing her past and how much this meant to her. She just wanted to see Taylor unbroken for the first time in six years. In doing that, she hadn't stopped to think long enough to see all the problems with this plan. When she thought Taylor was stable, there were still enough problems to make her think about second guessing it, but she could excuse herself and see how she thought this was a good idea. What she couldn't forgive was that she hadn't seen that Taylor wasn't healed yet.

"That we do. What are we going to do about her?" Reid pointed to Taylor almost as if he had to, like Emily wouldn't know who he was talking about if he didn't. Typical Reid.

"She's sleeping on you, so you're stuck with her now. As long as she gets some sleep, that's all I care about." It was stupid of her to come here, especially so late at night. She knew that before she had done it.

She just had to check on her sister, or at least that's what she told herself. That was part of it, but the other part wanted to make sure she had been honest with Reid, because it was keeping her up tonight. She just couldn't face him at work tomorrow wondering if he knew where his girlfriend was, what she was doing, and that the world as he knew it was about to come to an abrupt, frigid halt.

"That's not what I meant, but that's good to know. What are we going to do about her driving alone?" Reid's mind couldn't help but be haunted by all the things that could happen to a young girl alone, traveling hundreds of miles away. Add the fact that she was mentally compromised, and the odds of her becoming pray to someone who was mentally sick and twisted went up considerably.

"What can we do? She's Taylor. She's going to do what she wants to do. Although we're worried and have every reason to be, we just have to let her go. If we don't, she'll just end up resenting us, and if she doesn't have us, she doesn't have anyone in her corner. We have to trust that she knows herself better than we know her." Emily cringed even as she said that.

She didn't like it either, not one bit, as she had hashed and rehashed several times, both aloud and in her mind. She'd lay down her life for her sister, and knowing that she was possibly putting not only her, but her heavily autistic daughter in danger, made something inside of her fight not to break down. But at the end of the day, she knew she'd only be met with resistance and anger the more she fought Taylor, ultimately leaving her with no viable thing to do.

"What if she doesn't? What if she can't yet?" It was a good thing Taylor wasn't awake, a fact neither let merely pass through their minds. She would fighting, kicking and screaming emotionally for some room to breathe. All they were trying to do was state the obvious, and to help her because they cared.

"Then we try not to think about that." Her voice was cold, attempting to keep all her emotions in check. This clearly upset Reid, as evident by the look on his face. "Reid, you have to trust me on this. I know you see through Taylor in a way that I can't, but I've known her longer, and I've patterned her behavior. You have to drop this. Promise me you will. And also promise me you will get her into the bedroom and not have sex with her, so that the both of you can get some sleep."

"I promise." Reid know that's what Emily was fishing for, however, he only said he promised once, so he felt he was technically exempt from holding up to both promises if he so chose to do so.

"All right, then I'm going to pull the mom card again. Get her up and get her to bed; you too, and I'm going to get out of here. I need sleep, too." Emily got off the couch, knowing they had beat this conversation into the ground not once, but twice in the time she had been there. Instead of reaching for her jacket, she went toward his kitchen, reaching for some paper towels.

"What are you doing?" Reid wanted to ask her how he was supposed to wake Taylor from her sleep without her getting angry at him, but that came out instead. Sometimes his mouth and brain didn't coordinate so well.

"Cleaning up the mess she made." Reid looked at her like she was within the likes of a serial killer, and just that crazy. "I know it's stupid. You don't have to tell me that, but I kind of feel responsible. I'm the one who scared her. This is a nice place you have here, Reid, and I would hate to have her wreck any part of your house. You know, since you can do that so well on your own."

"It was one kitchen fire!" Reid threw his hands up and nearly pulled himself off of his seat, but the weight of Taylor held him down. He immediately stopped talking, staying still, and then taking a few deep breathes, and checking Taylor to make sure he hadn't woken her like he so easily could have.

"Which is one more than most people have in a lifetime. And to think I'm trusting you with the thing closest to my heart." Emily sopped up the mess, glad that the coffee hadn't stained anything like she imagined it would. She would have reimbursed Reid for her sister's shortcomings, but the floor looked like it could have cost a pretty penny more than she wanted to spend. She was financially responsible for plus two now, and she couldn't afford to put out anything that she didn't have to.

"I don't know if I like you right now." His voice had every indication of deflection, done with the grace and innocence of a twelve year old.

"And I don't know that I wanted to see you naked ever. Actually, I do know, and no offense, but the answer is never in a million years. However, you see how that worked out. So I think I'm good with you not liking me, especially if it means I'll never have to see you naked again." She would never forget that as long as she lived. It was the thing nightmares were made out of. No one was ever meant to see their coworker naked, unless he was a hot, hot hunk of meat. Reid was a nerd, a nice nerd and a good person, but too nerdy for her to want to see naked.

"Mine! Naked! Mine!" Taylor began to mumble in a creepy way indicative to that thing from Lord of the Rings that insisted the ring was his. Then she cackled.

"She is still sleeping, right?" Emily cocked her head, seeing if she saw any movement within her sister indicating she was awake.

"I'm afraid so. You can't leave me here with her. That can't be normal." Reid moved his hands away from her, trying to wiggle out from under her, in a dead stop because of her weight. He was utterly disturbed by her, and he was beginning to panic, his eyes looking at Emily, trying to find some comfort in her telling him this was normal for her sister.

"No it can't. I'll see you in the office tomorrow. Toodles." Emily made a quick escape, fully intending on leaving Reid to freak out over how her sister managed to stay asleep, but still follow the conversation and become possessive of what she felt was hers. It was something she had done since she was a child.

That and she had woken up sometime during their conversation, but in order to hear what they were saying, faked being sleep. It was her age old trick. She had freaked Reid out on purpose. Emily figured the longer she could avoid telling Reid that, the more to her benefit it could be. Torturing Reid was more fun than she'd like to let her maturity admit to. But with tomorrow ahead and the past behind, she found little reassurance in the conversation the night brought, hoping the weight of the world and the scared little girl who was still ready to run and hide at any given trigger, would somehow find a way to fall upon someone else, someone stronger, who wasn't trying to make a fresh life for themselves. And a life of her own is what Taylor finally deserved.


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, and adds this story to their alerts and favorites. You all own my heart. This chapter should start to set things in motion for finally...I know, finally, having Cecilia and Reid meet. Also, fair warning, this chapter is long. I was going to split it in two, but then didn't have the heart. _

_Phasha18 – Thanks for the review! You are awesome and I hope you know it. That is all. _

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review! You are so wonderful and complimentary, and I appreciate that so very much! I'm sorry it took me a little while to update, but Reid will be meeting Cecilia soon; very, very soon. I have this all masterminded and am excited and nervous about writing it._

_SpemilyFan – Thanks for the review! Oh, darling, thank you! I was so concerned about that last chapter that I wrestled with even posting it, and then reworked it and hated it, and was considering reworking it again when I took the plunge. I'm glad it came across well! _

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! Yes! I'm glad you loved the ending! I wanted to add a little bit of funny into the conversation or it just wouldn't be Taylor and Reid. Cecilia will be coming into the picture very, very soon! I am working on that chapter as we speak. I hope it's everything you've been wanting. _

**Chapter 10**

**The Unfairness of a Rag Doll**

"Morgan, I have a problem!" Reid flew into the office like a wind storm the following morning, a little late, wearing whatever clothing he could find that looked remotely like it matched, definitely disheveled. He almost knocked Morgan over with his enthusiasm and upset misstep.

"No, Kid, you _almost_ had a problem. You almost spilled my coffee. Right now all you have is a dilemma." Morgan decided to walk past Reid and to his desk, hoping Reid would follow. If Morgan could just sit down and sit his coffee on a solid surface, hopefully Reid would do the same. It wasn't so much the fact that Reid didn't sit and was fidgety that bothered Morgan, but the fact that Reid hadn't gotten coffee for himself. "All right, out with it. I have work to do, and so do you. You don't want Hotch to catch you standing here talking my ear off."

"Is Emily here yet?" Reid's eyes shifted back and fourth, knowing he was about to betray her and Taylor's confidence, but wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. The situation at hand was tearing him apart.

"If she is, I haven't seen her. What is up with you, Kid, because right now you're acting like you're hyped up on something again..." Reid interrupted, not having time to listen to Morgan slowly drone on about how he wasn't himself and a lot of other things he wouldn't pay attention to.

"My girlfriend is driving to Chicago today, picking up her daughter, and then driving the whole way back by herself. I've been up all night thinking about this, and I just don't think I'm comfortable with it. Not only is she going to be driving a total of at least thirty hours herself, not factoring in rest stops or possible inclement weather, but she was attacked in Chicago a year and a half ago and almost killed, so I don't feel safe with her going back out there alone. Besides, statistics are against her. The amount of things that could happen to her are unbelievable. If you add to that her traveling with a mentally deficient child, the odds of her having a completely safe, trouble free trip are nearly negligible." Reid stopped talking, trying not to go into one of his rants and take up too much of his own time. Morgan was grateful for this, but still gave him a few seconds of leeway in case he decided to launch into more of a verbal statistical assault. Instead, Reid crossed his arms, waiting for Morgan to chime in.

"Then why are you here?" Morgan didn't think there was much of a dilemma to consider. To him, it was clear cut and dry. He tried to put all the questions he had out of his mind until he got Reid calmed down, as not to have to hear him go on and on and on about things he'd never listen to, but he held them on the tip of his tongue.

"Because she said she didn't want me to go." In a voice filled with indignant whining, Reid shot back, as if he expected Morgan to just automatically know this. The last time Morgan checked, he wasn't psychic.

"Reid, when women tell you they don't want you to go with them if the situation is even conceivably dangerous, they never mean it. They just don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do, and then hear you gripe about it. You can't let her go alone. You have presented me with points even I think are valid, and half of the time I don't understand a thing you say. And the other half, when I do, I usually tune you out at some point. You need to go tell Hotch that there's an emergency, and you're taking time off, leave here, and hope you catch her." Morgan wished Reid would listen more when he tried to tell him about the ways of women. Maybe if he had, he would understand the right thing to do. Deep down he already knew, he just needed that reassurance.

"I should. I turned her alarm off this morning and snuck out of my apartment so that I could buy myself some time to talk to you about this, even though I'm betraying her by talking to you about this, because I really shouldn't be. I haven't showered or eaten yet this morning, and I've only had one cup of coffee, but it was drive thru window coffee at a fast food chain." The alarm had been set for an unthinkable hour, but Reid over thought things and came up with a plan.

After realizing Taylor was yanking his chain last night, he got her back the hallway and into bed. He told her that he'd join her, and that he was just going to get himself a snack, since he had previously requested she bring him one back earlier in the night, to which she had said no. He took his time, and when he came back in the room, she was out cold. He spent the night thinking in the living room, so when morning rolled around he grabbed a few of his things, threw clothes on quietly, shut off the alarm on her phone, and snuck out. With any luck, and with as tired as she was, she'd still be asleep. He thought his plan was genius, but he always thought that, and they rarely worked out in his favor.

"That explains a lot." Morgan mumbled to himself, and Reid took this as a cue that he had clocked out of the conversation. He began to walk toward Hotch's office, but Morgan called after him, stopping him. "Kid, get back here. I passed over the obvious in light of the situation, but you're not getting away until you tell me..._what _girlfriend, _what _kid? What kind of life do you have outside of the BAU that you can't tell Derek Morgan about?"

Reid thought about answering him for a moment, although he didn't want to, but then saw Emily enter the offices out of the corner of his eye. She was his saving grace. "Shoot, it's Emily! I got to go talk to Hotch. Sorry! Thank you!"

"He just keeps getting weirder." Emily watched as Reid took off through the office, his lanky form looking quite hysterical half walking and half running through the bullpen. She shook her head as she approached her desk near Morgan.

"You have no idea. Welcome back. So what's going on with you, Prentiss? You look worse than he does, and I was thinking about having him drug tested. What was up with you taking some personal time off?" Emily was careful not to tell anyone but Hotch about why she needed the time. The way the morning was going, she was concerned she'd no longer be able to keep her lips zipped.

"Thanks. You look great, too. Tell me, how are things working out with the ladies now that you're getting old?" Morgan laughed and shook his head.

"Leave it to Prentiss to not let me get away with anything. I've missed you, girl. Tell me, though, what has you so stressed? You look like you got no sleep last night." Emily threw her business jacket over the back of her chair, taking a seat. She just felt like everything was in her way today and the sleeves of her jacket were the last things she wanted to deal with.

"I didn't. I shouldn't be saying any of this, because I don't bring my personal life to the office, but I really need someone to talk to right now, and you're here. Between us, my sister is driving to Chicago today by herself to pick up her daughter, and then turning around and coming right back. I offered to go with her, but she won't let me. I'm worried about her, you know. A single women driving that far alone, with all the things we see in our line of work is unsettling enough, but considering I took a year off to go through a trial with her because some psychopath tried to kill her a year and a half ago, I just don't think it's a good idea." Emily knew she could talk to Morgan, and she, like Reid, just needed someone neutral to talk to. She spilled enough for Morgan to put together what was going on, even though she felt like she was betraying her sister's confidence by telling her team about her personal life. For all the reasons she already knew, she couldn't help herself.

In all fairness, she hadn't planned on bringing that into the office, but she was so completely shot by this point in time, she just let it all fly without meaning to. The team would find out eventually, especially when they watched hers and Reid's relationship change in front of them. It would raise red flags she'd rather avoid. She was so stressed, she just needed someone to spill things to, anyway. Besides, the only team members not in on this that she knew of were Morgan, Rossi and Seaver. Seaver may not notice, but the other two would pry at either she or Reid at any differential notice, until they cracked.

"MY MAN!" Morgan called after Reid, who was standing outside of Hotch's door, waiting for him to come back from wherever it is that he was. The whole bullpen turned around to face him. Morgan looked down, pretending he hadn't said anything, and then at Emily to clarify why he had just yelled, as she was looking at him the funniest. "You do know he's dating your sister?"

"I knew they slept together a year ago, and there were feelings there, but it was official for me last night when she didn't come home and I tracked her to Reid's apartment to make sure she was okay. Wait, you didn't? Garcia didn't tell you?" Although Garcia had promised she wouldn't breathe a word of it, everyone had their one tell, and Morgan was always hers. Emily figured Morgan had at least heard about her being scarred for life. This was all news to Morgan, though.

"Tell me what?" Morgan didn't like being left in the dark, especially not from Garcia. He thought she shared everything with him, even what she wasn't allowed to share. Then, for it to be about Reid, and to find out he had also kept the same thing from him just, quite frankly, confused him.

"Never mind. You don't want to know." Emily shut him down, not wanting to throw her sister's sex life all over the office. Still, she spoke the truth. If she and Garcia couldn't tolerate the thought of Reid naked, it would not nothing for Morgan, either.

"Well that's the thing, because now you got me curious." Something had been going on right under his nose, and he wasn't about to pass up the chance to find out what it was. Giving up and hardly in the mood to play cat and mouse, Emily gave in, knowing she'd prove to him that he really didn't want to know, and the next time she said that, he wouldn't ask again.

"She caught Reid and my sister naked on my sofa bed last year." Morgan, who was sipping his coffee, found himself choking on it. It took him a moment to get it together, having not expected to hear that.

"Ew! You're right, I didn't want to know that." He promised himself he would never question Emily again when she said that. Ever.

"Told you." Prentiss shrugged, looking at the files that Hotch had placed on her desk to christen her first day back at work. Paperwork; what a way to start your day.

"Told you. Smart aleck." Morgan mocked her in a playful way, but the attention was soon pulled from him when Reid went flying in between the pair's desks and went for the door, interrupting the two.

"Where is he off to? The way he's running around here, you would think someone lit his underwear on fire." Morgan and Emily both watched him as he slammed the button to the elevator, rocking back and forth on his feet all nervous like. She was disappointed she had gotten into work as late as she did and missed whatever had made him act so weird when she entered. She would have liked to have known that whole ordeal.

"You don't know how close you are. He's chasing after that sister of yours to try to catch her before she leaves for Chicago. He has the same concern you do." Emily's eyes darted between Reid and Morgan, seeing if Morgan was serious and watching how fast Reid got into the elevator. She stood up, seeing as this was the truth.

"Oh...that's not going to go well. When my sister says no, you don't push her." Emily threw her business jacket back on, catching Hotch stepping toward her to welcome her back. She had other ideas. "Hotch, I'm taking the day off."

Hotch tried to call after her as she raced out the door the same way Reid had. He didn't know what was going on, as Reid hadn't bothered to explain in a way that he could grasp the situation. He did a lot of tripping over his words until Hotch finally let him go, knowing that his head was elsewhere. Reid was never like this, so Hotch knew it was urgent and worth it. He also now knew that whatever was going on must have effected the two of them. He just hoped Morgan could clarify since he had seen the both of them talking to him already this morning.

"What's wrong with them?" Hotch looked down at Morgan. He was suddenly hating that he knew what he did, because they had left him to pass it on.

"At the risk of sounding like my momma at the nail salon, Prentiss' sister is driving to Chicago to pick up her daughter today, and then driving back alone. Her sister doesn't want anyone to go with her, but Reid decided he couldn't let her go alone, Prentiss realized where this was going to go wrong, and there you have what just happened." Both of them turned and watched as Emily continued to pound the keys to the elevator just as anxiously as Reid had. Hotch was slightly amused by the situation at hand, although he didn't want to admit it. He liked when his team talked about their family and took care of them, because sometimes he thought this job forced them to forget that's what was really important.

"Wait, why does Reid care about Emily's sister?" He could understand why Emily cared about her own sister, but he didn't know where Reid came into the equation. He wasn't exactly the epitome of compassion.

"She's his girlfriend." Morgan was still confused about how all of that happened, shocked, and a little proud of Reid. If Taylor looked anything like Emily, he had found himself a honey. He made a mental note to either meet this girl or see pictures.

"Since when does Reid have a girlfriend?" Hotch felt like he must be getting old, missing out on his team's day to day lives. He thought he was a better profiler than this. Surely he would have seen a change in Reid had he been with someone.

"Apparently since last year when Baby Girl caught the two of them naked together." It was then that Garcia happened to walk up behind the two, completely mortified. She had only caught two people naked together once in her life, so she immediately knew of whom they were speaking.

"Who told you that? I didn't tell you that!" She gasped out the words, upset since she wouldn't ever break her promise and spill the beans.

"Prentiss did." Garcia's hand flung to her mouth as she tried to figure out the correct response. She didn't think Emily would have given that away, but she knew that it was her first day back. Garcia was just coming to see if she was there yet. Who knew what she had missed.

"Oh my...I didn't...I promised I wouldn't tell. Can we talk about something else? You two gossip more than women in a nail salon." She threw the conversation back at them, trying to avoid getting herself in further trouble. She wouldn't say more than she had to, but if someone pushed, she knew she'd cave, especially when it was her gorgeous chocolate God.

"This is when I leave." Hotch had socialized enough for one day, knowing his rank as superior was slowly dwindling down to a friend position. Even if it wasn't, he didn't want to be compared to women in a nail salon any day of the week.

"I need to borrow your car." Without even noticing Emily had not gotten on the elevator she was waiting so anxiously for, she returned to Morgan's desk, standing over him, out of breath, with her hand out.

"What? Why?" His brain was still trying to catch up and make sense out of the weirdest ten minutes of his life.

"Because I dropped mine off along with my car at Reid's apartment this morning for my sister to take and took a cab to work. I don't want to go through that again, so please just give me your keys or I swear to..." Not only was Garcia's guilt for doing nothing eating at her, but she wanted to douse the situation as quickly as possible, before Emily had a potty mouth moment. She had a bad case of word vomit, wanting Emily to know that if she had heard any of their conversation, she hadn't said a word about Reid and Taylor, even after she knew Morgan knew.

"I promise I didn't tell anyone about your sister and Reid. Oh God, and Hotch knows now, too, and I promise it wasn't me." Garcia was panicking in that sweet little way that she did. The one thing about Garcia was that she wore her heart all over her sleeve, and you knew she was honest when she apologized. She took on guilt like a boat takes on water once it is plagued with a hole.

"You told Hotch?" Turning to Morgan, Emily sounded distressed, and her arms proved she was when she threw them out, but it wasn't in frustration. It, too, was in guilt for betraying more of her sister's confidence than she had to. There were things Hotch needed to know, but Reid and Taylor being a couple was not one.

"Hotch needed to know why both yourself and Reid went flying out of here so quickly. Apparently neither of you can explain yourselves, and I was trying to save your jobs." Morgan may have been exaggerating just a little with his reasoning, but although that wasn't the pure and honest truth, the reason he told Hotch remained the same. He didn't need to see Emily and Reid in trouble for something that had a good explanation, and Hotch didn't pry too much. He never did.

"Oh, Taylor is going to kill me. She never wanted my colleagues to know about her life, which is why I told you all I had a sister and nothing more. She's a very private person and now everyone knows everything. Not to mention that now Reid is going to be embarrassed. He doesn't want to hear you make suggestively encouraging comments toward him about his love life, and I don't want to hear it either. Got it?" Finger pointing commenced, and Emily did what she could to keep her hand far enough from Morgan's face that he couldn't bite at it. She didn't think he would, but if she'd learned anything in the last year it was that people will surprise you.

"If she kills you, she's going to have to kill Reid, too, because he's the one who told me about the two of them." Words were the only defense that Morgan had in honor of non violence. He wanted it to be clear, more so than he obviously was earlier, that Reid had spilled the beans prior to Emily saying anything about her sister, and ultimately acted alone in presenting his relationship with Taylor.

"We can just pretend like this never happened. I don't want to be behind the computer typing my little life away to find the whereabouts of your cute little sister after she murders two federal agents. And I promise infinity that I never breathed a word to anyone. It was all you and Reid." Garcia was tapping her pen nervously on the ever present files she had in her hands, the top of her fluffy pen bouncing back and forth in an almost comedic like manner. That was just Garcia, though. Even when upset, she still carried an absolute air of whimsy.

"I know, Garcia. It's okay. You're a better friend to Taylor than we are, apparently. I guess Reid and I just needed some outside consulting on the current situation, and Morgan was the first person we both found." Sighing, Emily accepted her fate, and that she would have to be fair to her sister and admit her own shortcomings, even if it would never matter. She knew how Taylor was, though, and she couldn't take the chance that someday, somehow, she'd find out that everyone else knew about her life, and her privacy was breached.

"Thanks." Morgan's voice carried an air of offense. He never thought of himself as a great guy, but he surely didn't want someone to spill the beans to him because he was simply there. He felt dejected enough that Reid hadn't told him about his own relationship, when he had always been in Reid's corner when it came to that. He was hoping he'd be the first one Reid would tell.

"Always. Anyway, I'm willing to pretend like this never happened and Taylor never has to know, if you are, as long as someone gives me their keys. I have to catch Reid or else we will all be tracking her down after she leaves Reid lying on the sidewalk in cold blood." She lied, enough of a profiler to know how to do it well enough to slide under the radar. She would tell Taylor, even though she didn't want to, but she'd never tell them she told her. She just wanted out of here and would say anything to make them happy. She was already several minutes behind Reid.

"Here, take mine. Morgan can take me home." Garcia fished her keys from inside her little dress pocket where she had forgotten to take them out of when she locked up her car. There was a kitschy kitty keychain on her keys, which surprised Emily not.

"Thanks, Garcia. I owe you one." Before Garcia had a chance to throw one of her of cheery quips Emily's way, she was already off, back at the elevator and slamming her fingers on the button, telling it consistently to "come on" and,"hurry up"

"Should we call and warn Reid she's coming after him and she's mad?" Once Emily entered the elevator, Garcia turned to Morgan, mortified at seeing Emily that fired up. She was scared for Reid. It would be shame to see him go out that way.

"I'm already on that. It would reverse everything I thought I've ever taught Reid if he gets his butt kicked by two women today." Morgan dialed Reid's number and was just waiting for him to pick up. Although Reid was driving, he still picked up anyway, automatically assuming it was Hotch without looking at the number.

"Reid here." He tried to sound casual, although he was worried Hotch would question him endlessly, or scold him for taking off the way he had. His mind was too focused on his girlfriend to say anything that would allow him to keep his job, and he knew that.

"It's Morgan. I just thought I'd warn you that Emily's about ten minutes behind you and she is mad." Reid fiddled to put his phone on speaker without looking away from the road. Ultimately, he was unable to do so, so he slowed down, driving like a grandpa on top of being a not so snappy driver anyway. People were going to be tooting soon.

"How did she know where I was going?" He knew the answer before he even asked, but he did it anyway, if not rhetorically, just to throw it back in Morgan's face and let him know he was caught, and Reid was a little angry at him. All of his actions told Morgan, a fellow profiler who obviously caught his cues, that he didn't want what he said to be talked about with anyone else, especially not Emily.

"I may have accidentally let it slip that you were chasing after he sister when I put two and two together. In my defense..." With the best parts of his mind still focused elsewhere, Reid didn't so much as want to hear Morgan try to defend something he never could.

"You have no defense. If you screw this up for me..." Morgan, sympathetic to Reid's plight, but also not wanting to listen to him go into a ramble, repaid the favor.

"I'm not going to screw this up for you, Kid. Just relax. If I wanted to, I wouldn't have given you any warning. Prentiss is no one to be afraid of." Even Garcia knew Morgan was lying, although she was frightened how much he had perfected it being in the face of unsubs over the years. Reid caught it, too, and decided to tell him about it.

"Then why didn't you tell her you were the one who encouraged me to go after her sister?" He waited patiently for an answer. He didn't have to have been there to know Morgan was the one who told Emily where he was taking off to, leaving her to take off after him in the first place. He knew Morgan.

"So tell me, how is her sister?" Avid on getting off the subject of his own faults as quickly as possible, and also off the phone with Reid before he could be blamed for anything else he may or may not have done, he quickly tried to change the subject to make Reid uncomfortable.

"You're avoiding the subject, and I explained this to you already." Reid rolled his eyes and waved at someone as they passed him, giving him the finger. He knew he shouldn't be on the phone, but he was trying to get off of it and to his girlfriend. He didn't care about cranky people any longer.

"I'm not asking how she is emotionally. I'm asking the other way. The way Derek Morgan is curious about." Reid shook his head, having had enough of people honking their horns, enough of being slowed down by having one hand on the phone, and enough of Morgan.

"I'm hanging up now." Reid closed his phone, tossing it onto the seat and putting both hands back on the wheel. It was just in the nick of time, as he was just pulling up to his apartment building.

As he drove into the parking area, he saw Taylor angrily getting into Emily's vehicle in a pair of his sweat pants and one of his shirts. She was drowning in both, but she wasn't about to put that dress of Emily's back on and look like hooker bait at rest stops. She'd rather be as unattractive to truckers as possible.

Reid pulled his car up behind Emily's, blocking Taylor into the space. It was a bold move, but he didn't want her leaving without him. He had taken enough risks today to insure she wouldn't and nothing would stop him now.

"Oh God, it's you. Move. You're holding me up...again. Thanks for shutting my alarm off this morning, by the way. That was super of you." Taylor stood in front of him, the spare car key that Emily let her keep in case she needed the car, so she didn't have to bother her sister for keys or permission, in hand. Reid thought her head may explode, she was just that upset at him. Although she didn't yell, he remembered how she was when they first met. Seeing her attitude much resemble that worried him.

"Taylor, I'm sorry, but I'm here now. I'm going to go with you so that you don't have to go alone." Reid rarely put down his foot, but this was something he was adamant about. He tried to become more assertive than he actually was in order to achieve his final goal. He knew she saw through him, but was hoping she'd respect his trying, and give him some leeway.

"You have very decisive hearing. I already told you that I don't want you to go. I have to do this on my own. Cecilia doesn't know you. This is going to be hard enough on her what with transporting her from Chicago to here. I can't imagine the hell that will occur if you're in the car, too. No offense." Just as she shut her mouth, she saw Reid begin to open his and already knew what was going to come out, so she joined in, speaking in unison with him. "That term is an oxymoron."

When he stopped, freaked out that he was that predictable, she simply added an "I know." Reid crossed his arms, a little child-like, but he wasn't done saying what he wanted to say. He dropped re-explaining to her why that term was what it was, because he had done it before and was doubtful it would do anything but agitate her further. He couldn't deflect the problem with his genius around her, which was all he had ever taken comfort in. Having no other option, he reiterated what he came here for in a new, more finite way.

"You're not going alone. I'm not going to let you." His crossed arms only made his demeanor seem more serious and authoritative when he said this, or so he thought. He still looked childish to Taylor, so she didn't flinch.

"Oh yeah. How are you going to stop me? Sure, you can park your car there all you want, but eventually the person in front of me is going to pull out, and I can pull straight through their spot. What else do you have up your sleeve?" Taylor leaned back onto the open door, relaxing herself into it, playing it as cool as a cucumber. Really, she just wanted to grab him by the ear, shove him in his car, force him to move it, and then half run him over on her way to the open road.

"What if that person doesn't move their car today? What if this just ends up being between me and you?" He thought he was so smart, so quick with his cheeky little remark that was meant to show her up. She just rolled her eyes. You can't trick a bullshitter.

"I can wait you out. I might as well. It's not like I'm going to actually get into Chicago early enough to see my daughter tonight like I promised her, thanks to you." Cutting the air like a knife, her voice stung him. He honestly did feel bad about what he had done and was placing enough guilt on himself, regardless of the end circumstances, just because it had been his choice to deliberately mess with her things.

"If you promised her this before coming back to Virginia like I'm gathering you did, you won't have to worry about that. Autistic children aren't able to process things such as that, especially when it comes to specifics, such as dates and times. Don't get me wrong, some are, but if she's as heavily autistic as you say, she'll know you're coming, but she won't know the difference between you showing up today or tomorrow morning." This angered Taylor. Not because she didn't know Reid was right, because he was, but because she still felt like he took the option for her to keep her promise away from her when he turned her alarm off.

"She will! And it doesn't matter, because when I make a promise, I always keep it. Now you've ruined that. I'm already off to a horrible start with her because of you." Taylor promised herself she wasn't going to cry in front of Reid again, at least not for awhile and not after last night. She didn't want anyone to see her weak right now and suddenly change their minds about her taking care of her daughter. She would be able to see it in their faces, and it would kill her.

"Taylor, I promise you that keeping you from getting to your daughter at a decent hour today was not my intention. I wasn't thinking about that when I turned off your alarm. All I was thinking about was how worried I was about you traveling that far alone, the hundreds of things that could happen to you if you did, and how it would be my fault for not doing something about it. I am truly sorry." So was she.

Although there was nothing she could do, she felt undeniably guilty that Cecilia didn't know positively that she was coming today and blamed herself. Cecilia hated the phone. The voice on the other end frightened her, so she had no one to remind her that her real mom was coming for her. No one would try, because no one truly understood her or cared enough to think that she could comprehend it. In truth, it wouldn't matter to anyone but Taylor that she wasn't there today. Her absence would pass like a careless ghost.

Irregardless, Taylor wanted to be the last person in Cecilia's life that broke a promise. She didn't want to be like her husband, or like the people who adopted her who promised they'd be there for her forever. Whether it was their choice to leave her or not, they still did. With Cecilia being as heavily autistic as she was, that's all she would know. She would never understand the why. Reid's theory worked the truth in more ways than he had anticipated.

"Then prove it. Move your car." She put her foot down again, thinking she could intimidate him. She was more than surprised when she found she couldn't.

"I'm not going to do that, Taylor. You know as well as I do that you shouldn't do this alone. I know you won't admit it, especially not after last night, but you're scared to death to go back there yourself. In fact, this isn't about last night at all, so I don't want you to think it is, because we all know you can do this. That's not the issue here. We just don't want you to do it alone; _I_ don't want you to do it alone. That's no way to go through life. Where are you even staying when you do go back there? You can't be driving back without some sleep, so you have to be staying somewhere. Have you thought all of this out?" He wanted to walk over to her and take her in his arms, seeing as she was about to break, but he knew she would reject him. It hurt him somewhere deep knowing that sometimes he just couldn't soothe her, and this was one of those times.

"How much coffee have you had this morning?" Switching up her technique, she raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

She wouldn't admit it, but for a millisecond she had been concerned this was all about last night, and felt relief knowing he wasn't pushing to go for that reason. He was doing it because he cared. She still had to stay strong, though, testing his love, patience and devotion in her own way, one she knew wasn't fair, but couldn't stop her battle scarred self from doing.

"A cup on the way to work, but I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. You never answered my question." Staying the course, Reid tried to be as cold as she was being right now, attempting to use his profiling skills to match his emotions to what she needed right now, and then fill in the gaps like they would do with an unsub.

"Coffee just goes right through you sometimes, you know. I mean, I know for me personally it always makes me have to pee. And it doesn't help if you think about rivers. Nice, flowing rivers that peak into a waterfall at the end." Uncomfortably, Reid switched from one foot to another. He saw what she was doing, but it was too late to stop it. Once the thought entered your mind, it rarely went back out.

"That's not fair. Just tell me where you're staying." Trying a new tactic, Reid switched to whining, hoping she'd think it was cute. She didn't.

"I'm singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain." She burst into song, loudly, gleefully, and in a way that didn't fit her mood, but was all too fitting in a crisis such as this.

"Stop it! Just answer my question!" Before he had any say, he crossed his legs, letting his girlfriend-turned-enemy know that she could win this one. That was not what he wanted to do.

"Oh gees, you brought her, too! I hope you don't make it to the bathroom on time!" As Reid awaited the final blow, he was pleased to find that something else distracted her. Maybe now he could use mind over matter, having his problem not shoved into his mind repeatedly.

"I swear that was not my doing!" Not wanting blamed for more than he had to be, and also a little shaken in his shoes, Reid tried to slowly back out of this situation as he saw Emily exit her car and come toward him.

"Reid, a word." She saw Reid try to weasel away, so she made sure to catch him first, shooting him a look she only hoped he'd correctly interpret.

"I didn't do anything wrong! I'm here to help!" The last thing he needed was to get told off by another woman. If he was arguing with a man, the other guy would have walked away by now and left the argument unfinished and Reid confused. He was finding he much preferred that.

"I'm sure Taylor would beg to differ!" Emily worked quickly to let Taylor know she was on her side, and to gang up against Reid, still shooting him the same subtle looks. She hoped this played out in her favor.

"I do." Glad someone was on her side, she snappily agreed.

"And she would be wrong, but you still can't come here and force yourself on her. That's my job." Just when Taylor found herself lulled into a false sense of security where she imagined Emily was on her side, and mentally saw her dragging Reid back to the BAU so she could make her getaway, her sister had to go and ruin it.

Emily, on the other hand, was only beginning to realize that Reid had wanted to go with Taylor just as badly as she did. Although her original plan was to come here and talk him out of going, but talk herself into it, she suddenly couldn't do it anymore. Seeing the look on his face and the way he truly worried and cared for Taylor, she didn't now how she could allow her worst fears to be eased, while his still lingered in the balance. He wasn't just going for Taylor, but it was something he had to do for himself, too. If things were turned around, she'd find herself deeply hurt and a bit devastated.

"So you're here to yell at him so that you can send him back to his life and turn around and do exactly what he did?" These people were the weirdest, most preposterous bunch Taylor had ever met. She thought maybe instead of them profiling others, that someone needed to give them all more frequent psych evaluations.

"See! I'm not the only one who was worried about you going yourself! And I'm not going back to the office! I'm going with Taylor!" This hardly seemed fair to Reid, not getting what he wanted and someone else coming in and grabbing it in lieu.

"No, I'm going with Taylor. She's my sister." Emily held out the word sister, glaring down Reid, trying to get him in on her plan before he got too emotional and it all blew up in their faces.

"But she's my girlfriend. Besides, you've taken care of her for the last year, and I've not gotten to spend any time with her. It's my turn to take care of her." He was still angry, still childish, and she wasn't having one of her best days. Reid never was very good at picking up on anything outside of an unsub's behavior.

"Sorry, Reid. Family first." This time she went for the jugular, bringing up the one thing she knew was taboo with Reid, and the one thing he had to know she would never be low enough to bring up. She watched his eyes switch up and knew she had him.

"That's not fair, I don't have a family. I never really have. Taylor's the closest thing I have to family right now." Neither paid attention to Taylor while they spoke of such personal things. Things were getting to her slowly, though. She knew Reid had a tough life, although she didn't know the full extent, and this just melted her heart right there and then, against her own liking.

"Fine, he wins. Emily, go back to work." She couldn't help herself. It just came out. Part of her was jumping up and down in the glee of success, and the other part was silently plotting to knife the previous part of her in its sleep.

"What? No! He does not win because he has a sad life. Wait, why are you even conceding to allowing him to go? I thought you didn't want anyone to go with you! If you do, it should be me!" Instead of looking at Taylor when saying the last sentence, she looked at Reid, attempting to egg him on and let him know she'd not meant what she had said.

"It shouldn't! She picked the right person. I can make her feel better in a way you can't. You even said that last night!" Although he knew what she was getting at, he still said this with a partial air of indignation, hoping to hurt her a little in the way she had unintentionally hurt him. Sometimes it felt good to get in a small blow, although he wished he was above that.

"Yeah, maybe, but that's a hell of a thing to throw back in my face! That hurts, Reid!" Although it hadn't quite started out this way, the two had turned to genuinely bickering.

"Well, you hurt me earlier." In an honest attempt to explain himself and end this, Reid told her the truth. Taylor, getting a headache from the two being morons and just wanting it to end, cut in.

"Kids!" As loud as she yelled, though, it did no good. Emily went right in and talked over her as if she'd not said a thing.

"I didn't mean to. I was just being honest." Emily reached out for Reid, wanting to take his arm so he'd be able to feel that she meant what she said. Then she realized how very sharing and caring that all seemed, and remembered what happened the last time she decided to share and care with him. She saw him naked. That ended her nurturing notion immediately.

"That's all I was doing!" Reid was flustered. He hadn't meant for it to go this far. Maybe if he wouldn't have thrown in a jab of his own when he knew Emily's angle on this, he would have been okay.

"Kids! KIDS!" When Taylor screamed, she did it with pizazz. It took her the third time of calling out the same word, but suddenly both agent stopped in their tracks, turning to face her. "My daughter behaves better than the two of you! Just move your stupid cars, get in Emily's, and shut up before I murder the both of you. I still have to swing by Emily's to pick up my things, and I think I'm going to change clothes while I'm at it so I don't look like a rag doll. I'd like to actually get to Chicago today."

"Are you sure? Because if you don't want us..." Emily said this sincerely enough for Taylor to know she was just being fake nice to mock her in jest. The gleam across both she and Reid's faces told a whole other story of asshat-ness.

"Oh, don't start putting your happy pants on just yet. Going with me is a privilege of which I've allowed you, not a right. Do not mess with me or I will leave you high and dry at a rest stop in Ohio somewhere, and I will not pick you back up on my way through. Capiche?" As much as she wanted to be kidding, at this point it was highly doubtful she was, since she was already fantasizing about one of them saying something annoying, and her watching them panic as they got smaller in her rearview mirror.

"You wouldn't leave us. You love us too much." This was said so matter-of-factly that Taylor could just smell the burning pavement as she peeled on out of the rest stop, evil laughter on her tongue.

"You two are going to be in a pain in my ass." She sighed sarcastically, wondering how much trouble she would get into if she "accidentally" left a scratch on Emily's precious car with the keys, just to prove her annoyance with their cute little crap she wasn't about to put up with.

"We won't, we promise. It will be like we're not even here. By the way, I call the bathroom first when we get to Emily's. Also, if we could go through a drive thru somewhere before we get on the highway, that would be great. I've haven't exactly eaten anything this morning." Taylor took a moment to look around the immediate area of pavement for a small rock or stone she could throw at Reid. She had a crappy shot, so she'd miss, but she knew it would still startle him, and he'd jump and scream like a little girl in public, and that's all that mattered to her.

"I say leave him in Ohio." Taylor shrugged and a light came across her face. It was the best idea she'd heard all day. Maybe if she would have gotten kinkier with him last night and left him tied to the bed, they wouldn't be having the problem they are now. She doubted her own sister would have come after her had Reid not started it.

"Amen to that." She threw her hands up in the air, resigning to her own fate that she somehow knew was coming, and may have even silently welcomed, although she had not planned for it to be this way. At least two of the three finally agreed on something, and the majority had it.

"Hey!" Reid cried out like a dejected child. No one cared.

"Is for horses. Now shut up and get moving. I want to get there before tomorrow." To testify to this, Taylor turned to get into the car, but then, out of her rearview mirror, she just so happened to catch Reid and Emily carefully giving each other a candidly understated high five. "I saw that! Gees, I hate you people."

Realizing she had been duped, she promised herself to seek revenge when they least expected it and would be the most angry over it. There was never too soon a time to start plotting, or to show her cards all at once on the open road, flipping them out for days to come. Oh, the things she could do.

"We love you, too. Hey, guys, I'm going to drive Garcia's car to my place and leave it there for her. I'll meet you there." Emily made sure to send Garcia a quick text, letting her know where her car was and that she would be leaving the keys to it inside of her own apartment on the counter, and to use her spare key that Emily hardly had enough time to think about getting back off of her since last year to get in. She also thanked her profusely for her never ending generosity.

While Taylor sat in Emily's vehicle and stewed, carefully mastering a plan of genius manipulation, Reid moved his vehicle into his parking spot, as Emily pulled out of the lot, sure the two of them would figure things out in the car. If Taylor wanted to kill Reid for coming after her, she didn't want to have to be a witness to it. Somehow, she doubted Taylor would, considering his sad little life and how she seemed to cave toward it. In which case, whatever else they may do, she didn't want to see that either.

"Why don't you let me drive, Taylor. I know you've been so worried and you haven't been sleeping well. Why don't you go in the back and try to get some rest, at least until we get to Emily's." Taylor crossed her arms, as Reid stood with the door to the passenger's side open, trying to persuade her. He was just as tired as she was, if not more, and she could read that. It was one half dozen the other between the two of them.

"I'm already in the driver's seat, and I am tired of messing with you people. Get in or get run over." Reid eyed her for a moment, but she made him uncomfortable enough that he finally just looked away, unable to win at his own game. He opened the back door, throwing the go-bag that he kept in his car into it and hopping in the front seat.

"Fine, because you're already in the car, you can drive for now. Once we get back in at Emily's place, that changes." He tried again to put his foot down for the umpteenth time today. The only thing he held a good poker face for was board games and table games. After that, it all got a little hinky.

"Thanks for your permission. I appreciate you trying to put your foot down, but we all know I wear the pants in this relationship, because you're always the first one with them off." Trying to ignore the harsh reality of Taylor's guarded ways, Reid chose to forgo that comment, hoping to put those comments out of her mind before he was stuck in the car for what was surely to be the trip from hell with two females, one a coworker, one his girlfriend, and both sisters.

This either sounded like the plot of the worst torture comedy ever, or a very hot porno. Seeing as he had never seen the second, he couldn't decide, although it sounded like it could be the second, judging by the pornos Morgan had tried to convince him to watch just so he could "get some relief." Whatever that meant.

"Where are we staying, anyway, once we get to Chicago? You never answered me. Are we staying in your apartment?" Although he didn't want to admit it, Reid was interested to see Taylor's apartment. Someone's personal space told a lot about who they were, something he was still trying to figure out with her. So far, all he'd seen was her stuffing herself into Emily's life and unable to release her own personality because of it.

"No. I sold my portion of the co op to the guy across the hall the day I left. I couldn't continue to sink money into the maintenance fees and apartment manager fee each month like I had done, when I was never going to move back to Chicago. The best thing I could do was get rid of it. I was just planning on staying at whatever hotel I could afford." It was a long road to finally getting rid of that place, but she was happy to do it.

The sell of her house allowed her to put a deposit down on a place she could call her home in Chicago, and the monthly fees meant she wouldn't have to actually take care of it like she would her own house. In truth, she was unsure she could in the state she was in when she moved to Chicago. Plus, co ops were cheaper than anywhere else she'd be staying, even with the monthly fee, so it was all she could afford. When her neighbor found out she was going to be selling it, he quickly snatched it up, and that was all well and good with her.

"What if that wasn't a nice hotel?" On the road with the BAU, Reid had seen his share of chincy places to stay, but none of the places had been shoddy, per se.

He was concerned she barely cared about herself enough to spend the money on a decent place, even if she did have it, which he knew she didn't. For whatever reason, he was highly concerned about the type of environment they would be staying in, although that should be the least of his concerns.

"Really? We're going to talk about hotels? Are you kidding me right now? Because I can't...I can't do this. I have enough on my mind, which is why I wanted this time to myself. I wanted the drive up to think, or cry, or whatever it was I needed to do, and the drive back to bond with my daughter over a new experience we are both having. Now you two fools have gone and screwed it up for me, and I hate that I love you for it anyway. Now quiet until we get to Emily's. I need time to absorb the stressful ridiculousness that is my life so that I don't suddenly snap and allow my fantasies...I mean my threats, to no longer be jokes." Reid went to say something, just as she predicted he would, so she lifted her hand, making it into the form of a mouth and then shutting it quickly. Surprisingly, he seemed to understand the hand.

Thankful for the only few minutes of silence she was sure to have over the next few days, save for the time she was sleeping, given that neither Reid nor Emily suddenly decided to take up snoring, Taylor relaxed her head in her hand, her elbow resting on the door of the car, while at a stoplight. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, making sure to mind that the light would change. She felt Reid rub her shoulder authoritatively, but gently all the same, like he meant for her to know how much he cared and what he would to protect her.

Though she'd never allow for a slip of the tongue, she was glad he was with her. She hadn't asked him to go, although she had wanted him to. She couldn't, though, and not just because Cecilia didn't know him and it would be tough on her, which was a large part of the reason, but also because she promised herself she would never allow herself and her daughter to inconvenience or overtake Reid's life if he chose to stay with her. She knew he would easily let the two of them run him over, and it was up to her to stop that. She wanted to have an equal partnership, instead of allowing him to do all the giving and thinking that's what true love was. It wasn't, and she never wanted to ruin him for the next girl that would ultimately come along if they didn't work out. She didn't want to think about that. It would only tear her into smaller, sadder pieces.

So as she accepted her fate, knowing her life was about to change drastically, she relaxed into the feeling of knowing that, for the first time in her life, someone wanted to be there for her because they could be. There was no hidden agenda and no other motive. She wondered if she could be comfortable with that and allow herself to let her previous fears melt away. She also wondered if she could let it go if she had to, because her life had to be about her daughter first. If she allowed herself to ponder all the what ifs in life, she'd turn the car around and find herself in Reid's bed, succumbing to all she used to be when all respect had been lost. And as she pulled up to Emily's apartment with all these thoughts in her head, she decided that with a close of a car door, she would also be closing it on her fears, focusing only on the here and now, and promise herself not to actually leave someone in Ohio.


	11. Chapter 11

_A big thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, and adds my story to their favorites and alerts. You all own my heart. Just a few notes about this chapter and things remotely having to do with this chapter. First of all, let me just say that I'm going to miss Emily immensely on the show. Thoughts? Let's pretend like she never left. Second, and I may mention this again later, but when I refer to her apartment in this story, I am referring to her old one from the episode "In Name and Blood," with a few modifications since we never see her whole apartment. Since she got a new one, apparently, I didn't want anyone to be confused by my description of her apartment. Third, this is the long awaited chapter where Spencer and Cecilia finally meet. Thank you for being so patient on the journey to this place in the story. _

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review! Side note: your username makes me gleeful every time I see it! I'm so glad you think this is cute! That, too, makes me cheerful! Cute is one thing I've been struggling to keep in this story, despite the heavy context, and I worry I'm doing it wrong. I also struggled with not only getting Morgan and Hotch's personalities right, but molding them to the situation. Your review is very encouraging. Thank you!_

_SpemilyFan – Thanks for the review! Your review cracked me up. Also, I totally had to go back to the episode where Morgan goes home to find out what exactly he called his mom; I wasn't sure if it was moms, mom, or momma. Therefore, I'm super glad you appreciated that part! There will be more references to finding Taylor and Reid naked in this chapter, because Emily is stuck with the them._

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! High five! I was wondering if anyone else said hey is for horses, because we say weird things where I'm from. I am so glad that reference was not lost! _

_Ceegeeayy – Thanks for the review! You are awesome. Period._

**Chapter 11**

**The Littlest Prentiss**

It took a solid half an hour until everyone was situated and Taylor was able to wrangle them out of her sister's apartment. Per Reid's request, they stopped for food against Taylor's wishes. Taylor's wishes were probably best left granted, as she and him ended up fighting over whose food was whose. Thank God they were both in the back seat, as children should be, and away from Emily, who was trying to drive. She figured it best for her to do so since she had gotten the most sleep out of the pair. Plus, the idea of Reid driving scared the pants off of her, and she wasn't about to let Taylor operate a vehicle under such heavy emotional distress.

Off to a rocky start, Emily worried that the road trip from hell was going to ensue. Luckily, she was able to fall into a false sense of security after the pair wrapped up eating, and as they drifted off to sleep half on top of each other. She drove in silence for hours and stopped at not one, but two rest stops without them waking up. She was somewhere near Pittsburgh when Reid unexpectedly started snoring, which in turn woke Taylor and dashed any hopes she had of a peaceful trip. It also made Taylor beg Emily to let her throw him out of the car. Something about the only time she believed she would have peace on this trip was while everyone was sleeping, but he just had to take up snoring and was evil for not snoring during the other nights she had slept near to him. She became immediately leery of Reid and his supposed magical snoring powers of misrepresentation, and that was the least of her problems.

Naturally, immediately after they woke up, Reid had to pee, and right away. Since they had just passed a rest stop five minutes before he awoke, Emily had to get off the road she was traveling to find him a gas station. It took her stopping at three to find one he'd actually go to the bathroom in, and at that he only did it because once he was outside the car, Taylor locked the doors and told him she wasn't letting him back in until he went. This set them an extra forty minutes behind, and for a good hour after that, Emily worried Taylor would murder him. If looks could kill, technically she had. That would be hard to explain to hers and Reid's mutual colleagues. You know, the ones from the FBI.

It was near Cleveland that they stopped and had dinner, nightfall already upon them and dinner coming late tonight. Since they were already nearly ten hours into their trip because of setbacks, rest stops, and the like, Taylor rushed them through dinner, had snatched the keys, and was waiting in the car long before Reid or Emily had finished eating. They eventually took the hint, knowing she was impatient with knowing they had another six or so hours to go, if they were running hard. Most likely, it'd take them more like seven, especially with Reid having to pee at every single rest stop they passed. And at every single one, Taylor tried to convince Emily to leave him behind with no avail. At least she didn't make empty promises or threats.

By the time the reached Chicago, it was after two in the morning. Taylor had taken up driving the last leg of the trip, while Emily got some rest in the backseat, and Reid became the most annoying, ineffective backseat driver from the passenger seat, in the history of backseat drivers. Taylor, upset at how long it had actually taken them to get here, versus how long it said it would take on paper, just wanted to get some rest in an actual bed so she could hit the ground running the next day. She was also largely upset because she knew Reid was being a drama queen when he insisted trip would take fifteen hours one way, and yet somehow it had managed to take them even longer than that, and, according to her, it was all his fault. Therefore, getting out the car and away from him for a little while was of outmost importance to her now.

She pulled over just outside of the city lights and skyscrapers, knowing they were more likely to get a hotel at a better price there, and pulled up to the first place she could find that didn't look all that fancy, and then woke her sister. Her idea of a reasonably priced hotel was everyone else's idea of a seedy hotel, so with Emily back in the driver's seat, they headed down the road further until they ended up somewhere that Reid didn't worry about taking his shoes off inside of, and Emily thought fit the lifestyle she had become accustomed to living.

That was the difference between Taylor and Emily. Although the girls had grown up wealthy, Taylor didn't care about money. She could live anywhere, as long as it had everything she needed and wasn't a hole. If it needed some work, well, that was all right. Emily, on the other hand, didn't necessarily have expensive tastes, but she liked nice things, nicer than Taylor could get by with. Taylor was the kind of girl who was happy with the necessities, where Emily wanted just a little more, although nothing extravagant.

Once inside of the hotel, Taylor almost had a heart attack at the prices they were asking for one room per night. Emily fluffed her aside, pulling out her credit card, knowing this hotel was one of her choice and it was unfair to saddle Taylor with a bill when she would have stayed somewhere that cost half as much. By the time she was done, two rooms were booked.

Emily couldn't foresee Reid being comfortable sharing a two bed room with two women and, quite frankly, she had the fear that Taylor would choose to share the bed with him instead of her, and she just didn't need the thoughts of where their hands were keeping her awake. When Reid tried to hand her a check to cover the second hotel room, she shoved it back at him, letting him know he was doing her a favor by sleeping in the other room, and she was happy to pay for that. If there was even a remote chance of seeing Reid naked again, she wanted to skip it.

Duffle bags of belongings in their hands, they rode the elevator to the fifth floor and reached the outside of their hotel rooms, ones which would adjoin by doors once inside. Emily held the keys in her hand, trying to figure out who wanted to stay in what room, reminding them that they could get to each other if anyone was afraid of the dark, through said doors. This comment was targeted more at Reid, who actually was, in an attempt to comfort him by letting him know he could stay alone, but not really be alone.

Before Emily had a chance to think, Taylor snatched one of the keys from her hand, went inside of the room, and left her sister and Reid to figure things out for themselves. That's not how Emily saw this going, but she had no choice but to accept it while trying to soothe Reid by telling him she wasn't avoiding sharing a room with him, like he must have thought she was going to; she just needed time to think.

The notion had also passed through Emily's mind that if she were to split them between two rooms, it was very possible Taylor would feel more comforted with Emily than with Reid, and she could cry more freely, more openly or deal with whatever emotions she needed to deal with that she didn't get to in the car. So much as she booked two rooms because of Reid, she had done it for her sister, too. She just didn't think she'd still be stuck sharing a room with the occasional snoring stylings of the good doctor.

Despite her best attempts with Reid, he still spent ten minutes banging on the doors between the two rooms, asking for Taylor to at least open it so that he could see her and know she was okay. She told him that she was fine alone, was a big girl, and could take care of herself. And that's when it hit the both of them; Emily first, leaving Reid to figure it out a few minutes later. She hadn't done this to get away from Emily and Reid, she had done this to prove to them, but mostly herself, that she could get through one dark night alone with banging doors from other hotel patrons and the sounds of traffic outside her window, and not be traumatized. She had the security of opening the doors if she needed it, but she was trying not to need it. She was trying to be strong. And when Reid finally figured it out, he climbed into the bed opposite of Emily's and went to sleep, very little snoring included.

When Emily woke up that morning to the sunlight pouring through the windows of the room, the pair having been too tired to think of shutting the curtains the night before, Reid was absent from his bed and the doors between the rooms open. Hesitantly, she peeked through those doors, finding Reid spooning Taylor, and not Taylor lying against Reid, as she had suspected. She was unsure how Reid had become so nurturing, but that didn't matter in the end. What did was that the two of them seemed to be fully clothed, and that was good enough for her eyes.

She left the door open, closed her curtains, and laid back down for more rest. She had considered waking the two, but they looked so peaceful together and were both so in need of sleep that she just couldn't. She knew Taylor had wanted to see Cecilia first thing in the morning, but she also knew that Cecilia was in a specialized morning kindergarten class. If she woke Taylor now, she'd spend the entire morning mentally preparing herself for the afternoon, and since this may be the last decent night's sleep she got for awhile, Emily was going to let her make the most of that. She would allow Taylor to sleep until she woke up naturally, having had her curtains closed and being unaware of the morning sunlight that could be illuminating the room. When she was up and ready, she'd let Emily know.

When Taylor woke, it was as if a tornado gone through the two rooms. She was a drill sergeant, barking out for everyone to get ready faster, and that she'd leave them in the dust if they failed to. It was clear today was about Taylor's needs, but mostly Cecilia's, and she wasn't going to have anyone slow her down. Today was the day she got her daughter back for good, Emily and Reid would make sure of that. Today was the day all her dreams finally came true, while her life did a total one hundred and eighty degree shift. Today was the day that she spent the last five years waiting for, hoping and praying it would come, and now that it was here she wasn't going to waste a second of it with slow people who didn't value her time.

It was just after noon when she gathered everyone in the car, though it seemed so much later. She spent the car ride in the front seat, Emily driving, explaining how things were going to work. She made it clear that she went into the room first to see her daughter, Emily coming in behind her. Reid, however, didn't get the same opportunities as the girls because Cecilia didn't know him, and he understood that. He agreed to stand silently in the doorway and observe, and to back out of view if it was necessary, since it was completely unknown how Cecilia would take to him.

As soon as the car was stopped in front of the house where Cecilia was temporarily living, Taylor was out of the car. Before Reid and Emily had two solid feet on the pavement, she was knocking on the door, having called the social worker ahead of time to let her know she wouldn't be in yesterday due to being held up by "these stupid people who care about her," and making arrangements to meet her as soon Cecilia was out of kindergarten, also letting them know about the plus two that would be accompany her.

When Taylor was let in the house, she did nothing except for go straight to Cecilia, forgoing any casual greetings. The social worker and the state appointed foster parent had headed to gather Cecilia's things, leaving Taylor to bond with her for a little while before they started their journey back home. Home. A place to settle and dwell, where she and her daughter could start a new life. It sounded nice. She only hoped she could make it work.

By this time, Emily and Reid had rushed to catch up with her. They got there just in time to see Taylor happily approach her daughter, who was sitting on the floor with her green and pink tattered blankie in one hand, piling the same blocks up over and over again with the other. This was the first time Reid had seen Cecilia, as he had not been provided with so much as a picture. Watching the way she sat there, so unaware of what was going on, made him sad. It filled his heart with pain for Taylor, as the severity of what she was going to have to deal with hadn't fully hit him until just now.

Unlike Reid had expected, Taylor just stood and watch her daughter play on the floor for a few moments. Her head was tilted, as if she were studying her behavior. What Reid didn't know but the girls did, was that this was a normal routine for Cecilia, who needed that in her life. After she got home from school, she would sit and play with her toys for an hour, before receiving lunch. The blocks were her favorite things of all, something she brought with her from her former home with her adoptive parents. They were the special kind of blocks that were used in occupational therapy and were soft so she couldn't harm herself with them in any way, shape, or form. She also hated the texture of them in her mouth, so she never tried to chew on them.

It took a few minutes before Taylor finally spoke to her, but when she finally decided it was time, she bent down in front of her first, wanting to make her more comfortable by being at her level. She reached her hand out, taking one of the blocks that Cecilia wasn't currently using and holding onto it to get her attention. Cecilia looked in her general direction, but not directly at her, which was confirmation enough that she knew Taylor was there. This was normal for her, but left Reid studying Cecilia so that he could figure out her behaviors himself.

"Hey, Cecilia. Mommy Taylor is here with Aunt Emily." Ever since Cecilia was a baby and Taylor knew she was different, she had always learned to call herself Mommy Taylor around Cecilia. That way, if anything were to happen to her and anyone ask her who she belonged to, she wouldn't just say Mommy, she would say Mommy Taylor.

That would give the proper authorities a good place to start in finding her mom. This worked out perfectly when she was adopted, because it allowed her to not lose the mommy moniker. She could still be Mommy Taylor, while her new adoptive mom was Mommy Alyson. Taylor always felt blessed that her adoptive parents were okay with this, and that they wanted her to keep the name Mommy Taylor, instead of just being Taylor. She was always grateful they were willing to share her so openly.

"Cecilia, Mommy Taylor and Aunt Emily are going to take you home. Do you remember that you're going to your forever home today with me? Are you ready to go home?" Taylor hadn't wanted to say everything to her at once, giving her a few minutes to process the people who she had just told her were there. She knew Cecilia knew who they were, it just took her a minute to process it all.

The same went for what she was saying. Taylor knew that Cecilia understood home. It was something she and her adoptive parents had worked on teaching her when she was little. They wanted her to know that home was a good, safe place. As Reid stood by watching, not expecting a reaction, he became fully surprised when he got one.

It took a good two minutes, but all of a sudden Cecilia began to rock back and forth. It wasn't in a way of angst, but instead in a way of excitement, an expression of a smile nearly crossing her face. Then she brought her hands up as she rocked, bringing them together almost as if she was clapping, but not quite. Taylor and Emily knew this meant she had understood them, and she was ready to leave and go home. Although she couldn't fully process it, she knew enough to be trusting and know it was a good thing. She then began shaking her head back and forth in her excitement. But oddly, she stopped, focusing her eyes straight on one thing and one thing only.

"Cecilia? Cecilia? What do you see?" Taylor had a half smile on her face, trying to figure out what had her daughter so captivated, whereas she normally wasn't. When Cecilia didn't respond by flinching or turning her head, yet instead stopped her movements to fully focus on what it was she was watching, Taylor decided to follow her eyes.

"Reid?" Emily eye's snapped to where Taylor was looking, slowly letting the word slip, just as confused as Taylor was. Who becomes charmed by Reid, anyway?

Emily had spent a fair amount of time with Cecilia when she was a baby and Taylor still had custody of her. She had also spent the last year visiting her on and off, each time Taylor had, in between the trial. She had never seen her focus on anything like this or be so captivated by what was in front of her. Mostly, she just didn't care, and if she did find herself fascinated by anything, it was an object, not a person.

Looking over at Taylor to profile her thoughts on the situation through facial expression, Emily saw Taylor was just as confused. Feeling Emily's eyes on her, she turned her head, stared down her sister for a minute, realized they were on the same page, and then shook her head no. It scared Taylor that she didn't know what was going on, but that wasn't the only thing she had to be surprised by. As with everything else, it took Cecilia a moment to fully process something, but what she processed was something Taylor didn't know how to deal with.

"Reid. Reid. Reid. Reid. Reid. Reid..." Cecilia began to repeat his name, the last thing her Aunt Emily had quietly uttered, over and over again. For someone who didn't know her, they would think she had understood that Reid was the name of the person who was standing there, but this was Cecilia, and she didn't get that. She couldn't.

Reid didn't move from the doorway, nor did he speak. He was surprised by her behavior, and although he tried not to show it, both girls could read him better than that. His eyes became intense, and it was clear he was studying Cecilia. Part of Taylor wanted to stop him, to tell him not to profile her own flesh and blood from her womb, but the other part thought if anyone could find an answer to the way she was acting, it could possibly be him. She knew essentially he was harmless, that he was just observing, but the situation made her uncomfortable.

"Cecilia, I have one of your blocks. Will you play blocks with me?" To try and distract her, Taylor held up a block in her line of vision, but she just moved slightly, enough that the block didn't affect her. She couldn't have cared less about her favorite toy.

"Reid. Reid. Reid. Reid..." Cecilia was unfazed by her own mother, continuing to be fascinated by the man in front of her. Men had never been her favorite specimens, but she sure couldn't take her eyes off of him.

Noting the look on both Taylor and Emily's faces, Reid decided to see if he could at least clarify part of her actions as best as he could, although he, too, was curious about her enchantment of him.

"It's called echolalia. Some kids with learning disabilities will repeat back something they've heard over and over. Most likely because you said my name singularly she was able to comprehend it, and since it was one syllable, it was easy for her to say." He still couldn't get over the way she stared at him, like she was looking right through him and knew all his secrets. It reminded him of when Taylor had told him that Cecilia had done it to her, and that's what caused her to stop her self-abusive lifestyle.

"I know what echolalia is. She normally doesn't do it, though. If she says anything, it's something random. This has meaning." Taylor's voice was soft, but she wanted to bite at Reid. She didn't know why, at least not on the surface, but deep down she was jealous. It was hard enough to get her to say Mommy Taylor once every so often, but for her to be repeating his name over and over hurt her.

"Oh." Reid closed his lips, nodding his head and feeling awkward. Not knowing what else to do, he held his hand up, opening and closing it in a child-like wave, addressing the child whose eyes weren't leaving him. "Hi, Cecilia."

At this, Cecilia lifted herself off of the floor. Within seconds she had crossed the room, landing in front of Reid and wrapping her arms, blankie still in hand, around his leg. Taylor watched in disbelief as her normally unaffectionate daughter showed it toward Reid. Sure, Cecilia would hug every so often, but you had to wait for her to come to you, and she wasn't so forthcoming with her hugs depending on her mood. Since she couldn't reach any higher on Reid, Taylor had no doubt that's what she was doing.

Emily looked at her sister again, gaging what to do in this situation. She knew this had to be uncomfortable not only for Reid, but extremely painful for Taylor, being as her own daughter hadn't hugged her, yet the only person in the house she had never met. She had been so looking forward to this day, and now Emily wondered if that hadn't been ruined by Reid, although unintentionally.

Slowly, Taylor's face turned toward Emily's. Her look reaped of disbelief and sorrow. Tears were the thing she was most trying to force back. The only thing that made the moment a bit easier was that Cecilia had finally stopped repeating Reid's name, as if touching him was now good enough to fulfill whatever it was she needed. Taylor didn't blame Reid, but she wanted to be him, and she was upset he was stealing her thunder, although he hadn't actually done anything. She was beginning to wish she would have left him in Ohio, if for no other reason than forcing them to stop at every rest stop so he could pee. If he wouldn't have drank a ton of coffee, the problem wouldn't have existed.

"Miss Prentiss?" Both Taylor and Emily's heads shot up in a stereo "yes." Emily, realizing the social worker was talking to the younger of the two, apologized quickly, allowing Taylor a moment to pull herself together. "We've gathered Cecilia's things. You're good to take her whenever you're ready."

The befuddled look on the social worker's face, as well as the look on the foster parent's, were obvious. Emily took the lead, not wanting to make this harder on her sister by kicking her when she was down by making her explain.

"That's Dr. Spencer Reid. He's a colleague of mine at the FBI, as well as a close friend of Taylor's. He and Cecilia like each other." As soon as that came out, Emily realized how obtuse it had made her sound. She looked over at Taylor, mouthing an apology. She hadn't helped the situation. Actually, she didn't even know why she had said that. Her brain was obviously up to no good.

At least she had resisted in telling them Reid was Taylor's boyfriend. She could have caused a few problems with that one, causing the social worker to wonder how long the had been together or question her judgement as to who she was going to introduce her daughter to. She didn't want that. If things were finite and serious it would have been different. Now was not the time to talk relationship status when that hadn't been part of the deal of her receiving custody.

"I see that. I just don't remember them meeting before." The social worker's eyes drifted between Taylor and Cecilia, then between Cecilia and Reid, a small smile breaking across her face. She studied Reid and the way he was perfectly fine with what was happening, yet unsure of how to react, knowing the focus was now on him, like everyone was waiting to see what he was about to do.

"They haven't." Taylor reluctantly confirmed, shaking her head and unsure if this would become a penalty against her, or what the social worker was thinking.

"This isn't typical behavior for Cecilia, that I know of." The social worker's voice, as usual, was a bit stern. It was part of her job, Taylor realized, but it made her infinitely impossible to read.

"It isn't." Again Taylor answered her, the same devoid tone, avoiding any eye contact, afraid that any little thing could force her to lose the dream she spent the last five years nurturing.

"It's very encouraging, though." Just like that, with a twist of words and fate, the social worker said the last thing Taylor expected, but the one thing she knew meant she got to take her daughter with her today. Nothing was going to stop her. Cecilia was finally hers again. "So, I bet you'll be happy to get Cecilia to her new home. She could really use some definitive structure. We've tried, but it's been difficult with the unexpected roadblocks being in a foster home often creates."

"I'm going to work with her on getting her on a schedule that she's happy with as soon as we get back to Virginia. I enrolled her in a special needs school, which she'll start next Monday. We'll go from there. My main priority is that she's not just content, but that she loves living with me. All I want is to make her happy." Taylor spoke from the heart, wanting the social worker to know they had made the right decision in betting on her. She was the long shot, she knew, but this was the only thing her hearted wanted so fully, without regret.

"I know that, which is why you ultimately were granted custody of her. I trust you'll hold up to your end of the agreement when six months roll around." It had been a rocky road, and there were several reasons not to grant her custody.

Truth be told, the social worker knew the only reason she had finally conceded to allowing this, but with conditions. Once she saw the way Taylor was around her own daughter, the way that was unmatched by anyone, she knew there was no other home for Cecilia. Although there were requirements she had to meet, the social worker had no doubt she'd jump through hoops if she had to in order to meet them.

"I will. I'll do anything for Cecilia." She knew this was the social worker's way of sending her on her way, telling her she had overstayed her welcome. It was time to leave Chicago in her rearview mirror for good.

"I trust that you will, Miss Prentiss. If I could make a suggestion, I would allow her to keep her blocks with her in the car, along with her blanket. It will help soothe her during the car ride. What are you plans for travel, anyway? Are you planning on driving straight through with her?" Taylor, being short the money she needed in order to stop, hadn't put much thought into it. With having three of them to drive, one of which they hoped wouldn't, it made it feasible.

"No, Ma'am. We're just going to take things as they come. If nothing else, we will be stopping somewhere tonight. If we need to stop more in order to make her comfortable, we will." This was news to Taylor, who automatically assumed they would be driving straight through, trying to make the best out of the trip to get her to her destination as soon as possible. Emily may have had a point, though.

"You'll call me when you stop overnight and when you've reached your destination?" Both sisters nodded, Emily wanting to take the reigns like she had with Taylor during the trial and make everything okay in order to take care of her and protect her. She couldn't do that anymore. She had to give her room to breathe and prove herself as an adult.

"Will do. Thank you for everything." Taylor began to gather Cecilia's blocks, putting them in her carefully crafted bag she had sewn, something she learned to do during the trial to keep her head from exploding or imploding, whichever it chose was funnier.

"You're welcome. I know you can do this, Miss Prentiss. I wish you the best of luck and a safe trip." Once Taylor was sure she had gathered all of Cecilia's things, she removed herself from the floor, prepared to carry her daughter and her bags of things to the car so that they could depart. Cecilia was finally hers.

"Ah, guys, I don't know that we're going anywhere just yet. I still have a child attached to me. If somebody could just remove her...please?" It wasn't that Reid didn't appreciate that Cecilia liked him. In fact, this was more than he could have hoped for, but he couldn't properly express how awkward he felt having a child attached to his leg. He tried to grin and bear it, but it was becoming harder by the minute.

In all the formalities that came with adulthood, Taylor had nearly forgotten that her child was still hanging on Reid's leg. Actually, she was more surprised that she hadn't disbanded herself from there yet. The social worker started to carefully bend down, hoping to get Cecilia to pay attention to her. As soon as she reached toward her, Cecilia began to become upset. She would let out little, short screams that made her sound like she was imitating a banshee.

"No, no, no. Leave her go. I've got this." As her first role of motherhood, her job was to remove her daughter from Reid's leg. This wasn't exactly how she saw that going.

She knew she had to prove herself, or at least that's how she felt. She already saw where attempting to remove Cecilia had gotten the social worker, so she knew she had to go in another way. She bent down to Cecilia's level, but did not try to reach out to her. Instead, she attempted to get her attention.

"Cecilia. Cecilia, you have to let go of Spencer's leg. I mean, you have to let go of Reid's leg." Cecilia didn't look at her. She was too busy looking up at Reid.

Not wanting to confuse her own daughter by giving her a different, harder name than what she had come to identify Reid by, she was careful to correct herself. Although she didn't rationalize things the same way most people did, she was able to see his face and know he was Reid. She connected things by pictures and visuals.

Feeling like she had no other option and that everyone was watching her, waiting for her to step in and take charge, to be the mother, she went to the last resort she could think of. Walking around the opposite side of Reid, she bent down, wrapping her arms around his leg. Emily fought to hold back her laughter, but ultimately had to turn around and cover her mouth. The social worker wasn't fairing too much better. Taylor knew this looked funny, but she was going somewhere non ridiculous with this.

"Cecilia, look at me. Cecilia, look at Mommy Taylor." She paused, giving her the chance to at least glance her way. It took her a little while, but she did, however, the look on her face dictated that she was not happy about it. "I know that you like Reid. Mommy Taylor likes Reid, too. That means we have to share him. You're not being a good sharer right now. Can you share with Mommy Taylor? Cecilia, if you don't share, we can't go home. You want to go home, right?"

"Reid. Reid. Reid. Reid..." It didn't take Cecilia as long as usual to begin to repeat her same mantra over and over. Taylor knew she had one more try left in her before her heart couldn't take it anymore.

"That's right, Reid will be going home with us. Come on, Cecilia. Come to Mommy Taylor so we can go home." Unwrapping her arms from around Reid's leg, Taylor went back to Cecilia, extending her arms to her, but was ultimately ignored. Reid, seeing that this was breaking Taylor's heart, decided he was going to try and help in the best way he knew how and only hope it didn't hurt her worse.

"Hey, Cecilia, why don't we play a game? Mommy Taylor, can I see your bag?" Catching on that he was going to have to be the to break up this party and also observing the way Taylor addressed herself to Cecilia, he tried to wiggle his way toward her with no luck, due to the pending child on his leg.

Taylor took the bag from her shoulder, handing it over to him. He took out two blocks that she had seemed to favor the most earlier and handed it back. Taylor didn't know what he was trying to do, but by now she felt defeated and a bit like the only one who could help was Reid. She was glad he pitched in, yet jealous, which Emily picked up on immediately. She kept her eye on the three of them, making sure Taylor's emotions didn't overcome her. And if they began, she knew the signs and would step in.

"Cecilia, these are neat blocks." Immediately, Cecilia squealed in delight at the sight of Reid moving the blocks through his hands. Her one little hand came up, reaching for them. Taylor stepped back, upset Reid had elicited the response she had hoped to, yet angry at him when he didn't give in and give Cecilia the blocks like she expected he would do so that she would let go of his leg. "Yeah. Yeah, neat blocks, Cecilia. I like them, too, but I don't know if I want to share them now that I have them, but I like to play with other people, so I think I will. Sometimes we have to share things. For instance, I'm going to share my blocks with Mommy Taylor. Here, Mommy Taylor. Would you like to share these blocks with me?"

Reid verbally nudged Taylor on until she came over and took one of the blocks out of his hand. Cecilia squealed again. This time she wasn't happy, though, and began to make a few other displeased noises. Reid kept on the course, now handing the other block to Taylor. It took a little while to render a response, but Cecilia started to give Reid a look as if he had stolen a kitten.

"You want these blocks, Cecilia? Yeah? Well, I shared them with Mommy Taylor now since she's sharing you with me, so you're going to have to see if Mommy Taylor will share with you. I think she will if you'll ask her, but you have to share me with Mommy Taylor, too. If you don't share, too, Mommy Taylor won't share, either, and then we can't go home. You want to go home, right?" Emily tilted her head at Reid's tactic, knowing that he usually did know what he was doing, but he usually upset a few people along the way in doing it. She wasn't sure if she should go in and stop him or if she should just let him go and trust him. She wasn't sure she followed all of that the first time around, either.

Just as Emily was trying to decide what the right decision would be, Cecilia let go of Reid's legs, making an almost comedic huffing sound at him as she did. She and her blankie made their way over to Taylor, her arms lifting up, and her little fingers making a grabbing motion. Instead of giving her the blocks immediately, Taylor grabbed for one of Cecilia's little hands, getting it into hers, and then handing her exactly one block to hold in the same hand as her blankie, since it was all she could handle, keeping the other block for herself.

"All right, Cecilia, are you ready to go to home?" Taylor gave Cecilia a moment for a reaction, and she didn't disappoint. He body began to rock back and forth where she stood, unable to clap this time because both of her hand were otherwise occupied. "Good girl. Mommy Taylor will give you the rest of your blocks in the car for being such a good girl, okay?"

Taylor started toward the door, not wanting to miss the moment of having her full attention and end up with a catastrophe in lieu. She knew she only had a certain amount of time to carry out something she had put in Cecilia's head before she would end up confusing her. Taylor called her goodbyes and thank yous as she walked out the door, Reid and Emily picking up Cecilia's bags and carrying them out behind her.

Although she wasn't sure if she was ready to deal with Reid yet, he caught up to her immediately. You could only walk so fast with a child and it wasn't worth a failed getaway. Heck, Emily had already passed them, too. The miracle here wasn't that Reid had caught up, but that he chose to walk the speed of a mom and child. Taylor knew he had done nothing wrong. He felt like he had. He wanted to talk to her, to make sure they were still okay, because he saw the pained expression that had crossed her face when her own daughter went to him. He knew how uncomfortable it made him, too. He hadn't meant to do that. If anything, he thought Cecilia would run from him, not hug his leg, although it was quite possibly the best hug he had ever gotten, as it wasn't a sympathy hug. It was a sincere one.

"Did you just underhandedly teach my kid a lesson?" Unable to stand the awkward silence as they took the steps together, him a little in the way, Taylor spat out the first non offensive thing she could think of. She didn't want to act the way she normally would around her daughter, knowing that she learned from observing.

"Probably. I don't know." He hadn't thought about how he could possibly be teaching Cecilia to share when he was just trying to remove her from her leg, but now that he did, he realized it was possible he had. He didn't want to dwell on that too long, though. "Taylor, are we okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Why wouldn't we be?" Her voice sounded sincere, but she was short with him, turning to admire Cecilia immediately after saying that. Reid had seen it enough to know it was a distraction technique. She didn't want to deal with this right now; she probably couldn't without becoming very upset, so he wasn't going to push her.

"I'm...sorry anyway." Reid nodded nervously, going past the two to the car, where Emily already was, putting Cecilia's things unto the trunk so they could make their journey home.

"Reid. Reid, look at me." Emily talked to him quietly, using him to shield herself from Taylor's view so that she couldn't see what they were saying, although she was too caught up in Cecilia to notice. "You have nothing to feel bad about, okay? What happened in there was a good thing for Cecilia. It shows she can connect with people and comprehend things, and we didn't know if she could or not. We've worked with her on it, but we never knew if it took. Taylor's upset because she wanted her daughter to do that with her, but she doesn't get to choose that, and neither do you. So don't feel bad and don't let Taylor make you feel bad about this, okay? Do you hear me?"

Reid nodded, but didn't say a word. Instead, he turned for the front of the car. He opened the door to the front passenger seat, a silent understanding that Emily would be driving, while Taylor and Cecilia reconnected in the back seat. He still had the door open, trying to get his lanky legs to cooperate, when problems struck again.

Taylor had let go of Cecilia's hand in order to situate herself to open the car door, as well as help Emily with the booster seat. Cecilia wasn't one to take off; she never had been, as she was too scared. That second of missed contact, however, allowed for her to lunge toward the object of her affection, starting the cycle all over again. By the time Taylor had realized she wasn't at her side and had looked over, Cecilia was already trying to crawl in the front seat on top of Reid. Instead of handling this with all the calm and cool her brain could allow, Taylor finally lost it, snapping at him, although it probably wasn't noticeable to Cecilia.

"Spencer, you may have to pitch in and help here." Her voice, more than anything, was frustrated and sad. She looked straight at Reid, obviously about to cry.

Taylor's eyes pleaded with him, hoping if he decided to nicely be the bad guy, as she doubted he could do it in any other way, that maybe Cecilia would listen to him again. She obviously wasn't getting through. He looked at Cecilia, and then to Taylor. Guilt was already filling his features and Taylor knew he felt bad about the situation, but it didn't make her feel good about it, either.

"Hi, Cecilia. Can I help you get into the car the with Mommy Taylor?" Reid began to move himself out of the car again, very careful to not smash into Cecilia with his legs while doing so. She was still attempting to crawl onto his seat with little success and the blankie she was holding, along with the block, was not helping her grip.

As soon as Reid was in a better position, he reached down for her, lifting her to the side so he could get out of the vehicle. He knew he really shouldn't have picked up an autistic child, as most don't like it, but she seemed okay with it, like he figured she would be since she had been the one grabbing so tightly onto him earlier. Plus, he had no other choice if he wanted to be able to get out of the car. Once out of the car, he went to the back door, only to find that Taylor had already put herself in the car, crawled over the booster seat, and remained huddling in the opposite corner, obviously upset.

"Come here, Cecilia. You want to go play with Mommy Taylor? She has the rest of your blocks, and I know she's going to share them with you. That will be fun." He was trying to sound as encouraging as he could, but mostly he just wanted to make Taylor aware that they were standing at the car door and Cecilia could see her.

"She doesn't want me, Spencer. She doesn't want her blocks. She wants you. You might as well just get in, too." Emily, having just gotten in the driver's seat and picked up on what was happening, reached her hand back over the seat and grabbed for Taylor's. She was surprised when Taylor took it; she thought she was going to push her away or ignore her. She wanted her sister to know she was there for her.

Normally, in any other situation, Reid would second guess everything and ask Taylor if she was sure she wanted him to sit with them, taking up some valuable mother and daughter time. This was different, though, and he knew it, so he didn't question it. He simply lifted Cecilia into the car first, and then followed suit. Taylor didn't look at him, not even when she leaned over to get her into the booster seat and buckle her in.

Once Cecilia was buckled in and Taylor gave Emily the heads up to start driving, she pulled the rest of the blocks from the bag between her feet and gave them to Cecilia, along with the one in her hand. Cecilia liked car rides; she always had, ever since she was a baby. Nothing else mattered to her when she was in the car. Most autistic children hated them, as they pulled them away from their normal routine, but Cecilia had always been willing to drop her normal routine for a trip around the block.

With the car ride being this long, however, Taylor worried about how she would do. If only those blocks in front of her could keep her entertained while she squealed with delight each time the car sped up or started again from a dead stop, they would be all right. She knew, however, that autism dictated that after awhile she would tire of the blocks and the roar of the engine and want to go back to her normal routine. She was already stressed and they were barely five minutes down the road.

Seeing this, Reid reached over, grabbing her hand and trying to let her know he was there for her, and he wasn't going anywhere. Whatever he could do to help, he wanted to. He got the unexpected, though, when she yanked her hand from his, putting it too far back for him to reach again. Emily, seeing this in the rearview mirror, suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Had she done this? Was this her fault?

She wasn't sure if she felt worse for Taylor or Reid, but she started to question if she had done the right thing in the first place by introducing them. She thought if Reid could make it through finding out Taylor had a daughter, this wouldn't be where it all fell apart. She was only human, and this time she may have thought wrong. Unfortunately, for two people who traveled through the pasts that Reid and Taylor had, she worried that wrong thought could be the last thing either could handle and it would be all her fault.


	12. Chapter 12

_ I just wanted to thank everyone for your continual support and for reading, reviewing and adding my story to your favorites and alerts. You all own my heart! I'm so thankful that everyone took to the last chapter, because I was worried, especially in posting it on the heels of Coda. I had that chapter planned out from the moment I decided to make Cecilia autistic, however, I hadn't counted on Criminal Minds doing an autistic based episode as well. Maybe if I wrote a little faster, I would have beat them, because now I just look like I stole their episode. To quote KateEatsCake, "blahdhgahs." When I planned out the last chapter, I also knew the one proceeding it would explain why the Reid effect doesn't apply with Cecilia. Maybe this can also explain why it didn't apply to the autistic child in the show, but it did make me feel better about the last chapter knowing the show's autistic child also liked Reid. Either way, I hope this chapter comes out as intended and doesn't break the character of Reid. _

_AmberDoodle87 – Thanks for the review! I am so touched that you took all that time to read and catch up on the story! Thank you! I am so glad you think I've written Reid well, as I actually started this story to try and figure out how to write him. He is a toughie. Also, in a way I am glad, but also sorry that you can connect with Taylor on such an emotional level, as her life hasn't been easy and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Thank you for such an amazing review and I appreciate you reading and reviewing what I am sharing. _

_ceegeeayy – Thanks for the review and for listening to me drone on about the ideas I have and things Reid would probably not do ever! You know, now you're making me question how Reid and Taylor ended up in the same bed together, as I hadn't exactly thought that out, I just made it so. I will have a story for this by tomorrow, just you wait. And last but not least, you are awesome. _

_SpemilyFan – Thanks for the review! I am so glad that chapter came out correctly, as I was concerned people were going to think Taylor was just being the word that is like witch but starts with a b. This chapter will definitely explain the lack of the Reid effect. _

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! This chapter will dive into Taylor trying to deal with Reid, although it won't go exactly as planned._

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review and I'm still loving the heck out of your username! I have no idea what that first word you typed is and I assume you've made it up, but I love it, and it shall now be part of my regular vocabulary. I think your description of the chapter pretty much summed it up in a way that made me incredibly happy. I'm just going to ask you to write my descriptions from now on, okay? Thank you, and you know, gosh darn that episode. I had this planned months before that episode and it kind of took my thunder a little because I was too slow. To quote you, "blahdhgahs."_

**Chapter 12**

**Two Can Keep a Secret**

Traveling with an autistic child could be a very trying event, although, in light of that fact, Cecilia was nearly an angel. That wasn't to say there weren't issues, because that would be a boldfaced lie. There were enough to make Taylor realize that she couldn't have done this alone. It wouldn't have been physically possible for her to have driven and tried to entertain Cecilia at the same time, and Cecilia wouldn't have been okay just sitting there, while her mommy concentrated on the road. Because of this, she was actually glad that at least one person came along; and at this point that was more so Emily than Reid. She would never tell either of them that, though, but in exchange for a thank you, she vowed not to play some evil prank on them that she had been brainstorming since the road trip from somewhere that was not heaven had commenced. She would keep mum the word, though, because she was still entitled to change her mind.

Cecilia spent the first precious minutes of the ride playing with her blocks. She was just as happy as could be and in her own little world with them. The only time she required or even wanted help from the people around her was when she dropped one. It was then their job to pick it up, but she would get very angry lest they try to play with her. Unlike other children, she didn't show her anger by lashing out. She would just make little screaming sounds, short and staccato, to let you know that she wasn't happy with the crap you were selling her. She also made the same sound when she dropped a block on the floor. It scared the wits out of Emily a few times, making her jump and then try to hold her composure, as not to swerve off the road.

As the car hit the highway and sped up, a more steady pace upon them, Cecilia fell asleep in her little car seat. Cecilia wasn't exempt from the sleep problems that autistic children were often plagued with. Although she strived on schedule, sometimes she would conk out right in the middle of something if you gave her enough down time to do so. If you didn't, she could usually keep up with the routine, although she was lag behind. Because now was the former, the roar of the engine and her love for car rides there to soothe her, she fell asleep, her blankie wrapped around her by her own doing and her blocks strewn on the floor. Because nobody wanted to wake her, things were quiet for a little while, very quiet. Emily drove in silence, Reid watched out the window, afraid that looking at Taylor and Cecilia would only cause the momma bear in Taylor to come out, and Taylor holding her little girl's hand, just as content as could be.

This all ended when Reid had to use the bathroom. Why not? It had been a whole hour and ten minutes since they left Chicago, and he had made them pull over so he could go before they hit the highway. And just like clockwork, as soon as that car stopped, Cecilia was awake and rearing to go again, which made the rest of the car ride more difficult than Taylor could have anticipated. If getting her to go to the bathroom in a public place, somewhere Cecilia didn't know and wasn't comfortable with, wasn't hard enough, deciphering her clues that she had to go were enough to make Taylor cry. Which she did do, not once, but twice. At home, Cecilia knew all about the bathroom. She was a good little girl who would take herself there when she needed to, not often asking for help, but occasionally. She was extremely difficult to potty train, didn't want to take to it, and didn't understand the concept for quite some time, but once it clicked she was a big girl and didn't want an adult helping her unless she cried from the bathroom. The car was another story.

The problem wasn't just the unfamiliar restrooms, but the fact that she didn't always know how to ask to go to the bathroom, or tell someone she had to go. When she did, she often had to go right then. But she was so used to just going by herself, that not being able to do so threw her off. Finally, after an accident and a lot of freaking out on Reid's part, because accidents weren't his thing, they figured out that when Cecilia began to cry it was because she had to go to the bathroom and was confused and frustrated because she was strapped into a car seat. When this happened and she had to use the facilities for the second time in a very short period of time, Emily had to pull over at the closest place she could and hope they made it.

That wasn't the worst part, though. Once Cecilia was awake, she was ready to go. Being tied into a car seat no longer placated her. She wanted out of that car seat. She wanted to illuminate her mind. She always had been just so curious. But she couldn't do that in a moving vehicle. Emily pulled over and they took Cecilia for a walk, hopeful it would calm her. They also collected some of her things from the trunk, learning tools included, in order to try and entertain her. Taylor was angry at herself, feeling like a complete imbecile for thinking things would have been okay if she was driving, like Cecilia would just sit there and be okay. She should have planned this better. She should have been more prepared. All of those fears were washing over her again, and she wondered if she really could be a good mom to her own daughter.

But as she went through her flip book, pointing out things from the world and getting Cecilia to identify them, Reid watched from the back seat, Emily from the rearview mirror when she could steal a glance, and they both knew she was cut out for this. And when the book failed to entertain, Taylor would pull something else out from her bag of tricks and try to amuse her for all it was worth. It was a very small bag of tricks, though, most of her toys still being held up at the estate. Taylor knew how to make the most of it, and that's what counted.

By dinner time, Cecilia had, had it with this road trip thing. Unfortunately, they were just outside of Toledo at this point, not having made it as far as they had wished for. Everyone hoped getting some food into Cecilia's tummy would help her to troop it out a little longer that day so that the next day's trip wasn't so hard. Nobody wanted to turn a twelve hour trip into a three day event if they didn't have to, and if they covered enough ground today and started out at a decent hour tomorrow, they could take their time getting home with her. Also unfortunately, she only put up with being strapped into a car seat for another hour. Having no other choice, unless they cared to see a small child freak out and scream bloody murder at intermittent times when it was least expected, the group was forced to make their stop for the night around Sandusky South.

Then came the problem of where to stay with Cecilia. They obviously didn't want to stay anywhere that was a a bit rundown with her, as it wasn't what he was used to and might panic her. Staying in any sort of unfamiliar place was going to be difficult enough for her, making staying in a hotel nearly impossible. Emily didn't want to keep Cecilia in the car longer than she had to, but she also didn't want to make her more uncomfortable than she had to for the entire night, either. After a trip down some non mainstream roads, she spotted a small place that looked to be privately owned, with rooms that led to the outside world. Because of the intimate size of the place, as well as the ability to walk straight outside instead of into a noisy hallway with people talking loud and slamming doors, Emily thought this place may feel more like home for Cecilia than any big chain hotel would.

Taylor took Cecilia for a walk around the grounds, as Emily and Reid were responsible for booking the rooms. When they finally came to find the pair, Emily handed Taylor a room key and they got to work on unloading Cecilia's things, as well as her own. It took about two point five minutes after the calvary had Cecilia's things in the room for Taylor to realize there was an intrusion problem.

Apparently, while booking the room, Emily and Reid had a lengthy conversation of which they felt no need to include Taylor in, regarding the sleeping arrangements. Taylor was under the understanding that it would be she and Cecilia in one room, and Reid and Emily in another. When everyone's bags littered the floor of the room she thought was hers, she worked quite hard to hold back a few choice words she had for the both of them. They tried to gently explain that they thought this was best for several reasons. They didn't want to confuse Cecilia more than she already was by splitting up, leaving Cecilia minus two people she had gotten used to in the car in a place she wasn't familiar with, and then having them return in the morning. Taylor argued that things would change again when they got home, but Reid argued back about how that would be a permanent change and she would get that Emily would be there all the time, and eventually find that he would come and go.

Taylor scoffed, Reid crossed his arms like a child, and Emily stepped in and tried to help the situation. By helping, she made a bigger mess of thing, naturally, because why would things start working out for her now? She had spent the better part of the day saying ridiculous things, so the night had no reason to bring her luck. All she did was simply point out that Cecilia seemed to enjoy Reid for whatever reason, although she couldn't quite figure out what it was, and it might also help acclimate her to the night's surroundings if he was to share the same room with her, too. Having not thought this out properly, she spent awhile trying to talk Taylor out of the bathroom, where she had locked herself in. When that didn't work, she tried the only other tactic she could think of and used Taylor's own daughter to bait her out. Evil? Yes. Necessary? Also, yes.

Taylor couldn't hear anything from in the bathroom for several minutes. She knew her sister well enough, and possibly Reid, too, to know that this couldn't be good. By now, she figured that Cecilia was hanging off of Reid's leg again and Emily was becoming her pseudo mother. Taylor was embarrassed by herself, sick to her stomach that her own emotions had taken her away from her daughter. She had allowed them to become so strong that she locked herself in the bathroom and left her daughter out there with people who weren't her mother. Guilt overcame, and when she couldn't help but think maybe her daughter was better off hugging Reid's leg and calling Aunt Emily, Mommy Emily, she busted out of the bathroom, just like Emily knew she would. Once she was surrounded by quiet, Emily knew she'd never last. Her conscious about her daughter wouldn't allow for it.

"Oh, Cecilia, you're not hanging off of Spencer's...I mean, Reid's legs. Oh, bless you, child. Bless you." When her worst fears weren't confirmed, she was pleasantly surprised, since that just wasn't her life.

Cecilia, however, couldn't seem to care less about anything going on. She had crawled her way onto the bed and was tracing the pattern of the obnoxious bedspread with her fingers. Taylor wasn't sure she had seen something silent that was quite so loud.

"That was a little dramatic, but now that you're out of the bathroom I'm going to step out for a little while." Taylor made herself comfortable next to the bed near Cecilia. As Emily spoke, she wanted to run her hands through her daughter's beautiful dark hair, but she didn't want to frighten her. She knew she'd have to go slow in order to earn that privilege.

"Where are you going?" Looking up, she was curious as to where her sister was heading off to and why. She was more curious as to if she was taking Reid, because she didn't know that she wanted to be alone with just him and Cecilia, afraid her daughter may pick him over her, although she'd never speak a word of her fear.

They had, had too long of a day for her to get into that on top of it. And she couldn't imagine why her sister would want to turn around and leave again, as she, too, had to be exhausted. But Emily's mind was still working in overdrive, planning, re-planning, and looking ahead so that Taylor could just relax and enjoy her daughter, as well as deal with the inner workings of her psyche at the corner of Taylor and Reid.

"To the store that we passed just down the street. I want to pick up some snacks and drinks for Cecilia for tonight. In retrospect, we were a little ill prepared for this." Scoffing, Taylor tried not to show her distaste for the comment.

First off, there was no we in this originally. Second, she felt like that was an unnecessary blow to her heart, although she knew it couldn't be, because if someone wouldn't have turned off her alarm, she would have had a chance to stop at the store before she left and would be flying solo. And, in the end, maybe that wasn't best. Maybe there was a bigger reason for the way things turned out, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"All right, just don't go crazy. I wouldn't get her anything for in the car. I don't know if it's good for her to eat in the car being so little. I also don't know how her stomach is going to handle it since she's never done it before, and that's the last thing we need." They already had one accident. Having an accident from, well, the other end, would probably most likely make someone else sick. And by someone, she meant Reid.

"I won't, but I think we should stick more to her schedule tomorrow. If we have snacks, we can pull over at her snack time and not have to worry about finding anything. We'll give her some extra time to walk around and play outside the car afterwards so her food digests. That way, we'll just have to stop at restaurants for meals. You saw how well that went today, and tomorrow is going to be an even longer day, so we'll have to stop more than once." Taylor had agreed with her up until the last sentence. She tried to be understanding, because she knew Emily wasn't as used to Cecilia as she was, and to anyone who wasn't, her behavior may have seemed unpleasant.

Emily was used to some of the better things in life and nicer restaurants without children, and Taylor respected that, but it still hurt. She knew she was being sensitive and that's not what was meant by what she said, but it didn't matter. Seeing the look plastered all over her face, Reid stepped in.

"I don't actually think she was that bad. Most autistic children go into sensory overload when in public places, especially in restaurants, since they're generally noisy and more condensed than other places, such as shopping malls and large chain stores. Some go as far as to throw tantrums or their silverware. If the worst Cecilia did was become discontent, cranky, and throw her menu a few times, I think that was better than could have been expected and beyond how most autistic children would have behaved." Slowly, thinking she had given Cecilia enough time to become used to her gently touching her with her fingertips and being close to her, Taylor ran her fingers through Cecilia's hair. Instead of screaming or leaving her be, Cecilia turned and looked at her as if to say, "Bitch, my hair is perfect and you best not mess it up." Taylor took the hint.

"Her adoptive parents wanted her to be acclimated to the ways of life, to get her used to things so she was more calm with them when she was older and more aware of what was going on. Honestly, I think they wanted to get her used to the stares, too, so it was never weird to her; so she never knew anything was wrong...that she was so different." Not being able to help herself, she gave the hint back, running her fingers back through Cecilia's hair, while admiring how beautiful and delicate she was. You wouldn't know anything was different about her just to look at her, but it only took a few minutes of being around her for it to become apparent.

"She's a special little girl, and she's pretty amazing. That's the only reason people have to stare at her." Emily spoke carefully, deciding to get in on the love fest by moving closer to Cecilia, bending down near her.

The overload of having someone just a foot from her on the bed and petting her hair, plus having someone leaning over to be at her height just feet away, when all she wanted to do was trace the bedspread with her tiny fingers, became too much for Cecilia to handle. In one fell movement, she reached out her hand, yelled, swiped Taylor's hand away, then stared Emily down. She crossed her little arms and continued to stare at Emily, like she so rarely did, but as if she could see right through her and was trying to expel all her secrets by just looking at her. She'd make a great terrorist negotiator at this rate.

Taylor wondered what it was that suddenly made her decide to stare down two people in one day, and even though it was a little disarming, she was still jealous that she had yet to be stared down. She broke her gaze not thirty seconds after initiating it. She went back to playing with the bedspread, but there was a certain jerkiness to her movements now, like she couldn't get back into the flow of such a thing after being interrupted by two ignorant women. It was clear she wasn't going to be happy with them for the next few minutes, at least.

"I hate people. I hate that they look at her the way they do, and I hate that I was left alone because of some judgmental son of a..." Stopping herself, as not to swear around her daughter, became one of the most difficult things for her to do. Emotions overtook her, ones she didn't know she still had, and suddenly she just wanted to explode them throughout the room.

It's not that Taylor's voice became loud, but it was simply the way she had said what she said that was unsettling. So much so, in fact, that Cecilia, who was usually inept to people's social cues, much like Reid, crawled off the bed and sat on the floor next to Emily's legs, dragging her own blankie with her.

Rarely did Taylor know what really made her daughter do the things she did and this was no exception. At first she assumed it was her, but when she thought about it, she wondered if Cecilia would have really recognized the tone in her voice and been bothered by it. Leaning over the bed in a peek-a-boo way, Taylor looked down at Cecilia, apologizing, just in case.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Mommy Taylor is sorry, Cecilia. Mommy Taylor loves you. Mommy Taylor just had a moment." Her voice was playful and it was enough to make Cecilia look up for about two seconds before she saw a button on Emily's shirt and stood up to play with it.

"Look, Taylor, she's just like you. She likes shiny things, too." Emily marveled at the way Cecilia was fingering her button, feeling very special to have her that close. She hadn't gotten a proper hug from her niece since she was too tiny to care or fight back. Now, Cecilia kept just enough distance that Emily didn't feel like she could wrap her arms around her the way she wanted.

"Oh, ha-ha." Unamused by her sister's humor, Taylor rolled her eyes. Her liking shiny things was totally different than her daughter liking shiny things. Totally different.

"Who was joking?" It was unfortunate that Emily chose then to shrug, because that little bit of movement made Cecilia a very unhappy girl. She promptly removed her fingers from Emily's shirt. "All right, I can tell when my humor isn't wanted. As cute as it is that someone likes me for something, I'm going to get going before it gets too much later. I'm still tired from yesterday."

"I'll go with you." Reid was quick to pipe in, feeling out of place in this hotel room, living inside of a family moment. He was beginning to regret coming. Although his heart was in the right place and his reasons noble, he didn't belong here.

"Actually, you're going to stay here. I'm taking Cecilia with me." Shifting her focus, Emily looked at Cecilia, speaking to her as if she were the princess of the world. "Isn't that right, Cecilia? We're going to go shopping together, just us girls!"

"What? No. No, Emily. You and Reid go. That will give us some time to play away from you people. No offense, but I just got my daughter back and I just want a little time with her." By the time Taylor made her case, Cecilia had gotten excited over what Emily had said. It was more Emily's own excitement that had done it than an understanding of what was going on, but she was rocking back and forth and moving her hands near each other, almost clapping, like she had at the mention of home. She was looking in Emily's direction while doing this, and Taylor knew now was too late to step in and change plans.

"Nope, sorry. No can do. I promised Cecilia that she could go with me while you were in the bathroom. You will have plenty of time to be alone with her once we get home." Launching herself into an upright position, as she had yet to stand straight up since initially bending over to try and get some face time with her niece, Emily reached for her purse and then put two of Cecilia's blocks in it so she could have them in the car. It was only a few minutes' ride, but she wanted to be sure she didn't become bored.

"Why would you promise her that you were going to take her shopping?" Visibly upset, Taylor couldn't believe her own sister would take her daughter away from her so quickly. Even ten minutes was too long to be away from her this soon after getting her back. She really wished she could have done this herself; that it would have been possible.

"Because I'm getting food for her, and she should be allowed to pick out her own food." Noting the look on Taylor's face, Emily shook her head, denying her the option of being upset. She wanted her sister to understand why she was doing this and that it wasn't because she wanted to take her daughter from her. "You would say the same thing if you were the one going to the store. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but we don't treat her differently unless we absolutely have to. You're the one who decided that, remember?"

"You're not just doing this to stick Reid and me together so that we can work out whatever it is you think I'm stewing about? Because you know I'm too tired to even think about leaving this hotel room right now, you would do something like that." By implying Emily thought she was stewing about something, that was as good as admitting to it it to two profilers.

"Okay, well, we're off. See you guys in a little while." Without wanting to answer and have to be sneaky and lie, Emily decided saying toodles was her best bet. There was just one problem, she had a little girl who she couldn't allow to wander alone. "Hey, Cecilia, you're going to have to hold onto Aunt Emily's hand while we're gone, okay? I don't bite."

"You may not be able to take her. She's finicky about whose hand she holds. She holds mine because she's used to it and I've worked very hard to get her to do that, but she might not hold..." Cecilia wouldn't go outside anywhere without holding someone's hand. It was something she had gotten used to, and she needed that routine, but she had to be worked with and comfortable as to whose hand she held, so she probably wouldn't hold Emily's just yet. And just as Taylor thought that, she was proven wrong once the door to the outside world was opened. "Great, fine. I see how this is going to be."

Not able to take it, Taylor turned away from the sight, only to hear the heavy motel door slam behind her. She tensed up a little and flinched, but not half as much as she did when she felt Reid's hand on the side of her neck where it met her shoulder. It was soft and gentle, just as he always was toward her, but she didn't know how he managed to sneak up behind her when she was standing in front of a mirror, staring her own self down. Clearly, she wasn't paying attention to anything but number one.

"Taylor, are you okay?" When she didn't say anything, Reid's hands came to her shoulders, gently rubbing them. Her shoulders were so tight that he felt like he was massaging boulders, which was awkward. "Just try to relax into my hands. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Please don't touch me." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it was firm. Surprised, Reid took his hands away from her immediately. She bumped back into him, subsequently pushing him from against her so that she could run him over again to get around him.

"Taylor." As she sat down on the bed furthest from him and closest to the window, she butted in where he paused, his voice already pained. She couldn't do this right now.

"Spencer, please. Not now." Putting her hand up, she put a stop to whatever he had to say. She didn't care right now. She didn't want to hear it.

Saying nothing, Reid came over and sat on the bed next to her. He didn't sit too close, making sure he didn't touch her. He didn't want her to react like she had before, because he couldn't take it. Regardless, it only took her a few seconds to get off the bed, moving toward the door. As she opened it, she could see that the rain had started to fall. She stood there silent for a moment, debating her options. Reid could practically see her wheels turning, and although he wasn't supposed to say anything, and he knew this, he also didn't like the look on her face. Her looking out at the rain, debating if she should set foot outside, read more like she was contemplating something more serious, like suicide.

"Where are you going?" He wasn't sure why that was what had come out, but with the car gone and them surrounded by a small wooded area, the closest store having been passed about a half mile back, and the night covering the area, it seemed as if there were no options that were good ones. He wouldn't feels safe with her out there alone.

"I guess nowhere." She didn't snap at him this time, but instead sighed deeply as she shut the door. She didn't bother to move away from in front of it, though.

Feeling satisfied that she would be safe, however not comforted by her silence, Reid ultimately decided to leave her be for now, not moving, not shaking things up on his own. He gave it a few minutes and realized he wasn't the silent type, but just as he was about to open his mouth, she moved from her statuesque-like stance. She went over toward the bathroom again, flipping off the lights over the mirror, and then switched her focus to between the beds, where she switched off both of the lights between them. Reid shivered a little, never being a fan of the dark.

Taylor felt her way around the bed, absentmindedly touching Reid inappropriately while doing so. Though it briefly made him want to play the darkest, most emotional fiery game of grab-ass known to man, she quickly moved on and he knew so much better than to do anything but erase that thought from his mind. Just as he was adjusting to the dark, Taylor threw back the curtains, the light from the dull moon and sketchy neon motel sign illuminating through the rain. Not seconds later, she stepped back, sitting down on the bed and looking out, becoming a mannequin again.

They must have sat like that for fifteen minutes, neither moving much, Taylor completely still, and the rain beating down on the window the only thing that could be heard. Taylor was never one who could be quiet for long, so it was only natural she broke first. Reid had wanted to many times, but he barely liked the idea of getting his ass kicked by a woman ,and he had no doubt she could do it, so he refrained. Sighing first, Taylor closed her eyes before speaking.

"I guess I should call the social worker. I promised her I would once we stopped for the night." The idea was out there, but she didn't move. Underhandedly, she was trying to put the thought into Reid's mind, hoping to convince him to do so for her. She just didn't know that was what she was doing.

"Your sister already did while we were waiting to be checked in." Folding his hands on his lap, Reid relaxed a little, knowing Taylor had been the one to talk first and cut the tension. She was coming around in her own time, just as she always did. Learning how to follow in her stride was something Reid was having some issues getting accustomed to.

"Oh." Instead of making Taylor feel better, she felt worse. The way today had gone, she came to see that she was completely irrelevant. Cecilia hadn't needed her for anything and apparently she wasn't a necessary part of this road trip.

"Taylor?" He left the pause purposely this time, waiting to go on her cue per her response. He trusted that if she didn't want to talk, she'd tell him, just as she had before.

"Yeah?" The tone in her voice scared him. It took him back to the first day they had met, when he knew something was drastically off with her, yet he couldn't place what it was. He was afraid she was reversing into a psyche she had worked so hard to shed.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong? I'm not trying to tell you what to do or push you, but going on like this can't be healthy for you, therefore, it can't be healthy for Cecilia, either. Your disconsolate melancholy will rub off on her. Even though she's autistic, she can still feel that." Just after asking his question, he immediately tried to bite his tongue. He shouldn't have gone in that heavy and made it sound as if he was pushing or condescending her. Instead of doing so, he just continued on with his thought in a sad attempt to cover up his initial misstep, unable to stop his brain mid thought.

"No." When she sighed again and failed to bark, Reid knew something was really wrong. She couldn't even fight back. She just resigned to whatever sadness she was wallowing in.

"Why?" Trying again, only with a softer voice, Reid was determined not to give up on her. If she didn't talk about it, she would have a breakdown, something she couldn't do now that she had her daughter back.

"I can't pinpoint one thing right now." She, too, played with her hands in her lap, mirror ing Reid's actions. But she couldn't see Reid, nor him her, as they both stayed seated, her facing out the window and him the wall as they talked.

Neither had the social skills in a situation so emotionally draining to turn and look at each other, because one of them would break, or the conversation would become more emotional, harder than it already was, so they talked the only way they could both figure out how to. They focused on the words and themselves, but not on each other.

"Was today that bad for you? I thought you would be happy to finally get Cecilia back." His tone stayed hushed, gentle, his high pitched voice becoming a little lower with its softness. Her tone had been just as light all along. If they spoke too loudly, maybe the walls could hear them and hold their secrets.

"So did I." Biting her lip, she watched as lightening illuminated the sky, but it wasn't followed by thunder. Unusual and dark, it seemed like the perfect backdrop for the night.

"So you're not happy to have her back?" He didn't believe that could be true, but the pain in her voice was fighting him, sparking him to think otherwise. He wished he knew what was wrong, and that it was something he could kiss and make better, but he knew it wasn't.

"She's not the problem." Finally, she said what he had been waiting to hear. He'd anticipated this would come about eventually, that she would tell him in her own way that she was mad at him.

He pictured it differently; her straight out telling him that he had ruined her day by taking her daughter's attention from her, and that she didn't want to see him anymore. As unexpectedly as the way this was being handled was the way he felt when things didn't go that way. He hadn't prepared for this. It was better to get it over with, to ask the question he knew would spark her to continue with the conversation so that they could cut the cord now and hopefully have the car ride to at least figure out how to return to Virginia as friends.

"Am I the problem?" Closing his eyes, trying to catch a tear in the dark, though he promised himself he would not cry, he waited for the smoking gun.

"No. She likes you. She even grabbed your leg and tried to sit with you in the car. She didn't try to do that with me." Stuttering to catch his words, something to help patch her up since it wasn't seeming like he was going to need to throw himself a pity party, he counted his blessings for avoiding the fallout. He still worried that one day it would come. Nothing in his life stayed forever.

"That doesn't mean you're the problem." He didn't know how she could think that. Her daughter loved her more than she could love him or even her own aunt. There was a special bond between mothers and their children, one that wouldn't even transcend to their foster parents. There had been many studies on it, but he'd save her from that rant for now.

"You don't know anything about..." For a moment she became upset, but not at him, at herself. Her voice began to raise, but she caught herself, taking a deep breathe in and one back out, calming herself. She didn't want to do this tonight, and she didn't know how much time they had before her sister and daughter were to return. "You know what, fighting with a genius is just stupid."

Her voice was mixed with sarcasm and childishness, the perfect storm to set Reid's emotions on high. They had struck a chord with each other, something they thought they wouldn't do if they minded their tones and didn't focus on each other. She had set off the first domino and put a downfall in motion. Reid just wanted to get out what he had to get out now, what he didn't want to say, but knew he had to. If he just let it out now in this mix of emotion, unconsciously letting it slide, it may be easier than if he left himself to spend another day kicking around how to say this and when, in his mind.

"I don't know anything about what? Autistic kids? Because I have Asperger's Syndrome. I know it's not autism, but it's in the same spectrum. Maybe she just likes me because she can tell my mind is like hers." His voice had been a little harsh, but it was the only way he knew he'd be able to get this out.

In his mind, he justified saying what he did by telling himself he was easing her mind. He hoped that he was, that what he said would allow her to understand her daughter's possible, unexplained attachment to him. The fact that he was afraid to say it made him snap, and that was not what he wanted to do, but the only way he could get out. It was the only way he could make her feel better.

In the silence that had befallen the room, an unsteady breath broke through. It was followed by a choking sound, and then a sob. This continued a few more times before Reid was able to grasp that Taylor was crying. _She_ was crying, not him. He had just said the hardest words that were ever to slip through his mouth, and yet he had affected her on such a profoundly personal level that she couldn't hold back her emotion, even though she tried. Reid immediately thought that the way he had spoken to her had upset her, but before he could apologize, she set him straight.

"I didn't know." She couldn't say she was sorry; she didn't know how to right now. Her pride and pain wouldn't allow her to, so this was her way of saying it. In such a genius mind that understood nothing, he somehow got this. Maybe it was her vocal tone, lowering again, back down to a whisper, but he knew this was her sorry.

"I've never said it out loud before." His voice matched hers, but he held his composure better than he thought he ever would. It felt good, different, to say it out loud, but the words he said let her know she couldn't repeat this to anyone, not even her own sister. They had their own secret now, just the two of them. Worried when she continued to cry and didn't counter back, Reid stayed seated, but tried with her again, at least verbally. "Are you okay?"

"I just want to go sleep. I just want to sleep. Will you help me sleep?" Her words were slurring with her tears, her demeanor indicating that she was just through with today emotionally. If anyone should be tired, it would be her. It wasn't very late, but she deserved some rest.

"I will, but you have to tell me what you want me to do." He didn't believe she wanted anything physical, but helping her to sleep often insinuated so. He didn't want to get any wires crossed or upset her worse.

"Help me change. I'm too tired. Tuck me in." Barely able to string words together, she resorted to becoming like a child. She just wanted someone to take care of her without feeling selfish.

But she still felt selfish, because it took getting her daughter back for her to realize she wanted someone to take care of her the way she wanted to take care of her daughter. She was embarrassed by how she was acting, but she couldn't help it. She was acting on need only. Reid understood this, so he searched through her things in the dark, finding her pajamas and taking them to her. When she didn't respond, he did what she had asked and literally began to help her get them on. He pulled her shirt over her head, paying attention to the task at hand, but still unable to resist how beautiful she was. Leaning in, he gently tried to plant a kiss on her lips without taking her for all she was worth.

"I don't want it." She turned her head, whispering. She just wasn't ready. She was still upset and hurt by him. She knew it wasn't his fault and part of her just wanted to comfort him knowing what she did now, but she couldn't kiss him. Not yet.

"I'm sorry." He whispered back, going back to what he was doing. He knew she liked to sleep without a bra, as it was too uncomfortable, and he figured now would make no difference. As he went to reach for the back, their position struck him. "Maybe we should close the curtains and get you away from the window to change."

"Here's fine. There's no one out there. I want them open." Still whispering, she sat there almost catatonically as he got her out of her bra and replaced it with her shirt.

She knew what was coming next, but instead of complying with him, she simply got up, slid her jeans off, put her pajama pants over her legs and then went to the bed furthest from the window. She pulled back the covers and laid down, but didn't pull them over herself. She just laid there silently until Reid caught on. He came over, bending down and pulling the covers over her. He noticed when the sky lit up that tears were still rolling down her cheeks, though her sobs had stopped. As soon as she was covered up, she closed her eyes. He respected her space and went to sit on the bed where he had formerly been, in the dark.

Reid waited on the bed alone, unaware if Taylor was actually sleeping or just lying there pretending to. He didn't want to turn on a light or the television. He thought about showering, but he didn't want the pitter patter of the water to disturb her. So he just sat there. His thoughts started to swallow him. He could hardly comprehend what he just had shared with her. It began to get to him somewhere deep, to scrape at the scars and wounds he thought he had hid all too well. But she had shared her scars with him, both physical and literal, right up to tonight when she allowed him to strip her in the dark. He was still close enough to see her cuts and scars, and her gunshot wound that she held so personal. Just as the emotions began to overtake him, the motel door flew open, forcing him to control them and push them down deep, something he knew how to do all too well.

"Whoa. What did I tell you two about partying without parents present?" As soon as Emily entered the room, Cecilia and blankie in tow, bags hanging off of her other hands, she had to adjust to her surroundings. She hadn't expected to come back to a dark room. In fact, she had spent the time out of the motel room praying she wouldn't return to makeup sex. She couldn't see Reid naked again. Her stomach wasn't having it at all.

"Nothing?" Reid's voice was just as questioning. He took it literally. She had never said a thing to him about that, being as he was an adult himself, so he didn't understand what she was saying. Her joke was completely lost on him.

"What happened here?" Holding his fingers to his lips first, Reid shushed Emily, then pointed to the bed. Her eyes were just adjusting to the exact amount of darkness, and she was surprised to find her sister lying in the bed furthest from the window but facing it, seemingly asleep.

"Nothing." His voice already quiet, wanting to say the least that he had to as not to disturb whatever state Taylor was in, he repeated what he had first said, only as a statement this time.

"Oh, something happened. It looks like the retirement community came through here and recruited my sister. What's up with her?" Setting her bags down, she watched as Cecilia made her way over to the bed. Reid watched her, too, presuming she was going to play with the bedspread again, since that was the bed she had been doing it on earlier.

"She's just had a long day." His eyes were on Taylor when he talked, watching her carefully. Maybe he was profiling her and maybe he wasn't, but it didn't make him any less worried about her emotional state. For some reason, he thought bringing Cecilia home would make her happier, not upset her more.

"So you didn't p-i-s-s her off?" Carefully, Emily caught herself and spelled out the word, as not to teach a child bad manners. When Reid merely shrugged, she could see how badly this was breaking him apart. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" He fluffed her off with his a-typical response. It was emotionless, which always gave him away.

His focus had now shifted from Taylor to Cecilia, who was indeed standing at the bed and playing with the bedspread just inches from Taylor's body. He silently prayed she wouldn't accidentally touch her mom and scare her, setting her off. He continued to watch her, ready to pounce and pull her backward if he had to. He'd rather scare Cecilia than have her scare Taylor, which could have unspeakable consequences. He'd rather be the bad guy.

"I could think of a few reasons. I bought you something. I just can't promise I can find it in the dark." Emily still felt guilty, as if she could have caused the feelings Reid was having and the ones Taylor was obviously dealing with to be in bed already. She had bought both of them something, like it would make up for those feelings, although she knew it wouldn't. She just had to do something, though, anything to make herself feel a little better and ease her own mind.

"You didn't have to do that. Is there more stuff in the car?" Though nice, Reid fluffed that off, too. He focused on what needed done and what would get her off of the subject the quickest.

"There's a few more bags." She was unable to carry everything inside with a child holding onto her one hand. She had planned on going back out to get it once Cecilia was inside with Taylor, but she got sidetracked by the situation.

"I'll get them. Why don't you get ready for bed?" He offered, but he still didn't take his eyes away from Cecilia. She was getting closer and closer to Taylor, and he was concerned.

"Do you think Cecilia will be okay?" Emily had noticed it, too, and worried. But it wasn't so much that which scared her. She didn't want to leave Cecilia in a room alone to change her pajamas in the bathroom with someone who was sleeping, even if it was only for thirty seconds while Reid went to the car, which was parked right outside of the room. Just as she said it, though, Cecilia began to crawl into bed next to her mom, ignoring the bedspread completely. "That answers that."

"Hi, Cecilia." Groggily, Taylor started to come around. She hadn't really been sleeping, but she was out of it enough that it took her a moment to focus. When she did, she moved back, lifting up the covers for Cecilia. "Come here with Mommy Taylor. She has you."

It took some maneuvering and understanding, but Taylor was able to get Cecilia to lay down with her. Cecilia knew what it meant when the covers were pulled up, and she knew what it meant to lay down. Sometimes she just needed some encouraging. Seeing her mom do it helped. As Reid watched her, he began to wonder if Cecilia was really playing with the covers or if she had been trying to find her mom beneath them. There was a lot of things about Cecilia that weren't what Reid expected and struck him as curious, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Let Mommy Taylor take your shoes off. Do you want your jammies?" Cecilia was already in bed next to her mom, facing her, her thumb in her mouth and her little eyes already closed. It was a habit they were trying to get her to break as she got older, yet despite the best efforts, they were having more trouble breaking her from that than they had when they potty trained her.

Taking Cecilia's lack of movement as a no, Taylor reached down and pulled her little shoes off, tossing them on the floor. She snuggled as close as she could to Cecilia, without actually being on top of her. She wanted to hold her, but she knew she had to let Cecilia come to her. Cecilia had come this far herself, and she was proud of her, so she wouldn't push it. She would simply allow herself to drift off to sleep feeling like maybe, just maybe, she wasn't at the bottom of the barrel with her own child.

"Leave the bags. I'm going to go put my pajamas on, then you, and we'll just call it day. We can shower in the morning and make noise then, because I don't know about you, but I could use some sleep." Giving the pair a few minutes to fall into a deep enough place that they wouldn't be awoken by their talking, both stayed still. Emily broke the silence, deciding that if she couldn't beat them and didn't want to wake them, that they should just join them, because there were more important things in life than groceries and showers.

"What about them? It's not safe for Cecilia to be sleeping so close to the edge of the bed. It's better for autistic kids to sleep..." Shaking her head, Emily cut him off. She didn't want to hear one of his rants of intelligence, because all the knowledge in the world didn't matter. Everyone was different.

"Reid, just leave them go. Let them be happy. She's autistic, but she's fine. Her bed at home isn't against any walls, so please don't give me some speech about autistic children and how they should sleep. I swear I will be forced to lock you outside if you do. Besides, she's not two, she's almost six and we treat her like she's almost six." Although his cause was valid, Cecilia had always been fine. She had never fallen out of bed.

Emily wasn't worried, and she knew he shouldn't be either, so she left to change. When she came out, however, there was a scene in front of her that she hadn't expected. Taylor was now lying on the far end of the bed, as opposed to the middle, where she had been. Cecilia was now in the middle, while Reid took the outer edge of the bed where Cecilia had previously been. She tried to ignore her curiosity of how this had happened in less than five minutes and the horror in that Reid's pants were on the floor and so was his button up shirt, and just enjoy that she was going to have the entire bed to herself, free of the good doctor. She hadn't gotten what she had expected out of today. Her sister wasn't as happy as she thought she'd be, and Cecilia was more amazing than she remembered, but she knew one thing.

No matter how dejected her sister had felt, or left out and broken, she had people who loved her. She had a daughter who had her world ripped from her, but was handling it better than most children would, and she had autism, and Emily had no doubt it was because of the mother she had, one who she loved ever so dearly. She had Reid, who, as much as it made Emily gag to think this, made her happy in ways she didn't know Taylor could ever be happy again, in naked ways, both physically and emotionally.

And, of course, Taylor had her love, all of it that she had to give and some she didn't think she could spare. There was no reason for Taylor to be scared again or worried and hurt. If she just opened herself up and stopped allowing the ghosts of her past to chase her heels, she might find that, in a twisted kind of way, she had everything she could ever want or need within the four walls of a motel room in Ohio. And as long as Taylor didn't wake up and steal her sister's keys in the dark, leaving anyone stranded like she had so promised, everything was going to be just fine.


	13. Chapter 13

_Whoa did I run away. I honestly did not mean to do a disappearing act on you all, especially considering I'm clumsy and would make a terrible magician. I don't like when people make excuses for why they don't update, so I was going to tell you the truth, but then I realized the truth is much, much stranger than fiction or a plot on Criminal Minds, so then I wasn't going to tell you, but I'm just going to do it anyway and you all can look at me funny from there. It's fine. I'm used to it. I'm a psychic medium and I have been slammed with cases beyond reasonable belief since around April. I know that sounds like a seriously bizarre reason, but I swear on Reid's cuteness that it's true. And, I'm not going to lie, I am still slammed and am the only psychic medium the historical society in the area will work with, so I have a lot of cases coming up with them. That being said, I am going to try to make the updates as regular as possible, but I am literally booked through the end of December with cases, a charity ball I am helping plan, and the normal holiday activities, so please don't hurt me if I slack off again. I completely apologize in advance. On a good note, this chapter is really, really long. I won't even make a perverted comment about that fact either. _

_Ceegeeayy – Thanks for the review! I love you. In case I've not mentioned that, I totally love you. I'm trying to make Reid be a real boy, minus Prentiss poking him in the face, and without taking him out of character. This chapter might make you a little sad, too. Fair warning._

_SSAFunbar – Thanks for the review! Aw! I'm glad you liked the chapter! I think if Emily were younger and not working with Reid, she may be okay with seeing him naked. That might be a lie._

_KateEatsCake – Thanks for the review! Kate, Kate's Cake That She Eats, I am so sorry for not updating sooner! You're right, it has been forever. And honestly, if it wasn't for you, I probably would have forgotten about this for much, much longer. _

**Chapter 13**

**Ghosts of the Past With a Punch Line **

The night ahead proved to be more than some were prepared for, yet Taylor never flinched during the two times Cecilia woke up, her autism driving her sleep disorders. Instead, she quietly pulled her over to the sink just outside of the bathroom, turning on the lights, and playing as silently as she could with her for a little while, until Cecilia was ready to hit the hay again. Reid and Emily were both awoken each time, but quickly fell back to sleep under the cautioned stance of Taylor's playtime with her daughter. Meanwhile, there was Emily thinking the biggest snag of the night was going to be Reid's snoring. Thankfully, God didn't have as hefty a sense of humor as initially thought, because his nose made not a sound.

When dawn started playfully peaking through the windows, Taylor, the least chipper morning person in the history of mornings, awoke without a complaint to the sound of her daughter attempting to crawl over her to get out of the bed. Once Cecilia was up in the sunlight, she was up for the rest of the day. There was no use in trying to soothe her back to sleep, because she just wouldn't go. Trying to give her sister and Reid time to sleep, Taylor quietly took Cecilia into the bathroom and got herself and her daughter showered and ready for the drive ahead of them, silently cursing the butt crack of dawn hour in which she had been awoken. She was determined to complete it today and get Cecilia into a still temporary home, but the one with people who wouldn't be temporarily in her life.

The hideous morning hour hit a snag ever so quickly when the bathroom door was closed. Although Cecilia didn't scream out, as she often did when she was in distress, she flailed her arms and fought her mom, uncomfortable in a brand new space she wasn't yet used to. Last night, she had relied on her mom and her aunt to give her what she needed, but water had never been her favorite thing, and now that her mom was asking her to get under the water in a place she had never been, she decided it was unnecessary to be a human child, but yet something more sinister. Although Taylor knew it wasn't Cecilia's fault, she still struggled to not bust out crying or lose her cool, because the truth was she was tired and still doubting herself as a mother, and this was just adding to all of that. Eventually, though, they both got through it together, giving her a little more hope that maybe things would be okay.

When the pair exited the bathroom, the sight in front of them was something to behold. Emily and Reid had definitely awoken in the absence of Taylor and Cecilia. Emily, her hair disheveled and her fully clothed body was fighting with Reid and his underwear wearing only one. She was quite upset about what she was seeing, throwing clothes at Reid out of his bag in hopes of trying to get him into some kind of decent form. He sat oblivious, droning on about how he would get dressed once he got a shower, and that Emily was wrong, she would not die because she had seen him in his underwear. In fact, that was physically and scientifically impossible. Now Taylor remembered why she had tossed around the idea of leaving someone in Ohio.

She was just trying to grasp the right, witty wording in order to get them to knock of their childish behavior, when Cecilia stepped in to save the day, doing it for her. It was easy to forget about the darling little girl with the much younger mind who was standing and watching the scene, but the truth was, she was a personality in herself, and quite a sassy one like her mother, if Taylor did dare to think so herself. And she did.

Leaving Taylor's side, Cecilia walked over to Emily, who was holding up another shirt in her hands on the bed across from Reid, facing him and still going on about how indecent his nearly naked body was to her nearly blinded eyes. Reaching up, Cecilia grabbed the shirt from Emily's hand, quieting the room with all eyes on her. She walked the shirt the few feet to where Reid was, stopped just inches in front of him, and then threw the shirt at him. She ended her rampage by standing in front of Reid, staring at him much like she had the day before, only now looking less than happy.

"Ha-ha. Even a child agrees that you need a shirt." Turning, Cecilia looked at Emily, only staring at her for a few seconds before tromping off to her mom again as if she imply that she had it with those gosh darn people. All Emily could do was apologize. "I'm sorry, Cecilia. I'll just...I'm going to get a shower."

Awkwardly, Emily rose from the bed, feeling very out of place for being told off without any words being passed by a small child. Possibly the only person feeling more awkward than her, though, was Reid. He didn't take criticism or dirty looks well, and as far as everyone was concerned, he had just gotten both. His eyes scanned the room, pleading for someone to take his side on the shirtless matter. Having no one else on his side, they rested on Taylor, the one girl who liked it when he was naked.

"Oh, huh oh. Don't look at me. I let you sleep with me last night so that you'd shut up about autistic children and their chances of landing face first on the floor in their sleep. I don't have the energy to defend your shirtless self." Raising her eyebrow, she challenged her boxer clad, stick thin little friend. She cared greatly about him and that's why she constantly had to keep herself in check, making sure she didn't get too close to him, just in case. Her life had been one big just in case.

"Oh, so that's how that happened. I was wondering how badly he had to have tortured you to end up invading your Cecilia and mommy time." Emily turned, now facing Reid, too. Reid felt like he had to defend himself, two women slinging words at him and one child who had thrown a shirt at him. He felt trapped suddenly, although the girls were doing it in jest. Sometimes there was no in between for him, and he didn't see things like that.

"I thought you liked when I was shirtless and slept with you!" He barely tried defending himself against Taylor when he caught Emily's side of things and flung words back. "Hey!"

"When we're alone, Spencer. When we're alone." Taylor would have gotten her point across, letting him know she was just kidding with him, except that Emily went ahead and spoke right over her, canceling out anything she had to say.

"Don't hey me. I told you to leave them be, but no one ever listens to me." Like a scared little boy, unsure of himself and insecure, Reid took off away from the bed, holding the clothes over himself that had been thrown at him by Emily and Cecilia, and pushed past Emily and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Thankfully it didn't slam hard and scare Cecilia. Thank goodness for his lack of brute strength or things could have ended in a crying child. And that wasn't just meant toward Reid.

"Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Stunned at Reid's abnormal reaction, yet still trying to find the positive in everything as not to put more pressure on an already epically stressed Taylor, Emily tried to make light out of the situation.

"Maybe he had a wedgie." Taylor, wanting to do the same, went along with it. She knew it couldn't have just been their teasing that had upset him, but she didn't know what else it could be and didn't want to lead on that there could be anything else. She preferred to deal with Reid herself.

"Those boxers were tight enough. Okay, can we just not talk about this? You're pulling me into your world of undressed Reid, and I'm just not comfortable there. Apparently, he's not comfortable with our humor either. He's acting like we saw him naked and decided to make lewd comments about his most personal possessions." At the mere thought of what she said and how she had walked herself right back into talking about a naked Reid, Emily moaned loudly. When Taylor didn't join in, she looked up to see her sister staring at the bathroom door in a statuesque like manner. "Taylor, what's wrong?"

"I think that's why he's mad." Memories of last night came flooding back to her; the way she acted, the way she cried, but most importantly, what he had said to her and how in saying it he was trusting her to protect him now, too.

"I don't understand." Taylor took her fingers, rubbing both of her temples and trying to forget about herself for just a moment. If she's the one who had hurt Reid by not respecting him, by not giving him whatever he had expected her to give him, such as a change in their relationship, then this was all her fault. She just wished she would have known what he had expected.

"You wouldn't. It's an us thing." Blowing Emily off, Taylor tried to figure out how to handle the situation, but her brain was so jumbled. She felt like she needed another breakdown, but she couldn't. Not in

front of her daughter and not when Reid needed her.

"You have an us thing now, do you?" When Emily's joke fell flat again, she looked up at her sister's face and knew she was trying to hold everything in. She had hardly seen her that broken since the trial, and now she worried. "Taylor, what happened here last night while we were gone?"

She had wondered. It wasn't like her sister to crawl into bed and fall asleep so early. Factor that in with her just getting her daughter back and wanting nothing but to spend time with her, and Emily knew something was off. Besides, Reid had been acting like someone swiped his precious purple scarf when she had come back, and he was less than willing to talk to her about why he was acting that way or what was going on. Whatever it was, it had to be heavier than she initially thought.

Lightly, hesitantly, Taylor knocked on the bathroom door, her voice just as meek when it chased the knocking. "Spencer, please let me in."

"I don't think he heard you, darling." Seeing as Cecilia was busy tracing the same loud bedspread again, Emily came over to the door with her sister, bending down to where she had sunk onto the floor when Reid didn't immediately jump to open the door, and laid her hand on her arm.

"He's not going to let me in anyway. He's mad at me. I shouldn't have picked on him this morning. Not everything is about me. Ever since I met him, it's been a whole parade of my problems, and he wasn't allowed to have his own, because he tried to be my knight in shining armor. He thinks they exist somehow in his reading of medieval novels or something like that." Trying to blow off her former comments, Taylor ended what she said in a more lighthearted manner. Emily caught it and knew her defense mechanisms were up and that whatever had gone on had affected her sister deeply.

"Hey, I don't know what's going on, but I do know that you're not the selfish person you're implying you are. Yes, Reid has issues, and judging by some of the things he does and says, a lot of them, but he doesn't share them with anyone for the most part. In all the years I've worked with him and all the times I've profiled him subconsciously, I can honestly say it's just who he is. If he's been there for you in the way I know he has, it's because he's wanted to be. You make him feel things he doesn't understand, and that's not a world Reid is used to living in. He's used to knowing more than everyone else, but you make him think about himself as a person, as a man, and you make him think about what he wants. He's scared, and he can't help how he's going to react to things, just like you can't help how you reacted to him when you first met him. Just give him a little bit of space. He'll open up to you when he's ready, when he figures himself out." She ran her hands through Taylor's hair gently, being careful she didn't make her feel small, or mother her, because Taylor hated to admit when she needed taken care of. A lot of this came from the relationship she had with their mom. It was more out of fear than basic need that she rejected it.

Feeling stuck between confessing to her sister what Reid had told her and knowing she shouldn't, but needing someone to talk to, Taylor felt as if she was going to burst into a million tiny pieces, the ones you could never pick up and put back together again. Just when she was about to have a case of hopefully non-betraying word purging, Cecilia and her silly little fingers made their way haphazardly over to Taylor. She had been watching what Aunt Emily was doing with her mommy's hair, curious having not seen it done, and wanting to try it ever so badly. With her hands straight out, she kept on walking until they automatically tangled into her mommy's hair. She pulled her hands awaym finding the act less fun than she imagined, and then contorted her face into a wicked look, one that took all of Taylor's might to not bust out laughing at, but Emily couldn't help herself.

In a split second reaction, Cecilia took her hand, spread it open, licked the whole way up the palm, and then began banging it over her mom's hair in a ridiculous, uncoordinated way, just like any child would. It took Taylor until Cecilia pulled away with a satisfied look now on her face to realize that the precious little child of hers was fixing her hair with her spittle and tiny fingers. Emily was still in laughter, but as Cecilia walked away and went back to her bedspread, Taylor's reaction was so overwhelmed that it ended in nothing that was expected. Instead of sharing the laughter, she began to cry. She wasn't sobbing by any means, but was silent as the tears fell from her eyes.

"That was the cutest thing I've ever seen and you're going to cry about it?" Taking the approach that Emily always tried to take, a bit of lightheartedness there to share with everyone as her gift, she approached her sister differently; not like her mother, but as a friend, and not like the world was ending, but like Taylor was simply missing the punch line.

"I didn't think all of this would be so emotional for me. I've gone from the girl who had hundreds of ten foot walls up, all made of cement and perfectly placed, to the girl who just can't stop crying. I don't even know who I am right now." And that was the first time she had been honest with herself since that night she had first been with Reid. This wasn't about her being afraid, which she was, and it wasn't about her not knowing if she could do this, which she didn't, but instead about her not knowing who she was at the core and worrying that would effect her daughter in the long run.

"Maybe you don't have to know. Maybe that's okay and maybe that's what Cecilia is here to do, to teach you. You always knew who you were, but I watched all of that fade when your marriage dissolved, and more when you lost your daughter. It's only natural you would find yourself again with finding her and finding love again." Where Taylor saw the ghosts of her past chasing her heels, Emily saw hope, the same thing she knew Reid saw in her sister when he looked into her eyes and saw she meant him no malice. Her natural instinct to take care of him spoke for itself.

"Okay, back up that train, because who said anything about love?" Trying to come out of her temporary somber mood, Taylor was quick to mind Emily's wording and throw it back at her in a one-two punch like she had grown accustomed to through the pain.

"You don't have to be in love to love someone. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love Reid. I think he's a huge part of you getting through this right now. I know you were scared when we were in Chicago and this reality was presented to you, but you never showed it. It took you talking to Reid and realizing that finally someone other than me wasn't going to run from you because of who you are or your past and was willing to take the baggage and the honest truth for you to be able to start processing and dealing with everything. He's like a freedom for you. Even if you didn't know him very well before you came out to Chicago for the trial, and even if you haven't been around him very long since you got back, there's some people that just do that for you. I never thought you'd sleep with him before I could even process that I had taken him in and was temporarily stuck with him; I never thought you'd sleep with him at all, but I know that the girl you were when you came to my house was very broken, and the last thing she was looking for was to make a connection with someone. For you to have been with him when you were that scared and that fragile, so willing to show him all of your scars, that's what happened. For him to trust you enough to take him through something that terrified him that much, he felt it, too. And now here you are." Taylor leaning against the bathroom door that Reid was inside of, knees to her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks, and Emily right next to her, talking her through it like a good sister would.

"Here we are, and I've let him down when he hasn't done the same for me. He opened up to me last night, and instead of being there for him, I cried. I cried, and he tucked me into bed. And then this morning I went at him with my guard up because I had a bad morning with trying to get Cecilia showered, and I was stressed, and I made him feel like I forgot about him and I didn't respect him. I wasn't his freedom." Kissing her sister's forehead, Emily got off of the floor and went for her suitcase, sparking Taylor's interest. She thought it an odd moment to leave her for a suitcase full of stuff when stuff didn't matter. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I figure if Reid can't hear us talking outside of the bathroom, door and he doesn't know that you're crying over him by now, then he's either deaf or his IQ dropped a hundred points. I don't hear the shower running to block out the noise, so take your pick." Staring at Emily funny, she just shrugged, forcing Taylor to move away from the door, which only warranted more dirty looks. "In other words, I'm letting you in to talk to him."

Emily wiggled and jiggled her credit card in the lock of the door. It seemed cliche, but she had since learned ways to break in while working undercover and for just about any other government operative, and to even her surprise it really did work. She caught the door handle as it popped open under the distress of her jimmying the credit card, making sure it didn't pop open too far and alert Reid. He obviously wasn't paying much attention or he surely would have heard her jiggling the door handle and stopped her.

"You're welcome. Just don't do anything funky in there. If I can hear it, I will come in there with my gun out. I don't need more mental images than this morning already gave me." Stepping away from the door, Emily allowed room for her sister to get in. She stood close behind her, wanting to make sure she didn't back down in a cowardice state.

"We won't do anything gross. I don't want that from him right now. I just want to talk to him." With a mild and quiet twist of the door handle, Taylor apprehensively popped the door open, butterflies collecting in her tummy. The door was barely open three cracks when Emily immediately regretted where she was standing.

"Oh, not again! Oh, my eyes. There is a child in the room, and I am blind and can no longer take care of her. It burns. My eyes burn and I'm blind. Gees, Reid! I thought I told you to put some clothes on, not take them all off!" Before Emily had a chance to continue in her morning freak out, Taylor shoved herself inside of the bathroom and against a very naked Reid, and shut the door before he had a chance to be tipped off to exactly what was going on thanks to Emily and stop her from coming in.

Emily was still going on when Taylor very unpreparedly made her first attempt to rectify things with Reid. But in her best attempt to do that, a meager, uncomfortable hi was all she could get out. The bathroom was tiny and they were fairly cramped in there, her, Reid, the toilet and the shower. He didn't even have time to grab for his towel, nor was he happy about his privacy barriers being broken.

"What are you doing here? I locked the door for a reason! Please, get out! Please." Flustered, Reid hadn't meant to raise his voice at Taylor, and even at that he sounded like a baby lion barely able to roar.

He just wanted to be alone in his nakedness, feeling defenseless against Taylor in every way possible, his emotional guard having not been fully prepared for when morning came and the aftermath of what he had told her hit home. His wasn't reacting as well as he wanted to be and almost wished he hadn't said anything at all. He just wanted to be coddled in his own little way, yet put those feelings aside to take care of Taylor last night. And although he didn't regret it, it left him nothing but confusion.

"Please let me stay." In all her years, Taylor never had become good at begging. What she did best was learn how to entice a guy with what she had, and although it made her feel dirty because she remembered her past and the way she survived in an attempt to feel love, she found herself resorting to it by rubbing one of her hands up and down Reid's chest.

"Please let me get a shower." His voice was failing on him, bending to the way Taylor touched him. It wasn't what he wanted right now, but he was still new to this kind of attention and he couldn't help himself.

"Please don't make me leave before I talk to you." Batting her eyelashes was the oldest trick in the book, but it was all she had. It was that motion that alerted Reid to what she was doing, and just like that, upon realizing she was using her charms on him, he snapped right back into being himself, thinking a profiler to be too smart for that.

"Please just let me get a shower and then we can talk. I'm uncomfortable right now." He was still gentle with her, knowing that if she had resorted to becoming flirtatious to get what she wanted that it had to be for good reason, especially considering her past. She would never make herself feel like an object again unless it was because she felt she had to in order to get an important message across.

"Okay, can we just stop with the please? I feel like we're in a freaking episode of Barney." She finally cracked, seeing that Reid wasn't like other guys. It was her favorite thing about him and how she felt safe enough to act the way she just had. She knew he wouldn't take advantage of that, but she still snatched her hands away quickly.

"Who's Barney?" Taylor groaned, bringing her hand that was previously on Reid's chest up to her head to face palm herself. It was worth it and totally necessary as far as she was concerned.

"If you hang around, you'll become well acquainted with the purple dinosaur himself with a child around." Maybe Cecilia didn't understand what was going on, on Barney, but she sure as heck was amused and sometimes confused that a large purple pedophile-like dinosaur was able to talk and become friends with kids. Sometimes she even got up to touch the TV when it was on. If that didn't freak Reid out, nothing would, and that was just referring to the dinosaur, not Cecilia's reaction to it.

"What do you mean _if _I hang around? I thought I made it clear to you more than once that I have no intentions on going anywhere unless we split amicably or you don't want me anymore." As hurt and confused as Reid may have been by what Taylor had said, she hadn't meant it, but it had merely slipped out. She was so used to the if in life instead of the when.

"You act like you're just something I can throw away." Uncomfortable and sure he wouldn't understand her misstep even if she did try to explain, she deflected the conversation back on him. She wasn't trying to be rude, but instead letting him know he was worth more than he gave himself credit for in his own way.

"Others girl have." He looked away from her, more embarrassed by his own admittance and pain than the fact that he was naked, her body so close to his where she could simply look down and see all of him. That had always been the most uncomfortable part of sex for him.

"Hey." Taylor brought her hand up to the side of Reid's face, turning it so he would look at her, her eyes searing into his. "But I'm not other girls."

"You're not? Because I thought you liked when I slept beside you. I thought it made you feel safe, or at least that's what you told me when we stopped that night on our way to Chicago and you asked me to come into your room because you were scared and needed someone to let you know you could do this and you would be all right. It's what you told me the first night we were together and when you stayed at my place the night before we left. I thought you liked that your daughter seemed to like me, too, from what you said last night. Then this morning you said the only reason you let me sleep in bed with you was because I wouldn't shut up, and I realized I must have misunderstood. I'm sorry if you were annoyed with me." Reid had heard every excuse in the book for why he wasn't wanted, but on the higher end of the list was girls telling him he talked to much, or them getting bored by his banter. It happened more often than he'd like to admit, and he thought Taylor was the last person who would say that to him.

"I wasn't. Spencer, I was just picking on you this morning. It's this bit that my sister and I do sometimes. I know we can be a lot to take when we're together. One of us will start picking and the other jumps right in. I guess we can get nasty sometimes. It's not that I didn't want you to sleep with me last night, it's just that I expected to have the bed all to myself and my daughter. I know it's awkward sleeping in bed with my sister, and I didn't mean to offend you, but I was just so screwed up last night. I just wanted to know that it was just her and myself for a little while, and that she loved me when it was just the two of us; that I didn't need anyone else near for her to want to stay in bed with me." Taylor put her arms around Reid, trying to let him know that she hadn't meant to hurt him, and honestly, she felt even more horrible that she had because his incessant ranting wasn't the only reason she had let him in bed, but simply the only reason she just stated, not because she didn't want him there. He picked up on what she was getting at immediately, hoping he would have gotten through to her last night, but seeing that he didn't.

"You have to know that she loves you more than she could love Emily or she could love me. You're her mom. I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, but it's hard for me to comprehend how you can't know that. It's good for Cecilia to be surrounded by people who want to be part of her life and know these people, but she will always come back to you. I just wanted to lay with you and have you both know that I wasn't going anywhere and that I was there for both of you. I wanted you to know that I'll protect both of you." His voice became quicker, his tone stronger. He wasn't loud, nor was he yelling or letting his voice bark out at her. He was just persistent, losing patience in his inability to understand her psyche the way he wanted to. The anger was more in himself and his ability as a profiler than anything else, and maybe he had gotten too close to her to properly profile. Maybe it was his own fault he couldn't.

"And that's nice of you, but one day it might just be me and her. We might be the two musketeers, and I want her to get to know I'm the one constant in her life and get used to being alone with me, and get used to me being the soul caretaker of her in case that day comes." Taylor's fears were rooted in reality, but Reid's were rooted in statistics and facts and all he could see was fear in her eyes.

"Your sister isn't going anywhere. She would never leave the two of you, ever. And I don't know how to get through to you that I'm not either." Frustrated, Reid tried to step back from her, but ended up crashing the back of his feet into the tub. She took the hint, though, and let go of him as he made many hand motions to try and get his point across.

"You could die...you and her. One of you could get shot and killed out in the field one day, and then you'd both be gone just that fast and it would just be Cecilia and me." Stressed, Taylor's voice was near its breaking point. She had always worried that her sister would die one day, because she didn't have anyone else to go, too. Lo and behold the only other person she found happened to work in the same field, side by side with her sister, doubling her legitimate fears.

"We're not going to die, Taylor. Stop thinking like that." Yes, Reid did know there was always that possibility, but he knew the odds of that happening. He never thought of himself dying in the field, and he wasn't going to start now. Sometimes mind did take over matter and could cause a misstep, a moment of a mind lapse could cause consequences that couldn't be reversed.

"Can you promise me that?" Sarcastic, her eyes scowling, she shot back at him, shaking her head and crossing her arms in the space between them, shielding herself with them.

"Yes." Firmly, Reid answered. He didn't think about it, he just said the first thing he felt, and although he knew he could never keep a promise like that, he convinced himself he could. He wouldn't let himself think otherwise.

"You can promise me that you're not going to die out in the field? Because correct me if I'm wrong, but word around the water cooler has it that you were kidnapped and almost murdered." Upset, Reid turned his head from her again. He had admitted a lot of things to her, but this wasn't a place he was ready to go. It wasn't the kidnapping so much as the drug use that followed. He was afraid she'd think less of him and be afraid to let him around her daughter.

But Taylor didn't know about that. All she knew is that her sister came to her one night when she was done believing in anything and told her she would make it through the trial. When Taylor couldn't figure out how and Emily had exhausted every trick in the book to convince her, she let it slip about Reid. It wasn't that she wanted to give away his horror or his pain, but she knew her sister respected him, that she felt something for Reid and saw something in him that she hadn't seen in other guys to allow things to progress so quickly, and to see the way Taylor's eyes lit up when she talked about or to him on the phone. She wanted her sister to know that everyone had their demons, and even the person she respected and trusted had been there, and she wanted her to see where he was now. There was hope. There was light at the end of the tunnel.

"She shouldn't have told you that, but I'm right here, alive. My team found me." Cutting off this portion of the conversation, all Reid wanted to do was move on. He didn't want her to dwell in her headspace on this, because she wouldn't get the answers she was looking for, and he feared her threat of being left in Ohio.

"What if they don't next time?" Near tears, Taylor was disgusted with herself. She hadn't come in here to rehash her own problems for him to deal with over and over, but to take care of him, and she couldn't even do that. What made her think she could take care of her daughter?

The tears she let leak are what alerted Reid to the possibility that this wasn't about them dying, not really, but something else, something bigger that haunted her worse than he could imagine. For the first time in awhile, he was able to read her, just not as well as he wanted to. He wanted to solve all her problems, but it was exhausting.

"Taylor, what is this really about?" He hadn't meant to sound as harsh as he felt he may have, a sharper tongue than intended, but he couldn't go in circles with her anymore, bringing up the same things in different ways and not know why. Her demons were spinning circles around him.

"My husband left me. He said forever in a church, in front of a pastor, and then he walked out on me, and there's nothing keeping you here. There's nothing keeping Emily here. Yeah, she's my sister, but my mom's my mom and she deserted me. Even if people don't mean to, they leave me high and dry and alone. I just know to expect it by now. Everyone deserts me and I just need my daughter to know that I'm not going to desert her. I need her to know that I'm not her dad." This time, Taylor's voice exploded, leaving even Emily to hear the catastrophic effects of what happened when someone let pain build up for too long.

She had been foolish enough to believe her sister had at least begun to heal from this, but now she knew better. She wanted to throw clothes on and get Cecilia out of the room and away from the tension that was happening just behind a closed door, but she couldn't bring herself to. She had heard more of the conversation than she wanted to admit to, but she wanted to hear more. She wanted to know her sister outside of the attack and the trial the way that Reid was getting to know her. She knew she was selfish, but she couldn't help it. She sat on the bed, listening carefully as Cecilia played with the bedspread, seemingly her new favorite thing. Oh how she hoped they weren't going to have to buy it and drag it home just because Cecilia couldn't bear to part with it, because it sure was ugly.

"And neither am I. I just don't know how to get through to you when it comes to that." Reid did yell back, but it was his version of yelling. There was nothing particularly loud about it, just frustrated. If Taylor didn't know better, she would think they were having their first real fight.

"I believe you consciously, but subconsciously it's going to take some time. I'm always waiting for the goodbye. I don't know how to stop doing that. In my life, everyone leaves me or deserts me, everyone but Emily." Never had Taylor been violent, nor had she just wanted to take a swing at something, but she turned from Reid, smashing her fist sideways into the wall. She didn't hit very hard, and she didn't make a dent. She wasn't out to hurt herself or anyone else, but merely to release some of her pent up tension, but it frightened Reid.

"I care about you and I don't want to be the bad guy here, but I can't do this right now. I want to take care of you, but I can't. I need some time for myself. I know this is hard on you, I do, and I really am sorry." Reacting out of fear and instinct rather than the situation, Reid curled up inside of himself emotionally, shutting down the world outside of him. He hadn't done it to be vulgar, but he needed some time to himself and knew it when he entered the bathroom. Now he couldn't get his mind around it.

"It's okay. I actually came in here because I feel bad that it's always me you're having to take care of. I don't feel like I'm giving that back. I feel like I'm letting you down in that aspect." Instead of lashing out again, Taylor let more tears roll down her cheeks as she answered him in an almost whisper. She had lost sight of why she had come in here and it was her fault he was upset. Everything always felt like it was her fault and she was a wreck of a disaster inside, a cyclone ready to take down the world.

"What? No. You're not letting me down in this relationship, not at all. There's just some things that I have to deal with alone." Now that Reid understood the heart of what brought her into the bathroom, it was easier for him to let his walls fall away. He reached out for her hands, untangling them from the position of crossed arms where they had landed again after she took her frustration out on the wall.

"But you're not alone. You have me now and I can make you feel good." To Taylor, touch meant a very different thing. She saw the way she upset men before, and even though she knew they were men who would never love her and would use any excuse to beat on her, she still wanted to blame herself and fix it the only way she knew how.

"Taylor, I don't want it. I don't want this from you, not like this. I feel like our relationship is great and that we have a connection, but maybe having sex every time we feel depressed isn't how we should be dealing with things. I enjoy it...a lot, but now, especially with Cecilia around, we're not going to be physically be able to do that anymore." Rejecting the way she tried to kiss his neck, she tried a gentler approach, bringing her hands up and entangling them in his hair. He let her do that, but let her know firmly that this would go no further.

"I know, but you can't blame me for trying." The devil was in the wording. She knew Reid was right and what she had done wasn't something she should have done. He wasn't like that. She just needed to know he didn't blame her and hate her for it.

"No, I can't, and I don't. I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you. You're beautiful and you do make me feel good, but you do it more ways than just sexually. I never want you to come to me again this way because you feel like you have to apologize for something. This isn't and never will be how I want you to apologize, and if this is the way you feel like you have to do it, I'll end our relationship and break my promise, because I won't let you do this to yourself. I won't let you demean yourself to nothing but an object like this. It's not healthy for you." This wasn't the relationship Reid wanted. He knew she was broken from the moment he met her, and he questioned if he had done the wrong thing by being with her.

Even though that night existed, he often thought he should have backed away from trying to be more than friends with her and gotten to know her first. He should have reversed their relationship, because he wondered if he was taking advantage of her. But it ended here, in the hotel room bathroom, with her daughter not far away, because things couldn't continue the way they were. He wasn't doing anything to help her, although he didn't know that he was doing anything wrong either, and he sincerely cared for her.

"It's not healthy for you to keep inside what you told me last night. You're surrounded by people who love you, all who wouldn't look at you differently if you told them." Taylor was quick to shoot back at him, pointing out his flaws, because she often wondered if she was doing him an injustice by coming so easily to him, instead of working through his scars to try and make things last.

"That's different." His guard went back up immediately, his voice ice cold. This wasn't somewhere he wanted to go, and he even went as far as to untangle Taylor's hands from his hair, a place he previously liked them being.

"How?" Gentle with her words, she asked him. She got close to him again, putting her face close to his cheek by standing on her tip-toes. She wasn't trying to seduce him, just hold him close and make him feel loved and wanted and safe.

"Because I'm broken, I came straight out the factory that way, but you're not. This is emotional for you. It developed over time. It can be fixed. I can't. This is me. This is how I am." Worked up, Reid tries his best not to match the voice level that Taylor had prior to taking a swing at the wall. It simply wasn't him, but he had all of this built up inside of him, too, and this was something he never thought about giving an outlet to. He was too finite on keeping it a part of him and not sharing that part fully with anyone else.

"You know, you're spending so much time worrying about me and how I objectify myself that you can't even see that you do the same thing to yourself. You're not some manufactured piece of metal from a factory, you're a human being. You're not broken, you can't be. You're perfect the way you are. I love you this way, and yeah, I'm not in love with you, but that's just because we don't know each other well enough yet. Those guys I was with before, the ones that I objectified myself to in order to try and feel something, I didn't love them. I didn't care about them. As sad as it is to say, if they died, I'd have no reason to even go to their funerals. If you died, I'd be pretty jacked up." Still on her tip toes, she spoke in his ear. She wanted him to feel the words instead of just hear them. She couldn't think of any way to get closer to him, to let him know she meant every word of them, than to be right up against his naked body, her hands lovingly rubbing the sides of his arms.

"Thanks?" Seeing as that was certainly meant as a question, she pulled away, raising an eyebrow at him. "The way you word things throws me off sometimes. I grew up on a steady dose of renaissance literature, and jacked up wasn't mentioned anywhere in there."

"You're avoiding the subject. You're not broken. You're a whole person. Do you hear me?" Normally she would laugh at his lack of popular phrases, but instead, she was too upset that he didn't seem to care enough about himself to see he was human. She looked him straight in the eyes next, making sure he saw her expression and her features when she said the next thing to him. "Having Asperger's doesn't make you any less of a person. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Maybe it's why we met. Maybe we were meant to. You were meant to help Cecilia, and I was meant to help you and make you happy. My daughter is heavily autistic, and she's not broken either."

"What about you? What do you get out of this?" As much as Taylor believed to the core of her that everyone was there for a bigger purpose, Reid believed everyone had an agenda. There were days he wished he could take a page from Garcia's book and believe in everyone.

"I get you, and that's more than good enough." Somehow, in the midst of everything, the pair had become twisted, Taylor ending up near the tub and Reid near the door. She sat down silently, wanting him to know she was no threat and would never be. Seeing how close her face was to a place he had stopped her from venturing before, he grabbed for a towel, and she caught him off guard. "Spencer, when did you first know that you had Asperger's?"

"I don't want to talk about this. When I told you last night that I had never said it out loud, it was because I didn't just not want anyone to know, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. Saying it out loud is admitting it, and I just need time to deal with it. Please." Biting her lip, she got up off the of tub. She wanted to push the subject, but she knew he wanted her gone, and she didn't want to stay where she ultimately wasn't welcome. This was different from when he asked her to leave when she came into the bathroom; this was finite.

"I'm here, well, I'll be out there, if you want to talk." Shuffling around each other purposely this time, she made her way to the door. She grabbed for the doorknob and was ready to open it when he spoke.

"I won't, but thank you." Turning her head to the door, she froze for a minute, trying to accept that the one thing she wanted to make better for him, he wouldn't let her. Maybe she just wasn't enough. It was when her body shook in a quiet wail that he knew how upset she was. "Taylor, I'll help you figure out how to apologize to someone differently in a relationship, if you want me to. I would never tell you what I didn't want from you or threaten to break up with you, because that's not me. I just want you to know that I value you more than that, and I'm here to help you. That's all I want."

She didn't know that what he said helped. She appreciated that he wanted her to know the right way to do things, a way that wasn't sexual. But now wasn't the time or the place for him to bring it up, and she felt shut out again.

"That's all I want for you, too." She choked out the words, opening the door and slipping out. She knew she had to face her sister when she left the bathroom, so she tried to wipe her face quickly. She looked up at the last wipe of her hand to see her sister staring at her from the bed. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Trying to use her learned operative tricks to remain undercover, she pulled the best careful voice that she could. Taylor knew her too well for that.

"Like you know what happened in there." She knew her sister did. The walls were thin; there was no way she couldn't have.

"What did happen in there?" Still staying in character, she tried to act like her time had been spent watching Cecilia. Taylor decided the only way to answer this was with sarcasm.

"I told him I loved him but wasn't in love with him. It caused a whole brouhaha." Being popular her entire life for using odd words and phrases that made her sound like Donna Reed when annoyed, Taylor didn't disappoint.

"A brouhaha? So it's the nineteen fifties now? I'm pretty sure a time reversal only happens when you're lying." Realizing she wasn't one to talk and that her sister was just going to stare at her with her arms crossed, her eyes like daggers burning into Emily's very soul, she recanted and got a little more personal. "You know, I thought this would be the easy part of this trip; us staying overnight and using this hotel room for only a bed, not leaving our mark on the place when we left. It looks like this hotel room is bringing a lot of demons and holding a lot of secrets. What do you say we get out of here, you, me and Cecilia?"

"We can't leave Reid. I was only half serious when I said I was going to leave one of you in Ohio." The only reason Taylor would be thinking this right now was if she had thought about leaving Reid, which she had. Maybe not in Ohio, but when they got back she was highly considering parting ways. If love of any kind hurt this bad, maybe she didn't need it outside of Emily and Cecilia.

"We're not going to leave him here. We're just going to give him his time alone and go do something crazy." Assuring her sister that she wasn't going to let her give up on Reid in a way she understood, reading between the lines and having less trouble profiling her than Reid could through his emotions, she tried to fall back on what she had heard. She played into Reid needing time alone, encouraging her sister to get some air.

"You're an FBI agent. Your idea of crazy scares me." Although said sarcastically, she was quite serious about this. She often wondered what FBI agents considered crazy. She didn't know if she wanted to know.

"Stop being such a wimp and tell me who replaced my crazy little sister with a nun." Taylor had these wonderful moments of freedom when he was younger, ones that dominated more of her life than it left in the shadows.

She wasn't afraid of anything, and she took more risks than most people in the FBI. She was full out fearless and she still showed signs of it here and there, more so once her attacker killed himself, but she was still bottled up. She was reversing, and Emily couldn't let that happen. Maybe she just needed reminded of who she was, and that being a mom didn't mean she couldn't break some rules. It wouldn't make her a bad example. There was innocent ways to be free.

"Did you just call me a wimpy nun?" Always thinking of herself as a bit of a free spirit, one who had been shackled with chains from ghosts over the years, Taylor found herself just a tad more offended by this than the fact that Reid couldn't trust her with his own ghosts.

"More or less." Shrugging casually, Emily knew she had her if she didn't apologize or play into Taylor's hand. The two were quite the pair together, unstoppable almost.

"Oh, it's on now. Come on, Cecilia. Mommy Taylor and Aunt Emily are taking you on your first soon-to-be adventure." Walking over to Cecilia, Taylor bent down and put her hand out, waiting to see if Cecilia would reciprocate. Sometimes she did, but a lot of times she didn't. She must have decided that whatever he mom said sounded exhilarating, because she made this one of the rare, former times. With two hands enter-twined together, Taylor began to walk for the door, but the sound of the shower stopped her. "Wait. I should tell Spencer where we're going."

"Nah, let him think we left him here. Giving everyone peace of mind only ruins the adventure. Last one to the car is a rotten egg." Trying to get Taylor's mind off of what happened in the bathroom and knowing that opening that door to alert Reid would only upset her again, Emily tried to make the situation fun and not let Taylor have a moment more to think. Instead, she grabbed for her keys and started toward the car.

"Oh, huh uh, my daughter and I are not rotten eggs! We're too cute to be rotten eggs and we smell like hotel soap!" Wiggling Cecilia's hand, Taylor started moving her feet in place as quickly as she could, trying to get Cecilia to imitate her. When she tried, a little smile on her face, Taylor started to move as quickly as Cecilia could. She would have swooped her in her arms, but she didn't want to do that with no warning and upset her. By the time they got to the door, Emily was already just outside of it and almost to the car. Trying to stall her and divert her attention as she closed the door, Taylor called after her. "Okay, so maybe we smell like rotten eggs, but you're still being a meanie pants!"

Faking en epic fall, Emily hit the ground. She did it comedically enough that Taylor suspected it was on purpose and knew she was fine, but yet didn't know for sure if it was calculated or not. Pretending to try to get up and not be able to catch her ground, Taylor confirmed it, but decided she surely wasn't going to lose to someone who was faking a crash and giving her every chance to win. She zipped past her, Cecilia's little hand in hers, and then reached the car, claiming her victory by putting their joint hands on it.

"Ha! You're the rotten egg." Bending down to teach her daughter bad, but necessary manners, Taylor evened herself up with Cecilia. "Tell her, Cecilia. Tell her, ha, she's the rotten egg."

Cecilia didn't respond. It wasn't that Taylor had expected her to, but it still broke her heart. If she said it over and over, echolalia would probably kick in, but she didn't know that for sure ,and she didn't want to find out. Cecilia didn't have a definite. Some days she did things she would never do others, and there were days were she barely responded at all. Trying to keep things fun and keep her sister from going into a bout of depressing that she feared could be coming will all the changes rolling through her life, Emily fought to make it fun again.

"Oh, look at that, I am. I guess that means I'm paying for our adventure." Reaching her car door, Emily used her clicker to unlock the door. She started it, but Taylor just rolled her eyes.

"Were you ever not?" It's not like Taylor had money to spend. Her sister could be such a goofball sometimes, but at least she knew what Taylor needed. She more than made up for the absence of her mother.

"Good point. Everyone in the car." Trying to encourage them, Emily spoke up. She knew it didn't take long to shower, and the last thing they needed was for Reid to come out, towel clad, to make sure they weren't leaving him in the dust, walking past their suitcases and ignoring logic. He would do that, too, and her eyes just wouldn't be able to take it.

Normally she would help her sister buckle Cecilia in her car seat, but hearing what she had from the bathroom, she situated herself in the front seat of the car and let her sister handle it herself. Taylor needed to know she could go it alone and Emily had to respect that, although she, too, felt much like Reid did on the subject, but was seriously concerned for her sister's psyche. If she knew that some motel in the middle of nowhere, on a back road would be the smoking gun to Taylor's fears, Emily would have done things differently.

She still didn't know what had happened the night before while she was gone, but what she did know is what she heard in the bathroom. She knew her sister needed time with her daughter, and that maybe this wasn't so much about everyone leaving as her just finding the piece of her heart she thought she had lost forever. It was enough to make her wonder again if she was causing Taylor's problems. She wondered if she would have just gotten two hotel rooms and allowed her sister the freedom to be alone with her daughter if the fight between she and Reid would not have existed.

Eventually they would have to work through the things that were bound to plague the relationship if they let them, and she was grateful for the respect Reid had for her sister and the logic he carried when it came to the way she saw herself. She was equally as hurt to find how broken he was. She knew things were bad for him, but she didn't know about his disability, nor would she ever pretend like she did or bring it up, not even to Taylor. She was curious if what Taylor had said was true, if Reid and her sister were meant to meet because of Cecilia, and she had hope that maybe, just maybe, Cecilia was the one who was going to fix two lives if they would just stop chasing the heels of their ghosts and let her. Angels were bound to do that.


End file.
